Community Comity Commission (CCC): IMPORTANT PLEASE READ

[TampaYankee]

So far, I'm taking from this thread either we just go ahead and institute the original plan and the community chooses to make use of it or not, or we just forget the whole thing, continue to enforce bright line infractions and leave it to the each to deal with his neighbors, with Management dispensing a dose of discipline about civility as needed.

I'm not into cooling-off periods or hand-slaps or other namby-pamby feel-good accomplish-nothing over-the-long-term actions by Management. The most effective things that can be done is: respect each other or ignore each other. The latter requires self discipline, self restraint and use of forum tools provided.

If you guys want to shape your community behavior beyond what Oz and I are comfortable with then do it. Else, live with it as is. The latter will mean that responses to requests for suspending or banning members will most often receive the reply: deal with it. We will review complaints as we do now. But only bright line infractions are likely to result in suspension or banishment. That's my view anyway. Oz will have his say and he and I will move ahead with what we decide. That is unless someone proposes an appealing idea that has not been considered.

[Guest NCBored]

So far, I'm taking from this thread either we just go ahead and institute the original plan and the community chooses to make use of it or not, or we just forget the whole thing, continue to enforce bright line infractions and leave it to the each to deal with his neighbors, with Management dispensing a dose of discipline about civility as needed.

I'm not into cooling-off periods or hand-slaps or other namby-pamby feel-good accomplish-nothing over-the-long-term actions by Management. The most effective things that can be done is: respect each other or ignore each other. The latter requires self discipline, self restraint and use of forum tools provided.

If you guys want to shape your community behavior beyond what Oz and I are comfortable with then do it. Else, live with it as is. The latter will mean that responses to requests for suspending or banning members will most often receive the reply: deal with it. We will review complaints as we do now. But only bright line infractions are likely to result in suspension or banishment. That's my view anyway. Oz will have his say and he and I will move ahead with what we decide. That is unless someone proposes an appealing idea that has not been considered.

I suspect that the process would be used seldom, if ever, but having it available would explicitly put the onus on members.

I'm still confused about why 19 total votes are required if 9 will 'convict', but maybe it's just the wording.

Regardless, I think that Management should still 'dispens[e] a dose of discipline about civility as needed'.

Why not put it to a vote (poll) and be done with it. (I don't mean that to sound harsh, and I certainly don't want to discourage further comments - just saying let's settle it & move on.

That's my 2 cents worth!

[MsGuy]

... just forget the whole thing, continue to enforce bright line infractions and leave it to the each to deal with his neighbors, with Management dispensing a dose of discipline about civility as needed.

Does this mean I'm no longer Lord High Executioner?

So what shall I tell Eric, my new headsman?

Hmmm...

Eric, sweetie, I think Mr. TY wants to see you this afternoon. Don't forget to take your best axe.

[RA1]

MsGuy-

I thought you gave the LBJ speech earlier. If nominated, I shall not run; if elected, I shall not serve.........etc.

Now you are looking for a job description for your headman?

Best regards,

RA1

[Guest lurkerspeaks]

I will publicly step forward and say that I think I might have been one of the "instigators" to this whole thing. I have complained about a certain individual who I feel (IMHO) has repeatedly overstepped the bounds of civility on numerous occasions. Maybe I am just more thin skinned than most, but I am not a fan of this individual. I do admit that he does make some posts which are very popular and well-liked, but when he turns personal, that is when I have the issue with him. He seemingly TRIES to start and/or stir up shit. I have attempted to speak with him thru PM's, only to have been met with what I perceived to be threats.

I consider myself to be a calm, rational person. As I was once called "over there", I even consider myself a Pollyanna. I always try to see the good in people. I have several people on ignore here, but when the cat fights start back and forth, I admit I look to see what they are all about. I guess I think of myself as a defender of the people. I do not like to see bullies. I think of boytoy (and MER) as a home of sorts, and I take ownership in the motley group of posters here in the forum. I guess it is akin to being on the HOA board of a condo association.

I do not always agree with the "Prime Directive" as put forth by Oz and TY, but I am willing to abide by it. The available options are to 1) abide, 2) stop posting, or 3) go back to "the other place" where there is much less openness to discuss--over there it is "my way or the highway"..

Having met Oz last year, I believe him to be a fair and honest person who tries to treat everyone equally. I have not had the pleasure yet to meet TY, but hopefully one day our paths will cross. Earlier in this thread, I posted what I would like to see as a solution, but I understand if that is not what the owners of the site want. That will, ultimately, leave me with the decision of the three choices listed above.

[Lucky]

I will publicly step forward and say that I think I might have been one of the "instigators" to this whole thing. I have complained about a certain individual who I feel (IMHO) has repeatedly overstepped the bounds of civility on numerous occasions. Maybe I am just more thin skinned than most, but I am not a fan of this individual. I do admit that he does make some posts which are very popular and well-liked, but when he turns personal, that is when I have the issue with him. He seemingly TRIES to start and/or stir up shit. I have attempted to speak with him thru PM's, only to have been met with what I perceived to be threats.

I consider myself to be a calm, rational person. As I was once called "over there", I even consider myself a Pollyanna. I always try to see the good in people. I have several people on ignore here, but when the cat fights start back and forth, I admit I look to see what they are all about. I guess I think of myself as a defender of the people. I do not like to see bullies. I think of boytoy (and MER) as a home of sorts, and I take ownership in the motley group of posters here in the forum. I guess it is akin to being on the HOA board of a condo association.

I do not always agree with the "Prime Directive" as put forth by Oz and TY, but I am willing to abide by it. The available options are to 1) abide, 2) stop posting, or 3) go back to "the other place" where there is much less openness to discuss--over there it is "my way or the highway"..

Having met Oz last year, I believe him to be a fair and honest person who tries to treat everyone equally. I have not had the pleasure yet to meet TY, but hopefully one day our paths will cross. Earlier in this thread, I posted what I would like to see as a solution, but I understand if that is not what the owners of the site want. That will, ultimately, leave me with the decision of the three choices listed above.

Lurker, it's all window dressing.and I love dressing, especially at Thanksgiving. Even the big department stores will soon have pretty displays in their windows.

[TotallyOz]

I do not always agree with the "Prime Directive" as put forth by Oz and TY, but I am willing to abide by it. The available options are to 1) abide, 2) stop posting, or 3) go back to "the other place" where there is much less openness to discuss--over there it is "my way or the highway"..

First, thank you for your kind words. They are much appreciated. I liked your reference to yourself as a Pollyanna type. When I watched the latest episode of Glee, I thought about some of the people on this board. I like to think of myself as a GaGa but know in the end, I am very much more like Katie Perry.

As far as options, remember there are actually 6:

1. If the admins feel someone is reeking havoc, we will take action.

if no action is taken members can

2. Initiate the CCC and take matters into their own hands and leave the decision up to the members. A very fair option IMHO.

3. Leave - not something we want anyone to do.

4. Go to the "dark side." It didn't work for Darth Vader and it wont work any Pollyanna or most others.

5. Send a nasty email to Oz telling him what a prick he is and call him every name in the book and keep posting as I won't ban anyone for doing that to me in a PM.

6. Go to a local gay bar and tip a gogo boy and remember that many other members here are doing the same thing in another city and just having such frigging cool people to chat with who have like minded interests make stepping in a little shit every once in a while totally worth it.

[TampaYankee]

I suspect that the process would be used seldom, if ever, but having it available would explicitly put the onus on members.

I'm still confused about why 19 total votes are required if 9 will 'convict', but maybe it's just the wording.

Regardless, I think that Management should still 'dispens[e] a dose of discipline about civility as needed'.

Why not put it to a vote (poll) and be done with it. (I don't mean that to sound harsh, and I certainly don't want to discourage further comments - just saying let's settle it & move on.

That's my 2 cents worth!

I agree with your first point and came to this conclusion after my last post. The process will be there if members want to use it.

Let me restate the suspension finding requirement a little more succintly: To find for suspension a majority must find in the affirmative with a minimum of at least 9 votes. You do the math.

Management shall continue to dispense doses of discipline as needed, do not fear. However, we will not ban or suspend anyone unless and until their behavior crosses a bright line to become vindictive or agenda driven in the estimate of management.

There is no need to put it to a vote. Admin implements it and members vote anytime they want, whether to use it or not.

Thanks for the donation. We appreciate contributions of all amounts.

[TampaYankee]

TY, darling, proposing moi as Lord High Executioner shows an appalling lack of judgement on your part.

OFF WITH YOUR HEADS! BOTH OF THEM!

I must say that I am a bit taken aback by your hasty eagerness to pose for your official office portrait. It does seem a bit unseemly for a Lord High Executioner to wrap himself so gleefully in such flamboyant trappings. No doubt you are looking forward to making your mark on the necks of many future transgressors.

[TampaYankee]

Does this mean I'm no longer Lord High Executioner?

So what shall I tell Eric, my new headsman?

Hmmm...

Eric, sweetie, I think Mr. TY wants to see you this afternoon. Don't forget to take your best axe.

Sadly it does.

lookin's Shermanesque refusal to accept office has resulted in the still-birth of that germ of a proposal to realize a 'private' process for hearing comity complaints. It was sort of a package deal. Pitty too as I see you are ready with your scepter of justice to mete out discipline as needed to straying villagers. I must compliment you on your choice of a more practical wardrobe for the day-to-day exercise of the office. I am without doubt that you would have made a great Lord High Executioner.

[AdamSmith]

you would have made a great Lord High Executioner.

Right up there with the best...

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=T83W3rgQuXQ&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DT83W3rgQuXQ

[lookin]

I apologize for concentrating solely on the fun part of this thread, as I didn't realize how important this issue is for some posters, as well as for TY and OZ. Thank you all for thinking this through and sharing your thoughts and solutions. It also got me thinking about what I'd do if I got into a dustup with a poster here.

My first inclination would be to ignore him. Not put him on ignore, but just not engage him on the Board. If the person had some redeeming features, it's possible I'd send a PM to figure out if a rapprochement were in the cards. But if I got back a rude response, I'd be done. If it seemed threatening, I'd probably forward it to OZ and TY so they knew who they had on the Board. But I wouldn't ask them to ban the poster or take any action on my behalf. I'd just never engage the person again.

I hope we continue to keep our social skills on an upward arc and resolve our differences ourselves. It would be a shame to harsh TY's mellow or interfere with OZ's continuing Search for Enlightenment.

[Guest twinklover]

I like TY's comment: "we just forget the whole thing, continue to enforce bright line infractions and leave it to the each to deal with his neighbors, with Management dispensing a dose of discipline about civility as needed." Unless some truly exceptional case presented itself, forum members voting to discipline others is bound to lead to even more acrimony. TO and TY should deal with the issue first on the boards with a warning and then with further action, preferably taken privately, such as a suspension or ban communicated to the poster.

[Lucky]

We all know and like TY and TO. In the past, they have known when to chop a head or give a stern warning. Maybe they don't want the job, but they can do it with many fewer rules and committees. If we start with a pledge of respect and courtesy to each other on the board, why not just go forth with that, and leave the admins the heavy lifting, which we hope will never happen.

[Guest hitoallusa]

Oh my MsGuy you are into shoes too. I love those shoes!

TY, darling, proposing moi as Lord High Executioner shows an appalling lack of judgement on your part.

OFF WITH YOUR HEADS! BOTH OF THEM!

[AdamSmith]

Oh my MsGuy you are into shoes too.

Precaution against tapeworms, down South here.

[Guest lurkerspeaks]

I offer another solution to the problems encountered here.....

[MsGuy]

Precaution against tapeworms, down South here.

Actually, shoes protect against hook worms, AS.

PS I think the first great public health campaign sponsored by the Rockefeller Foundation was a South wide effort to worm adults and kids. Seems that the Yankees had come to the conclusion that one reason their wage slaves in the South were so lackadaisical in their work habits was chronic & heavy parasitic load.

PPS LOL, the origin of the phrase 'wormy bastard'.

PPPS

If God had wanted us to have indoor shitters, why did he make corn cobs?

[Lucky]

Where are the minds here going? Scat, farts, and stupid butt jokes. Is this the kind of website you really want?

[MsGuy]

Couldn't agree more, Lucky.

Please note it was AS and Lurker who started it (as usual).

However I have to point out my own post is redeemed by its scientific, historical, literary and theological value.

[AdamSmith]

Is this the kind of website you really want?

Certainly not!

I for one have invested countless hours over the past 7 years 11 months in making this the kind of website I would NEVER want.

Something must be working. Oz pays my invoices without question.

[Lucky]

Well, you and lookin can keep your inside jokes and leave others scratching their heads, but the site won't grow with posts from others as long as people see it as a closed club. You obviously have a lot of time on your hands, and we know you're smart, so why not come up with some more challenging material that invites a larger participation? Lookin might even give you some more "likes."

There have been 45 members online so far today, and only Santiago, Chile got a thread. Yes, I know, we have some nice pix of naked guys too, but, with those, you look and move on. Threads that keep people talking are the ones that will keep people coming.

[lookin]

Good gosh! I never stopped to think that my little posts might be bringing down the Board. Sincere apologies to Lucky and to any others who were similarly put off. As it turns out, December is shaping up to be a fairly busy month, so I'll be just an occasional lurker for the next little while anyway. Can't wait to check back after the holidays and see what you've done with the place!

[Lucky]

I love a thin-skinned person as much as the next guy. In case you will be traveling for the holidays, maybe you could pick up a copy of this:

[mvan1]

Good gosh! I never stopped to think that my little posts might be bringing down the Board. Sincere apologies to Lucky and to any others who were similarly put off. As it turns out, December is shaping up to be a fairly busy month, so I'll be just an occasional lurker for the next little while anyway. Can't wait to check back after the holidays and see what you've done with the place!

There is no need for you to apologize for anything - you have done nothing wrong.

Certainly, you should not stay away as you said you plan to do.

If someone does not like what you post, just remember what Aesop wrote, "Please all and you will please none."

I like your posts and I find them very entertaining.

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