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AdamSmith

Fart Filtering Underwear

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Thoughts On the Utter Unpredictability of Life

Under the great arc of heaven, with all the diverse drama of the universe above us and all the particularity of this amazing world around us to capture our attention, who could have foreseen that a simple thread on Fart Filtering Underwear would have lasted so long or have accumulated so many posts.

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Well, Aristophanes probably could have foreseen it and, if Wikipedia is to be believed, so could Seneca, here satirizing the Emperor Claudius:

When he had made a great noise with that end of him which talked easiest, he cried out, "Oh dear, oh dear! I think I have made a mess of myself."

My guess would be that our preoccupation with crepitation began pretty early on, probably right after we discovered that it annoyed others. :rolleyes:

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Don't tell me it was the volcano!

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DNA From Toilet Helps Police Catch Alleged Burglar

AP 10/29/14 08:13 PM ET

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. (AP) Police in Albuquerque say a man suspected of a $250,000 heist should have flushed the evidence he left behind.

KOAT-TV reports (http://goo.gl/V3OmEg ) investigators tied Ramon Herrera to the September burglary using DNA left on a toilet. Police say the 33-year-old relieved himself while taking $250,000 worth of jewelry from a home while the owners were on vacation, but he didn't flush.

Police say Herrera also took a Coke from the fridge, drank it and left the can along with his DNA.

Investigators say DNA from the can and toilet was matched to Herrera. He was recently arrested and booked into the Bernalillo County jail.

Herrera has pleaded not guilty to charges of residential burglary and larceny over $20,000.

It's not known if he has an attorney who could be reached for comment.

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/6071882?cps=gravity

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Not a joke at all if you have one!

How to Stop Stinky Dog Farts

Urgh! What's that smell? Did it just come out of the dog? Gross! We've been blaming rotten smells on the dog for many years, but what can you do if you've got a legitimate problem with dog farts?

Cont. at: http://www.petguide.com/health/dog/how-to-stop-stinky-dog-farts/

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A Man Tried To Vacuum His Own Farts And Paid For It With His Sphincter

http://uproxx.com/webculture/2014/11/fart-vacuum/

I couldn't find this on Snopes but something tells me it should be. Unless this guy has a very flat ass, how could he get a vacuum seal good enough to rip out his insides? Maybe he used a silicone rub, but that stuff doesn't exactly smell like roses either. stink.gif

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In all honesty though, I personally brought the other end of my alimentary canal to grief when I was a kid alone one day with our new Lewyt. I damn near pulled my tongue out of its socket. :rolleyes:

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very_long_tongue_03.jpg

Who says America doesn't have talent. Top that, China!

----

Besides I just noticed that we here at BoyToy have managed to gin up 194 posts in a thread about fart filtering underwear. Does anyone know how to contact Guinness Book of Records?

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I don't know about flat asses but there is a story about a fat lady on board a ship who, suffering a sudden urge, hops out of the shower and sits on the vacuum toilet, flushes it and is stuck there until her husband (when he quits laughing) rescues her. ^_^

Best regards,

RA1

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I don't disagree. Seems strange to say, urban legend at sea, although the meaning is perfectly clear. :smile:

Would like to meet the guy with the tongue. ^_^

Best regards,

RA1

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I think you are confusing Suburban Assault Vehicles (SUV's) with Very Large Party Boats (with dancing). ^_^

The recent bout and perhaps continuing bout with infection among pax notwithstanding, cruise ships are an excellent way to get away from it all. One simply brings it with. And, then, is away from all else. ^_^

There is no doubt there is dreariness with the same old ports and the same old sights to see and the same old excursions on shore but that is mostly a mental limitation. After I have seen a port several times, I simply stay on board and enjoy the (included) food and entertainment the price of the cruise offered (presents).

Just enjoying looking at the flat horizon at sea + the sea breeze + no cares or worries seems about enough for me at least for a few days. ^_^

Best regards,

RA1

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