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marcanthony

How many times must you fail?

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In Lucky's Theater thread, he commented to me that he admired my forwardness in cold-asking a cute salesboy to attend a show. It turned out fantastic that time, but I can't tell you how many times I have tried that and gotten rejected.

That reminded me of one analogy to approach to life...

Stanford has an Entrepreneur School (surprise, surprise) where their curriculum is designed to foster innovation and obviously entrepreneurship. One of the basic assumptions of their teachings is that every human being has a built in failure ratio. That is, for every, say, 10 attempts they make at getting something to succeed, only one will. This is different from person to person, as everyone has different abilities, different levels of charisma, different "luck", etc etc. The point is, that if your ratio is 1/5, you would need to fail 4 times to get one success. They teach young people never to be afraid to fail on your road to your one big hit.

Assuming you believe there is some truth to that tenet, I wonder if we all have a built in failure ratio for getting dates. So if mine is 1/20, say, I wonder if I have to ask and get rejected from 19 people before I get my date with the one cutie of my dreams. Who knows if this is really true or not, but it sure makes it easier to withstand the painful "no thank you" on the date request if you figure it's just an obligation to go through on your way to the big night!

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Would that I could employ this philosophy. I've always found that when I am just myself, I am shyer. But when I am in a role, such as at work, I was much more outgoing and confident. Many a cute guy walked into our office and got personal attention from me, guys I wouldn't have dare approached outside, or at a bar especially.

But I am not shy being Lucky, and I hope that others too will not shy from responding to threads and starting them. I sometimes wonder if others would post more if I didn't, but my short term experiments in that direction don't usually succeed. I would have liked for someone else to have been the first to respond to this thread...but I waited awhile and it didn't happen. Should I have waited longer? Perhaps a new poster is an Abercrombie boy by day...

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I can totally relate to what Lucky is saying. At work, I am looked at as a leader/manager. I have to be the one to take the lead and go up to people-make the first move so to speak. But in my personal life, I am just the opposite. I am shy around someone I find attractive. I never go up to anyone in a bar setting.

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...I would have liked for someone else to have been the first to respond to this thread...but I waited awhile and it didn't happen. Should I have waited longer? Perhaps a new poster is an Abercrombie boy by day...

Well, according to my clock, the original message was posted at 12:05 pm. Your response was only 50 minutes later.

I only have the luxury of checking this site after after work (which is usually about 8:00 p.m.). Not all of us can respond instantly to an interesting thread. And, by the time I do have a chance to read something, there are other responders that have already said what I would have said.

Lack of participation is often the result of late reading and trying not to be repetitive.

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In Lucky's Theater thread, he commented to me that he admired my forwardness in cold-asking a cute salesboy to attend a show. It turned out fantastic that time, but I can't tell you how many times I have tried that and gotten rejected.

That reminded me of one analogy to approach to life...

Stanford has an Entrepreneur School (surprise, surprise) where their curriculum is designed to foster innovation and obviously entrepreneurship. One of the basic assumptions of their teachings is that every human being has a built in failure ratio. That is, for every, say, 10 attempts they make at getting something to succeed, only one will. This is different from person to person, as everyone has different abilities, different levels of charisma, different "luck", etc etc. The point is, that if your ratio is 1/5, you would need to fail 4 times to get one success. They teach young people never to be afraid to fail on your road to your one big hit.

Assuming you believe there is some truth to that tenet, I wonder if we all have a built in failure ratio for getting dates. So if mine is 1/20, say, I wonder if I have to ask and get rejected from 19 people before I get my date with the one cutie of my dreams. Who knows if this is really true or not, but it sure makes it easier to withstand the painful "no thank you" on the date request if you figure it's just an obligation to go through on your way to the big night!

I'm completely the opposite of Lucky in my approach. Once burned by shitting where I ate (as Tony Soprano might say), I'm well beyond using office influence to develop relationships. Like you, Marc Anthony, I love beautiful young guys. I have a moderate term approach. I have no expectation that they go home with or even out with the old man at the time of the first meeting.

On the contrary, I tale a laid back, casual, friendly longer term approach that's open to them learning more about me and vice versa. Once enough of an interest is peaked, they start asking around and hear good things from those in the know. Fortunately, I have the reputation of treating my boys well (and make no secret of the fact that there are and will be more than one of them in my life at any given time). I use a good sense of humor to break down their daddy barriers.

Generally,one will approach when some crisis hits. One of my current two regular boys needed a new transmission in his car. I helped him out (no expectations) and he chose to thank me. What he found as a result of that is that both the sex and the company are enjoyable and don't interfere with his life outside of our relationship. These days, he booty calls me more often than I call him. I try to give him a good fuck whenever I see him.

The thing i know is that eventually one of these boys will choose to move on. In addition to being prepared to handle that day very well when it comes, i'm pretty much always on the lookout for the next chapter in my book. Like you said, it's like sales. While you're making your current sale, you need to be prospecting your next sale if you want an uninterrupted benefit stream

Since I took on this strategy, it is rare that I hire escorts anymore- usually only when one of my favorite traveling escorts is headed through town.

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I like that approach to business and I really do believe that if one tries a new business over and over (and they put hard work, sweat and heart into it) that there is no way it will not become successful.

I believe the same way with dates. You are going to fail often but the times it does work will be magical. It has worked for me with some guys but I have the patience of Job. I don't mind working for a good relationship. The great part of hiring an escort is no patience is needed. It is there for you with no failure rate.

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