What If Attractiveness Was Defined Differently?

[Lucky]

The Maxie Hamilton post got me thinking. Oz was wishing he was in LA so he could partake of Maxie's beauty, despite the fact that he is is in Thailand surrounded by the cutest of the cute Thai boys. Now, I am not picking on Oz, I understand just what he was saying. Not only is Maxie cute, but he seems to have a knack for enticing you to think he can get down and really dirty. I want him too.

We see posts all of the time about today's beauties, tomorrow's lustbuttons, and past stars. All of these are predicated on how beautiful we perceive the individual to be. And attraction is certainly what drives sex.

But most of us aren't heartthrob material and won't make these lists of beauties to be desired. So why do we continue to define attraction by beauty? Once you fuck, the attraction almost always deteriorates anyway. But if we defined attraction by a person's goodheartedness, that wouldn't happen. And face it: Wouldn't you rather be in a relationship with a person who has a good heart?

Too often we find that pretty boys are not worth the time we give them, not to mention the money. They can be vain, immature, narcissistic, and, once you have him, you have to keep worrying whether he will take the better offers that are bound to keep pouring in,. It can be such an insecure existence!

Instead, picture yourself with someone who's smart, talented, kind, thoughtful, and can be counted on on a rainy day. He won't take a hike when the going gets tough. He's yours! Okay, so he may not be Maxie Hamilton, but he's a keeper. That's the guy at the top of my attractiveness list. No matter how he looks.

[Guest NCBored]

Interesting topic, but how much control/influence do we have over what attracts us (especially sexually)?

Can we 're-define' our own attractions?

I tend to think that there are limits. You can cultivate an appreciation for certain qualities, to some extent, but I'm not certain you can overcome innate likes & dislikes entirely.

[Suckrates]

I think there might be a slight misunderstanding here. Certainly sex is driven by attraction, but that attraction may NOT always be defined as beauty. Personally, using the subject Maxie as an example, for me I think he has GREAT hair, and a tempting, desirable cock, but I wouldn't define him as a beautiful boy. Is he sexy ? SURE ! So of course, its the word Beauty that may need redefining, and the meaning of the word is as individual for us as the people it may be describing. It goes back to the word CHEMISTRY which is an innate, indescribable quality that attracts us to another person. It might even be the persons ODD or unique look which others wouldn't consider Beautiful. It may have nothing to do with looks at all. It may be a special, strong personality that dominates the attraction ? Who knows....it iS what it is, and as long as the 2 parties are on the same page, you really cares WHAT it is called ?

[TotallyOz]

I don't think going full guns blazing into a relationship is ever a good idea. There must be more than a cute face. But, what attracts Lucky and others is not what attracts me. I like a bad boy. The badder the better. I want to be able to have someone who will protect me should I ever need it and someone who can beat the shit out of anyone who fucks with me. OK, that has not happened too often but there have been a few cases.

With my current Thai boyfriend, he has been with me for 9 years. We were at a disco about 8 years back and were with a group of 4 other Thai boys and 4 or 5 ladyboys. We were all enjoying ourselves when some guys from the Middle East kept hitting on the ladyboys. The ladyboys were the lovers of the boys. They were out to have a good time together. I was tired of their constant oogling and flirtations so I put my hand on the chair beside me basically cutting them off from our table. They kept on. One of them pushed up against me to say something crude to one of the girls and I turned around and said, "Please don't push me and leave the ladies alone. They are with their dates." It was Pattaya, Thailand and the city is known for the working girls and boys but tonight, they were all off just relaxing.

I turned back around to my group and in less than one minute one of the guys behind me intentionally pushed up against me again. I started to stand and turn to face them. Before I could even stand up, the BF had broken his beer bottle, made his way over 3 of our group and had the bottle on the throat of the guy behind me. When the other boys saw this, they all did the same and the group had bottles ready to cut anyone who moved.

Security saw this across the vast Hollywood Disco and they were running over to the area. I told the guys that were causing trouble that they just fucked with the wrong group. I told them this was not their country and hitting on the guys girlfriends was a bad idea. I also told them to pay their bill and leave before they were in serious trouble. I told them there was no way to win this fight as the boys would win. The group of foreigners all looked around, and decided it was time to leave. They did. The boys were all ready to kill them for pushing into me so hard.

Sorry, long story, but that is the kind of thing that attracts me. Two of those boys are still with me to this day. The BF and the first guy behind him with another bottle.

While that may not be attraction based on looks, I think I did pretty well in picking hotties as well. Both are perfect for me. But, many of you would not find them attractive in the least.

Give me a guy with a big dick, a few tattoos, a gun in his pants and a fighting spirit, and I'm in love!

Give me a boring hot guy who is a great fuck but no personality, and I'll enjoy the fuck, but that is about it.

[RA1]

Please explain the difference between a guy with a big dick and a gun in his pants.

Best regards,

RA1

[TotallyOz]

Please explain the difference between a guy with a big dick and a gun in his pants.

Best regards,

RA1

LOL I want a guy that has an actual gun hidden behind his shirt and then a big dick on the front.

[RA1]

In times of "real" trouble, I might prefer the reverse. In other words, a big gun and I won't care as much about the size of his dick.

Best regards,

RA1

[TotallyOz]

In times of "real" trouble, I might prefer the reverse. In other words, a big gun and I won't care as much about the size of his dick.

Best regards,

RA1

My dear, what is the point of being saved if you can't have a good time at the end of the night?

[RA1]

At least you are there for another "round".

Best regards,

RA1

[Lucky]

So, in a way, the attractiveness of the boy was his usefulness to you; his ability to save you from a troublesome situation. Prettiness is not the only thing to look for as attractiveness encompasses a wide variety of attributes. The hottest guy in the room may not be the handsomest, but he is the most desirable. So why do we still define hotness by beauty alone?

[Suckrates]

Please explain the difference between a guy with a big dick and a gun in his pants.

Best regards,

RA1

Well the GUN will kill you, the big dick may just cause a little pain !

[Suckrates]

So, in a way, the attractiveness of the boy was his usefulness to you; his ability to save you from a troublesome situation. Prettiness is not the only thing to look for as attractiveness encompasses a wide variety of attributes. The hottest guy in the room may not be the handsomest, but he is the most desirable. So why do we still define hotness by beauty alone?

WHO is this "we" you are talking about that defines hotness by Beauty.? Several comments have been made in this thread that seem to dispel your claim.

[TotallyOz]

So, in a way, the attractiveness of the boy was his usefulness to you; his ability to save you from a troublesome situation. Prettiness is not the only thing to look for as attractiveness encompasses a wide variety of attributes. The hottest guy in the room may not be the handsomest, but he is the most desirable. So why do we still define hotness by beauty alone?

I was initially attracted to him because I thought he was "pretty". I thought he was a superstar looking guy. That is always enough to get me in bed a few times. But, there must be something more to keep us together. For this guy, it was his bad boy attitude. He has really mellowed over the years but he still loves to fight with others.

There are many guys I find attracted like the Bel Ami porn stars. Or, the guys in the saunas in Brazil. But, that is enough only to get me so far. I like and want a bit more.

As for the hottest guy in the room, I often find that is the one that has a pretty face but looks like he is a bit dangerous.

[Lucky]

WHO is this "we" you are talking about that defines hotness by Beauty.? Several comments have been made in this thread that seem to dispel your claim.

Exactly, which makes it hard to come to universal ideas. You have hit the mail on the head here,