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Guest hitoallusa

Lucky please come back!

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Guest hitoallusa

Ha MsGuy now I see where all our money is going to from our joint baking account! Lol ^_^ Lucky where are you we miss you. I hope you are doing well.

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Guest FourAces

OK I will pour gasoline on the fire ... what did I miss? Why is Lucky gone? Did one of you rats forget to pay him his protection money? Seriously what is happening?

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Guest lurkerspeaks

I wish I could join them in March. Unfortunately, I can't get time off that soon. It would be great to be in Rio as the same time as Ambassador Tomcal--anyone would be famous by association in the saunas..

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I take Oz's post as an apology,

An apology for what?

^_^

Hopefully Lucky and Oz will kiss and make up while in Rio..

I'd love to kiss but there is no making up for me as I am not upset or mad. ^_^ But, I most likely won't be able to make it to Rio this go around. I have some things going on that I can't get out of. However, if I do make it down there, I am open for kisses with anyone!

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Thanks, guys, for saying that you want me to come back. I didn't see EXPAT, FourAces, Tampa Yankee, RA1 or eeyore joining in, but then you can't have everybody. Oz says he has nothing to apologize for. Had he not censored my thread, that might be true. Had he not carried on further, that might be true. Had he told the truth, that might be true.

But presently, there is a contest underway at MER. One way to win is to post over 2190 times during the contest period.

On February 9th and 10th, I created threads which, along with being entertaining and drawing one of the higher viewing counts this Forum has seen in a long while, pointed out the difficulty of reaching that posting goal. I would have to post a long thread like that EVERY day until the end of the contest..

Since I am, in fact, the leading poster on the site who is not an administrator, if it is difficult for me to reach, it is certainly out of reach for most other posters.

Yet my thread was doctored to reduce my post count. On one hand, management is telling us to increase posting, on the other it is criticizing and violating the integrity of a poster who tries to win the contest, at least in theory.

Not only was my thread doctored, but management started its own thread, explaining that it had to “Reserve Male Escort Review Rights.” Now I haven’t just posted too much, I am a threat to the website’s rights!

And, as if that is not enough, a new rule was created after the fact, saying that posting over 30 times in an hour is a rule violation. I say after the fact because management cannot, or won’t, cite this rule anywhere in the site’’s rules. I sure had never heard of it. The first of my two long threads received no warning that I was a rule breaker, or on the threshold of it. A simple email, private message, or phone call- a warning of any kind-would have been enough to get me to stop posting another long thread. I didn’t get any of those.

What kind of a contest is it that makes the site’s leading nonadmin poster a threat to the site’s rights?

What kind of contest is it that allows one poster to dominate the forums, pushing other voices aside, however legitimate his posting is? This poster is commended by management, I am censored and labeled a rule breaker.

I have enjoyed posting on the Male Escort Review and am truly grateful for the opportunity that Totally Oz has allowed me. I have tried to resolve this problem in private emails, but did not succeed.

In my opinion, the contest has distorted the site’s values. If this post had a title, it would be “Protecting Male Escort Reviews Values”. I appreciate the calls to come back, but I think that cannot happen until the contest is over.

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Thanks, guys, for saying that you want me to come back. I didn't see EXPAT, FourAces, Tampa Yankee, RA1 or eeyore joining in, but then you can't have everybody. Oz says he has nothing to apologize for. Had he not censored my thread, that might be true. Had he not carried on further, that might be true. Had he told the truth, that might be true.

But presently, there is a contest underway at MER. One way to win is to post over 2190 times during the contest period.

On February 9th and 10th, I created threads which, along with being entertaining and drawing one of the higher viewing counts this Forum has seen in a long while, pointed out the difficulty of reaching that posting goal. I would have to post a long thread like that EVERY day until the end of the contest..

Since I am, in fact, the leading poster on the site who is not an administrator, if it is difficult for me to reach, it is certainly out of reach for most other posters.

Yet my thread was doctored to reduce my post count. On one hand, management is telling us to increase posting, on the other it is criticizing and violating the integrity of a poster who tries to win the contest, at least in theory.

Not only was my thread doctored, but management started its own thread, explaining that it had to “Reserve Male Escort Review Rights.” Now I haven’t just posted too much, I am a threat to the website’s rights!

And, as if that is not enough, a new rule was created after the fact, saying that posting over 30 times in an hour is a rule violation. I say after the fact because management cannot, or won’t, cite this rule anywhere in the site’’s rules. I sure had never heard of it. The first of my two long threads received no warning that I was a rule breaker, or on the threshold of it. A simple email, private message, or phone call- a warning of any kind-would have been enough to get me to stop posting another long thread. I didn’t get any of those.

What kind of a contest is it that makes the site’s leading nonadmin poster a threat to the site’s rights?

What kind of contest is it that allows one poster to dominate the forums, pushing other voices aside, however legitimate his posting is? This poster is commended by management, I am censored and labeled a rule breaker.

I have enjoyed posting on the Male Escort Review and am truly grateful for the opportunity that Totally Oz has allowed me. I have tried to resolve this problem in private emails, but did not succeed.

In my opinion, the contest has distorted the site’s values. If this post had a title, it would be “Protecting Male Escort Reviews Values”. I appreciate the calls to come back, but I think that cannot happen until the contest is over.

Lucky, it is so good to see you are still with us and have not totally left us. We value you very much and want you to know you are always welcome here and are appreciated here. Your opinions are also very valuable to us and we appreciate the input. Thank you for trying to shape this forum into a more perfect form!

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Thanks, guys, for saying that you want me to come back. I didn't see EXPAT, FourAces, Tampa Yankee, RA1 or eeyore joining in, but then you can't have everybody.

Lucky, I thought I had expressed my feeling about your leaving elsewhere: The big goodbye. Maybe you didnt see it?

I think you made your case pretty well. I do hope to see you around more rather than less.

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As MER has always been a place of fun for me, it's not any kind of pleasure to participate in a kerfuffle.

But it's also not a pleasure to see twenty posts stripped from a fellow poster who's been trying his best to help build participation and enthusiasm during a very difficult contest.

And it's definitely not a pleasure to see it justified by a 'pre-existing rule' that nobody can actually point to.

I already volunteered to contribute twenty of my own post-count for Lucky, and another twenty just for good measure, but it wasn't even acknowledged, let alone acted on.

A week ago, before this all happened, MER was a model of fairness and transparency and a generally fun place to while away the odd hour or two. It wouldn't have occurred to me in a million years that we wouldn't have just laughed this off, added back the post-count, made up a new rule going forward, and got back to having fun. Yet here we are, still mired in the muck of mulishness.

I won't totally rule out the hypothesis that the whole thing is an elaborate ruse to gin up site interest and bring in eyeballs, but right now it just feels weird.

big_eyes_1.jpg

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As MER has always been a place of fun for me, it's not any kind of pleasure to participate in a kerfuffle.

Agree with you. It is not a pleasure for anyone.

But it's also not a pleasure to see twenty posts stripped from a fellow poster who's been trying his best to help build participation and enthusiasm during a very difficult contest.

I am not sure if that is the case, as he didn't like the contest from Day 1. But, I can see why you think this.

And it's definitely not a pleasure to see it justified by a 'pre-existing rule' that nobody can actually point to.

It was pointed out that it had been done for years in the past. It has been. It doesn't say in the rules not to call someone an asshole but if someone does, I have also been know to remove the post. I think that a rule for every scenario is impossible. That being said, Lucky was trying to teach another contestant how not to hog up the forum by posting the days post in one thread. I respect that. I love teachers. But, I don't like someone posting just to prove a point over and over. I let it slide the first time I saw it. I shouldn't have. It didn't slide by the second time.

We also banned a member this week. There was no rule set in stone for why he was banned but it was obvious he was here to attack Lucky and a few other posters from grudges on other sites. We had no specific rule but we knew the right thing to do was to ban him. We did. But, we didn't have to explain to anyone why he was removed. People seem to be confident that we run a good site and they trust our judgement when it comes to these issues. We use our Moderator capabilities very rarely. When we do, we do so for a reason.

Let me be clear, TY had nothing to do with Lucky's post being merged. I take full responsibility for that. In hindsight, it may have been better to tell him not to do it when I saw it the first time. But, I didn't. That was my mistake which won't happen again with anyone. I'll be sure from now onwards to tell people when they are misbehaving. ^_^

I already volunteered to contribute twenty of my own post-count for Lucky and another twenty just for good measure, but it wasn't even acknowledged, let alone acted on.

My apologies if I ignored a post that I should have commented on. It wasn't my intention to do that. I know I should be more diligent about responding to posts that were intended to illicit a response from me. I didn't acknowledge it because I knew it was not what Lucky was looking for. If it were the mere 20 posts, that would have been easy to do and I doubt that no one in the contest would have cared. But, I didn't think that was the issue and I don't think the count for the contest was an issue for Lucky. I thought the issue was him not being informed prior to doing it. As I told him personally, I didn't see the edit till after it was too late and once done and he was upset, there was nothing I could have done that would have helped the situation including giving him 20 posts to his count.

A week ago, before this all happened, MER was a model of fairness and transparency and a generally fun place to while away the odd hour or two. It wouldn't have occurred to me in a million years that we wouldn't have just laughed this off, added back the post-count, made up a new rule going forward, and got back to having fun. Yet here we are, still mired in the muck of mulishness.

That would be easy. Do you think that would have solved the issue? Really? If so, I hereby state that I give Lucky 20 posts back. Lets see if this is what he wanted.

IMHO and it is just my opinion, this is all to do about nothing. Lucky got upset. He expressed it. We respected his comments and his stance. We also take and took everyone's comments on the forum, in private message and in emails to heart as we try to make this site even better in the future.

World Peace!

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I am loathe to reveal private emails, but Oz is not being honest here. At first Oz told me that he had nothing to do with my thread being censored:

From OZ:

You were not picked out of the crowd or given more leeway than anyone else. I have someone I have known for years that has been helping monitor the posting as we have had several problem posters who returned to cause havoc. I told him when he sees a pattern same as the above to merge the posts. He did that. I did not think anything about it until I got your email.

I did not see your merged post till after it was done. There was no way for me to undo it. It is not in the board software capabilities. If I had seen all of it first, I would have made a snide comment on the thread that it was ridiculous. It was. But, I guess you don't understand when someone disagrees with you. If I had been the first one to see it, I would have commented on the tread.

From Lucky:

And, on the board, he said that he HAD to censor my post to "protect MER"S right." When, and how, did I become a threat to those "rights?"

Note that he has said that he hadn't even seen my threads.

And then came the phony rule, which he has yet to show us or tell us where it is: "We have done the same thing for years. Nothing is ambiguous or inconsistently applied. If you make 30 posts in the same thread in less than an hour, I'll combine those as well."

When Charlie asked to see the rule, he said: "Really? Then, you haven't really kept up with this site." Not very nice, huh, since NONE of us had seen the rule.

And now he said that it was a mistake for him not to tell me that he didn't like my multiple posts. Explain then, how you can set up a contest with a high number of posts being set to win, and then not expect people to make multiple posts. How is my teaching someone how to do so without monopolizing the forums a violation of any rule. Now you say that you like teaching, but somehow, not by me. You like it when EXPAT makes multiple posts, monopolizes the board to win the contest, and you ignore folks like AlanAlt who complained about it

Oz, I like you, but you have handled this whole contest badly, just as you did at GayThailand when your contest became quite controversial, with people complaining about rule changes midstream, and arbitrary reduction of post counts.

So, since you are unable to come clean on this, I now make my departure permanent. Well, I did promise someone I would post something for him in the pornification thread! So, once again, thanks for the opportunity to post here. It has been fun until now. But I have been made into a rule-breaking villain who threatens the rights of the site. Even if I do win the raffle, keep the change!

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Dude! However they got there, there's two good offers on the table:

I'll be sure from now onwards to tell people when they are misbehaving. ^_^

If so, I hereby state that I give Lucky 20 posts back.

Every fiber of my being yells, Take the money and run! greedy.gif

Things could always have been handled differently, but don't we all need a gimme from time to time? What counts for me is that OZ is reaching out, and that Lucky belongs inside the tent. Isn't that a framework for a rapprochement of some sort? I for one sure hope so. fingers_crossed.gif

Whirled Peas!

whirled%20peas.jpeg

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I am loathe to reveal private emails, but Oz is not being honest here. At first Oz told me that he had nothing to do with my thread being censored:

From OZ:

You were not picked out of the crowd or given more leeway than anyone else. I have someone I have known for years that has been helping monitor the posting as we have had several problem posters who returned to cause havoc. I told him when he sees a pattern same as the above to merge the posts. He did that. I did not think anything about it until I got your email.

I did not see your merged post till after it was done. There was no way for me to undo it. It is not in the board software capabilities. If I had seen all of it first, I would have made a snide comment on the thread that it was ridiculous. It was. But, I guess you don't understand when someone disagrees with you. If I had been the first one to see it, I would have commented on the tread.

From Lucky:

And, on the board, he said that he HAD to censor my post to "protect MER"S right." When, and how, did I become a threat to those "rights?"

Note that he has said that he hadn't even seen my threads.

And then came the phony rule, which he has yet to show us or tell us where it is: "We have done the same thing for years. Nothing is ambiguous or inconsistently applied. If you make 30 posts in the same thread in less than an hour, I'll combine those as well."

When Charlie asked to see the rule, he said: "Really? Then, you haven't really kept up with this site." Not very nice, huh, since NONE of us had seen the rule.

And now he said that it was a mistake for him not to tell me that he didn't like my multiple posts. Explain then, how you can set up a contest with a high number of posts being set to win, and then not expect people to make multiple posts. How is my teaching someone how to do so without monopolizing the forums a violation of any rule. Now you say that you like teaching, but somehow, not by me. You like it when EXPAT makes multiple posts, monopolizes the board to win the contest, and you ignore folks like AlanAlt who complained about it

Oz, I like you, but you have handled this whole contest badly, just as you did at GayThailand when your contest became quite controversial, with people complaining about rule changes midstream, and arbitrary reduction of post counts.

So, since you are unable to come clean on this, I now make my departure permanent. Well, I did promise someone I would post something for him in the pornification thread! So, once again, thanks for the opportunity to post here. It has been fun until now. But I have been made into a rule-breaking villain who threatens the rights of the site. Even if I do win the raffle, keep the change!

Lucky gave you part of the statement. The rest is:

"We have combined many threads over the past few months, especially if they are on same thread and by same person and within minutes of each other. You were not picked out of the crowd or given more leeway than anyone else. I have someone I have known for years that has been helping monitor the posting as we have had several problem posters who returned to cause havoc. I told him when he sees a pattern same as the above to merge the posts. He did that. I did not think anything about it until I got your email. 2 others complained last month in the porn section as their posts were merged as well. We are treating everyone the same and I think it is a fair thing to do. That being said, I have made sure that it does not happen in the future with any other poster until I view the thread. "

I have not stated anywhere that I merged the posts. I said that I stood by that decision and I take full responsibility. I still do. I should have told Lucky that trying to teach Expat or anyone else a lesson was just being a dick. But, I didn't. I let it slide.

As Lucky pointed out, neither TY or I merged the posts. I have been busy over the last few months and I had a friend help me to monitor all my sites. I told Lucky this and apologized for his feelings being hurt as soon as I got his initial e-mail and said it would not happen again and I'd be more attentive. I knew he was hurt by the merge and I tried to make it right. I will only bend over backwards for so long.

I thought I was being kind to apologize for his feelings being hurt, but he then said that a friend would never merge his posts on a board and it was a violation of his trust. I said that I don't equate board politics with friendships. I never have and I never will. I don't get it. I honestly don't. I don't see someone as a friend so they will post on a message board. I have so little time that I don't have time like that to waste. I spent time with Lucky because I liked him and could care less whether he posts on a site or not. However, to equate a message board incident with violating the trust of a friend, is ludicrous.

As I have said, I have bent over backwards to try to make Lucky happy and appease him. I also have no desire to comment on him or the drama again. So, have at it boys. I'm done.

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Guest hitoallusa

Lucky Oz made an offer so please take it and come back. Can you give the benefit of the doubt and move on? We all care about you and I think Oz surely does too. Hope to see you soon here again.

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Guest hitoallusa

Thank you Lucky and Oz for your explanation. I think it's just a misunderstanding that can be resolved. Life is short and there are many things to enjoy. Let's get it over and move on.

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