So You're A Top Or A Bottom - Why?

[Guest FourAces]

As gay men I think the majority of us like to give and get head ... but from that point we tend to drift to different directions. Some of us become tops and others bottoms. What drives us to become one or the other .... I realize being gay is not learned experience but we are born this way. However, is sexual position a learned experience? If so did we gravitate to our respectful positions as young boys or much later in life?

[Guest EXPAT]

I'm mostly a top but I'd like the idea of being a bottom but just don't like the actual execution of the act. Maybe someday.

[Suckrates]

I think most of it is instinctive, and then Learned. but I truly believe you cant really KNOW until you try something. I tried bottoming, HATED IT every time and with every partner.... Topping, not so my my niche either. Cocksucking I took to like a duck to water. Some people are just made to wear the badge of "Cocksucker"...

[Guest hitoallusa]

I like intimacy..Cuddling and kissing is my favorite activity... I don't like to top or bottom.. But bottom for top guys.. I enjoy being with a guy than sex. I don't like oral that much either. I used to like rimming for the right guys but got infected with parasites so after that I stopped rimming altogether.

[Guest NCBored]

I've heard a lot of guys speak of starting as tops but then later learning that they enjoy (or prefer) bottoming. I'm not sure if something in their mental or emotional makeup changed, or if they just became more open to the idea. I do think there is still a general belief that tops are more 'masculine' (Please note I'm NOT saying that's what I believe.), so some guys are less comfortable with the idea of bottoming.

I bottomed exactly five times in my early years of sexual activity and never liked it. On the last occasion, I sustained a small tear and decided that the as the end of bottoming for me! But I think a lot of it has to with control issues, in my case - being uncomfortable 'yielding' to someone else.

[Guest lurkerspeaks]

Personally, I think it is a mental thing--relating to control, submission, etc.. and just whether or not a person can relax and trust..

For years, I was primarily a top, mainly because of the fear/lack of ability to relax and enjoy..but I always wanted to bottom more.. Once i learned to relax and enjoy, I have found that bottoming is quite pleasurable with the right person. Also, as I have gotten older (and fatter), I find it is "less work" to be the bottom than to be the top..

[Guest Hoover42]

Never topped, and rarely bottomed. Though for some reason, I find "Best Bottom" photo contests fascinating. Maybe I better try topping once while I still can (I hope!)

[BigK]

I love ass. Have tried to bottom (a couple of times with Jason Carter) but I don't think I can give up control. Would be happy to be proved wrong someday, but don't try very often.