Where Have You Gone, Joe DiMaggio?

[Suckrates]

Callipygian started posting here on August 14th, and from the first he had my history in mind:

Posted 14 August 2014 - 03:36 PM

Frankly, the forums are richer, and therefore lucky to have such a depository for these type matters

We went from there to the ugly meltdown of last night that. Steven Draker had left on the 11th, but I don't think he would have posted such ugly things as we saw. So, I will confess that I don't know if callipygian is him or ButtWilde or some other person who hates me and loves the word that diminishes the vagina. The fact that so few people spoke up when it was happening is the Shame of Boytoy. You didn't have to defend me, but one would think you would defend the integrity of the website and try to protest or stop its ugliest moment from happening. I thank those who did speak up. The C-word used is so offensive to most people, not just women. I would have thought that you guys knew that. But callipygiian didn't stop there. Maybe he would have if more had spoken up to defend boytoy.com from this huge blemish.

Lucky, the only problem I see here is that YOU take this whole website thing way too seriously. If posting here and the dyamics of a website and its anonymous members are such an integral part of your life, maybe THAT's the main problem. ? I come here for a diversion, and whether someone is spouting the C-word, having a meltdown, feuding with another, really doesnt phase me. I log in, read what I want, take away what I want, and go on with my life. I have learned from my time over at Daddy's that getting involved in all this petty bullshit and web feuds is a losing battle. At the Very worst, you'll get a Ban, at the very least you'll come off looking stupid and have a reputation as a troublemaker. WHY risk all that ? So someone here hates you and called you a Cunt. OK.... how does that really affect your REAL life ? Maybe it hurt your feelings? IT SHOULDN'T ! It came from a person who means virtually NOTHING to you.... And by keeping this thread going and tit-for-tatting with your adversary, you are coming off looking childish and obsessive.... Look, WE are NOT the best of friends either, but the only friendly advice I can give you here is.......

[Suckrates]

So Lucky is the cunt? Or is it someone else? This is all so confusing.

THEY ARE ALL CUNTS !!!!!!! THIS IS A CUNT EQUALITY SITE !!!!!

[Suckrates]

I'm new here, and as such I don't know who anyone is or how long they have been posting. I don't the history of each poster, and why they do or do not like each other, or who has come here with an ax to grind, but I do know that what happened last night was perplexing. I did wonder if this site had any active moderators, and why a warning, at the very least, had not gone out. Perhaps more members will look at this and realize that it hurts everyone. Obviously there is a lot going on that I don't understand, but for now I think I will just keep my distance.

That's a Good move MsAnn.....

[AdamSmith]

But callipygiian didn't stop there. Maybe he would have if more had spoken up to defend boytoy.com from this huge blemish.

When in the history of trolldom has that ever worked?

Many of us spoke up some weeks ago to try and "defend boytoy.com" from Mr Draker's predations. The only effect that had was to egg him on to new depths.

Until Oz stepped in and used the admin's power of time-out on him.

[Suckrates]

When in the history of trolldom has that ever worked?

Many of us spoke up some weeks ago to try and "defend boytoy.com" from Mr Draker's predations. The only effect that had was to egg him on to new depths.

Until Oz stepped in and used the admin's power of time-out on him.

And anyway, how could you NOT love Trolls. Just look at those faces. I wish I lived in Trolldom, then I would have awesome Hair !

[Suckrates]

Now, on the other hand, its the 2-headed Troll you need to Beware of....

[Suckrates]

Grandma Suckrates & ME

[lookin]

Like Lucky/Paragon, I'd welcome lurkers feeling free to post on their own terms and would try to give them any support they need in their initial efforts. But, if they're not ready, it just doesn't make sense to me that shining a light on them would make them any readier. It wouldn't have worked on me, that's for sure. It would only have driven me further underground and made it less likely that I ever would have posted. In my opinion, it's counterproductive to focus more attention on someone who's made it clear s/he's comfortable with less attention. I don't understand why this is such a difficult concept to grasp. But, like clockwork, there comes a post that shines a beam on lurkers and, as far as I know, it's never been effective and it usually ends up with somebody getting their nose out of joint.

Didn't realize it would take only a few short weeks but, sure enough, here's another thread that singles out folks for not posting and, sure enough, it's got some noses out of joint and, sure enough, it has the predictable effect of causing some valuable new posters to consider going back to lurking.

The sad thing, for me anyway, is that, over the past few weeks, we have had some great new posters join in. I won't single out any names but there have been some terrific new contributors in the Rio and Prague threads, and in this Forum and elsewhere and I've really enjoyed reading them. My feeling is that it would be better to just let the new arrivals settle in and get comfortable, rather than to shine a light on those who may still be trying to decide whether or not to stick around.

Frankly, I don't expect this post will have any better results in ending these personal call-outs than my earlier posts did, or my ill-advised attempts at humor did. And perhaps it shouldn't. It's just one thought among many. Plus it may be too late for the current batch of newcomers, who get to watch this latest brouhaha. But I'd love to find a way to see what would happen if, in the future, we could just let folks enter the water at their own pace without pointing fingers at them.

Also didn't realize, until one of the new posters mentioned it, that OZ had sent out an email to inactive posters inviting them to come back for a look see. That was a terrific idea and it seemed to be bringing home the bacon. Now we may not know how it would have played out.

But never say never. With luck, there's a lurker nearby wondering if s/he might be welcomed to a new home.

And, last but certainly not least, many thanks to the new posters who have started contributing. There are some really informed and thoughtful additions to the Board.

Can't wait to see what OZ thinks when he gets back.

[Guest buddyb]

The best part about this thread so far is the QUEEN video!

[Lucky]

Didn't realize it would take only a few short weeks but, sure enough, here's another thread that singles out folks for not posting and, sure enough, it's got some noses out of joint and, sure enough, it has the predictable effect of causing some valuable new posters to consider going back to lurking.

The sad thing, for me anyway, is that, over the past few weeks, we have had some great new posters join in. I won't single out any names but there have been some terrific new contributors in the Rio and Prague threads, and in this Forum and elsewhere and I've really enjoyed reading them. My feeling is that it would be better to just let the new arrivals settle in and get comfortable, rather than to shine a light on those who may still be trying to decide whether or not to stick around.

Frankly, I don't expect this post will have any better results in ending these personal call-outs than my earlier posts did, or my ill-advised attempts at humor did. And perhaps it shouldn't. It's just one thought among many. Plus it may be too late for the current batch of newcomers, who get to watch this latest brouhaha. But I'd love to find a way to see what would happen if, in the future, we could just let folks enter the water at their own pace without pointing fingers at them.

Also didn't realize, until one of the new posters mentioned it, that OZ had sent out an email to inactive posters inviting them to come back for a look see. That was a terrific idea and it seemed to be bringing home the bacon. Now we may not know how it would have played out.

But never say never. With luck, there's a lurker nearby wondering if s/he might be welcomed to a new home.

And, last but certainly not least, many thanks to the new posters who have started contributing. There are some really informed and thoughtful additions to the Board.

Can't wait to see what OZ thinks when he gets back.

Didn't realize it would take only a few short weeks but, sure enough, here's another thread that singles out folks for not posting and, sure enough, it's got some noses out of joint and, sure enough, it has the predictable effect of causing some valuable new posters to consider going back to lurking.

The sad thing, for me anyway, is that, over the past few weeks, we have had some great new posters join in. I won't single out any names but there have been some terrific new contributors in the Rio and Prague threads, and in this Forum and elsewhere and I've really enjoyed reading them. My feeling is that it would be better to just let the new arrivals settle in and get comfortable, rather than to shine a light on those who may still be trying to decide whether or not to stick around.

Frankly, I don't expect this post will have any better results in ending these personal call-outs than my earlier posts did, or my ill-advised attempts at humor did. And perhaps it shouldn't. It's just one thought among many. Plus it may be too late for the current batch of newcomers, who get to watch this latest brouhaha. But I'd love to find a way to see what would happen if, in the future, we could just let folks enter the water at their own pace without pointing fingers at them.

Also didn't realize, until one of the new posters mentioned it, that OZ had sent out an email to inactive posters inviting them to come back for a look see. That was a terrific idea and it seemed to be bringing home the bacon. Now we may not know how it would have played out.

But never say never. With luck, there's a lurker nearby wondering if s/he might be welcomed to a new home.

And, last but certainly not least, many thanks to the new posters who have started contributing. There are some really informed and thoughtful additions to the Board.

Can't wait to see what OZ thinks when he gets back.

I've known some potheads in my time, and their most obvious characteristic is apathy. They don't want to interrupt their haze to follow a call to be your better self. they don't want anyone encouraging them to post to help-out the website they use. Asking people to post? A major crime to them, as in their world, people will post if they want to. Encouragement might get people to post, it might make them feel welcome, but it's just so much work. Better to take another puff.

MsAnn above states a desire to put some space between herself and the website. Instead of encouraging her to stay and contribute, Suckrates says, yeah stay away. that's a good idea. How wonderful for the website. And no one calls him on it.

Then you have a guy who has contributed a lot to the website coming under a vicious attack. Do you stand up for him? Do you stand up for the website? Nah, it's work. Where's that joint?

[Guest callipygian]

Name calling: You're a pot-head. You're a hypocrite. You're a bigot. You're a cunt. You're a racist. You're a nigger. You're a hick. You're a fag. etc.....

When is it ever acceptable? Usually never. How often does it happen? More times than it probably should in our society and that's what makes us all flawed individuals. Some not caring while others are looking for improvement.

However, feeling victimized by someone and then turning around and victimizing another human being for their personal beliefs and expressions is worse than name calling. It's simply not knowing thyself and most likely not caring about it either.

What people feel about other people is probably never going to change in most cases. How we express those feelings to one another is the important journey.

My apologies if I have offended anyone.

[Lucky]

Name calling: You're a pot-head. You're a hypocrite. You're a bigot. You're a cunt. You're a racist. You're a nigger. You're a hick. You're a fag. etc.....

When is it ever acceptable? Usually never. How often does it happen? More times than it probably should in our society and that's what makes us all flawed individuals. Some not caring while others are looking for improvement.

However, feeling victimized by someone and then turning around and victimizing another human being for their personal beliefs and expressions is worse than name calling. It's simply not knowing thyself and most likely not caring about it either.

What people feel about other people is probably never going to change in most cases. How we express those feelings to one another is the important journey.

My apologies if I have offended anyone.

Are you out on a day pass?

[RA1]

My feelings about other folks have changed over the years. I have tried to improve myself as well as either set an example or at least not trample upon others. How I have treated others has not changed much. I have for a very long time tried to not mistreat others. National and local laws did not make me do this but simply the observation of what I considered to be right. However, I agree with you that many seem to "honor' the law and apply it fairly regardless of their personal beliefs. I suppose that is progress.

In spite of my Southern heritage and daily hearing both blacks and whites use the "N" word, I can say I never have. Likely, I never will. I just don't like it and find it inappropriate.

Now as far as name calling goes, whether you are a baby raping, shit eating, cock-sucking, mother-fucking son of a bitch or not probably doesn't matter much to me so long as you are good to your dog.

Best regards,

RA1

[AdamSmith]

I've known some potheads in my time, and their most obvious characteristic is apathy. They don't want to interrupt their haze to follow a call to be your better self. they don't want anyone encouraging them to post to help-out the website they use. Asking people to post? A major crime to them, as in their world, people will post if they want to. Encouragement might get people to post, it might make them feel welcome, but it's just so much work. Better to take another puff.

MsAnn above states a desire to put some space between herself and the website. Instead of encouraging her to stay and contribute, Suckrates says, yeah stay away. that's a good idea. How wonderful for the website. And no one calls him on it.

Then you have a guy who has contributed a lot to the website coming under a vicious attack. Do you stand up for him? Do you stand up for the website? Nah, it's work. Where's that joint?

lookin offered carefully considered, respectfully presented thoughts on why exhorting participation here may not in fact be the best way to achieve that goal.

Instead of engaging his points, you responded with an ad hominem attack.

It is not easy to see how your act helps make this a better forum, as you say you wish to do.

[lookin]

Why yes, dear, I guess I am an apathetic pothead!

. . . . . . . . . What's 'apathetic' mean?

Must be Italian for 'bogart'.

[Guest callipygian]

[Suckrates]

You know something Lucky, I tried to offer you some advise, but you are no better or different from the people you criticize. You refuse to listen, and have a one track mind. And YES I did tell MsAnn to keep her distance, as I understood it, she meant the Drama on the site, not the site itself, but once again you felt a need to call me out because I didnt fall in line with YOUR agenda.

My advise now is to go and get yourself your OWN website and run it any which fucking way you want, but I suspect if your modus operandi remains the same, you will be as much of a failure there as you are here in expanding membership and participation.

Perhaps people just dont want to fall under your wrath and its actually YOU that is keeping them away ?

The good things you contribute to this site are heavily Clouded by all your bullshit !

[Guest callipygian]

Are you out on a day pass?

I am Lucky. As flawed as I am, it's true. I think many of us are on a day pass in life, in one manner or another.

I am deeply sorry I called you a cunt. It's just what I feel and get from you. I suspect, the feeling is mutual toward me.

If there has ever been - or should there ever be - anyone - whom I might strive to be like - it is Lookin'.

He represents, to me, time after time, how better we can all become. Not only as a collective people - but as individuals as well.

I really don't care what you think about me - but some people are worth defending.

Your attack on Lookin - was everything which you now seek support from others by my calling you a cunt.

I can't understand that. Unless, you, truly believe, that there are other people in this world who feel other things which you have yet to connect to.

So yes, my day pass IS day to day. I'm not ashamed of that.

It's what, hopefully, allows me to become a better person than whom I was yesterday.

[Suckrates]

Callip, apologies are nice, and tend to calm the waters for a bit, and if they are sincere and heartfelt, they are usually well received and appreciated.

But honestly, I dont understand why you are pandering to Lucky ? He clearly stirred the pot, and then didnt like member reaction, and his response was less than warm and cuddly....

Instead of an apology, sometimes you just wanna say "SHUT THE FUCK UP"....... and I will bet my entire IRA that Lucky will reply that comments like that are driving people from this site, OR preventing them from joining. It's the same old battle cry he used over at Daddy's during my time there, where he was a major advocate of having me Banned because he felt my presence HURT membership... Some people never evolve. they just remain the same old One Trick pony their entire sad life.

[AdamSmith]

Lucky appears to have deactivated his member profile here.

[RA1]

Amazing.

Best regards,

RA1

[AdamSmith]

[AdamSmith]

[AdamSmith]

[Guest hitoallusa]

Oh my that's the sweetest thing that you have ever said.. But you have to be careful.. You don't want to be mistaken as a stalker...

Where is my prince who would do such a thing.. Prince William is already expecting his second child... I have a lot of catching up to do... Watch out Kate Middleton, I'm going to be mother of more royal children than you could possibly imagine.