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Grandma Asks #2

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Question appears after My story.............................

Grandma took the day off from work Friday and went to the beach. Gorgeous day, and I was looking all sunkist and "schmexy" so decided to viisit my local sex club that night.

Wearing my best "push up" briefs ( its always good to lure in those superficial queens) I made the rounds and scoped out the pickins..... After awhile an OK, average lookin guy in a tank top and boxer shorts (I am always suspicious of guys that wear tank tops to sex clubs) skulks his way over to me and says "do you like to suck big cocks" ? Under my breath I replied " obviously you Don't know me", but since small talk is not fashionable in these venues, I actually replied "UH-HUH"..... He say's "lets go to a room", and takes my hand (oh NO he didn't) and leads me to an empty room.

He pushes me down on the settee, positions himself in from of me and pulls out his "average" looking cock. OK, so not what I expected, but I was there already to proceeded to Suck.... He starts talkin and saying, "Ooooh baby thats the kind of blowjob I came here for", and "you're a good, fucking cocksucker"...... But then it happened.... he says "suck that BIG fucking italian/Brazilian brown cock"...

Well I spontaneously gasped, and burst out laughing, which he interpreted as me GAGGING, and says "Yeah, that's it faggot, GAG on that BIG cock".... WELL !

Question: What has a guy ever said to you during sex that made you snicker, chuckle, giggle, or laugh out loud ???

BTW - his BIG cock was something like THIS.....

tumblr_my2pyxUXC31s6cwkio1_500.jpg

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Just about anything anybody says to me during sex makes me laugh.

Grunting and groaning are fine, but it cracks me up when people think they need to use all those words.

Concentrate on the business for chrissake. If I wanted Alvin and the Chipmunks I would have put on a record.

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I had a big ol muscle boy bent over the bed once, and by once I mean 15+ years ago, and just as I drifted off into fantasy land, imaging that he was some straight line-backer that played football at state college on Spring Break, he looked back at me and started tellin me to fuck his pussy, pound it hard the same way I fuck my girl friend....

OK, first of all, it's not a fucking pussy you idiot, and second of all, I don't have a girl friend, have never had a girl friend, and just the thought of sticking my dick in a wet pussy is enough to make me ill. So just when I was about to give up, his voice got real high and he started screamin like a little girl. OK...that's kinda hot, so it sort of saved the day.

TMI?....

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I had a big ol muscle boy bent over the bed once, and by once I mean 15+ years ago, and just as I drifted off into fantasy land, imaging that he was some straight line-backer that played football at state college on Spring Break, he looked back at me and started tellin me to fuck his pussy, pound it hard the same way I fuck my girl friend....

OK, first of all, it's not a fucking pussy you idiot, and second of all, I don't have a girl friend, have never had a girl friend, and just the thought of sticking my dick in a wet pussy is enough to make me ill. So just when I was about to give up, his voice got real high and he started screamin like a little girl. OK...that's kinda hot, so it sort of saved the day.

TMI?....

Its never TMI for me, and am always curious to hear others experiences in situations I have found myself in.

I have never really been into fem guys (although if one with a 10" cock asked me to suck it, I WOULD) or guys that see themselves as women. So calling their asshole a pussy is a turnoff to me, although I have never been in a "cock giver" situation, but often like to RIM, and when the guy asks me to "eat his pussy", it makes my cock limp, even with 100 mg of Viagra....

Although a bit of "appropriate" talking is OK for me during sex, it is much more of a turn-on when I watch porn. Except if its a continuous barrage of "oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck"...... that's a NO !

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