TotallyOz Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 How To Deal With A Houseboy Over the weekend, EXPAT posted a link: http://www.boytoy.com/forums/index.php?/topic/13399-room-for-rent-in-gay-mansion-craigslist-ad/ to a Craigslist ad from a guy who seemed to be really creepy. This guy, who is in his 60s, wants a stable of young men to live in his mansion. But, he has all sorts of crazy rules he wants to put in place. Instead of expressing a desire to get laid, he made it look like he was looking for slaves. And as an added bonus, he comes off as racist. The thing is, there is nothing wrong with what he wants - it's called a houseboy (or houseboys) in his case. But he is going about it the wrong way, and has the wrong attitude towards the houseboy phenomenon. Having one or more houseboys on hand can be a great sexperience but like any other prized possession, they need to be treated with care. With that in mind, we thought that we would spend some time today to talk about houseboys and how to treat them right, so you cum off as a decent dude and not a total Sleazy McCreeperson. First off what is a houseboy? Simply put, a houseboy is a younger man who stays with an older man in a mutually beneficial relationship. It's sort of like getting yourself a male escort, except this one will be around all the time to help make your life a little bit better. Beyond that, houseboys don't only provide you with sex; they'll also do some cooking, cleaning and shopping. It's a mixture of combining a personal assistant with a male escort all in one person. The first thing to understand is that a houseboy is an investment. You can't just be like this Craigslist guy, offering free rent and expecting to have a 21-year-old guy blow you whenever you ask. That's ridiculous - and rude (and the only young guys who would agree to it are guys looking to find ways to rob you). That means that you need to not only put a roof over their heads, but you also need to give them money. You can call it an allowance or a salary or a stipend, but they need to have their own spending money. You don't want them to have to get a job, because you want them to be available for you when you need them, which is work on their part that they deserve to be compensated for. You also need to pay for the groceries, and take them out to dinner once in a while. They are real live human beings, not your own personal sex dolls (though you can role play that with them if you like!). They deserve to feel like independent, free people. You should also cover basic amenities for them, including giving them Internet access and paying for them to have a cell phone. Don't be like this guy and insist that they have to earn the right to go online or use a phone you are not a prison warden, and they are not inmates. Houseboys also need some time off during the week to do their own thing. They have a right to friends and a life outside the houseboy relationship. They are not slaves. You can negotiate with them, either before the arrangement starts or on a week-by-week basis, when their time off will be. It's fairly easy to come to an arrangement to have their time off when you won't be at home to use their services anyway. That way, you may not even notice that they are ever gone! You also need to spell out what will be expected of them before they move in and the houseboy relationship starts. For some guys, having the laundry done and the bed made will be very important. Other guys have an outside cleaning service, but may want all their shopping done for them and their meals prepared. It's up to you as to what non-sexual services you want - if you can afford a houseboy, you'll find one who is able to meet your needs. The houseboy should, of course, take those responsibilities seriously. He is not a slave, but he should have to earn his keep and respect that there are obligations that go along with the lifestyle you are offering him. Your houseboy should also be able to have some of his friends over once in a while. It's totally OK if you would rather not be there (some of us can only handle the youthful energy of one dude) but, again, you can negotiate this. One of the things houseboys love to do is show off the great living arrangement they've managed to score to their friends and, trust me, if you let them show off to the other boys, they will repay you in bed in ways that will blow your mind. You should also provide a clothing stipend for your houseboy. An easy way to do this is to get him a credit card in his name, with a reasonable limit on it. You know you want him to dress hot for you who wants a houseboy in shoddy clothes? and they'll want to shop themselves so they can surprise you with what they bought to please you. It is fair to set some limits in body and appearance. If you start a houseboy relationship with a hot, fit twink, you don't want him to suddenly start packing on the pounds since he has a comfortable relationship. You can dictate how much time you want him to spend in the gym, and create a system where if he doesn't live up to that part of his job, his stipend will be reduced or he will be asked to leave. This does not make you a jerk; you are paying for a pretty package, and you should get what you pay for. If you can follow these simple rules, you may find the houseboy relationship to be one of the most rewarding ones of your life. It can be like having your favorite escort literally on hand whenever you want them. If, however, you do it wrong, you can end up in a bad situation, and look like the type of Craigslist jerk EXPAT was making fun of. eeyore, JKane and flipao 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members marcanthony Posted March 11, 2013 Members Share Posted March 11, 2013 yes. I agree with Oz. This is far less creepy than the other one... and it will attract people who are far less desperate! Good for both employer and employee. TotallyOz, flipao and BiBottomBoy 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiBottomBoy Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 Yep. I had a houseboy once and it was awesome. What I hated about the Craigslist guy was that he makes the whole thing look sleezy when it can be awesome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 I had a houseboy once and it was awesome. Jealous! Details salacious and otherwise? Please? Yum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiBottomBoy Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 It's nice to not have to change the sheets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest EXPAT Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 I still think that Craigslist ad is for an upcoming reality show cast. There is so much of that crap in Hollywood that it wouldn't surprise me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest EXPAT Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 It's nice to not have to change the sheets. Except I have yet to meet someone who knows how to do it properly. When I had a daily maid in London and in Germany I had to train them specifically. I know I'm a bit OCD. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Suckrates Posted March 11, 2013 Members Share Posted March 11, 2013 Whatever the situation, it sounds like indentured servitude to me, and even if both parties are consenting, its Creepy to me... Anytime a person is made to be beholding or owes their livelihood to another person its degrading IMO.... A job is one thing. These arrangements are Beyond ! But as I say, if both parties are consenting, who am I to judge them ? (although I just did ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiBottomBoy Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 How is it any different from a long term male escort situation - as long as it's done right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest zipperzone Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 I can easily imagine some guys who would thrive in this kind of situation. Perhaps not all that different from those who enjoy being slaves and being trotted around naked in bars and Folsom Street events. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiBottomBoy Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 It just strikes me as giving a male escort room, board and a salary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RA1 Posted March 12, 2013 Members Share Posted March 12, 2013 Like everthing else, perception it paramount. How would you characterize (in many years past) a household servant who also had children out of wedlock or in any case with the owner of the house. Was that master-slave? In some cases, yes, in other cases, mutual attraction that "got out of hand" but the household generally was still maintained with the wife and childen. Many other variations possible. I have never had a house boy but I can easily imagine a young man hired to do house hold chores being paid a salary + room + board and sometimes or often that proceeding into a sexual relationship of some sort. Eventually this was formalized into the "houseboy" job description. However how the various members viewed and participated whatever transpired would be individual decisions and, of course, as previously described, nowdays, something "better" discussed in advance. Suppose you had a college student who was living in your house with room and board. In exchange he agreed to do some light household chores. Now suppose you struck a "new" deal that involved him being "more friendly" with you and you now paid him for taking care of things. Does that make him an escort? Again, it depends upon how each of you view the situation and how prehistoric your attitudes are. There are so many variation and permutations of these kinds of situations it boggles the mind. Best regards, RA1 AdamSmith and BiBottomBoy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiBottomBoy Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 Very well put. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest lurkerspeaks Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 why are we as Americans, so eager to put labels on everything? Just like when you visit Brazil, and the boy you are paying money to tells you he is straight, with a wife or girlfriend and one or more small children, just as he is about to passionately kiss you and perform some very intimate acts..Does it really matter what you call someone, as long as you both are happy, content, and not being coerced into something you are uncomfortable with? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RA1 Posted March 13, 2013 Members Share Posted March 13, 2013 Why call anyone anything, unless asked? Best regards, RA1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
