The Daddy Dummies

[Guest NCBored]

I'm sorry I offended you. My comments were not attacks on the board but an expression of disagreement with some posters.

I believe both sites have different strengths & I'd like them both to prosper.

The comment on negativity was not directed at TotallyOz's single post but the number of threads & posts criticizing or attacking someone or something, especially on a personal basis. I'm not the only one to comment on negative/nasty posts. I stand by my opinion that they are more frequent in the past year.

TO & I have exchanged some private messages and I think we understand each other (better, at least).

Again, I'm sorry if I offended you, but these are my opinions.

Maybe it's time for me to take a break.

[marcanthony]

Maybe it's time for me to take a break.

NC Bored:

Nah... that would add to the problem. Your contributions to the board have always been steady and valuable. Taking a break won't help the board, and it might make you more... well..."bored" lol. Hope you don't let this one episode dampen your enthusiasm.

[TampaYankee]

I'm sorry I offended you. My comments were not attacks on the board but an expression of disagreement with some posters.

I believe both sites have different strengths & I'd like them both to prosper.

The comment on negativity was not directed at TotallyOz's single post but the number of threads & posts criticizing or attacking someone or something, especially on a personal basis. I'm not the only one to comment on negative/nasty posts. I stand by my opinion that they are more frequent in the past year.

TO & I have exchanged some private messages and I think we understand each other (better, at least).

Again, I'm sorry if I offended you, but these are my opinions.

Maybe it's time for me to take a break.

NCBored,

I was really disappointed rather than offended and edited my post to reflect that. As you have elaborated, yes I see what you are talking about.

Each of us is responsible for our own behavior. Sometimes people go overboard and share their opinions in a manner that some find offensive. If that is all they have to offer the community it is better for them to move on.

On the otherhand. we have good contibutors who sometimes manage to offend others some of the time. How to manage a diverse community of contributors and readers and where to draw lines is not an easy task. We publish policies to establish hard bounds on behavior. These are easy to determine, IMO anyway -- stalking, agendas, personal information violations.

The softer issues of what consitutes offensive behavior depends on the eye of the beholder as to how often, how egregious and what offensiveness warrants the death penalty. Different people have different tolerances.

We as admins err in the direction of inclusivity because we feel that makes a richer more interactive community, as long as we have primarliy positive or neutral contributors. We cannot manage the community for the most sensitive only. People have to make their own decisions and manage their own interactions. That is why we have the IGNORE BUTTON. It is a very useful tool. Each member has the capability to tailor the community participants to their individual personality and temperment -- exactly what some often ask the admins to do. What better way to empower individual members to shape the community they want to participant in? That should be able to make everyone happy.

A final thought. We certainly do not need a break from you. Please reconsider.

You raised a good point once I was able to see and appreciate your perspective. It gave me an opportunity to inform others, who have grown weary of some exchanges, how to shape the community to their tastes and sensitivities. We want this community to be what everyone would like it to be. Admin tries to keep capitol offenders out. Members have to choose their neighbors they wish to interact just as in our home neighborhoods.

[TotallyOz]

Since I first saw this post, I have been stretching my mind, using both cylinders, trying to think of a time when Oz might have had a public disagreement with someone. I can't come up with one!

Perhaps I should have said a very heated exchange?

TO & I have exchanged some private messages and I think we understand each other (better, at least)

Maybe it's time for me to take a break.

We did chat and all is well with us.

Take a break? No, don't let disagreements cause you to take a break. If I were you, I'd post even more just to show everyone you refuse to get into a "disagreement" with an asshole and let him drive you away.

Taking a break won't help the board, and it might make you more... well..."bored" lol. Hope you don't let this one episode dampen your enthusiasm.

Good one! too "bored"

NCBored,

I was really disappointed rather than offended and edited my post to reflect that. As you have elaborated, yes I see what you are talking about.

Each of us is responsible for our own behavior. Sometimes people go overboard and share their opinions in a manner that some find offensive. If that is all they have to offer the community it is better for them to move on.

On the otherhand. we have good contibutors who sometimes manage to offend others some of the time. How to manage a diverse community of contributors and readers and where to draw lines is not an easy task. We publish policies to establish hard bounds on behavior. These are easy to determine, IMO anyway -- stalking, agendas, personal information violations.

The softer issues of what consitutes offensive behavior depends on the eye of the beholder as to how often, how egregious and what offensiveness warrants the death penalty. Different people have different tolerances.

We as admins err in the direction of inclusivity because we feel that makes a richer more interactive community, as long as we have primarliy positive or neutral contributors. We cannot manage the community for the most sensitive only. People have to make their own decisions and manage their own interactions. That is why we have the IGNORE BUTTON. It is a very useful tool. Each member has the capability to tailor the community participants to their individual personality and temperment -- exactly what some often ask the admins to do. What better way to empower individual members to shape the community they want to participant in? That should be able to make everyone happy.

TY has always been the voice of reason for the admins. I listen to him and I learn. Without him, most likely I'd be more like a wild child running naked in the candy store.

[Guest lurkerspeaks]

But Oz, when you have several of your "regular" posters all having issues with the same person and the negativity he brings to the board, is it still the individual poster's responsibility to "ignore" the problem or should the admin step in and address the issue with the offending person? Like you stated above, "Members have to choose their neighbors they wish to interact with just as in our home neighborhoods." And when that same "bad neighbor" causes several people to change from "full time residents" to part time residents", how long until he runs off more people? Full timers become part timers.. Part timers disappear all together..

I am a firm believer in the three strikes rule.. First offense, you get a verbal warning. Second offense, a more stern warning. After three repeated offenses for the same thing, you get shown the door..

[RA1]

NCBored-

My skin is as thin as any poster's on this site but I hate to think about banishment or leaving. Me or anyone else. Talking always helps, if not to resolve the issue, then to understand it a bit more.

I like the three strikes rule.

Best regards,

RA1

[citylaw1]

That is something one can hang his hat on

Yes, straw hat and overalls

[citylaw1]

But Oz, when you have several of your "regular" posters all having issues with the same person and the negativity he brings to the board, is it still the individual poster's responsibility to "ignore" the problem or should the admin step in and address the issue with the offending person? Like you stated above, "Members have to choose their neighbors they wish to interact with just as in our home neighborhoods." And when that same "bad neighbor" causes several people to change from "full time residents" to part time residents", how long until he runs off more people? Full timers become part timers.. Part timers disappear all together..

I am a firm believer in the three strikes rule.. First offense, you get a verbal warning. Second offense, a more stern warning. After three repeated offenses for the same thing, you get shown the door..

I hope that this is not in reference to my little moniker?

[citylaw1]

I'm sorry I offended you. My comments were not attacks on the board but an expression of disagreement with some posters.

I believe both sites have different strengths & I'd like them both to prosper.

The comment on negativity was not directed at TotallyOz's single post but the number of threads & posts criticizing or attacking someone or something, especially on a personal basis. I'm not the only one to comment on negative/nasty posts. I stand by my opinion that they are more frequent in the past year.

TO & I have exchanged some private messages and I think we understand each other (better, at least).

Again, I'm sorry if I offended you, but these are my opinions.

Maybe it's time for me to take a break.

NC, I hope you come off the ledge. Nothing here is on a "personal basis," since we're all strangers, and typing, at least in my case, in our underwear via an anonymous moniker. I wouldn't let threads upset you. Simply read the ones that interest you. Life is too short for this to be an issue given any thought. Please accept my warm cyber hug

[Guest justme1369]

Never could understand why anyone would take any of this crap personally.

If you don't like or are offended by what somebody posts...move on don't read it...duh.

[MsGuy]

, I have been stretching my mind, using both cylinders, trying to think of a time when Oz might have had a public disagreement with someone. I can't come up with one!.

Seems to me three or four years ago there was some ex-(marine/special forces/ranger?) type from the Maryland/D.C area who started putting up some racist posts. I think TY and maybe Oz told him to stop it , he got mouthy about his right to say whatever crap he wanted and Oz slapped him with a lengthy (?) time out. As I recall it, Oz wound up being pretty blunt about not having racist shit on his site.

If I recall rightly, Oz was fairly transparent about the whole kerfuffle. Afterwards he posted an explanation of what had happened, what steps he (and TY?) had taken to try to calm the guy down, why the issue of racism on the site was important to him personally and why he finally decided to close the guy out.

LOL, does that qualify as a public disagreement?

[lookin]

LOL, does that qualify as a public disagreement?

Sounds like it was right up there.

[Guest hitoallusa]

Oh my MsGuy, I am relieved that you are fine since you seem to remember what has happened even three and four years ago.. You are better than my Elle in Legally Blonde.. Love you!

Elle: My name is Elle Woods and for my admissions essay, I ' d like to tell all of you at Harvard why I' m going to make an amazing lawyer.

...Elle: I'm able to recall hundreds of important details at the drop of a hat.
Margot: Elle, do you know what happened on "Days of Our Lives" yesterday?
Elle: Why, yes, Margot, I do. Once again, we joined Hope in the search for her identity. As you know, she's been brainwashed by the evil Stefano.