Take a look at Gay Porto Alegre

[TotallyOz]

We have now completed the Gay Porto Alegre area of the site. The listings are also in the forum area called City Guides.

We hope this helps some of you that want to visit this amazing to better understand the city and make good choices.

If we left off major things that you want to see, please let me know and we'll add them.

http://gayportoalegre.boytoy.com/

[BiBottomBoy]

Looks good.

[Lucky]

I see you have gone back to using terms like "fag-friendly" to "cuten" up your articles. They turn me off instead.

I'll bet a lot of those skin-headed Russians also see themselves as "fag friendly." They haven't met one they would ignore!

[Guest EXPAT]

I haven't read it yet but if you in fact did use the term "fag-friendly", it will stop me from reading right there. I can't stand that word in any context.

[TotallyOz]

The articles were written over a year ago before some guys had a melt down over the word fag and queer. I wonder if gay is next?

[AdamSmith]

gay (adj.) late 14c., "full of joy, merry; light-hearted, carefree;" also "wanton, lewd, lascivious" (late 12c. as a surname, Philippus de Gay), from Old French gai "joyful, happy; pleasant, agreeably charming; forward, pert" (12c.; cf. Old Spanish gayo, Portuguese gaio, Italian gajo, probably French loan-words). Ultimate origin disputed; perhaps from Frankish *gahi (cf. Old High German wahi "pretty"), though not all etymologists accept this. Meaning "stately and beautiful; splendid and showily dressed" is from early 14c. The word gay by the 1890s had an overall tinge of promiscuity -- a gay house was a brothel. The suggestion of immorality in the word can be traced back at least to the 1630s, if not to Chaucer:

But in oure bed he was so fressh and gay

Whan that he wolde han my bele chose.

Slang meaning "homosexual" (adj.) begins to appear in psychological writing late 1940s, evidently picked up from gay slang and not always easily distinguished from the older sense:

After discharge A.Z. lived for some time at home. He was not happy at the farm and went to a Western city where he associated with a homosexual crowd, being "gay," and wearing female clothes and makeup. He always wished others would make advances to him. ["Rorschach Research Exchange and Journal of Projective Techniques," 1947, p.240]

The association with (male) homosexuality likely got a boost from the term gay cat, used as far back as 1893 in American English for "young hobo," one who is new on the road, also one who sometimes does jobs.

"A Gay Cat," said he, "is a loafing laborer, who works maybe a week, gets his wages and vagabonds about hunting for another 'pick and shovel' job. Do you want to know where they got their monica (nickname) 'Gay Cat'? See, Kid, cats sneak about and scratch immediately after chumming with you and then get gay (fresh). That's why we call them 'Gay Cats'." [Leon Ray Livingston ("America's Most Celebrated Tramp"), "Life and Adventures of A-no. 1," 1910]

Quoting a tramp named Frenchy, who might not have known the origin. Gay cats were severely and cruelly abused by "real" tramps and bums, who considered them "an inferior order of beings who begs of and otherwise preys upon the bum -- as it were a jackal following up the king of beasts" [Prof. John J. McCook, "Tramps," in "The Public Treatment of Pauperism," 1893], but some accounts report certain older tramps would dominate a gay cat and employ him as a sort of slave. In "Sociology and Social Research" (1932-33) a paragraph on the "gay cat" phenomenon notes, "Homosexual practices are more common than rare in this group," and gey cat "homosexual boy" is attested in N. Erskine's 1933 dictionary of "Underworld & Prison Slang" (gey is a Scottish variant of gay).

The "Dictionary of American Slang" reports that gay (adj.) was used by homosexuals, among themselves, in this sense since at least 1920. Rawson ["Wicked Words"] notes a male prostitute using gay in reference to male homosexuals (but also to female prostitutes) in London's notorious Cleveland Street Scandal of 1889. Ayto ["20th Century Words"] calls attention to the ambiguous use of the word in the 1868 song "The Gay Young Clerk in the Dry Goods Store," by U.S. female impersonator Will S. Hays, but the word evidently was not popularly felt in this sense by wider society until the 1950s at the earliest.

"Gay" (or "gai") is now widely used in French, Dutch, Danish, Japanese, Swedish, and Catalan with the same sense as the English. It is coming into use in Germany and among the English-speaking upper classes of many cosmopolitan areas in other countries. [John Boswell, "Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality," 1980]

Gay as a noun meaning "a (usually male) homosexual" is attested from 1971; in Middle English it meant "excellent person, noble lady, gallant knight," also "something gay or bright; an ornament or badge" (c.1400). As a slang word meaning "bad, inferior, undesirable," from 2000.

http://etymonline.com/?term=gay

[Lucky]

The articles were written over a year ago before some guys had a melt down over the word fag and queer. I wonder if gay is next?

Oz, such an inappropriate response, and that from a guy who allegedly is getting laid with regularity. You sound more like a Palm Springs queen who hasn't seen his dick squirt since the visit to the proctologist,.

"Some guys" did NOT have a "meltdown." They simply stood up to your juvenile use of words that have long since been relegated to the dustbins of inequity as "bad" words. But, you, and the ever-wouldbe-youthful Mr. Smith, want to appear young and hip, and hope that by doing so, many people will read the articles you publish- for free!

But worry not about the word "gay." It is in its heyday, so to speak. Even the Supreme Court had to familiarize itself with it. Now how cool is that? So, yes, by all means, use the word gay, but avoid the words that haters have used for centuries, the ones the Westboro Baptists have adopted as their anthem, and the one most commonly used in gay bashings through the world. That would be really cool. And no one would say that you had a meltdown, whatever that is.

[ihpguy]

I am a fag. And usually friendly. So there.

Not that you need defending. But my thanks Oz for all that you do.

And fuck these twits or (maybe with) tight-assed twats if they cannot take a joke.

[Lucky]

Yeah, really! Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke! Twits!

The Brutal Brooklyn Gay Bashing Of Barie Shortell

Full story here: http://www.queerty.com/the-brutal-brooklyn-gay-bashing-of-barie-shortell-20110316/#ixzz2bEMNKW7j

[Lucky]

Really IHop guy, fuck these twits who can't take a joke! Fuckin' fags! DIE FAG!

Hate Murder Victim Charlie Howard’s Memorial Desecrated, Rededicated

Charlie Howard Memorial desecration, prior to refurbishment

Bangor, Maine – Two weeks ago, unknown vandals spray-painted “Die Fag” on a memorial to hate crime murder victim Charles O. “Charlie” Howard. On Saturday, 75 people gathered to rededicate the newly cleaned and restored memorial beside the State Street Bridge in downtown Bangor, the site where 23-year-old Charlie was thrown to his death into the Kenduskeag Stream below. Howard’s death by drowning at the hands of three youths from respected Bangor families shocked the town in July 1984. For twenty years controversy raged over whether and how to memorialize the young gay man’s death. Finally, in 2009, a tasteful, unassuming granite memorial was erected at the State Street Bridge site. The Howard Memorial is the focal point of a small ornamental garden featuring tulips, hollyhocks, magnolia bushes, lilacs, cosmos and crabapple trees. Local and state social justice advocates made the murder of Charlie Howard a celebrated cause, bringing about the forerunner organization to today’s Equality Maine, and giving impetus to the drive for marriage equality for same-sex couples in recent years. His death pricked the conscience of Mainers in a way that has proved more productive for practical human rights advances in New England than the more well-known story of Matthew Shepard’s murder has ever effected in Wyoming and the Mountain West. The Bangor Daily News reports that local residents were repulsed by the recent act of hate and vandalism. Margaret “Miki” Macdonald, who lives in the neighborhood of the memorial, had gone to care for the flowers and weed the plot around the Howard Memorial as she had often done in the last two years, when she saw the angry words painted across the dedicatory plaque. As Macdonald told the Daily News, “At first I couldn’t even read what it said. I wasn’t sure if it was writing or just some random lines. Then when I saw what it said, I said, ‘God, that’s pathetic. How ridiculous for someone to do this.’ Just seeing that was disgusting.” The act of desecration spurred local and state church and advocacy groups to action. If the perpetrators, who are still at large, intended to scare the local populace and the LGBTQ community, they failed miserably. Now, in light of the community energy to remember and honor Charlie Howard, Macdonald says she can see something good coming out of the ugliness. “Actually, having something so offensive like that happen to the memorial made all these people regroup, and I think it’s rekindled our intention to encourage tolerance in our community,” she explained to Daily News staff reporter, Andrew Neff. “So in a way, it’s a good thing.” Diversity Day, observed annually in Bangor on Charlie Howard’s birthday, July 7, was established to promote acceptance of a whole range of human differences. This year, the words carved into the stone of his memorial will take on refreshed meaning: “May we, the citizens of Bangor, continue to change the world around us until hatred becomes peacemaking and ignorance becomes understanding.”

[Guest lurkerspeaks]

PREFACE--- a certain word used in this post is not part of my normal vocabulary and is used to show a point. Please excuse me if I offend anyone by its use---

If you were writing an article about gay life in South Africa, would it be ok to use the term Nigger? That word is highly offensive to some if not most people of color, and the term FAG is equally offensive to some gay men. Both words were spread by people trying to denigrate others.

Like the "N" word, "fag" may be used amongst friends when there is a close, mutual understanding of the relationship.. But to use it casually with people you don't know on a personal level is, IMHO, insulting and rude.

[TotallyOz]

Oz, such an inappropriate response, and that from a guy who allegedly is getting laid with regularity. You sound more like a Palm Springs queen who hasn't seen his dick squirt since the visit to the proctologist,.

I hate and despise the word Queen. I find that offensive and distasteful. I find that gay men that use that word try to relate all of us proper gay men to ladies in waiting. I am not a lady. I am a man. Using this horrendous word just makes the world think we are all ladies born into male bodies. It is taking gay rights back decades. I am appalled when this word keeps getting used. Please, please lucky, don't equate me or others with such disdain. We are as worthy and as valued as anyone else.

[TotallyOz]

Yeah, really! Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke! Twits!

This was not a joke. It was a hate based crime. How does it relate to someone that is gay and saying they are OK with the word Fag, Queer, etc?

Do you believe that if we stopped using the N word, that hate based crimes would stop? Many blacks use that word often and among friends. Are racist crimes today because they use this word themselves?

If you believe either of the above, I would disagree, but I would be willing to listen.

[TotallyOz]

When I lived in NYC, I use to go to the clubs and bars often, almost nightly as my BF was a drag queen and we loved drag shows.

One of my favorite nights in NYC for years was Faggot Feud at Blu Bar. It was a hosted competition between 2 groups of guys. We had Campus guys there several times. Other groups would be the softball teams, dykes on bikes, etc. The teams of 5 each competed in a nice game of family feud but the questions were all gay related. The place was packed nightly. And, it was a blast.

Not once did I ever question the use of the term Faggot Feud but this was 15 years ago. Looking back, I don't think anyone did. But, I know that event takes place in Portland and Seattle from time to time as I often get the questions and am asked to give answers for it.

Again, I am not advocating the use of the word fag. But, I do believe that one must consider context.

[Lucky]

This topic is not about what two individuals choose to call each other in private conversation. It is about the website officially calling its members fags in its travel guides. I am not alone in finding that offensive. We discussed all of this last year and I was led to believe that Oz had come to understand why many of us did not like the use of the word. i also understood it would be removed from the guides.

Now, a year later, it is not removed from the guides, and Oz claims that those of us protesting the use of the word are now having a "meltdown." A far cry from his purported understanding of a year ago, and his concern expressed in another thread about an individual's goodwill in using the word faggot.

It's time Oz followed through, removed the word from the guide and from any official use by the website. To diminish the members who object to the word simply tells us we are not wanted here.

Yes, firecat, I know.

[TotallyOz]

We discussed all of this last year and I was led to believe that Oz had come to understand why many of us did not like the use of the word.

Can you give me the link to the discussion LAST year? Notice, I said last year as that is what you stated.

And, you are insulted by the use of the word meltdown. I didn't have a meltdown. You did. I quote: "As the person who stated his opposition to the word fag being used in an article on this site, I find it insulting that my reaction is now being put to a vote. Thank you for allowing me to post on this site, but my retirement is effective now."

The meltdown I was referring to was you leaving the site. You may not consider that a meltdown, but I did.

After a lengthy discussion, I said: "OK. You all have convinced me that it is offensive to some and thus, it is removed from my vocabulary for this site."

Now, you may have taken that to mean that I would go back to over 90 articles I have written for the site and have my programmers make edits to them immediately, but you were mistake in that thought. It is not as easy as you suggest and it takes time and man hours to accomplish this.

However, once again, can you refer me to a post where I said that I would edit all the city guides that have been written?

If you can't show me that, or if you can't show me this discussion last year, admit you were mistaken and happy that I agree to your demands not to use the word in the future.

[ihpguy]

OZ, thanks for what you provide. I for one appreciate it. And to think that you would be unlucky enough to have do even more work for ungrateful POS's?

[TotallyOz]

OZ, thanks for what you provide. I for one appreciate it.

Thank you very much. I very much appreciate that.

I know from years of doing this that I will ruffle some feathers along the way. I have come to accept that I can't please everyone all the time. For this issue, many of these articles have been on this site since 2012 and some before and perhaps people just didn't read them. I understand that as well. But, I guess I don't understand the tone for an article that has been here for over a year now getting anyone upset.

In fact, I re-posted the article here in Jan:

http://www.boytoy.com/forums/index.php?/topic/12667-the-boy-toy-guide-to-porto-alegre-brazil-home-to-the-best-money-boy-sauna-on-earth/?hl=alegre

I guess my campy humor (my thoughts) didn't come across back then as no one mentioned the use of the word fag. But, be that as it may, this would have been easily resolved had someone kindly sent me a PM and said, "Oz, I do not like that word. It would be great if you would remove it from that article on Porto Alegre." I would have said OK. But, when I wake up to a bulldog attack, I tend to shut down. That is life I guess.

And, to you Mr. Ihpguy, who gave me the best city tour I have ever had in Rio, I want to apologize to you. As the day went on and I got tired, I am sure I uttered words like, "I am fucking exhausted." or "Jesus Christ, can we sit down yet." Or, perhaps even, "Mother Fucker, I want to get to the sauna by taxi."

If I offended your sensibility on that tour, before we got to the Meio Mundo Gentleman's club to talk and discuss "business" with the companions that were there, I apologize. (how is that for a kinder gentler Oz)

[AdamSmith]

But, you, and the ever-wouldbe-youthful Mr. Smith, want to appear young and hip,

Charming.

"An ad hominem (Latin for 'to the man' or 'to the person'^[1]), short for argumentum ad hominem, is an argument made personally against an opponent instead of against their argument.^[2]Ad hominem reasoning is normally described as an informal fallacy,^[3][4][5] more precisely an irrelevance.^[6]"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ad_hominem

[BiBottomBoy]

Personally I'm still mad at the Chicago Tribune for printing "Dewey Defeats Truman."

[ihpguy]

Mr. Smith,

You be careful with those words.

You might be unlucky calling someone a HomoInUm, besides fag, queer, cocksucker and fudgepacker.

Yours,

Mr. IHOP, aka FavelaDweller

[ihpguy]

To TotallyOz,

I had a great time on the tour with you. You never uttered anything like that. Honestly. All you said was that you were tired and that it was time to grab a taxi to Meio Mundo. The rest of the tour was done by taxi. Fortunately, the restored public urinals were closed that day so you didn't miss any get on your knees and get them dirty action. Ditto on the restored Hanging Gardens. Next time we can take the soon-to-open teleferico/cable-car about to the top of the Morro de Providencia favela from in back of Central. We'll have incredible views of the entire downtown and harbor areas. An offer one other on this site was unlucky enough not to accept.

Yours,

IHOP aka FavelaDweller

[wayout]

The issue brought up about using that word here on the forum is both interesting and important, speaking from my own personal viewpoint. This specific topic, and others that have been raised in the past, challenge me to think about some things that I may have not considered important or significant before.

I certainly can understand how a word can be much more significant to some than to others based on their own life experiences and/or other considerations. Perhaps my thinking would be much different if I had been harassed with words like fag, queer, queen, etc. But my reality is that it was never used towards me in such a way so I am perhaps more accepting of its use when not done in a hateful or pejorative manner.

Being used within a community such as ours here where there are shared common interests, again when used in an appropriate context, seems to me to be to be acceptable. I call many of my friends much worse things but because of the context and familiarity of one another, it is taken in the spirit in which it is intended. Perhaps in the written format of a forum there can be misunderstandings which makes the use of the word more delicate to manage, which we all know some have more tact than others. The whole use of the N word in the black community is not unsimilar to what is being discussed with many parallel examples and considerations. I don't believe that the use of the word or the tacit acceptance of it within the community gives any approval for others to use the word in a hateful or negative manner. One could even argue that its acceptance and use of the word dilutes its negative implications. The focus should be on the actions and thoughts behind those that use the word, not necessarily the word itself.

But because we are a community here in the forum, the respect Oz has demonstrated by listening and agreeing to stop using the word in the future is both laudable and hopefully appreciated. I don't think we should expect or require him to expunge the word from the history of the site. Unless someone else is willing to put in the time, effort and money to do so, I think what Oz has done (which is reasonable, respectful and appropriate to others points of views) should be graciously accepted.

Realize, however, that not all will share that view and others may in fact still choose to use that word as they see fit. And of course, others may respond accordingly. I don't think many of us would prefer the alternative which would be that we start banning words, which may have to include words such as fag, queen, queer and others. Ultimately, as we all know so well, if things are not handled in the way you like, find an alternative that better suits your sensibilities.

So I give kudos to Oz for his actions and thank him for being open to various views. I am sure it is not an easy thing to try to accommodate such a variety of viewpoints but overall I think he does an admirable job.

[RA1]

Personally I'm still mad at the Chicago Tribune for printing "Dewey Defeats Truman."

Why? Without that headline we would not have political humor. Wait. We have the present administration, the Congress and the 9 Supremes. Never mind.

Best regards,

RA1

[Lucky]

Can you give me the link to the discussion LAST year? Notice, I said last year as that is what you stated.

And, you are insulted by the use of the word meltdown. I didn't have a meltdown. You did. I quote: "As the person who stated his opposition to the word fag being used in an article on this site, I find it insulting that my reaction is now being put to a vote. Thank you for allowing me to post on this site, but my retirement is effective now."

The meltdown I was referring to was you leaving the site. You may not consider that a meltdown, but I did.

After a lengthy discussion, I said: "OK. You all have convinced me that it is offensive to some and thus, it is removed from my vocabulary for this site."

Now, you may have taken that to mean that I would go back to over 90 articles I have written for the site and have my programmers make edits to them immediately, but you were mistake in that thought. It is not as easy as you suggest and it takes time and man hours to accomplish this.

However, once again, can you refer me to a post where I said that I would edit all the city guides that have been written?

If you can't show me that, or if you can't show me this discussion last year, admit you were mistaken and happy that I agree to your demands not to use the word in the future.

Using the Word Fag in Articles and Stories on Boytoy

Posted by TotallyOz on 27 February 2013 - 09:12 AM in The Hooboy Pub: General Chat

OK. You all have convinced me that it is offensive to some and thus, it is removed from my vocabulary for this site.

******

So the discussion was in February. You said what you said, waited a few months, then started a new poll as if there had never been one. You finished the Porto Alegre travel guide, which gave you a great chance to remove the fag word from it. But you didn't. You posted it "on this site" and kept the word fag in it.

There is no doubt that many here are offended by the use of the word fag as a term to refer to our fellow posters. That doesn't bother you, despite what you wrote above. How quickly you forget, or how insincerely you speak. Had you spent enough (any?) time with victims of gay bashings, you might have some understanding of the hurt the word fag holds. I don't care what you call your friends in private conversation, but I don't want to be associated with a web site that casualy uses the word fag as though it has gained some acceptability. That much I at least owe to those who were called fag over and over while getting the shit kicked out of them.

I am well aware that it's your website, so have at it. Continue hurting these people for the fun of it.