The Importance of Money

[TotallyOz]

I have a guy I have been a friend with for a few years. He is Thai and has a child and a girlfriend.

 

I have never really understood the Thai mindset and sat down with my boyfriend and this guy last night and chatted for a few hours. The boy had been getting cash from his boyfriend (another farang) on a regular basis when I was in Thailand before.

 

When I came here, he called my boyfriend as they were good friends and wanted to see us and I was glad to see him again.

 

I asked about his family and his daughter. He said he couldn’t see the daughter as the mother of the girl would not let it happen anymore and the girlfriend was not allowed to see him either. This had me puzzled so I went further into this and he said the mother kicked him out of the house when his farang boyfriend stopped sending money to him. I asked if the mother minded if the boy was getting money from a gay foreigner and he said no as long as the money was coming in, she didn’t care where it came from or how he earned it. He said the mother really didn’t care if the boy was selling yabba or working in a bar. The bottom line was: Do you have money to help?

 

My boyfriend confirmed this as he had a similar thing happen to him where he was kicked out of a girl’s life because he stopped working in the bars many years ago. This was way before me and when I met him he was not working in the bars.

 

I guess I never realized how important the money that someone sends to Thailand is to not only that person but to a host of others.

 

I was lucky enough to meet a lad in Chiang Mai that I was very generous with. Only one but he was special and I did spoil him. I do hope that he is able to take the money I gave to him and put it to good use. I think he is smart enough to do this and I can’t wait to see him again on my next trip there so hear his story and what direction he took in life.

 

Hopefully, those of us that support someone realize that they depend on us and need us for long periods of time and when he money dries up so do many things in their life. When you are lucky enough to find a guy that actually appreciates the money and puts it to good use, it is a wonderful joy to know you are helping someone to better his life. I thank my lucky stars that I found an amazing boyfriend who is honest and caring. There are as few of them around as there are Jai Dee farangs to take good care of them.

 

It is often hard to walk in the shoes of another but the more of these stories I hear from friends, the easier it gets for me to understand the "system" here in Thailand. Each trip I learn a little bit more and something clicks in my mind that says, "Ah, I get it now." This was one of those occasions.

[Guest LP]

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[Guest]

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It is important, however, not to confuse it with true feelings be it love, friendship or respect.

If someone believes that, say, he needs to fly his straight bf to Isaan every weekend because the guy cannot miss Sunday school, it is O'K until money is there and it is a part of a fantasy game...

 

I do believe that most relationships here start with lust. I know mine do. The longer you are with someone, the more that develops from lust into friendship and love. The current bf and I have been together almost 4 years. We have had ups and downs. As my dear friend LMTU can attest, the BF is hot and sweet and luckily LMTU helped me early on to understand more about him and how to keep him happy and content in life. I don't think I would have been with him as long as I have without his advice. I had one friend who kept telling me the Golden Rule of Thailand and that is "he who holds the gold rules and makes all the decisions." I have never once treated a boy like that and luckily I didn't take his advice but listened to a more intelligent and kind man who had more experience with Alpha males. I often get drilled about why I adore LMTU so much and the answer is simple: he is always there for good advice and his advice normally has both the Farang and the boy's interest at heart. His advice to me certainty helped me maintain a long time relationship and helped me to see it for what it was without any misconceptions or fantasies.

 

Is it the romantic love that so many dream of being the "one true love." Hell no. Not in my case and not in most I know. But, I have no doubt that the boyfriend does actually love me. It is not the lustful, take me to the top of the roof and fuck my brains out kind of sexually love. Or, the bring me roses on Valentines Day and cook me a special dinner and tell me he loves me 100 times. But, there is history there and with history, there is always a deeper attachment. I don't necessarily call that love but I also don't discount it for what it is. He is honest with me and I with him. He has a lady and that is perhaps the kind of love that most hope for. It is not what I want. I much prefer someone who is honest and caring and takes good care of me when I am here. I don't have higher expectations. But, at the same time I have been with many guys here for long periods of time. As long as they are honest with me, I don't care if they have a lady or 4 ladyboys or even a son or daughter. It really is inconsequential to me. I want him to be happy and sexually satisfied. Do I think that I fulfill those things for him? No, I don't. Hell, he is not gay. So, I hope he is getting it somewhere he wants. And, yes, I do know that is normally with a lady or a ladyboy. For me, I am happy to know that his needs are satisfied. I have never expected monogamy from a BF. I don't give it to them and don't ask for it in return. I do think that asking a BF to be monogamous when the Farang isn't is only asking for lies and deceit.

 

And, yes, I do know that he goes to school and that is important to me. I have seen him there and I see his paper and work that he brings home. I only wish that more guys would take the time to go to school and finish their education in this country. I do feel it is the only way out of the bar scene for many and hope one day to spend the vast majority of my time and money to help others realize this goal.