Members RA1 Posted June 21, 2015 Members Posted June 21, 2015 KFC uses under sized chickens + over sized prices. Exactly what are you proposing in the way of violence? Best regards, RA1 AdamSmith 1 Quote
AdamSmith Posted June 27, 2015 Posted June 27, 2015 Only in Japan! Women flock to Japan zoo to see 'hunky' gorilla https://www.yahoo.com/news/women-flock-japan-zoo-see-hunky-gorilla-044739619.html Quote
AdamSmith Posted July 4, 2015 Posted July 4, 2015 When Titian was mixing some madder For a nude he had posed on a ladder, Her position to Titian Suggested coition, So he stopped mixing madder and had her. Quote
Members RA1 Posted July 5, 2015 Members Posted July 5, 2015 Yes, Mrs. Parker. Best regards, RA1 AdamSmith 1 Quote
AdamSmith Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!_______________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year._____________________________________ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years._________________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?____________________________________________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death..ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male._____________________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.______________________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight._________________________________________ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral..._________________________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. Quote
Members RA1 Posted July 11, 2015 Members Posted July 11, 2015 Old but still funny. Best regards, RA1 Quote
AdamSmith Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Old but still funny. One of the benefits of creeping senescence. Quote
Members RA1 Posted July 11, 2015 Members Posted July 11, 2015 Speak for yourself. I woke up this morning feeling like a 20 year old but at that hour could not find one. Best regards, RA1 MsGuy and AdamSmith 2 Quote
Members MsGuy Posted July 18, 2015 Members Posted July 18, 2015 AdamSmith, I think I've found a new kink for you to perv on: Or was I too late again? AdamSmith 1 Quote
AdamSmith Posted July 18, 2015 Posted July 18, 2015 Or was I too late again? I do believe you've got the march on me for once. Quote
Members RA1 Posted July 19, 2015 Members Posted July 19, 2015 What happened to Jan and Feb? Best regards, RA1 Quote
Members RA1 Posted July 21, 2015 Members Posted July 21, 2015 Mechanic's Creed: You want it 1. Quickly 2. Well done 3. Cheap Choose any two. This is any mechanic's creed, auto, aircraft, plumber, etc. Best regards, RA1 AdamSmith 1 Quote
