Members Popular Post lookin Posted October 12, 2013 Members Popular Post Posted October 12, 2013 Resetting Your Password: "Sorry, your password has been in use for 30 days and has expired - you must register a new one." roses "Sorry, too few characters." pretty roses "Sorry, you must use at least one numerical character." 1 pretty rose "Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces." 1prettyrose "Sorry, you must use at least 10 different characters." 1fuckingprettyrose "Sorry, you must use at least one upper case character." 1FUCKINGprettyrose "Sorry, you cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively." 1FuckingPrettyRose "Sorry, you must use no fewer than 20 total characters." 1FuckingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessRightFuckingNow! "Sorry, you cannot use punctuation." 1FuckingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessRightFuckingNow "Sorry, that password is already in use." JKane, Lucky, AdamSmith and 2 others 5 Quote
Guest hitoallusa Posted October 12, 2013 Posted October 12, 2013 Oh my Lookin that's a lot of bad words in one sentence... Quote
Members Lucky Posted October 12, 2013 Members Posted October 12, 2013 And a joke: A lady walked into a drugstore and told the pharmacist she needed some cyanide right away. The pharmacist naturally was concerned by such a request and asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”The lady then explained that she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he said, “I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband! That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license. They’ll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not! You cannot have any cyanide!” The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well, now. You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.” One more joke? A man is walking in a graveyard when he hears the Third Symphony played backward. When it’s over, the Second Symphony starts playing, also backward, and then the First. “What’s going on?” he asks a cemetery worker. “It’s Beethoven,” says the worker. “He’s decomposing.” *** Since we're on a roll, here's my kind of toilet: MsGuy, wayout, AdamSmith and 1 other 4 Quote
Members lookin Posted October 12, 2013 Members Posted October 12, 2013 Oh my Lookin that's a lot of bad words in one sentence... You should be here when my cable bill arrives. AdamSmith and wayout 2 Quote
Guest hitoallusa Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 I don't know why but that poem reminds me of a day, I thanked God and my mom several times for a new pair of shoes when I was a kid.. A new pair of shoes somehow make me feel like that I'm heading to a great place.. If I were artistic enough I would be a designer but I'm so.. I will just buy nice shoes... lol.. For Hito Quote
AdamSmith Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 Amazing -- one for both me and hito... Quote
Members RA1 Posted October 13, 2013 Members Posted October 13, 2013 I would have preferred the boy to say, "Either one of my gay...." Best regards, RA1 JKane 1 Quote
Guest hitoallusa Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 I love this kid.. I want a son who could say such a thing.. Quote
Guest EXPAT Posted October 16, 2013 Posted October 16, 2013 Q: If Ted Cruz & John Boehner were on a sinking ship, who would be saved? A: America. Quote
Members RA1 Posted October 19, 2013 Members Posted October 19, 2013 AdamSmith, on 19 Oct 2013 - 11:20 AM, said: [/quote Only ONE in five? Best regards, RA1 AdamSmith 1 Quote
AdamSmith Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 New, Improved Obamacare Program Released On 35 Floppy Disks News in Brief • government • barack obama • healthcare • News • ISSUE 49•43 • Oct 21, 2013 WASHINGTON—Responding to widespread criticism regarding its health care website, the federal government today unveiled its new, improved Obamacare program, which allows Americans to purchase health insurance after installing a software bundle contained on 35 floppy disks. “I have heard the complaints about the existing website, and I can assure you that with this revised system, finding the right health care option for you and your family is as easy as loading 35 floppy disks sequentially into your disk drive and following the onscreen prompts,” President Obama told reporters this morning, explaining that the nearly three dozen 3.5-inch diskettes contain all the data needed for individuals to enroll in the Health Insurance Marketplace, while noting that the updated Obamacare software is mouse-compatible and requires a 386 Pentium processor with at least 8 MB of system RAM to function properly. “Just fire up MS-DOS, enter ‘A:\>dir *.exe’ into the command line, and then follow the instructions to install the Obamacare batch files—it should only take four or five hours at the most. You can press F1 for help if you run into any problems. And be sure your monitor’s screen resolution is at 320 x 200 or it might not display properly.” Obama added that the federal government hopes to have a six–CD-ROM version of the program available by 2016. http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-improved-obamacare-program-released-on-35-flop,34294/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview:2:Default Quote
AdamSmith Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 God Reveals He Occasionally Eats Humans News • religion • God • News • ISSUE 49•42 • Oct 18, 2013 The Divine Creator says He enjoys eating a human being from time to time “as a snack.” THE HEAVENS—Speaking candidly during a rare interview this Thursday, God Almighty, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, revealed to the public that He occasionally eats human beings. The Supreme Being, who spoke to reporters today about His dietary habits, said that Homo sapiens don’t comprise a regular part of His food consumption, but noted that every once in a while He “feels like eating a human” and will then pick one out from earth and eat the person alive. “It’s not something I do very often, but yes, I have been known to eat humans from time to time,” said God, claiming that while He didn’t consider human beings “an everyday kind of meal, per se,” they do occasionally make for a decent snack. “In fact, sometimes I’ll suddenly catch myself nibbling on a human being without even realizing it. They’re nice and chewy and bite-size, and there’s always a lot of them just lying around so I figure, hey, why not.” “Sometimes I put the remains back where I found them and make it look like a murder or something,” the Eternal One continued. “But most of the time I forget to do that and the person just disappears.” Saying that He had no personal taste preferences for gender or race, the Maker of Heaven and Earth reported being open to eating human beings from all across the world and remarked that every few years He would scoop His hands across one of the world’s major coastlines and pick out a variety of human beings to eat at once. He Who Commanded Light to Shine Out of Darkness also told reporters that while He once tended to eat human beings who were elderly or infirm, He recently found that eating people in their prime “tasted just as good, so no reason not to eat them too.” “My favorite part is the legs,” The Divine Creator proclaimed. “Usually, when I pick out a human being, I’ll tear off their legs from the rest of their body and eat them first. Then I’ll eat the arms and then the heads.” “If I have more room left then I eat the rest of the body,” He added. “But by then I’m usually full, so I throw it away.” The all-knowing, all-powerful deity also acknowledged that though He doesn’t technically require any form of edible sustenance at all to survive, He simply “enjoys the taste of human beings” and planned on continuing to eat more for the foreseeable future. When asked if He felt any qualms about devouring the very members of creation that He made in His own image, God simply stated, “No.” “Back in the early days of humanity, I definitely ate way more humans than I do now,” said God, remarking that He would regularly eat handfuls of human beings throughout every day of the Middle Pleistocene epoch. “But over the millennia, I’ve definitely eaten my share of human beings…Jimmy Hoffa, Ambrose Bierce, the Lindbergh baby, every dead body that’s ever existed, Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, The Big Bopper…” “Hell, I even ate Jesus Christ,” God added. “That was a good meal.” http://www.theonion.com/articles/god-reveals-he-occasionally-eats-humans,34264/ Quote
