Gaybutton Resigns as Moderator

[Gaybutton]

Effective immediately, I am resigning as moderator for this message board.

 

My reasons for this are many, but mainly I reached this decision because continuing as moderator is causing problems between me and too many of those who I consider to be my closest friends. I keep getting caught in the middle of disputes between others on these boards, disputes that have nothing to do with me and are beyond my control. Some of these disputes have become serious. I live here among my friends and I do not want to be forced to take sides.

 

I have repeatedly asked that these disputes be kept off the message board, but that request continues to be ignored and quite frankly I'm tired of dealing with it and ending up caught in the middle of the very thing I keep trying to prevent.

 

I fully intend to continue posting as always (although at the moment I'm unable. My Internet service has been out since Saturday and I'm still waiting for the technicians to show up to fix the problem. I'm posting this from a friend's apartment).

 

Anyway, all I want to do is live my retirement life in peace and remain friends with everyone. It is no longer possible for me to do that in the capacity of moderator, and I have therefore decided to resign.

 

I intend to continue to help GayThailand to the best of my ability, but not in the role of moderator.

[Guest]

Gaybutton has been an amazing moderator and we are very thankful for all his help and advice over the years. I have nothing but good things to say about him and I do understand his decision to quit this thankless job. I also wish him the very best and know that he will continue to make the boards in gay Thailand a much more interesting place with his knowledge and free advice to all who ask.

[PattayaMale]

I am sorry you had to experience that. I feel you were doing a very good job and were trying to be very fair. I wish you the very best and do hope you continue your posting. Your posts were helpful and interesting

[atri1666]

I hope to meet you next week if you have time.

[Bob]

I'm happy you'll continue to occasionally post.....I've enjoyed the information you've provided for many, many, years (here, your prior board, and elsewhere).

 

And don't blame you for resigning as moderator. I would never agree to moderate a forum unless I was given the power to permanently deep-six the occasional dork/bug that irritates. Trusting somebody enough to let them moderate yet not trusting the person enough to give them enough power to tell a dork to go bye-bye is hardly fair or reasonable.

 

Hey, I'll volunteer to moderate, GT, if you need a moderator - but only on the condition that I have the power to ban a pesky idiot or two. Just kidding as, given my occasional lack of patience, I'd be moderating only myself within a few days.....

 

 

[Guest mauRICE]

I think Gaybutton provides very good 'nuts and bolts' information about living in Thailand as a pensioner. I'm sure many appreciate his efforts.

[Guest Jason105]

I certainly do not blame you for not wishing to be caught up in the largely thankless task of moderating the tug-of-war that so often becomes the case on this and other boards as well. With that said, you will be missed. Your approach to most topics seems reasonable and grounded in what we like to call "common sense" but which, in reality is neither common nor sensible for most. Your willingness to be helpful with your time, advice and support make you a valuable member of any community, whether in sunny LOS or here in cyber-space. Hope you enjoy your free time and continue to share here when you get a chance.

All the best,

jason

[Guest Hedda]

I reached this decision because continuing as moderator is causing problems between me and too many of those who I consider to be my closest friends.

I can't think of a better reason to quit. The life of a retired expat in Pattaya is far too good and friends far too enjoyable to squander them on a job you see as interfering with that. Good luck in all your endeavors.

[Guest pete1969]

Thanks for everything GB. I think you are one of the most unfairly portrayed posters on these gay thailand boards. To me, it seems you have always went out of your way to be helpful to as many people as possible (both on the boards and in person), and you have always been a fair and wise poster as well. As long as you continue to post, then all will be well.

 

Pete

[Gaybutton]

I really appreciate all the kind comments. You are all making me feel like Johnny Carson on the day he retired. But I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here posting as always (whether you want me or not). I merely do not wish to be placed in the kind of position having official status places me in anymore. Other than retiring my official status, nothing is going to change.

[Guest stef]

I can't think of a better reason to quit. The life of a retired expat in Pattaya is far too good and friends far too enjoyable to squander them on a job you see as interfering with that. Good luck in all your endeavors.

 

Totally agree with you here. Life of a retired expat here in Thailand should just be about relaxing and enjoying a nice life. Not getting involved in a pissing contest based on personal attack or threats.

GayButton, I always appreciated your efforts as member and moderator. I wish you the best and thanks again for staying around

Hugs & Kisses

[Guest GaySacGuy]

Gaybutton...you will be missed, and the board will not be as good without you. I fully understand your position, and agree completely.

 

In another thread it got a little too warm for GT and Stef, so the thread was closed. Too bad they won't close the cause of nearly all the trouble on this board!!!

 

Best of luck to you GB...hope things get only better!

[Guest namjai]

In email, in the forum, in person...Gaybutton has always been a good friend and helpful with any advise I have asked for.

 

Some people may bitch at the role an active moderator takes, but in my opinion without the mods, the name of the forum will become "Gay Anarchy".

[Guest rainwalker]

As a former moderator of this board, I can say from experience that it is a difficult position, a position where everyone who posts or reads the board believes that you are around simply to service their idea of what you should do.

 

It is sometimes a thankless task.

 

That said, I hope there is a way that GB can continue to contribute to this community in a way that keeps him involved without sacrificing his peace of mind.

 

It might be that the right thing to do would be for he and the other moderators to have a long talk about the future of the board and based on those conversations revise, if necessary, any policies that are in need of updating.

 

Business is an iterative undertaking, where thesis and antithesis merge to become synthesis, where ideas from GB, Stef, and GT along with input from posters can help create an improved GayThailand.com

 

I know how much Gaybutton enjoys his contribution to the board and to the wider community. I hope that there is a way to refocus the situation and help him resolve the conflicts he feels are overwhelming.

 

Regardless of our opinion of his postings (GB is not everyone's cup of tea, nor are any of us), he is a decent man with good ideas and it would be a detriment to this site to lose his long experience as a moderator on this and his own board on a permanent basis.

 

Yup, a long talk is probably in order...

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest GayPattayan]

As one who has "been there, done that ", I can only add to the comments most people have made above. Rainwalker's suggestion of a talk to try to work things through would ordinarily be a wonderful solution, but I gather a great deal of talking and trying to work things through has already taken place.

 

Having worked with (or as some would say, in competition with) Gaybutton over a term of many years, I can only say t hat I regret very deeply seeing Gaybutton feeling forced to leave, in order to do the things and enjoy the life that brought him (and me, and so many others of our friends) to Thailand in the first place: to have a wonderful life, relaxed and relatively carefree, yet with the opportunity to contribute greatly t o our community with his ideas, thoughts, suggestions and knowledge.

 

I consider Gaybutton a long time friend, never really a competitor, with both of us, as so many others on the boards, contributing our thoughts and ideas in the hope that we would help others, especially newcomers or people considering coming here as a place to live and retire) who had not yet experienced the wonders of life in Thailand.

 

I wish there were a "magic wand" to wave and solve some of the somewhat deepseated problems leading Gaybutton to feel he could no longer participate as meaningfully as he intended, and as the board's management obviously also intended. No such wand exists; a chat between the board facilitators almost certainly has already occurred on numerous occasions, and, although I share Rainwalker's wish that a frank serious talk among all those involved could help, I just don't realistically see that happening.

 

My best personal wishes for Gaybutton as he proceeds in his own way to seek an even more enjoyable life here in Thailand, the type of life which has brought so many of us here.

 

"You done good!", Gaybutton. Thanks for all your contributions over the years, and thanks for your personal friendship.

 

Best wishes, GayPattayan

 

 

 

 

As a former moderator of this board, I can say from experience that it is a difficult position, a position where everyone who posts or reads the board believes that you are around simply to service their idea of what you should do.

 

It is sometimes a thankless task.

 

That said, I hope there is a way that GB can continue to contribute to this community in a way that keeps him involved without sacrificing his peace of mind.

 

It might be that the right thing to do would be for he and the other moderators to have a long talk about the future of the board and based on those conversations revise, if necessary, any policies that are in need of updating.

 

Business is an iterative undertaking, where thesis and antithesis merge to become synthesis, where ideas from GB, Stef, and GT along with input from posters can help create an improved GayThailand.com

 

I know how much Gaybutton enjoys his contribution to the board and to the wider community. I hope that there is a way to refocus the situation and help him resolve the conflicts he feels are overwhelming.

 

Regardless of our opinion of his postings (GB is not everyone's cup of tea, nor are any of us), he is a decent man with good ideas and it would be a detriment to this site to lose his long experience as a moderator on this and his own board on a permanent basis.

 

Yup, a long talk is probably in order...

 

[Guest A Rose By Any Other Name]

Effective immediately, I am resigning as moderator for this message board.

 

I keep getting caught in the middle of disputes between others on these boards, disputes that have nothing to do with me and are beyond my control. Some of these disputes have become serious. I live here among my friends and I do not want to be forced to take sides.

 

Sorry GB, but that isn't completely true. I think you created many of these "disputes" yourself. All arguments have two sides -- and you can't have your cake and eat it too. I think it is right for you to step down -- if you can't handle the heat in the kitchen -- get out.

 

In the end it will be better for you -- and better for the board!

 

Happy retirement,

(TR) The Rose

[Guest GaySacGuy]

(TR) [/b]The Rose

 

 

I truely doubt that the board will be better...not until people that I shall leave unnamed are 86'ed. I have found these boards to be a wealth of information on many subjects, and no one has contributed more to the information base than GB.

 

Now...if we could just stick to information and stop the perssonal attacks and infighting!!!!

[Guest paulg]

Sorry GB, but that isn't completely true. I think you created many of these "disputes" yourself. All arguments have two sides -- and you can't have your cake and eat it too. I think it is right for you to step down -- if you can't handle the heat in the kitchen -- get out.

 

In the end it will be better for you -- and better for the board!

 

Happy retirement,

(TR) The Rose

 

 

Gaybutton I have not liked your attitude but have read every post you have made.

 

I have been amazed at your tolerance of one big loud mouth that obviously has some clout

 

with the owner of this forum. I often wonder what that might be.

 

I reject "rose" comments. I doubt if this board will survive now but thanks for your efforts.

 

At least you can stand back and say" I was an honest man"

 

To quote rose above "happpy retirement"

 

 

[Guest paulg]

Sorry GB, but that isn't completely true. I think you created many of these "disputes" yourself. All arguments have two sides -- and you can't have your cake and eat it too. I think it is right for you to step down -- if you can't handle the heat in the kitchen -- get out.

 

In the end it will be better for you -- and better for the board!

 

Happy retirement,

(TR) The Rose

 

 

Gaybutton I have not liked your attitude but have read every post you have made.

 

I have been amazed at your tolerance of one big loud mouth that obviously has some clout

 

with the owner of this forum. I often wonder what that might be.

 

I reject "rose" comments. I doubt if this board will survive now but thanks for your efforts.

 

At least you can stand back and say" I was an honest man"

 

To quote rose above "happpy retirement"

 

 

[Guest luvthai]

I for one am glad that you have re-considered. One can only do the best he can do and if your friends can't accept that then maybe they are not your friends. Keep going.

[Guest xiandarkthorne]

Dear GB,

I am so sorry to hear about the circumstances which forced you to make the drastic decision of resigning because I can certainly understand how unpleasant it must be to get caught between feuding friends. Bet of luck and lots of good times in your retirement.