Should I Open The Door?

[Guest FourAces]

Recently I've been having thoughts of totally coming out. I'm not really sure why I have been having these thoughts. Maybe I think it will change my life as I approach my senior years or maybe I feel I can be myself 100% of the time ... I really am confused lol. Currently I'm only out as a as needed to know basis.

I guess I'm wondering if any of you guys came out later in life (over 40 or 50) and if so what was the experience like? Are you happier? Did it really make a difference in the quality of your life?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qe7iYcIwArw

[TotallyOz]

FourAces, I came out at 28. But, I came flying out the door! It was massive and I had to tell everyone. I have never regretted it and I love being open and honest with friends and family. I have no regrets about this at all.

I was not in in 50's yet but I think the same principle applies. Only you know what it will be like but I did loose some friends but looking back, they were not good enough for me anyway and I gained much more in the end.

I wish you well in whatever you decide!

Hugs and kisses,

Oz

[Guest hitoallusa]

Good luck Four Aces... Hope you can do what is the best for you. I haven't come out to my immediate family since they are very conservative. My friends know that I'm gay since I haven't married and I'm a little girlish in my taste and don't understand sports. I played soccer because the guy I liked played it.

[Guest FourAces]

This is something I am gonna have to really think about .. I just hope I do not over think it.

[Guest gcursor]

FourAces, I wish you well in your decision as it is a difficult one to be sure. When my parents found out that I had slept with a guy (I was in my 20s), my mother went up to live at my Aunt's cabin about 50 miles away. She called us and said that she wouldn't be coming back unless I stopped sleeping with guys. At the time, my dad said that I should stop doing it so the family could get back together.

Reluctantly I told mom that I would stop sleeping with guys. However I kept doing it but didn't let people know about what was going on. Over the years, I slowly learned how to ease my parents into my lifestyle. I once drove around with the pride sticker on my car and all that stuff but I stopped doing that. Nowadays I don't really broadcast that information although when I posted it on FACEBOOK a few months back that I was gay, my following of friends,relatives, and others simply were not surprised at all

I still tend to keep a low profile though because I'm always worried that a prospective employer may see me at the Leather Fair in San Francisco doing something unthinkable. I remember years ago when my bf at the time (we were living together) wanted me to go to the Pride march with him. I said that I couldn't because I had just started my job at this company. I told him that I wanted to work several years for this company and didn't want to take the chance (no matter how remote). I actually did end up working several years at that compny (it was the last company that downsized me).

Whatever you decide I'm sure will be right for you and I wish you well in your choice.

[Lucky]

I would like to know what argument(s) you muster against coming out? I, too, debated for years on this, and finally came out. After I did, I wished I had done it so much sooner. Obviously, your experience is yours, but what is holding back a full coming out, if I may ask?

[Guest FourAces]

Lucky your question is really valid. I have to take into consideration the reaction of my family ... I don't care much about what friends who do not know will think. As for work its a little bit of a concern but again I don't really care much what work will think. There are many out people at my employment.

But family is extremely important to me and I believe this is my biggest concern at the moment.