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Wecome to the Free World Michael Alig

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Growing up watching this Club Kids group on Geraldo, it just made me fantasize about living in a city like New York where being freaky could be cool. It was something I longed for growing up in Bama.

Now, one of the most notorious of the group is released from prison on May 5th after serving time for murder.

Here is a great letter to him:

http://worldofwonder.net/dear-michael-alig/

risoner #97A6595 aka Michael Alig is officially released from prison today. In honor of that occasion, I thought I’d jot down a few thoughts about life in the new millennia to pass along to him.

Dear Michael,

It’s a very different world you’re re-entering into. So much has changed in the 17 years since you last walked among us. For instance: We have talking pictures now! And cronuts!

Boys are cuter in the 21st century. And dicks are bigger. These are facts. If you don’t believe me, spend an hour on Tumblr. Another odd thing: EVERYBODY has killer style now. Kids in Peoria are as fabulous as the kids in Williamsburg. It’s all rather dizzying, and kind of depressing. When everybody is fabulous, nobody is.

OMG. Burger King changed their french fries and the world has never been the same.

Cabs take credit cards now.

We don’t use the “t” word anymore. (It’s “trans” now) And don’t even joke about it. The PC police will GET YOU. Also: “cisgender” is a thing now. Sprinkle it liberally into conversations to give yourself a bit of gravitas.

Viral videos, blogs, GIFs, memes – there’s a whole world waiting for you online. But the internet is a scary place. Things get weird fast. I suggest dipping your feet in slowly. Gently. Here are a few fun, soothing videos to get you going: David After Dentist, The Prancercize Lady, Charlie Bit Me, Sweet Brown, Two Girls One Cup…

Technology develops at light speed now, you don’t want to get left behind. You NEED a smart phone, a computer, a DVR, and a tablet. There are no two ways around this. And be sure to keep up on all the latest upgrades and gadgets. You don’t want to be like me. I still have an iphone 4. Its calculator is an abacus. My Grindr only has Pilgrims in my area who want to hook up. It’s OLD.

Read the entire letter at the link above!

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Growing up watching this Club Kids group on Geraldo, it just made me fantasize about living in a city like New York where being freaky could be cool.

Freaky...yes; cool...no.

tumblr_mif8osN7cM1s1jx3go1_500.gif

Thank God I didn't much care for Geraldo.

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