Everything's Bigger In Texas – Boytoy's Gay Guide To Austin

[TotallyOz]

As some of you know, I have been spending a lot of time in Texas the past few years and Austin has become my city to use for Delta flights so I thought I'd write a little bit about Austin. I hope you enjoy!

Play that funky music gay boy! It's time for a hoe-down because today I'm going to give you the skinny on the hottest stop in Texas for boy toys, gay boys and the men who love to meet their meat – Austin!

Now, Texas doesn't have the greatest reputation in the world as a gay-friendly place to visit, but Austin is different. While the rest of Texas is most certainly a red state, Austin is as blue as your balls after four days of not getting off.

The city is one of the most queer-friendly places to go in America – and it's just as easy to get your gay on here as it is in New York or San Francisco, but everything is cheaper. You won't bust your budget just to cum down to Austin and bust your nut.

Even better? Winter doesn't happen in Austin. It's warm all year 'round. And while it is certainly hot in Austin in summer, it's nearly perfect weather in fall and winter – so if you want to escape the snow and cum someplace warm, Austin is the place for you.

The downside to Austin is that there isn't a lot of great public transportation, and there is a lot of sprawl. Therefore you'll have to do a fair amount of driving to get to the various gay bars and clubs. If possible, when planning a night on the town, plan to go out with someone and take turns being the designated driver.

If you are on your own on your vacation and do want to pound some booze, you can take advantage of the city's Square Patrol Service. Between 10 p.m. and 3 a.m. they will show up and drive you back to your hotel. You do, however, have to have your own car. They are a designated driver service and not a taxi service. Most bars have fliers telling you how to contact them.

The number one reason people decide to visit Austin is because it has one of the most interesting and thriving music scenes in America. No matter what type of tunes turn you on, you'll find it here at any of the hundreds of bars and clubs scattered around the city.

Of course, the most famous music event in Austin is the annual South By Southwest (SXSW) festival held every March. More than 1,400 performers a year show up to play music for four days. It is the largest music festival in America, and you'll find every type of music possible represented at the various tents, stages and other venues. And, who doesn't want to be surrounded by tens of thousands of boys jumping around and getting sweaty all day and all night!

A fair amount of the gay scene in Austin is centered around the University Of Austin. This makes sense because when they get to school here is when many young Texans finally tip their hat and come out of the closet. When they graduate, they remain living near the school and bars, clubs, restaurants and gay book stores have cropped up to meet their needs.

So, you should definitely walk around the university and the gayborhood around it – both for the delicious young eye candy and the opportunities to find your own vacation boy toy to bound around with between the sheets! While at the university, you'll want to get on the tour to climb up the famous UT tower, which offers the most breathtaking views of Austin in the entire city.

The unofficial slogan of the city is “Keep Austin Weird.” You'll find posters, bumper stickers and T-shirts to that effect wherever you go. Perhaps the best example of why this slogan is true is the city's most popular tourist attraction – bats!

Yes, you read that correctly. The city is the home to an estimated 1.5 million Mexican free tailed bats. Every night at dusk, they fly out of their caves and into the night sky to cruise for bugs for dinner.

It's easy to check them out by going to any high point during sunset, though locals will tell you that the Austin American Statesman's parking lot is the best place to check out the view. Don't worry, they won't suck your blood - they don't like to eat mammals.

The most typical Austin event is Eeyore's Birthday Party, which features a giant statue of Pooh's best friend dressed up as the Statue of Liberty. It is held the last Saturday of every April ,and attracts a huge number of gays and lesbians who are out to party hard to celebrate spring (which is the mating time, am I right boys?)

For an even better example of just how weird Austin can get, you can go to the annual SPAMARAMMA event – an entire party designed to celebrate the potted meat dish. People hold gourmet SPAM cooking competitions and drink and dance the night away while stuffing themselves.

If you are looking for a queer-themed activity for your gaycation, the Austin Gay And Lesbian Film Festival is the oldest in America and attracts a loyal following every September. That's the same month the city hosts the largest Gay Pride Parade in the Southwest, so you can combine both activities at once for a cockalicious experience!

When you want to think pink (and really, when don't you), the Texas State Capitol Building is a must-see. Made entirely out of pink granite, and is larger than the U.S. Capitol. (Well, everything is bigger in Texas, so what would you expect?) The building is open to the public, so you can wander around and get in touch with a bit of Texas history.

Speaking of which, your next stop would probably be the LBJ Presidential Library. This is the heart of any historical tour of Austin. It has rotating exhibits dedicated to the one Texas president who actually gave a shit about civil rights.

If you want to just walk around and cruise a bit, head over to Zilker Park where you can hike for several miles around Town Lake. It's not only one of the most beautiful walks to be found anywhere, there is also a huge hook-up culture in the park at night, so it's a good place to go if you want to beat around the bush!

So, my wonder fags, twinks, bears and boy toys! If you want to check out the Lone Star State, Austin is where you want to cum and have fun! Hope to see you there!

[Guest EXPAT]

Nice article. My grad school roommate lives there and I have never visited him. I've only been in Austin on business. Texas has never been a favorite place to go, but that description above makes it very inviting.

[Guest hitoallusa]

Wow very enticingly written.. You write like the writers of Who Knew...

[BiBottomBoy]

How much bigger in Texas?

[TotallyOz]

How much bigger in Texas?

Well, that all depends. Are you a size queen? If so, you will be very happy with the boys in Austin. However, if you are a REAL Size Queen, and you last 20 boyfriends have been from Dominican Republic, you might not be so happy.

[BiBottomBoy]

The biggest I've experienced have been on North Africans.

I can't comment on dominicans.

[Guest hitoallusa]

I don't like big dicks.. My ideal size is about 6 inch... It's personality that matters..

[BiBottomBoy]

Personality is important if they have a small dick.

[TownsendPLocke]

I really enjoyed Austin. Great Food, nice folks and GREAT eye candy. The Lady Bird Johnson nature preserve is a wonderful place to admire the wildflowers.

I hope to return soon.

[JKane]

I've also enjoyed Austin the most of any city I've visited in Texas. It's no New Orleans, but it's a lot of fun! Though I did have a bad escort experience there once. As always, letting the little head do the thinking and hiring off of Rentboy instead of a review have their downsides...

[Theolover]

Austin sounds great.. thanks

[Guest hitoallusa]

Next time please write something about Raleigh North Carolina too when you get a chance..

[BiBottomBoy]

What's happening in Ralheigh?

[Guest hitoallusa]

Well gays leave because it's a bit boring.. Not to me at all.. I want something exciting written about it..

What's happening in Ralheigh?

[TotallyOz]

I really enjoyed Austin. Great Food, nice folks and GREAT eye candy. The Lady Bird Johnson nature preserve is a wonderful place to admire the wildflowers. I hope to return soon.

I agree with you. The food is great. I have stayed at the Intercontinental Hotel there several times in the last year. To be honest, the hotel needs a lot of work. But, the restaurant attached to it has some of the most amazing food. I love their Jalapeno Macaroni. There are so many different nice restaurants in the city that I really enjoy it.

Also, I sign on to Grindr and I get a ton of boys in my area.

[AdamSmith]

I can't comment on dominicans.

I can. OZ is correct.

[TotallyOz]

I can. OZ is correct.

Yes, Adam but you can also comment on 100 other countries. At least.

[TotallyOz]

Actually, when I was in law school, I had a map up of the world on my wall. I put a pin in each country for every one I had visited (with a guy). I got well on the way before the first boyfriend tried to slow me down.

My goal was 100 countries visited. I am happy to say I was slutty enough to meet this goal heads on!

It was funny as I would meet some guy from Ghana and he would not interest me at all until he told me where he was from. I would think think back to which country I needed. LOL I got lost in Brazil and Mexico too many times but I finally was able to get a FF ticket to other locations.

[AdamSmith]

At least.

Pregnant phrase.

(In Paris consulting one time, I was with 2 software execs who were also mathematicians. Talking about a highly regarded colleague who taught at the Sorbonne, one said: "Does he have a Ph.D.?" The other exclaimed: "At least!")

Counting down the countries: One of the best-hung escorts I ever hired was a tall statuesque M2F TVTS in NYC who was from Somalia. What a beauty.

[RA1]

But was he an RD?

Best regards,

RA1

(Real Doctor aka MD)

[AdamSmith]

But was he an RD?

Best regards,

RA1

(Real Doctor aka MD)

No, he had no idea how to do anything useful.

...As I said, he taught at the Sorbonne.

Actually, he developed some software that was subsequently used to design French fighter aircraft. So I take that back.

[RA1]

I think it depends upon which side used them.

Best regards,

RA1

[AdamSmith]

I think it depends upon which side used them.

Only too true!

(There is some pun here about "Gaulle-ing" but I will resist. )

[Guest FourAces]

OZ a very nice article on a fun city. I wish you might have included some of the gay establishments / bars you have visited as well. Whenever I am in Austin its generally to meet someone specific I have not had much luck finding many gay destinations in this remarkable city.

[BiBottomBoy]

Glad I'm not the only one who finds shemales sexually interesting.

Ever check out Kimber James?