AdamSmith Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 Brothel menu from 1912 Intrepid feminist blogger Amanda Marcotte tweeted a filthy piece of history early this morning: an old timey (ca. 1912) brothel menu from the famed London fuckery run by Mrs. F.A. Tasse. Among other insights that the menu makes us modern folks privy to, Marcotte notes that the menu should pretty much end all debate "over whether 'fuck' was a common word" back in the more tender-hearted 20th century. That's because the offerings on this brothel menu are laced with the sort of English slang and profanity that make Guy Ritchie's earlier gangster movies seem inexplicably charming. For example, the wide-eyed patron of Mrs. F.A. Tasse fuck juice palace has the option of getting a prosaic edge-of-the-bed diddle or "finger fuck, with juice," to the decidedly exotic "free back scuttle," during which a woman will rub the male patron's nuts with a feather while keeping out of his "poop hole" (that little number ran £3.85 in 1912). For a real gas, visitors might also have tried out the £30.00 "Pinkey's Special," which started with some "under fucking" and finished with a goose quill in the customer's asshole, because only the very classiest sexual encounters end with goose quills in orifices. However, the brothel wasn't for everyone, as the following end-of-menu disclaimer makes perfectly clear: No discount for cash. Stink fingers and jerking-off matinees for young men under 21, every Wednesday from 2:30 to 4. Customers must enter with cash in one hand and tool in the other. If you are not a self-starter, stay at home and jack yourself off. Hear that, ye of the shy erections? Get your stink finger fix somewhere else. http://jezebel.com/5988149/brothel-menu-from-1912-is-the-dirtiest-thing-youll-read-all-day MsAnn 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted December 17, 2014 Author Share Posted December 17, 2014 Old Brothel Menu Circa 1912 ...Oh, I haven't been on my blog as often as I should recently (am still answering emails from weeks ago too, sorry)but mark my words, I have some fabulous stuff saved up for you! Here's some of that fabulous stuff, and isn't it a beauty? Stink Fingers and Jerk Off Matinees at Mrs F.A. Tasse's place. That's what we need! We've been doing it wrong all along, and I'm here to show you wots wot, likes. Whilst every generation thinks that they invented sex, some of them may be surprised to discover that great, great, great grandma and grandpa may have been trying to cram the Chesterfield up each others's bums when no one was looking. Or maybe everybody was looking! And taking photos too! In my searches and love of all things whorestorical (new word) I found an old brothel menu of services from 1912. I must say, old fashioned porn is so much hornier than the neon plastic McPorn of modern day, in my opinion. I love searching for retro and vintage porn sites! Here's my interpretation of some the services available for the Fast, Slow and Smart Set. Thats us. Well, you're fast and slow, and I'm smart. Hahaha. French fashion with finger in ass hole...69/soixante neuf with a prostate massage? Oui, monsieur, now swivel, sil vous plait. Diddling on the edge of the bed, one foot on the floor...Wanking furiously whilst observing the rules of snooker. Pot Fuck. Blowing in the ass hole, new style...Some sort of farty bumlove fetish combining faked rimming? What was the old style? Thats what Id like to see. Finger fucking with juice...Self explanatory, but you are served with accompanying refreshments. How kind of you, I dont mind if I do. Dog fashion...Good old doggy style as we know it. Or the best at Crufts. Maybe both. Hope not. Ewww. Dry bob...Dry humping? Having a bit of a rub and a rummage whilst clothed. Or not wetting your hair before being cut into a Louise Brooks hairstyle. Sitting on prick, shoving in stones and all...Cowgirl, but also managing to capture the testicles in there too? How? And what is the and all? What more have you got to put in? A leg? One female suckoff, stones in mouth...Blowjob including the testicles. I like the word suckoff more than blowjob. Can you suckoff before you fuckoff? Brilliant chat up line. Maid to rub your tool, hardon guard...The maid will sort of fluff you ready, its guaranteed. Then you can just leap on the waiting girl and shove it in quick before you lose the hardon and become a flat prick*. Free back scuttling whilst woman rubs your nuts with a feather, must stay out of poop hole...Back scuttling is free! Hurrah! Free stuff! Bring it on! What is it? I think its a spooning shag, or doggy style lying down. Why is it free, but the rubbing your nuts with a feather costs $3.85? Those goose quills must be expensive. I bet they accidently found the poop hole very often too, Ill bet. Ass hole fucking for men over 45...Oh let me find ye olde strap-on for you there my good manwhat? Youre only 44? Oh thats a shameno ass hole fucking for you, until youre old enough. No, sorry, thems the rules. Bob cocks and flat pricks*...Either small or circumcised or flaccid orjust not very nice things to say to any poor nervous man! Stink fingers and jerk off matinees...mutual reverse masturbation with a lady of the morning. At 2.30pm. Get yourself through those doors and onto the conveyor belt of the Despunking Factory now if you know whats good for you! Pinkey's Special sir? http://www.thedollymoppfiles.co.uk/blog/2013/03/london-se1-escort-blog-borough-london-bridge/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RA1 Posted December 17, 2014 Members Share Posted December 17, 2014 Just for curiosity I estimate that 3.85 British Pounds in 1912 would be about 375 USD today. A bit pricey what, what? Best regards, RA1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MsAnn Posted December 17, 2014 Members Share Posted December 17, 2014 I liked "Asshole fucking for men over 45" Why am I suddenly depressed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted December 17, 2014 Author Share Posted December 17, 2014 Why am I suddenly depressed. Funny, I had just the opposite reaction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
