Photoshop is Cher's best friend

[Guest EXPAT]

Cher released her two album covers yesterday. While she is 67 she certainly doesn't look it in these technological marvels called photoshop photographs. But more power to her. . .

[Guest lurkerspeaks]

The question should be... how much is photoshop, and how much is plastic surgery?

I say this as a Cher fan, She is closer to a barbie doll than she is a human being.

[Suckrates]

Stop all you HATERS..... Truth be told, don't we ALL wish we had a Best Friend named "Photoshop" ???

[Suckrates]

The question should be... how much is photoshop, and how much is plastic surgery?

I say this as a Cher fan, She is closer to a barbie doll than she is a human being.

And the problem with that IS ????? More interesting, why should it even bother you ????

[citylaw1]

A boy that I fondle in exchange for lavish vacations was lucky enough to be backstage at the NYC Pride event on the pier. He tells me that she looked great. His Facebook page nearly passed out from excitement as well.

[RA1]

Even though I think I know what you mean this sounds vaguely creepy.

Best regards,

RA1

[Suckrates]

A boy that I fondle in exchange for lavish vacations was lucky enough to be backstage at the NYC Pride event on the pier. He tells me that she looked great. His Facebook page nearly passed out from excitement as well.

Lavish vacations ? A trip to City Island in the Bronx for the ALL YOU CAN EAT seafood buffet ???? I'm IN !

[Guest hitoallusa]

Oh my Suckrates I didn't know you love seafood!!! I can cook a variety of seafood for you. What is your favorite?? Please don't say c***...

[TampaYankee]

Stop all you HATERS..... Truth be told, don't we ALL wish we had a Best Friend named "Photoshop" ???

Sadly only a time machine would help me.

[RA1]

A time machine might help my self image but not necessarily my "real" image.

Best regards,

RA1

[Guest EXPAT]

Original photo shoot before photoshop. She looks pretty good.

[Guest hitoallusa]

Oh my she is so pretty for her age..

[citylaw1]

Lavish vacations ? A trip to City Island in the Bronx for the ALL YOU CAN EAT seafood buffet ???? I'm IN !

I've only been to City Island once. It was actually with my ex, and we ate at some (very popular) outdoor restaurant. It really wasn't for me. The entire atmosphere felt more like (what I imagine) a rap concert.

As for our vacations together, the young man is from Ft Lauderdale. We've traveled to Miami, Maui, Rome, and, of course we've spent time together in NYC and Ft Lauderdale as well.

Julien hates seafood, and the Bronx is for baseball.

Update: We actually ate here: http://www.johnnysreefrestaurant.com/Johnnys_Reef/Welcome.html

[citylaw1]

Even though I think I know what you mean this sounds vaguely creepy.

Best regards,

RA1

I imagine you're referring to my "fondling the boy" comment? Perhaps if I was sipping tea with my lovely, elderly neighbor, I would have phrased it differently. Given the nature of this site and its content, I figured I had a little extra room.

The name of the site is "Boy Toy" for heaven's sake.

[Guest EXPAT]

A gay man's review of Cher's new album coming Tuesday, September 24th:

Cher: Closer To The Truth

Oh lord, someone’s given our editor the new Cher album...

You can keep your Britney, your Gaga and your *looks at notes* Katy Perry – Cher’s my gay Kryptonite. I make no apologies, it’s how it’s always been. It’s how it SHOULD be. I’ve been right there alongside countless reincarnations, endless albums and career turns. Although somehow she does seem to have turned back time and the diva looks younger than me.

But no matter. I’ve waited patiently over a decade for new music from my diva and this weekend, finally, I got to listen to her 26th studio album, Closer To The Truth.

It’s fair enough to say I’m pretty obsessed with it as I’ve had it on repeat for three days now. So please indulge this over-excited editor with a track-by-track review.

WOMANS WORLD
You’ve heard it. You probably heard it a year ago when it first leaked. Although it probably isn’t fairly setting up how brilliant the rest of the album is, the theme of empowerment, heartbreak and having a bit of dance to get over how much of a bastard men are gives you an idea where we’re going. Tell the truth.

TAKE IT LIKE A MAN
A collaboration with Jake Shears – not that we’re saying that’s why it’s quite as gay as it is. It feels very 90s. Vocoder. Like if Toca’s Miracle and Believe had a baby. Brilliant fade out.

MY LOVE
You think it’s going to be a ballad, but it builds. And then, despite being wonderfully melancholy, it all gets a bit poppers o’clock. “You are not alone, ‘cause I’ve found a place where you can belong. You can be my love.”

DRESSED TO KILL
AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING. A cover of Preston’s 2009 single. More dance, more vocoder. More clubbing and dancing in the dark. “How can you resist when baby I am dressed to kill?” You’ll be singing along in seconds because this is actually BRILLIANT. Drag queens are going to be losing their shit. Someone needs to get Cher performing this on either Strictly or X Factor by the end of the year.

RED
My favourite song on the album. More tears on the dancefloor as Red is fabulously angry and sad. “You were my obsession, every night and every day, so when we fell apart the blue was more than I could take.” Again, the drag queens are going to love it.

LOVERS FOREVER
Still dance but feels a step down from the previous five. It somehow feels a little older. Perhaps because this was originally written for the Interview With a Vampire soundtrack, which makes more sense when you listen to the lyrics. But it almost immediately feels like a track from a movie. And if you take the vampirism of the lyrics into account, there’s quite a lot of talk about blood on the album. Just putting that out there.

I WALK ALONE
Co-written by Pink, this is absolutely brilliant. More heartbreak, but this time set to banjo dance. Wonderful. Contender for second best song on the album. Or maybe that’s Dressed To Kill? OH GOD I CAN’T STOP SINGING ALONG
“And there’s an anger, as I get closer to the truth…”

SIRENS
Your actual Cher rock ballad. Her voice is beautiful. A cover of the Nell Bryden track.

FAVOURITE SCARS
A mid-tempo number that shows off her vocals. Again I was singing along by the second chorus.

I HOPE YOU FIND IT
Another slow number. Classic Cher. So bloody sad. And a Miley Cyrus cover, of all things.

LIE TO ME
Again slow, again beautiful. Written by Pink.

I DON’T HAVE TO SLEEP TO DREAM
One of the bonus tracks, taking the album back to uptempo (if you’re not being cheap and just buying the standard edition). Again this feels like we’re going back to 90s dance (in a good way) and more dancing with your hands up, like you don’t care. Produced by Timbaland.

PRIDE
You’ll probably hear this at events every summer from now on, and at first I wasn’t really ‘feeling’ it. But then, yes, I was singing along. Reminds me a bit of Cyndi Lauper’s Shine.

YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE LAST OF ME
Burlesque moment. It’s the standard ‘stop-the-movie-for-my-solo’ version. Which, obviously, is brilliant.


In short, it’s a fantastic, if long-overdue, return from one of the greatest singers of our time. You may think I’m biased. You may be right (although I certainly wasn’t singing along to Not.com.mercial after two listens) but Cher’s back, back, back! and Closer To The Truth is the best new album I’ve heard all year. Follow this, bitches.

5/5