The Official Boy Toy Guide To Vising Europe

[TotallyOz]

I was chatting with my friend tomcal the a few days back about Prague and Barcelona. I love the areas and want to go back and visit this year. I had a bit of free time last night so I thought I'd share some of my thoughts about EU with you guys.

The Official Boy Toy Guide To Vising Europe

One of the great things about being gay is that we have a lot more disposable income than our breeder buddies. After all, we don't have to worry about buying diapers for years every time a condom breaks! And, we don't have wives who insist on spending money on curtains instead of cock rings.

Which means that we get to travel much more often than they do. And we get to travel on our own, which means we get to have great sexcations. Now, there are tons of guides out there for guys who are traveling to Asia about how to deal with their customs so you don't come off as a Western imperialist dog.

But, there aren't that many guides about how to fit into European culture. Many people think that because most Americans are descended from Europeans, they have similar customs to ours and we can just do what we normally do. But, that's simply not the case. There is more than just a language difference between Americans and Europeans. There are also cultural differences and getting to understand them will help you fit in and make sure you are not perceived as an ugly American. With that in mind, get ready for the Boy Toy Guide To Visiting Europe!

The first thing you need to do is lower your voice. Americans speak much, much more loudly than European people do, and speaking in your normal voice will both single you out as an American and make you seem very rude. So, keep your voice down.

The second thing to be aware of is that there are topics of conversation that are fully acceptable in America, but not at all acceptable in Europe, the first being that people don't like to talk about their jobs or how much money they make. Asking someone what they do for a living is incredibly rude. Asking them if it pays well is even ruder.

Politics and religion are also things to be avoided. Most people in Europe are secular. They already think America is Jesusland, so don't give them any more ammunition. And, most of them are anti-capitalism and anti-imperialism for them, even Obama is far more right wing than any serious political figure in their countries - so anything you say about politics is going to come out as offensively right-wing.

Personal body space is also very different in Europe than in America. We Americans tend to assume that we should put several inches of space between us and the people around us. In Europe, they don't have those problems. So, if someone is sitting very close to you in a bar or walking very close to you on the street, they are not being rude; they simply don't have the body distance issues that we have.

Everything also moves more slowly in Europe. If you are at a cafe or a restaurant and it seems like it is taking forever for you to be served, that's not laziness or bad service. It's just that nobody is in a rush. Just relax and remember that you are on vacation. The good side of this is that unlike in America, they will not be trying to rush you out the door. If you order a coffee in a cafe, you can stay at your table for two hours reading a book if you'd like you won't be pressured to either order something else or leave.

One conversation that you can have safely and that will get cute guys talking to you is football. Not the NFL, but real football, otherwise known as soccer. There are three teams that nearly every male in Europe is willing to talk about Manchester United, Arsenal, and Real Madrid. Just go to the Wikipedia entry for any of those teams, memorize a few details, and you can get any dude in Europe to talk to you.

There is a myth that you don't tip in Europe. This is simply not true. You don't tip as much as you would in the United States, but you still should leave something after you get a drink or a meal. Leaving five euros after dinner is fine. Leaving 50 cents after you get a drink is also fine. Neither will break the bank and both will make you look like a good dude.

People tend to be much more open about sex and sexuality in Europe than in America. In several countries, infidelity is not only accepted but somewhat expected, as long as everyone is discreet. This means that just because a dude is wearing a wedding ring doesn't mean he won't be up for a little bump and grind if you charm him the right way. And, a dude who just got finished telling you he has a boyfriend may still be very interested in you.

You'll find that people tend to eat much later in Europe than in America. In France most restaurants don't open until 8 p.m., and rarely have anyone in them until 9. In Spain people don't really eat dinner until 10 p.m. or later. So, if you are used to eating around 6 or 7, try snacking during the day instead.

People in Europe are also much less judgmental about drinking and smoking than we are in America. Making comments about how you hate smoking will get you singled out as a puritan. And, don't be surprised if the people you hang out with drink more than you are used to.

Speaking of drinking, if you end up hanging out with anyone from Ireland, Wales or England, there is a round buying system. Generally, if more than two people are hanging out in a bar, one of them will buy a round of drinks. Then, it is expected that at some point in the evening you will buy a round of drinks as well if you don't, you will be considered an asshole. This is true even if there are eight or nine people at the table buy one round for everyone. It will balance out because you'll have eight or nine people buying drinks for you as well.

These are just a few tips, but keeping them in mind will help you avoid making the most common cultural blunders, which will make you look good, and, more importantly, more attractive to the boy toy of your choice.

So, remember them the next time you visit the old country!

[firecat691614502759]

Great read OZ. But it is too bad that they have not wised up about smoking. But then again we have backward states like Florida that hasn't wised up either. No wonder we spend so much more on health care then every other industrialized nation and get worse results.

[AdamSmith]

Great post.

Few more thoughts...

Dress business casual at all times. Ugly Americans in Europe stand out by their wearing plaid short pants and ill-fitting tee shirts (over their fat bellies; lose weight before traveling, if you have time ). This will save you not only from unspoken disdain from natives but also from standing out as a mark for highly skilled child pickpockets.

Don't hump down the street carrying a paper cup of coffee or Coke. Europeans find us Neanderthal for our never being able to go without an oral fix in hand.

Ask for the check when you are finished at table; it will not come otherwise. One of the pleasures of dining out in Europe is not being given the bum's rush to vacate your table.

Our BBB will doubtless be able to offer many more such.

[lookin]

I've been to a dozen or so countries over the years and owing, I guess, to a rather nondescript appearance and a natural diffidence, have nearly always been addressed by locals in the local language. I used to take it as a compliment but, since the passage of the Patriot Act, am now concerned that I might be letting down the side.

Lest there be any such misunderstandings in future travels, I've decided to take a few precautions.

[Guest josephga]

Great read OZ. But it is too bad that they have not wised up about smoking. But then again we have backward states like Florida that hasn't wised up either. No wonder we spend so much more on health care then every other industrialized nation and get worse results.

I don't see how anyone could smoke if they see this. i cried when i saw it

[paulsf]

Anybody have any luck finding a boy as a tour guide for a day? In Thailand and Brazil it's very easy. I'm going to Barcelona next month, but will only be there for 1 day. I'd like to see as much as I can, so a guide would be great.

[BiBottomBoy]

Getting a guide to any Euro city is easy. Just post an add on Elance.com in the "writing and translation" category. You'll have a dozen bilingual American ex-pats bidding to be your guide. Expect to pay between 10 and 20 dollars an hour.

Also, in Barcelona you can go to Travel Bar, right off the Ramblas and every day they have a different type of guided tour available (mostly centered around drinking, but also some other tour stuff.)

There is also a tour bus that starts right in front of the Hard Rock Cafe at the top of the Ramblas.

Barcelona really doesn't require much of a guide however. My advice:

1. Take a cab to the ramblas. Walk down it until you get to the port. Between the port and the ramblas, you've seen 80 percent of the good tourist stuff in the city.

2. Take a cab to Sagrada Famillia. Don't bother paying to see the inside of it, which is simply a construction site.

3. Take another cab to the Gaudi park. (I forget the name but it's easy to look up.)

4. Take another cab back to the ramblas. Walk two thirds of the way down the ramblas, turn left, walk two blocks and you are in the gayborhood and will be surrounded by gay bars, gay club, saunas and good restaurants.

[BiBottomBoy]

And if you just want to take a cab to the gayborhood just tell the driver you want to go to Gaixample.

[TownsendPLocke]

I always try to find a Hop On/Hop Off bus tour in cities I have not been to. This proved to be a very wise move in Barcelona. We bought a two day ticket and we were able to see much more of the city than we would have(And I STRONGLY disagree with BBB's comment "Take a cab to the ramblas. Walk down it until you get to the port. Between the port and the ramblas, you've seen 80 percent of the good tourist stuff in the city" but I loved the eye candy on Las Ramblas-just watch your belongings) than we would have on our own in a cab.

I also have witnessed both British and German tourists behaving badly/rudely . In fact I have witnessed poor behavior by many different folks of different nationalities. It is NOT an exclusively American trait.

[BiBottomBoy]

When I said 80 percent I meant if you only had one day to spend there.

Obviously if you have more time there are more Gaudi things to see and museums and stuff but all of them eat of time.

I was just suggesting how to get the most out of a day trip.

[AdamSmith]

Townie makes a good point that Amurricans aren't the only boors on the planet. In places like some of the Caribbean islands where lots of Europeans vacation, it is fun to compare and contrast the different styles of national rudeness.

[lookin]

In places like some of the Caribbean islands where lots of Europeans vacation, it is fun to compare and contrast the different styles of national rudeness.

Among those of us who are gay

And looking for someone to play,

Our rational nudeness

Trumps national rudeness

And leads to a pretty nice day.

[paulsf]

Bi / Townsend. Really appreciate the info. I am arriving on a cruise from Miami. So will see the port first hand right away. Staying at the Renaissance Barcelona, which is pretty much downtown. Between Garcia and Catalunya. I had read about the Hop On bus and figure that's a good way to go. I will be there only 24 hours. I figure coming off a cruise I will be good to go, unlike a plane trip that will wear you out. I won't be able to stay out to late which will be a bit disappointing as so much of the fun in European cities is at night.

But I am flying from Barcelona to Bangkok the following morning and have to get up early. But if any of Lookin's boys show, I can stay up for 24 hours.

[BiBottomBoy]

If you can't stay out late ask Travel Bar to recommend a decent place to eat that will open before it's way late - otherwise you'll get stuck in a tourist trap.

[TownsendPLocke]

Fortunately for PlaneTime Sauna Thermos is best between 5-8 p.m.! IMO it is a "don't miss" when visiting Barcelona! http://www.boytoy.com/forums/index.php?/topic/1845-barcelona/

[TotallyOz]

Great read OZ. But it is too bad that they have not wised up about smoking. But then again we have backward states like Florida that hasn't wised up either. No wonder we spend so much more on health care then every other industrialized nation and get worse results.

They have added some new smoking laws in the EU recently.