Members lookin Posted January 14, 2013 Members Share Posted January 14, 2013 Love you Lookin... Right back atcha, Hi. The last time I saw so many softballs was when Coach moved me into Girl's P. E. citylaw1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lookin Posted January 14, 2013 Members Share Posted January 14, 2013 You wouldn't know it from the blatant highjacking, but I've been thinking a lot about the original question. When I first met my partner, he was just moving to the big city and I already had a good job. Even though I was already paying the rent and could handle food and entertainment for two, it was important to me that he find a job and help share expenses. Like the OP, I wanted a relationship where both of us contributed financially. In retrospect, I wish I had been less hidebound. We drifted apart after a few years and then got back together at a time when he wasn't able to work a regular forty-hour week. By then, I was earning more than I needed and had a much broader view of the different kinds of relationships that were possible. I was happy to cover things financially, as that was easy for me. And, for a period of time when it wasn't, he dipped into his savings to help with expenses. And he did a great job of making sure we were both having fun. Recently, I stayed with a couple of friends who have been together for a long time. One of the guys takes care of most of the expenses, while the other guy has created a beautiful home and makes sure there's a gourmet meal on the table every evening. Though I think it's possible to have an unhealthy relationship where one person is a giver and the other is a taker, I've come to the conclusion that there are a lot of healthy relationships where both partners give what they are best at and that financial contribution is only one small part of what makes a good partnership. It may be good to be wary until trust builds up in a relationship but, once that happens, I think that caring for one another, however that is shown, is by far the most important thing. JKane and flipao 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest hitoallusa Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 What a beautiful perspective on relationships here.. How can some biased people deny gay relationships after reading real and beautiful relationships we find among us... I personally don't mind sharing what I have with people I love but will not like it when people take advantage of me.. But as a wiseman once told me that being able to give is a blessing so I will continue to give... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest NCBored Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 You wouldn't know it from the blatant highjacking, but I've been thinking a lot about the original question. When I first met my partner, he was just moving to the big city and I already had a good job. Even though I was already paying the rent and could handle food and entertainment for two, it was important to me that he find a job and help share expenses. Like the OP, I wanted a relationship where both of us contributed financially. In retrospect, I wish I had been less hidebound. We drifted apart after a few years and then got back together at a time when he wasn't able to work a regular forty-hour week. By then, I was earning more than I needed and had a much broader view of the different kinds of relationships that were possible. I was happy to cover things financially, as that was easy for me. And, for a period of time when it wasn't, he dipped into his savings to help with the mortgage and other expenses. And he did a great job of making sure we were both having fun. Recently, I stayed with a couple of friends who have been together for a long time. One of the guys takes care of most of the expenses, while the other guy has created a beautiful home and makes sure there's a gourmet meal on the table every evening. Though I think it's possible to have an unhealthy relationship where one person is a giver and the other is a taker, I've come to the conclusion that there are a lot of healthy relationships where both partners give what they are best at and that financial contribution is only one small part of what makes a good partnership. It may be good to be wary until trust builds up in a relationship but, once that happens, I think that caring for one another, however that is shown, is by far the most important thing. As usual, a thoughtful and articulate response. i started this topic because I found it interesting that a number of people here seemed to be "picking up the tab' for their 'boyfriends' and i wasn;t sure how that was different from 'boytoy'. I put "boyfriends" in quotes because that was the term they were using. We don't all use the term in the same way - in the context of the discussion, I was thinking of 'boyfriend' as something less than a 'partner'. I was curious if the practice had to do with financial disparities or some obligation/expectation based on roles (top, mentor, etc.) For the record, it was never my intent to be judgmental. If my financial resources were significantly greater than those of someone I cared about, I wouldn't hesitate to carry more of the load. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiBottomBoy Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 It's never too soon to be topped. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
