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Teen Wolf coming to MTV June 3

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Guest hitoallusa

Oh my they are all hot..^_^ I hope they don't bring ticks and fleas to their home after wandering in the woods..

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Hmm! ...wonder if a tick or flea that ingested supernatural blood would become a were-tick, or a vampire flea? And could they then pass it on?

If so, all those flies buzzing Barnabas and Maggie on the Dark Shadows set would have posed quite a public menace.

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If supernaturally infected blood is infectious then I am quite willing to suppose it can be transmitted. However, personally, that is not the buzzing I would have in mind. ^_^

Don't forget, I know all those vampire FEDEX pilots who hang upside down in a closet all day so they can fly all night. ^_^

Their normal buzz comes in a white and blue can or reasonable facsimile. ^_^

Best regards,

RA1

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Guest Hoover42

Hmm! ...wonder if a tick or flea that ingested supernatural blood would become a were-tick, or a vampire flea? And could they then pass it on?

If so, all those flies buzzing Barnabas and Maggie on the Dark Shadows set would have posed quite a public menace.

Does the vampire flea or vampire tick have the same powers of conversion of a full, uh, blown, vampire human. or can they only convert other ticks and fleas or maybe house pets?

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Guest EXPAT

The Ultimate “Teen Wolf” Refresher Course
teenwolfpromo1.jpg

by Heather Hogan |

June 2, 2013

Finally, we are only one day away from another season of supernatural shenanigans on MTV’s Teen Wolf. A lot has happened in Beacon Hills over the course of two seasons. If you’ve been reading about the show at TheBacklot but haven’t yet checked it out (or if you enjoyed the first two seasons but have kind of forgotten what the hell happened), this post is for you. It’s a primer of everything you need to know before we kick off our season three recaps.

Teen Wolf may seem like your average teenage drama featuring gloriously chiseled dudes who take off their shirts at the slightest provocation and crawl all over each other like a basketful of grumpy puppies, but in reality, it’s so much more than that. It also has werewolves, werewolf hunters, werewolf zombies, lizard people, ghosts, drag queens, crossbows, bows and arrows, leather leather everywhere, and countless homages to horror classics distilled down to undiluted moments of (PG-13) terror.

Teen Wolf is the hole-in-the-wall donut shop where you stopped off at midnight to scarf some empty calories only to realize the place is staffed by a five-star pastry chef.

And yeah, pectorals galore.

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And yeah, this perfect face.

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Teen Wolf is also quietly, subversively, awesomely gay. One of the last bastions of homophobia in America is team sports, but half of Teen Wolf‘s scenes take place in the Beacon Hills High locker room, into which they have dropped the universally adored, crazy hot, super gay lacrosse player Danny Māhealani (played by actor Keahu Kahuanui). Not only has the show treated Danny’s sexuality as a non-issue; it has also refused to play to lowest common denominator tropes and make a single gay panic joke. In fact, the only gay panic any of Danny’s friends or teammates ever experience is when Stiles works himself into a feverish panic because he’s worried he’s not attractive to gay guys.

Danny has hormones (“You swing for a different team, but you still play ball, don’t you, Danny boy?”), confidence (“Armani. My after shave. It’s Armani.”), and swagger (“If I come back and find you dead under a pile of weights, I’m taking the Porsche.”). And, perhaps most impressive of all for a show that is a bloodbath every week, Danny is a gay man of color who is still alive!

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Also, of course, Teen Wolf is home to The Backlot’s Slash Madness champions Derek Hale and Stiles Stilinski, two men who seize every opportunity to touch each other and punch each other and clown on each other and save each other’s lives. Also, sometimes they cuddle.

Is your interest fully piqued? OK, well, buckle up, because we’re going to zoom through two seasons of lupine madness!

Next page. How it all began…

Tags: Colton Haynes, Dylan O’brien, IMDb, Keahu Kahuanui, Recaps, Teen Wolf, Teen Wolf recap, Tyler Hoechlin, Tyler Posey

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by Heather Hogan |

June 2, 2013 SEASON ONE

Scott McCall is an underachieving student and asthmatic lacrosse player who lives on the bottom of the social totem pole at Beacon Hills High despite the fact that he looks like Tyler Posey. One night, Scott and his buddy Stiles — who, in addition to being the most best BFF in all the land, also happens to be the greatest human on this earth — go for a late night stroll in the woods and Scott finds himself on the receiving end of a werewolf bite. Like all the Peter Parkers of yore, Scott wakes up with super speed and super strength and super sniffing abilities. Scott could do anything, anything at all with his new superheroic abilities, but instead he does the lamest thing he can think of and falls in love with a new girl with beautiful hair named Allison Argent. Her parents are werewolf hunters, duh, because Romeo and Juliet or whatever.

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At first, Scott can’t control his wolfish urges. Stress, anger, hunger, and especially erections make him transform in an instant, so Stiles decides the best way to help him is to pelt him with lacrosse balls until he can get his shit together. Scott is like, “No, no, this is not the correct thing! The correct thing is for me to focus on my love for Allison!” For two seasons, that’s his modus operandi, and at first Stiles finds it tiresome in the extreme, but then he meets Derek Hale and things get a lot more interesting.

The reason he meets Derek is because Beacon Hills citizens keep getting mauled to death in video stores and parking garages and on school buses, and Scott’s super-sniffer power leads him to believe the attacker is Derek. It’s not. Derek, see, is a Beta Wolf, just like Scott. They’re kind of like wolf cousins because Derek was born into a werewolf family and Scott was bitten by Derek’s uncle, who, by the way, is pretending to be catatonic in a human retirement home, but is totally the Big Bad Alpha Wolf who is gnawing off the limbs of everyone in town.

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Having to mentor a werewolf cub who only wants to make-out with his boring girlfriend all the time is just another in a series of bummers that is Derek’s life. For example, one time he watched his whole family burn alive inside their house because the Argents trapped them inside and torched the place. And so now he is an orphan who lives in a rundown shack that still smells like smoke. The only thing that makes him happy is taking off his shirt and doing pull-ups and one-armed pushups. So he does that a lot.

Another Beacon Hills orphan who prefers a healthy breeze around his privates is Jackson Whittemore. He hardly ever wears clothes, preferring instead to walk around the locker room with a towel wrapped around his waist while he does his scowling and brooding, which is something he does for 28 hours per day. He realizes pretty quickly that something suspicious is going on with Scott and after he sustains a scratch from Derek — during one of the seventy-three times Derek shows up in the high school locker room just to shove him up against a wall — he realizes it’s a werewolf situation. Why does he realize it? Because there’s a werewolf inside him. No, not Derek. But some other kind of claw beast thing that keeps trying to escape via his throat hole.

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Jackson’s best friend is Danny. He likes computers, lacrosse, long walks on the beach, and watching Derek Hale change clothes. Jackson’s girlfriend is Lydia. She is a badass motherf*cker, but Jackson is the anti-Scott and so he doesn’t want to crawl into her pajamas with her, or be nice to her or anything like that.

Most of the Scooby-Doo tomfoolery that Derek and Scott should be engaging in to keep Beacon Hills safe and to track down the Big Bad Alpha Wolf is, instead, accomplished by Derek and Stiles. Derek, he’ll say a thing needs to be done, right? And Scott will hear him say the thing, but instead of doing it, he will climb into Allison’s bedroom window and grind all around on her and get dewy-eyed about whatever Shakespearean sonnet. So, Stiles, he’ll step in to do the hard work, and sometimes he’ll gripe affably about it and sometimes he’ll just shrug adorably and get down to it. Derek will be like, grumble grumble pecs. And Stiles will be like, joke joke face. And Derek will be like, grumble. And Stiles will be like, face. And then they save the day.

Everything comes to a climax one night beneath the winter formal moon. Derek gets himself kidnapped by Allison’s batshit aunt, Kate Argent, who used to be in love with Derek but now has chained him up in her basement and strapped him to a car battery. Jackson gets himself into a petulant frenzy about how it’s no fair that he can’t be a full werewolf like Scott. Lydia gets herself attacked by the Alpha on the lacrosse field outside the school. Stiles gets even more adorable. And Scott and Allison get down to sexual business in their own little bubble of bliss while everyone around them bleeds and wails and gnashes their teeth.

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He does share one slow dance with Danny, though. It’s very sweet. But Danny’s boyfriend doesn’t think so.

The gang ends up out at the charred remains of the Hale family house way the hell out in the middle of the forest where Peter Hale, Derek’s pretend catatonic uncle, reveals himself as the Alpha. Everyone thought he was just a burned-up invalid in the hospital, but really he was sleeping during the day and doing murders at night. Kate Argent tries to kill Peter, so Peter kills her right back. Everyone else turns on ol’ Peter, chucking Molotov cocktails at him and shooting him with arrows and finally Derek just rips out his throat with his bare hands.

Scott feels sad because he needed the Alpha to be cured so he could be with Allison but now the Alpha is dead and his whole life’s purpose is gone. Jackson feels glad because Derek agrees to bite him real good. Lydia feels dead, even though she is not dead, but only covered in blood in a hospital bed. And Derek feels all-powerful and sexier than ever, which makes Stiles feel a thing in his pants, which is probably just friendship. Yeah, that’s it. Friendship.

Next page. Last season’s lizard man mystery…

Tags: Colton Haynes, Dylan O’brien, IMDb, Keahu Kahuanui, Recaps, Teen Wolf, Teen Wolf recap, Tyler Hoechlin, Tyler Posey

teenwolfpromo1.jpg

by Heather Hogan |

June 2, 2013 SEASON TWO

Because Kate Argent was eaten up by the Alpha werewolf, Kate’s father (and Allison’s grandfather) father rolls into town with a cavalcade of werewolf hunters. Derek thinks it’s probably a good idea to go ahead and start forming his own pack to protect himself from the Argents, so he takes a bite out of Isaac (whose father was a verbally abusive psycho), Erica (who suffered from debilitating epilepsy and bullying pre-bite), and Boyd (who runs the ice skating rink and is very friendless). They’re the guys whose lives the bite will change the most for the better, but they’re also the guys who have so much baggage that it’s a real problem when they suddenly wake up with superpowers. Making werewolf cubs, who have exactly zero impulse control, out of teenagers, who also have exactly zero impulse control, is very dangerous math.

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Once Derek has formed his pack, he asks Scott to join up. But Scott has his own pack already, and that pack is Allison and Stiles. They are bound together not by magic, but by love. Voldemort would scoff at it. But Dumbledore would approve.

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It’s a good thing everyone has packs because another killer is on the loose. It is not an Alpha this time. It is a Kanima, which is a giant lizard person. He murders a mechanic, a club owner, Isaac’s dad. What’s the Kamina’s motivation? Nobody knows! Who is the Kanima? Well, Derek’s got some ideas.

First off, he thinks it’s Lydia because she recovered from her werewolf attack pretty damn fast and then escaped from the hospital and wandered around naked in the woods for a while. Then, he thinks it’s Jackson because Derek gave him the bite and he still hasn’t transformed into a werewolf. Also legend has it that the Kanima is made of sexy, sexy, evil. And, well:

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Both packs enlist the help of a new student named Matt. He is a photographer who can probably use some kind of fancy photography tricks to snap some photos of the Kanima. But Matt is only interested in snapping photos of Allison. Allison at lacrosse games. Allison’s face in the cafeteria. Allison’s feet in the shower. The inside of Allison’s ear in the bed. He’s a stalker, basically, and he gets super suspicious when he snaps a photo of Scott that shows his eyes glowing the way puppy eyes do when the flash goes off on a camera.

Grandpa Argent and his merry clan chase the werewolves. The werewolves chase the Kanima. The Kanima goes around murdering people. Meanwhile, Stiles’ face is heaven. And he and Derek like to go for swims together and sometimes curl up beside one another on the floor when they’re paralyzed by Kanima venom.

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Everything becomes clear at Lydia’s birthday party when a group of fun-loving students throw Matt into the pool for a giggle. Matt does not laugh. Instead, he gurgles. And gurgles, gurgles, gurgles. Matt cannot swim! It is Jackson who rescues him. Jackson who serves him. Jackson who curls up around his legs later that night like a good little lizard pet — because Jackson in the Kanima.

Jackson doesn’t know it, though; he’s still clomping around in a naked huff about how his werewolf powers haven’t kicked in. Finally, Danny has to sit him down for a heart-to-heart. He’s very worried about his best friend. He’s always been surly and arrogant, but he’s also always had a soft spot for Danny. Now he’s just pissy and aloof all the time, blowing off plans and demanding technology favors. Danny tells him if he gets himself killed doing whatever weird stuff he’s secretly doing, he’s taking the Porsche.

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But Jackson does not get himself killed. Matt does, though. He gets killed by the gnarled old hands of Grandpa Argent. Because Grandpa Argent might hate werewolves, but a lizardman with super-strength? Now, there’s a party trick anyone can enjoy! He’d love to be that little guy’s master!

Just kidding. Grandpa Argent kills Matt to get to Jackson to use him as bait to lure the werewolves to him because Grandpa Argent wants to be the ultimate Big Bad Wolf. It’s either that or he’ll die of cancer, and he’s just not feeling that right now. Even though he made Allison’s mom stab herself in the chest with a meat clever because she got the werewolf bite. I loved Allison’s mom the best. I miss her the most. Her face was f*cking terrifying.

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Next page. Our handy illustrated Teen Wolf family tree…

Tags: Colton Haynes, Dylan O’brien, IMDb, Keahu Kahuanui, Recaps, Teen Wolf, Teen Wolf recap, Tyler Hoechlin, Tyler Posey

teenwolfpromo1.jpg

by Heather Hogan |

June 2, 2013

Well, anyway, Grandpa Argent lures everyone on the whole show to an abandoned warehouse and forces Scott to make Derek bite him; otherwise, he’s going to kill his own granddaughter. Derek does the deed, but — SURPRISE! — Scott had secretly traded out Grandpa Argent’s cancer pills for mountain ash, which, when mixed with werewolf venom, makes a person vomit black goop until they die. When Grandpa Argent realizes this, he orders his Kanima pet to kill literally everyone.

tw-primer-2.jpg?quality=0.7This screencap isn’t from season two, but this is what it looks like when Derek Hale is being attacked.

Lydia, who is at the warehouse also, is torn between two men. On the one hand, Jackson is her first love and she knows he loves her back. On the other hand, she accidentally resurrected Peter Hale from the dead by falling in love with his teenage ghost and making out with him a little bit. In the end, she chooses Jackson. She calms him down by calling him by his name even though he’s a lizard. She tells him she loves him. Just when he’s about to come back around to his glorious human form because he loves her too, Peter and Derek pounce on him and stab him about a zillion times with their claws.

Only, Jackson doesn’t die. He just turns into a super naked, super blue-eyed, angel-winged thing. (Also, though, maybe he did die because Colton Haynes left between seasons to join Arrow.)

Grandpa Argent is also maybe or maybe not dead. He either exploded into a pile of black gunk, or he crawled away and healed himself off-screen.

Peter and Derek return to their burned down old rotting house and find a mark on the door. It is the calling card of a pack of alpha wolves. Those guys either wanted to share a nice cup of tea with Derek, or they wanted to rip off his face. Who can say?

Stiles and Scott return to the lacrosse field. They play ball and giggle with each other and hope the worst is behind them.

Spoiler alert: It is not.

Below is a Teen Wolf family tree, just to help you keep things, erm, straight — visually.

tw-family-tree-3.png?quality=0.7(Click here for the full-size image.)

Teen Wolf‘s third season kicks off Monday night at 10:00. Will you be watching?

Tags: Colton Haynes, Dylan O’brien, IMDb, Keahu Kahuanui, Recaps, Teen Wolf, Teen Wolf recap, Tyler Hoechlin, Tyler Posey

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