AdamSmith Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 When I Need Strength, I Turn To The Bible Or Whatever Else Is Around Commentary • Opinion • religion • ISSUE 50•25 • Jun 24, 2014 By Kathy Crines We all go through tough times in life. Maybe you’re struggling at work and filled with self-doubt, or perhaps the loss of a loved one has left you wondering if you’re strong enough to carry on. In those dark hours, it’s easy to fall victim to feelings of helplessness. But, fortunately, there’s hope, and it’s as close as your bookshelf. I’ve found that when I need strength, I can always turn to the Bible or anything else that’s handy. Several years ago, I was diagnosed with cancer. During my long battle to get well, I often took comfort in the Good Book or whatever other book was nearby. When chemotherapy left me too exhausted to even get out of bed, I would find myself picking up the Bible, if that’s what happened to be on my nightstand, and reading a favorite verse or two. But if there happened to be a copy of The Hunger Games there instead, a couple of chapters of that would also do the trick. God is our strength, we read in Psalm 18, and as powerless as I felt during those agonizing months, I discovered courage in His wisdom when it was within arm’s reach, just as I did with Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers and David Baldacci’s thriller Stone Cold. Throughout my life, in fact, the Bible or some other reading material has been there when I needed it most. When I lost my job and worried about how I was going to scrape together next month’s rent in the middle of a brutal recession, I often relied on the Bible, A Tale Of Two Cities, In Cold Blood, The Audacity Of Hope, The Omnivore’s Dilemma, Seabiscuit, the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, a pocket road atlas of the Great Lakes region, The Oxford Companion To Ships And The Sea, or Fodor’s Montréal And Québec City 2009. Anything lying around, to be honest. Whenever I’ve felt stretched to my breaking point, I’ve found solace in turning to the New Testament, or just turning my head a bit until my gaze fell upon the framed cross-stitch on my wall that reads “Bless This Mess.” Or any calendar. I distinctly remember one moment during my divorce. I’d just been sitting in my room all day with the shades drawn, crying and wondering if I’d be spending the rest of my life unloved and alone—if I died right there, who would even know? But in those bleakest hours, I was lifted from despair by my Bible and my 2006 Ford Focus owner’s handbook. According to Scripture, “the Lord your God is with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9), and according to my car’s manual: “The defroster turns off automatically after 14 minutes or when the ignition is turned to the OFF position. To manually turn off the defroster before 14 minutes have passed, push the control again.” It’s hard to think of words more comforting than those. We all wish there was no pain in life. But at least I know the ingredients list on a box of Grape-Nuts, the word of God, or anything at all written on someone’s T-shirt are there for me. I am so, so grateful that I can find peace any time I need it by writing a phone number or drawing a little star on the back of my hand and looking at it, or just by staring at the asphalt on my driveway. Yes, our demons rise up again and again, but we can answer them just as often by turning to the Bible or running a blender for hours on end until the motor burns out or throwing old clothes and hats into a river or doing anything else, without exception. Try it, whatever it may be, and you might find an inner peace you’ve never felt before. http://www.theonion.com/articles/when-i-need-strength-i-turn-to-the-bible-or-whatev,36351/ RA1 1 Quote
AdamSmith Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 Humanity Surprised It Still Hasn’t Figured Out Better Alternative To Letting Power-Hungry Assholes Decide Everything News • world leaders • News • ISSUE 50•25 • Jun 25, 2014 Billions worldwide agreed that, by this point in human civilization, they would have expected a better process than entrusting all their political, commercial, and social decisions to vindictive, self-absorbed fuckers. NEW YORK—Noting that it has had thousands of years to develop a more agreeable option, humankind expressed bewilderment this week that it has yet to devise a better alternative to governing itself than always letting power-hungry assholes run everything, sources worldwide reported. Individuals in every country on earth voiced their frustration that, in spite of generations of mistreatment, neglect, and abuse they have suffered at the hands of those in positions of authority, they continue to allow control over the world’s governments, businesses, and virtually every other type of organization and social group to fall to the most megalomaniacal pricks among them. “We’ve all seen what this system leads to, so you’d think that by now, someone, somewhere would have sat down and thought up another way to keep our societies functioning without giving all the power to arrogant, amoral dicks whose only concern is improving their own status,” said Mumbai software designer Ankan Rao, one of 7.1 billion humans who conveyed continued surprise that their species has so far proven incapable of formulating a method of governance that was even slightly more tolerable. “Everybody dislikes the people in charge and everybody knows they’re only serving their own personal agendas at the expense of everyone else, but we just keep allowing these jerks to make our decisions time and time again. And it’s not just here—it’s everywhere in the world.” “Boy, maybe we shouldn’t do that anymore,” Rao added. “Anyone have any better ideas?” Speaking with reporters, citizens across the planet unanimously expressed their bafflement at the consistency with which they either formally or informally select corrupt and self-obsessed sacks of shit for leadership roles in all facets of life, including positions atop corporate boards, judicial and legislative bodies, religious institutions, parent-teacher associations, the military, intramural softball teams, and international and national professional associations, as well as groups of friends deciding where to eat. In addition, sources offered countless examples of the counterproductive and perplexing practice of entrusting power to the world’s least scrupulous individuals, ranging in scale from a domineering dictator who plunges his country into civil war in order to consolidate his power, to a Foot Locker shift manager who forces his subordinates to close up without him so that he can go home early. Moreover, everyone across the planet acknowledged that the tradition of allowing an exploitative asshole to take charge of a given situation has been the principal system for group decision-making from the earliest formation of tribal societies to the present day, an admission that caused each member of the human race to either emit an exasperated sigh, shake his or her head, or mutter a profanity. “My old boss, my sorority president, my congressional representative, my current boss—they’ve all been soulless, backstabbing dickheads whose only concern is getting what they want,” said administrative assistant Sheryl Gittens of Fort Worth, TX, who went on to list the bully back in her seventh grade class, her homeowners association president, and the coordinator of her Bible study group among the legions of selfish jagoffs who have inexplicably been granted commanding roles by the acquiescent masses. “What’s even more annoying is that we essentially reward these people for only thinking of themselves and repeatedly screwing us over. If you stop and think about it, that’s pretty messed up.” “Jesus,” she continued. “What the hell’s wrong with us?” Given the prevalence throughout history of compassionless, two-faced leaders whose lust for control and inflated self-importance have led to disastrous results for society at large, many individuals questioned if, going forward, they should instead try giving power to someone other than a greedy, self-serving bastard. “Maybe we should try letting a kind, responsible person run things for a change,” Cairo resident Nathifa Bakhoum told reporters. “I, for one, don’t want to be told what to do by another narcissist who’s drunk on power and who has absolutely no regard for my well-being. It’s just a thought, but perhaps we could go with a good, decent human next time, or at least someone who’s not a completely egotistical pile of dogshit. That seems like a good thing to try at least once, right? Could we even do that? It’s probably worth a shot.” When pressed for further comment, however, every member of humanity agreed that the current system, though deeply flawed, remains far better than one in which they actually have to make decisions for themselves. http://www.theonion.com/articles/humanity-surprised-it-still-hasnt-figured-out-bett,36361/ lookin 1 Quote
AdamSmith Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 Humanity Surprised It Still Hasn’t Figured Out Better Alternative To Letting Power-Hungry Assholes Decide Everything News • world leaders • News • ISSUE 50•25 • Jun 25, 2014 Billions worldwide agreed that, by this point in human civilization, they would have expected a better process than entrusting all their political, commercial, and social decisions to vindictive, self-absorbed fuckers. NEW YORK—Noting that it has had thousands of years to develop a more agreeable option, humankind expressed bewilderment this week that it has yet to devise a better alternative to governing itself than always letting power-hungry assholes run everything, sources worldwide reported. Individuals in every country on earth voiced their frustration that, in spite of generations of mistreatment, neglect, and abuse they have suffered at the hands of those in positions of authority, they continue to allow control over the world’s governments, businesses, and virtually every other type of organization and social group to fall to the most megalomaniacal pricks among them. “We’ve all seen what this system leads to, so you’d think that by now, someone, somewhere would have sat down and thought up another way to keep our societies functioning without giving all the power to arrogant, amoral dicks whose only concern is improving their own status,” said Mumbai software designer Ankan Rao,% lookin 1 Quote
Members RA1 Posted July 3, 2014 Members Posted July 3, 2014 Now you are having 5 martini high power business lunches? Best regards, RA1 MsGuy 1 Quote
AdamSmith Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 The tremors were in either the forum software or my Internet connection. Not, regrettably, my mouse-wielding posting hand. Quote
Members RA1 Posted July 3, 2014 Members Posted July 3, 2014 You have a mouse in your hand? OK, old joke. Similar to we, which prompts the inquiry, do you have a mouse in your pocket? All nonsense. Happy Independence Day. Best regards, RA1 Quote
Members RA1 Posted July 5, 2014 Members Posted July 5, 2014 Well, which is it? Are they pretty or undocumented? Best regards, RA1 Quote
