Members Lucky Posted June 21, 2012 Members Posted June 21, 2012 The newspaper The New York Observer has outed actor Chace Crawford in a recent article on gay celebrities. See who else is discussed in this article on gay and closeted gay celebrities: http://observer.com/...-make-mischief/ (Granted, the paper allowed itself an "out" on Chace, but reading the story one can tell that they really have no doubt.) Quote
Members TampaYankee Posted June 22, 2012 Members Posted June 22, 2012 Generally, I believe it is lamentable to see a person outed by a third party be they media or another individual. People should be respected and their lives should be theirs to live and control. I do not know what goes in to any individual's decision of how to live privately and publicly. It is not my business. But he/she should be allowed the respect to live as they wish as long as they do no active harm to others. The exception is when one's personal life and public life conflict in a that way reveals the person to be a public hypocrite. They give up their right to privacy by their public hypocracy. Quote
Members Lucky Posted June 22, 2012 Author Members Posted June 22, 2012 I agree. But, doesn't an unwillingness to come out indicate that the person thinks there is something wrong about being gay- something that must be hidden? Won't girls still want Chace just as much as men do if he comes out? Quote
Members lookin Posted June 22, 2012 Members Posted June 22, 2012 Good questions, Lucky. When I was in my twenties, even though it was after Stonewall (just barely), I was happy being gay. But those responsible for deciding whether I'd be successful in climbing the corporate ladder in the Fortune-500 company I had just joined would not have been happy. No doubt I'd have been sidelined. Far from an opportunity to be a corporate trailblazer, I'd have thrown away a career I was anxious to build. I came out to family and a few close friends. But I wanted to be successful in the workplace based on what I could do, rather than who I slept with. So my choice, forty years ago, was to keep my life compartmentalized. I don't walk in Chace Crawford's shoes, or anyone else's. I don't know what his advisors are telling him about the career effect of coming out versus letting his preference remain a topic of conjecture. Only he knows that. So, personally, I'm content to let him make his own decision. If he wants my advice, he knows where to find me. MsGuy 1 Quote
Members MsGuy Posted June 22, 2012 Members Posted June 22, 2012 As usual, lookin says what I think, just with a lot more nuance and finesse than I could ever pull off. Or maybe I think what I think because lookin put it so well. I'm easily led. Quote
Members TampaYankee Posted June 22, 2012 Members Posted June 22, 2012 I agree. But, doesn't an unwillingness to come out indicate that the person thinks there is something wrong about being gay- something that must be hidden? Of course not. That does not follow at all. People want to be free in all societies but in some societies expressing that interest publicly can be counter productive to one's livelihood and possibly life. Not to publicly express that does not mean that someone thinks it wrong, only that it can be damaging to one's welfare. A lot of progress has been made in gay rights recently but, like it or not, there is a lot of homophobia in this country, more in some places than others, more in some families than others. That can be detrimental to livelihood interests and personal relationships. It is up to each individual to weigh the importance and risks for each of those interests on one's life. Quote
Members Lucky Posted June 22, 2012 Author Members Posted June 22, 2012 Good questions, Lucky. When I was in my twenties, even though it was after Stonewall (just barely), I was happy being gay. But those responsible for deciding whether I'd be successful in climbing the corporate ladder in the Fortune-500 company I had just joined would not have been happy. No doubt I'd have been sidelined. Far from an opportunity to be a corporate trailblazer, I'd have thrown away a career I was anxious to build. I came out to family and a few close friends. But I wanted to be successful in the workplace based on what I could do, rather than who I slept with. So my choice, forty years ago, was to keep my life compartmentalized. I don't walk in Chace Crawford's shoes, or anyone else's. I don't know what his advisors are telling him about the career effect of coming out versus letting his preference remain a topic of conjecture. Only he knows that. So, personally, I'm content to let him make his own decision. If he wants my advice, he knows where to find me. Having recently named you the handsomest of the Hoovilleans that I have met, your posting your pic undermines my credibility! Quote
Members Lucky Posted June 22, 2012 Author Members Posted June 22, 2012 Well, the senior partner of the law firm I first worked for told me when I came out that I could not work there anymore. They relented if I agreed to low key it. Now, many years later, the firm is run by the senior partner's daughter- a lesbian. Quote
Members Suckrates Posted June 22, 2012 Members Posted June 22, 2012 IMO, in most cases of outtings, the information comes as NO surprise to anyone. Did anyone really think Chace was str8? (i know they might have wanted him to be, but did they think he WAS?) . Hell No ! Quote
Members lookin Posted June 23, 2012 Members Posted June 23, 2012 Well, the senior partner of the law firm I first worked for told me when I came out that I could not work there anymore. They relented if I agreed to low key it. Now, many years later, the firm is run by the senior partner's daughter- a lesbian. And the company that I worked for forty years ago is today one of the gay-friendliest companies in the U. S. But that was then and this is now, a divide that many of the younger folks among us did not experience firsthand. Not that I'm not sympathetic to the argument that we all have a calling to be pioneers and make things better for those who follow. And Harry Hay is a god. I wasn't ready though. I was still in the process of proving to myself that a gay boy such as myself could beat the straight boys on their home turf. I wasn't born knowing that, and needed to learn it. Equally important was the knowledge that being gay is only part of who I am. There were other things I believed in too and most of my efforts went in those directions. When I moved to San Francisco in the early seventies, there were a number of men who seemed to have much of their identity revolve around being gay. Had I been one of them, I expect I'd have given more to that cause. Have I shared too much? Well, my point is that we all have our stories, and our reasons for making the decisions we do. Some are complex, as others have said. So I plan to work getting my own act together and let Chace Crawford work on his. If there's a small role for me in his little production, I'd be only too happy. Having recently named you the handsomest of the Hoovilleans that I have met, your posting your pic undermines my credibility! Well, first, you don't get around nearly enough. Second, it has been well over a year since you laid eyes on me and the intervening months have not been kind. Quote
TotallyOz Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 I agree. But, doesn't an unwillingness to come out indicate that the person thinks there is something wrong about being gay- something that must be hidden? Won't girls still want Chace just as much as men do if he comes out? No, I don't think so. Sometimes it is purely business. Who would go watch a famous lead actor in an action role, if they knew for a fact he was gay? Most gay men who are actors and who come out state that the roles they get were hurt by coming out. Same thing if we found out a famous Rapper was gay. Would he loose part of his black audience? Lastly, what if we heard a potential VP nominee was lesbian. Would that affect her likeability if she were in the conservative Republican party or would they just say, "hell, the going to hell Mormon picked her anyway and we have no fucking choice in order to get the black guy out." Quote
Members Lucky Posted June 23, 2012 Author Members Posted June 23, 2012 I agree that coming out is a personal thing. I did re-read the article I cited, and in the very beginning they hedged their bets on Chace. I guess it was more like covering their ass. But, in my dreams, he is gay, and he wants me...badly! In my other fantasy, I remember what Lookin looks like...after all, it's been almost a year! I'm old too, you know. Quote
Guest FourAces Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 I agree. But, doesn't an unwillingness to come out indicate that the person thinks there is something wrong about being gay- something that must be hidden? Won't girls still want Chace just as much as men do if he comes out? Not at all to any of the above. If someone has cancer and they don't want to share that with the world must they? If someone likes sweet peas shoved up their ass and do not want to share that do they have to because they are a public figure. Your logic means anyone who is gay and refuses to come out is wrong .. and that is way to simplistic. None of us knows the circumstances regarding this young man and if he is gay what harm might come to him for coming out, if any. We need to stop outing people. There is no reason to do so other than to be self serving ... it makes me sick to see stories like the above. Quote
Members Lucky Posted June 23, 2012 Author Members Posted June 23, 2012 In his book, Dropped Names, actor Frank Langella quotes Sir Laurence Olivier on the subject. "And once he said of a young actor who'd never quite succeeded and tried desperately to appear straight: Darling chap, but he just couldn't hide the Nellie. And you know, dear boy, you've got to hide the Nellie." Quote
TotallyOz Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 If someone likes sweet peas shoved up their ass and do not want to share that do they have to because they are a public figure. I am totally insulted that you use my personal desires to have sweet peas shoved up my ass in a post. Just an FYI, I do not cook the peas first so they are a bit harder. As the President of the Sweet Pea Rainbow Coalition, I would appreciate everyone keeping their peas in a pod and not on the forum! Quote
Members Lucky Posted June 23, 2012 Author Members Posted June 23, 2012 Wow! Oz pea'd all over Four Aces there! Quote
Guest FourAces Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 I am totally insulted that you use my personal desires to have sweet peas shoved up my ass in a post. Just an FYI, I do not cook the peas first so they are a bit harder. As the President of the Sweet Pea Rainbow Coalition, I would appreciate everyone keeping their peas in a pod and not on the forum! awesome reply as is Luckys just below errr I guess above now Quote
Members citylaw1 Posted June 27, 2012 Members Posted June 27, 2012 If you want to stay in the closet, you MUST change your name from "Chace." Quote
Members BigK Posted June 28, 2012 Members Posted June 28, 2012 If you want to stay in the closet, you MUST change your name from "Chace." Good point! Quote