May 5, 201412 yr Aww that kid is so cute to prepare a card for her father.. What a sweet daughter.. Children are blessings.. How many shots of how many liquors this calls for is beyond counting!
May 5, 201412 yr Oh my AS please don't drink then That solves it. What about a cup of green tea? How many shots of how many liquors this calls for is beyond counting!
May 12, 201412 yr The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense. Stolen from today's NYTimes.
May 12, 201412 yr Active Members Likewise, the circus came to town; it was in tents. Stolen from my fevered brain. Best regards, RA1
May 13, 201412 yr here is one, short and simple.... Q---- How do you make Holy Water?? A-- You boil the Hell out of it..
May 13, 201412 yr Active Members Also, how you cook kidneys. Boil the piss out of them. Best regards, RA1
May 14, 201412 yr A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, “I’m not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play.” The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks, “Okay, now concentrate… what is two plus two?” The player thought for a moment and then he answered, “4?” “Did you say 4?!?” the coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right. At that, all the other players on the team began screaming, “COME ON COACH…GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!!!” (Jay Dean)
May 14, 201412 yr A man is walking down the beach one day when he stumbles across a lamp…He rubs the lamp and out pops a GENIE…The Genie says that he has three wishes, but whatever he asks for, his ex-wife will get double….The man agrees and asks for ten million dollars…POOF…he gets it, but his wife gets 20 million…..The man’s second wish was a mansion in Hollywood….POOF..He gets a mansion, but his ex-wife gets TWO mansions……The GENIE says, “what is your third wish?” To which the man says, “beat me half to death.”
May 15, 201412 yr Active Members For other weird candies that actually exist: http://www.weirdworm.com/8-weird-candies-that-actually-exist/
May 20, 201412 yr Active Members Mormons missionaries are a lot cuter than those pugly Jehovah's Witness drabs.
May 21, 201412 yr Here's a simple and effective way to end the conversation. As you open the door say "Finally, are you with the Center for Disease Control?", while dressed like this: As they run away, yell, "Sorry, I meant the Center for Disease Control and Prevention. Please come back."
May 21, 201412 yr Active Members Mormons missionaries are a lot cuter than those pugly Jehovah's Witness drabs. Which brings to mind the obvious...Mormon missionary position
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