Jump to content
TotallyOz

Joke for the Day: Add more if you want

Recommended Posts

  • Members
Posted

Last X-mas my friends trolled me with a puzzle labeled  4 to 6.

The joke's on them.

I just solved it in less than one. :P

______

Speaking of solving it in one, consider the following:

Related imageI

I'll post the answer later.

Maybe...:devil:

 

Posted
2 hours ago, MsGuy said:

Last X-mas my friends trolled me with a puzzle labeled  4 to 6.

The joke's on them.

I just solved it in less than one. :P

______

Speaking of solving it in one, consider the following:

Related imageI

I'll post the answer later.

Maybe...:devil:

 

'Fruits''?!

You will trigger all the sensitive language purists here!

:laugh:

  • Members
Posted

AS, I suspect that you and I are not too far apart in our views about sensitive young things who "trigger" out at the slightest exposure to difficult words/thoughts. However, the reality of it is that the vast majority of such delicate blossoms are way younger than the folks interested in Oz's forums. We mostly came of age in far harsher times.

Image result for delicate flower

 

PS Anyone interested in the answer to the puzzle?

  • Members
Posted
10 hours ago, MsGuy said:

 

PS Anyone interested in the answer to the puzzle?

Since we are told they are all and always mislabelled, I don’t see the difficulty either. Once you have picked a fruit from the apple and orange box, you know what is in that box for sure. Then the next box is also mislabelled, so it cannot contain what is written on it, so you can infer what it actually contains since there are only 2 choices at that point. And the last....  yeah, there is only one choice left. 

Posted
19 hours ago, MsGuy said:

AS, I suspect that you and I are not too far apart in our views about sensitive young things who "trigger" out at the slightest exposure to difficult words/thoughts. However, the reality of it is that the vast majority of such delicate blossoms are way younger than the folks interested in Oz's forums. We mostly came of age in far harsher times.

Image result for delicate flower

I only ever chose college courses that scared the living bejesus out of me. You too no doubt.

If it looked interesting but easy, we could just buy the textbook, and save the tuition & credits for the impossible-looking stuff.

  • Members
Posted
On 11/02/2018 at 6:15 PM, AdamSmith said:

I only ever chose college courses that scared the living bejesus out of me. You too no doubt.

If it looked interesting but easy, we could just buy the textbook, and save the tuition & credits for the impossible-looking stuff.

I hate to tarnish your image of me, AS, but the sole absolute w/o exception criteria I had for excluding a course was that it not be scheduled before 9:00 a.m. 10:00 or later was my preference but I could tolerate 9:00 for an otherwise unavailable required credit.

  • Members
Posted

I had a class in law school that started at 8 or so in the morning. I quickly realized that a) the professor didn't take attendance, and b) the lecture came exactly as was in the textbook. So I stopped going to classes and still passed. I just studied the textbook.

The reason I couldn't stay awake for the class is because I was working the midnight shift at the GM factory. But I took 17 hours of law classes on top of that. (end brag.)

Posted
38 minutes ago, MsGuy said:

I hate to tarnish your image of me, AS, but the sole absolute w/o exception criteria I had for excluding a course was that it not be scheduled before 9:00 a.m. 10:00 or later was my preference but I could tolerate 9:00 for an otherwise unavailable required credit.

I never took a course that started before noon.

jesus, wot were they thinking? :wacko:

Duke and Jale both got that.

  • Members
Posted
On 11/13/2018 at 12:14 AM, MsGuy said:

Dr0GfliV4AMXa5r.jpg:small

Which way to my parade?

It appears that the daughters of the podiatrist that secured Trump's  deferment have confirmed what we all already knew.

Dr. Braunstein rented his office in Jamaica, Queens, from Fred Trump in the 1960s, the Times reported, citing records. His two daughters told the Times that their father provided the diagnosis of bone spurs as a courtesy to the elder Trump.
"I know it was a favor," Elysa Braunstein told the newspaper, who added that the "small favor" got her father "access" to Fred Trump.
New York Times investigation: Trump helped his parents evade taxes, 'including instances of outright fraud'
 
"If there was anything wrong in the building, my dad would call and (Fred) Trump would take care of it immediately," she told The Times.
Elysa Braunstein also told the newspaper that her father implied that Trump did not have a foot ailment
  • Members
Posted

Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and Bill Clinton die and go to hell.

They are lined up in front of three doors. The first is opened to reveal a swarm of wasps and mosquitoes. Satan's voice booms "Mr Obama you have sinned, and now you must spend all of eternity with these vile creations!" And with that, Obama is thrown into the room and the door slams shut.

Clinton and Trump are now terrified. The second door opens, and it reveals a room filled with angry rabid dogs and badgers. Satan's voice booms again "Mr Clinton you have sinned, and now you must spend all of eternity with these ghastly beasts!" And with that, Clinton is thrown into the room and the door slams shut.

Trump is now wetting himself. The final door opens, but instead of there being anything horrific, Trump sees the most drop-dead gorgeous young woman he has ever laid eyes on, with perfect skin, a stunning face, and thick flowing hair. Satan's voice booms one final time "Mrs Samson you have sinned…"

Posted
1 hour ago, MsGuy said:

Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and Bill Clinton die and go to hell.

They are lined up in front of three doors. The first is opened to reveal a swarm of wasps and mosquitoes. Satan's voice booms "Mr Obama you have sinned, and now you must spend all of eternity with these vile creations!" And with that, Obama is thrown into the room and the door slams shut.

Clinton and Trump are now terrified. The second door opens, and it reveals a room filled with angry rabid dogs and badgers. Satan's voice booms again "Mr Clinton you have sinned, and now you must spend all of eternity with these ghastly beasts!" And with that, Clinton is thrown into the room and the door slams shut.

Trump is now wetting himself. The final door opens, but instead of there being anything horrific, Trump sees the most drop-dead gorgeous young woman he has ever laid eyes on, with perfect skin, a stunning face, and thick flowing hair. Satan's voice booms one final time "Mrs Samson you have sinned…"

Per me si va ne la città dolente,
per me si va ne l’etterno dolore,
per me si va tra la perduta gente.

Giustizia mosse il mio alto fattore:
fecemi la divina podestate,
la somma sapienza e ‘l primo amore.

Dinanzi a me non fuor cose create
se non etterne, e io etterno duro.
Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch’intrate.

“THROUGH ME THE WAY TO THE CITY OF WOE,
THROUGH ME THE WAY TO ETERNAL PAIN,
THROUGH ME THE WAY AMONG THE LOST...

https://classicsincontext.wordpress.com/2010/02/28/canto-iii-per-me-si-va-ne-la-citta-dolente/

 

  • Members
Posted
On 12/27/2018 at 5:49 PM, MsGuy said:

Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and Bill Clinton die and go to hell.

They are lined up in front of three doors. The first is opened to reveal a swarm of wasps and mosquitoes. Satan's voice booms "Mr Obama you have sinned, and now you must spend all of eternity with these vile creations!" And with that, Obama is thrown into the room and the door slams shut.

Clinton and Trump are now terrified. The second door opens, and it reveals a room filled with angry rabid dogs and badgers. Satan's voice booms again "Mr Clinton you have sinned, and now you must spend all of eternity with these ghastly beasts!" And with that, Clinton is thrown into the room and the door slams shut.

Trump is now wetting himself. The final door opens, but instead of there being anything horrific, Trump sees the most drop-dead gorgeous young woman he has ever laid eyes on, with perfect skin, a stunning face, and thick flowing hair. Satan's voice booms one final time "Mrs Samson you have sinned…"

OK. Someone's going to have to explain this one to me.... :cry:

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



Announcements


×
×
  • Create New...