Guest FourAces Posted September 2, 2012 Share Posted September 2, 2012 By happenstance I met a black twink (not a escort) about a month ago who is into some heavy verbal abuse and moderate S&M and I guess role play. He loves to serve older chub white guys ... hey thats me We have met up three times and I don't feel comfortable meeting again. But maybe I am wrong to think this way. The kid (19y/o so kid to me) loves to feel as if he was a real slave from days gone by. With his desire to feel that he is very turned on by various uses of the N word and all that went on in those days (i.e. lynchings, whites only, being bought & sold at auction) lets just say MLK would be spinning in his grave. The kid sets civil rights back 100 years. The issue I have is I am very uncomfortable with continuing with this part of our hook ups .. the whole N word and related awful things from years past. He on the other hand needs this to fill his desires. Am I being too much a pussy or old hippie here and should I continue or simply move on? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members marcanthony Posted September 2, 2012 Members Share Posted September 2, 2012 my response is just extremely practical. you are hooking up to have fun and feel good. if what you have to do makes you NOT feel this way, then it's probably not worth it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members axiom2001 Posted September 3, 2012 Members Share Posted September 3, 2012 Tell the young man to learn and study his history; therefore, [perhaps] he would not want to role play in this manner any more! School the chap in that he can be "fucked over" big time without having any parts of this history or our country replicated in fantasy or reality! After our first meeting, I WOULD NOT desire to see him again regardless of my having liked him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TampaYankee Posted September 3, 2012 Members Share Posted September 3, 2012 my response is just extremely practical. you are hooking up to have fun and feel good. if what you have to do makes you NOT feel this way, then it's probably not worth it. Ditto. Skip the preaching to him about what he's doing. The last thing he needs is to have a white guy tell him how to be a proud African American, even if you know. It doesn't add to his self esteem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MsGuy Posted September 3, 2012 Members Share Posted September 3, 2012 Skip the preaching... The last thing he needs is to have a white guy tell him how to be a proud African American... ditto Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caeron Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Dominance and submission fantasies are pretty normal and common. The fact that he has this fantasy doesn't mean he has any interest in the reality. If it weirds you out too much, then so be it, but don't presume that because he has a fantasy that he is indulging that he has any issues at all. You may have issues, but that's another story Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest FourAces Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 I think some of you guys are right. It really has taken the fun out of it for me so I am gonna pass on him. I kind of knew that but was just looking to make sure I was not overreacting. Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest CharliePS Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Don't forget that he is play-acting, which is something we expect/demand of escorts all the time. He almost certainly would not want the scene if it were the real thing, imposed by a genuine slave-master. After all, he knows that he is only playing out a fantasy scene with you. It's pretty much impossible to reason someone out of his sexual fantasies; however, the fact that you are uncomfortable with the script is a valid reason for your not wanting to continue, and you have the right to tell him so, without telling him that he is wrong to have the fantasy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JKane Posted September 3, 2012 Members Share Posted September 3, 2012 I don't see the fantasy as inherently abhorrent, I've thought about it from the other side from time to time... BUT it comes down to you're the one paying so it's about what makes YOU horny. 19yr old twink/jock boys can indulge THEIR fantasies on THEIR time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest CharliePS Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 I don't see the fantasy as inherently abhorrent, I've thought about it from the other side from time to time... BUT it comes down to you're the one paying so it's about what makes YOU horny. 19yr old twink/jock boys can indulge THEIR fantasies on THEIR time! But FourAces specified that the kid is NOT an escort, so it's all about mutual desires. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JKane Posted September 3, 2012 Members Share Posted September 3, 2012 But FourAces specified that the kid is NOT an escort, so it's all about mutual desires. Ah yes, missed that! Give the boy what he wants, tie him up and call him boy! ;o) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest NCBored Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 my response is just extremely practical. you are hooking up to have fun and feel good. if what you have to do makes you NOT feel this way, then it's probably not worth it. This is the key - if its uncomfortable, stop. There's no way for any of us to know what's going on in HIS head, so just heed your own feelings. I've been in similar situations, and regardless of whether the issues were mine or the other guy's..bottom line, it ceased to be fun for ME. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest FourAces Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 A observation of mine ... I know the kid is role playing and I can appreciate any persons sexual fantasy ... I have a few of my own ... however, I believe the guy has some real emotional issues and wouldn't mind breaking the fantasy barrier and turning it into reality. Of course if he ever could do that he would see how awful things were. I think in part it bothers me because I can tell he has heavy issues and the sex role play is a manifestation of them. It reminds me of the old days and picking up guys on SMB or Balboa Park and you could tell some of those kids were so desperate they would let you do anything to them for a few dollars. I tried to stay away from piking those kids up as I felt my advantage was too great. I did however end up helping many of them probably spending way too much money to cloth and feed them ... they probably thought I was a fool Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mcamp Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 this feels more to me like someone who is attempting to stir shit up than it does someone who is actually and truly concerned about racism. If it takes anyone three paid sexual visits with another person to be concerned about the racism of that person, or his tolerance to that fantasy or expression, then for me, the problem resides with the client, not the escort. Why would any geniuene client of any escort ask other clients what should offend him? Should not your own experience and belief define your own answer for this? why is my text so large? It was not that way to begin with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest NCBored Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 this feels more to me like someone who is attempting to stir shit up than it does someone who is actually and truly concerned about racism. If it takes anyone three paid sexual visits with another person to be concerned about the racism of that person, or his tolerance to that fantasy or expression, then for me, the problem resides with the client, not the escort. Why would any geniuene client of any escort ask other clients what should offend him? Should not your own experience and belief define your own answer for this? why is my text so large? It was not that way to begin with. There is no escort in this situation - the first sentence of the original post says "not an escort". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mcamp Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 I can not imagine a client of mine, who came back to me, three times, after the first time, to then turn around and ask what is wrong with him OR wrong with me. What the hell is that all about? That's just retarted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mcamp Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 There is no escort in this situation - the first sentence of the original post says "not an escort". Escorts are people. The same values should apply. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mcamp Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 If you truly believe that young people are giving up their sexuality, without financial benefit, to people like 4Aces then you are in denial. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest FourAces Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Escorts are people. The same values should apply. hey little boy ... in another error I would rip you to shreds but i am a good community citizen now. But that could always change. Don't make me call my friend Rico up and tell him about you. Now sniffles go about your business you boring whore, oops sorry did I type that? Mabe you should watch the last scene in Pulp Fiction to understand what i am talking about Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mcamp Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Errors are not my issue, Sir. They are yours. When older men embrace younger men, 3x plus, only to then find fault in them, and wonder what is wrong with them, or yourself, then you are open to the dialogue which you now choose to shut down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mcamp Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 When a client of mine, or a non-paid sexual partner returns to me, 3 times, he does not return to me because of his racial beliefs or need to be politically correct. He returns to me because of what he recieved from me sexually. To suggest otherwise, is what drives ignornace further into our world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest NCBored Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 If you truly believe that young people are giving up their sexuality, without financial benefit, to people like 4Aces then you are in denial. If you believe that there aren't any younger guys attracted to older and/or heavier guys, then you know less than you think. I think it's a good bet that you don't know either 4Aces, the escort in question (assuming ti's not you), or exactly what tranmspired, so your qualifications for being so judgmental are inadequate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 This ongoing reference to the younger guy as an escort when FourAces plainly said he is not is a puzzlement. Now, echoing what NC and others note, my experience at age 50+ has been that there are enough attractive guys half my age (or less) willing and happy to get it on for no remuneration of any kind whatever, other than mutual pleasure in the sack. Why do some find this so incredible? It is not as though they were mating outside their species. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest CharliePS Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 A observation of mine ... I know the kid is role playing and I can appreciate any persons sexual fantasy ... I have a few of my own ... however, I believe the guy has some real emotional issues and wouldn't mind breaking the fantasy barrier and turning it into reality. Of course if he ever could do that he would see how awful things were. I think in part it bothers me because I can tell he has heavy issues and the sex role play is a manifestation of them. It reminds me of the old days and picking up guys on SMB or Balboa Park and you could tell some of those kids were so desperate they would let you do anything to them for a few dollars. I tried to stay away from piking those kids up as I felt my advantage was too great. I did however end up helping many of them probably spending way too much money to cloth and feed them ... they probably thought I was a fool Consensual, non-commercial sex with an attractive young man is always appealing, regardless of the acts. In this case, I am now getting the impression that it is not so much the content of the act that makes you uneasy as the fear that you may be reinforcing an unhealthy psychosexual obsession for him, which you are reluctant to do. On the other hand, you may be providing a safe situation in which he can work through his fantasy. Only a professional therapist could determine which is correct in his particular case. The only way you can know which it is would be by becoming much more intimately involved with the young man, and it's clear that you really don't want that responsibility, which is understandable. (Feeling responsible for everyone with whom one has any kind of relationship can become an unhealthy obsession, too.) Your desire to handle the whole thing in an ethical way is commendable. You should probably tell him that you understand his desire for role-play, but that the role he wants you to play is not natural for you, and you wish to discontinue the relationship. You will probably want to warn him that looking for people with whom to play that role is dangerous for him, but at 19, danger is most likely a large part of the attraction for him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mcamp Posted September 8, 2012 Share Posted September 8, 2012 I do not understand the fouraces threat toward me about ripping me to shreds and becoming a rico person. Nor do I care to be referenced here as a little boy. I find this to be nothing less than an assault against me. Words have meanings and when words embrace race, they stand out to me. As an escort with clients now, I have a better understanding of client size and client expectation and hope. I still stand firm with my belief that if old and obese men are paying me for sex, they are probably not getting it alone on their own looks and merit. That's not to say anything about how I feel about these men as people, only a reality I believe that exists with them and most people I see. I've treated all my of clients with respect. Every one of them. I can't say what I would do or say however, if one of them threatened me the way that fouraces did here before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
