Using the Word Fag in Articles and Stories on Boytoy

[lookin]

Although I didn't vote either way, I'm not terribly offended by being referred to as a fag. Although I can't actually say it shows a huge amount of class either.

I can understand NCBored's view that it wasn't Lucky's reaction that was being voted on but, rather, other folks' feeling about the word. In fairness, though, the poll did come close on the heels of Lucky's statement, so it wouldn't be too hard to comingle one with the other, you should pardon the expression.

However, I also think I see Lucky's point. Sometimes, when you're part of a close-knit community, if even one member is seriously offended by something, the other members of the community voluntarily refrain from doing it. Assuming, that is, that it's not too onerous to refrain from doing it. It's just a way to show respect for the feelings of all members of the group.

I think this group is kind of like that, so it wouldn't kill me not to call Lucky a fag if I know it bothers him.

The exception to that would be if it was hugely important to me that I refer to Lucky as a fag, say if somebody was offering me a hundred bucks to do it. Most likely, I'd apologize in advance, and then pass him a twenty when I was all done.

If it's important to OZ's business model to call us all fags, then I guess we'll all just have to hunker down and take it like men ladies. If, however, it's not critical to the survival of the site, then maybe it could just be saved for those special occasions when absolutely nothing else will do.

[TotallyOz]

You're voting on whether it's all right for us to call each other fag, and I don't think that is something that should be voted on. Your articles want to refer to us as traveling bitches and fags, and that will simply never be okay with me. That you think a majority vote can undo years of fighting gay oppression indicates how far apart we are on this. Thus, have fun with your site but it won't include me.

Wrong. I asked an opinion from others who may or may not think like I think. I know that you think your opinion is right and unquestionable but I disagree. I don't disagree with what you think, I disagree with your belief that no one else has a right to have a different opinion. This "poll" was never about a majority vote. I have already started to remove the word from future articles. The post was a means of dialogue. Something I think everyone should have a right to have on this and all forums. The point of all message boards it to discuss issues with people that you know are intelligent but may have different views than yours.

But, no need to argue with you. You always have a home here should you want to return. As I have always said, the door is always open and the welcome mat is out.

[TotallyOz]

If it's important to OZ's business model to call us all fags, then I guess we'll all just have to hunker down and take it like men ladies.

I am extremely offended by the term "ladies." It really gets under my skin lookin. Please, please don't refer to me that way. Just because I love designer purses and shoes and an occasional boa, it does not mean I am a lady. I just like to look pretty.

[Guest FourAces]

I agree with those who say its about context and intent. Coming from you OZ it seems pretty harmless and doesn't bother me at all. Coming from that crazy dude who goes to military funerals and yells God hates fags ... well I just wanna see God strike him down.

[BiBottomBoy]

Well, yeah the Westboro Baptist Church uses it in a different context.

[Guest CharliePS]

I come from a generation in which gay men called one another "fag" and "bitch," and black men called one another "nigga," as a bonding mechanism as well as a warning ("Watch out!" "Who do you think you are?" "Lighten up!"). There is undoubtedly also an unpleasant element of self-hatred in the use. On one hand, I do believe that the words we use influence how we think and behave, but on the other hand I dislike the straight-jacket of political correctness. A (white feminist) colleague became quite upset with me once for fondly referring to a couple of elderly women as "Negro ladies," but that is exactly how they thought of themselves. I am outraged when Dick Armey calls Barney Frank "a queer," but it doesn't bother me when a gay group uses the slogan "Were here. We're queer. Get over it." I have mixed feelings about academia formalizing a specialization as "Queer Studies."

Context is everything, but everyone doesn't preceive context in the same way.

[BiBottomBoy]

I will say my friends and I call each other fags all the time.

[AdamSmith]

http://soundb.us/s/975

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080391/quotes

[Guest EXPAT]

While it can all be about context, let me say that I hate the use of the word in any context. But I think in this case Oz might want to consider his brand. I think it may be one thing to use it in a casual forum posting in responding to someone or making fun of something as long as the context is important (I wouldn't like it in any event).

But I think using it in articles where you are trying to entice readers to come to your site to learn about gay travel locations or understand hiring male escorts as quite another thing and maybe unprofessional. Is that really the impression you want to leave with new readers to your site? By using the word you are certain to alienate a lot of readers. And they may never come back because of it. But if you don't use it in these articles, you take a much lower risk in offending potentially new readers. I personally (IMHO) would never use it in articles when I'm trying to spread the brand. I think that only brings downside. But again that is just my opinion.

[RA1]

There are a lot of words that have the potential to be offensive. How we deal with them and how we deal with life has a lot to say about how well we are doing as a society. Personally, I would prefer that such words not be used by anyone at any time, but I am very aware of life as it exists. Therefore I try to not get too upset with those among us who choose to do otherwise. For they are human beings also and deserve a chance to do better. We can all plan to do better and ascribe thereto and if we fail and we need to try harder, then let's.

In the meantime, let's do our best to allow our fellow human beings to be themselves and hope they allow the same for us.

Best regards,

RA1

[Guest jimboivyo]

i don't find it offensive when oz says it. it feels more camp than anything

some people do findit offensive. it's sort of a black or white issue

[BiBottomBoy]

I think it's very camp when Oz says it.

[TotallyOz]

OK. You all have convinced me that it is offensive to some and thus, it is removed from my vocabulary for this site.

However, I need some cute words in my articles. Is anyone offended by pickle eater?

[AdamSmith]

Is anyone offended by pickle eater?

I have just the graphic for that but if I post it one more time, TY will ban me for life.

[Guest josephga]

However, I need some cute words in my articles. Is anyone offended by pickle eater?

A friend of mine use to say pole smoker

[BiBottomBoy]

Can we just call people "travoltas?"

[RA1]

I hesitate to make a reply. John no doubt is gay and "something" of a pilot, so are you calling "us" fairies? I doubt it. I think I see your point. However, as a pilot, I do not and cannot easily identify with John Travolta in this regard. "Stars" and other wealthy folks do not often make superior or even average pilots. It is too easy to not engage in the "real" world of aviation. If the weather is bad, just don't go. ETC. No problem with not going when the weather is bad but "real" pilots aka professional pilots HAVE to go unless it is dangerous to do so. Then, no one should go.

I would very much appreciate your definition of what a "Travolta" really is.

Best regards,

RA1

[BiBottomBoy]

Ummm. I'm not sure how the piolot idea got into there. I was just trying to make a very common joke at John Travolta's expense.

I could have said "Spaceys" or "Cruises."

No offense meant.

[RA1]

I just re-read my own post and your reply. I was not so much offended by what you said as I am by John Travolta in general. I didn't overstate my opinion but likely overstated a reaction to your post. I certainly see what you mean.

In aviation circles, JT is regarded by some as a spokesperson for pilots, etc. but, according to me, his only qualifications include having the money to invest in aviation and being a "movie star". I do think his interest in aviation is sincere, just not realistic.

Best regards,

RA1

[BiBottomBoy]

How about "Scientologists?'

[RA1]

Please don't encourage me to comment on that group.

Best regards,

RA1

[Guest rimchair]

How about a musician using 'fag' in her concert?

""At Yoshi's San Francisco on Sunday night, singer Michelle Shocked pretty much shocked her audience by saying, among other things, "God hates fags and you can tweet that I said so." This came about halfway through the show, in the middle of a rant against gay marriage, tweeted James Patterson, who was at the show. Something like two-thirds of the crowd walked out.""

Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/entertainment/garchik/article/Shocked-show-shut-down-over-gay-slur-4363898.php#ixzz2O0UavQv8

[BiBottomBoy]

I thought it was unfair w hen the Dixie Chicks got shit for saying their liberal feelings on stage, so I'd be a hypocrite if I shit on Michelle Shocked for saying her conservative feelings on stage.

[TampaYankee]

I do not tend to get offended by words, rather the thought or feelings behind the use of the words.

Frankly, I'm more offended by the term 'breeders' as seldom do I encounter that on gay boards when it does not seem pejorative.

[AdamSmith]

Agree 'breeders' is offensive.

Re Shocked, reports are that since her outburst, some 8 of her upcoming gigs have been canceled by the venues. Who knew she was still even that popular?