Guest gcursor Posted November 7, 2011 Posted November 7, 2011 I was a bit shocked and dismayed today when I found out what happened to some of our favorite "nursery rhyme/storybook" characters ...I thought that I would present a short update.... HANSEL & GRETEL : Time has not been kind to neither Hansel nor Gretel. After their terrible scrape with the witch, they were both arrested for MURDER IN THE 2nd Degree. The witch's close family brought a civil suit against the two of them as well. Both posted bail and were out awaiting trial when they mysteriously vanished and are now presumed to be on the run from the law. RAPUNZEL - Rapunzel did quite well from her story which was heard far and wide. The constant royalties from these stories allowed Rapunzel to live in fine style in her solitary tower. She started taking up video blogging chatting about her daily goings on and entitled the blog, THE HAIRY PRINCESS. Although the blog didn't do well, Disney eventually saw a snippet of this blog and did the movie TANGLED once again allowing her to bask in new-found royalties. JACK and the BEANSTALK: After Jack's miraculous adventure with the giant and the beanstalk, he became something of a small-town celebrity. The village named a pub after him and he had several job offers lined up if he wanted to slay giants, dragons or something else. Jack enjoyed his life for about a month then he turned extremely despondent. Depending on which version you hear of the story, it may or may not be true. However Jack knew what really happened and was constantly plagued by the dreams of what he did to the giant and seeing the devastation that the giant had caused upon falling (4 villages were decimated, hundreds of villagers lost their lives, incalculable damage to property). Jack turned to drugs and alcohol to get away from the terrible visions but to no avail. Jack eventually turned up on a DR. PHIL show (GIANTS and the People Who Hate Them) where he confessed deep remorse for everything he did having a near mental collapse on the show. After the show, Jack did a short time in a mental asylum and then released after going on some anti-hallucinatory drugs along with some anti-depressants. Jack now sells real estate. THE THREE LITTLE PIGS: The three little pigs were praised for killing the BIG BAD WOLF and were cleared of any wrong-doing after an extensive investigation. The 3 little pigs turned to the celebrity talk-show circuit making the rounds touting their great skill with which they dispatched the BIG, BAD WOLF. After a time, the pigs toured the country giving motivational speeches (one was called HOW TO BUILD YOURSELF UP when LIFE BLOWS YOU DOWN) to colleges, celebrities and even the President at one time. Currently VH1 channel is in talks to turn their life now into a "reality show". Quote
Guest CharliePS Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 THE THREE LITTLE PIGS: The three little pigs were praised for killing the BIG BAD WOLF and were cleared of any wrong-doing after an extensive investigation. The 3 little pigs turned to the celebrity talk-show circuit making the rounds touting their great skill with which they dispatched the BIG, BAD WOLF. After a time, the pigs toured the country giving motivational speeches (one was called HOW TO BUILD YOURSELF UP when LIFE BLOWS YOU DOWN) to colleges, celebrities and even the President at one time. Currently VH1 channel is in talks to turn their life now into a "reality show". Unfortunately for the pigs, their boasting brought their act to the attention of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, which levied a heavy fine against them for killing the wolf in Montana, where wolves were protected by a federal declaration that they were an endangered species. They appealed the decision on the grounds that the killing was in self defense, and the Western Ranchers Assn. financed their legal appeals all the way to the Supreme Court, where they were finally vindicated. However, the WRA then wanted some compensation, but the pigs were indigent, and had no other choice than to become The Two Little Pigs. Quote
Guest hitoallusa Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Lol so creative... Thank you for leaving my Sniw White and Cinderella alone. If you make their ending sad then you will kill every girl's dream. Quote
Members Lucky Posted November 8, 2011 Members Posted November 8, 2011 Well, Cinderella was busted for child sex charges and orgies with dwarfs. (dwarves?) Quote
Guest lurkerspeaks Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Well, Cinderella was busted for child sex charges and orgies with dwarfs. (dwarves?) And I heard Snow White was headed back to rehab for her addiction to the white powder. Quote
Members Lucky Posted November 8, 2011 Members Posted November 8, 2011 And I heard Snow White was headed back to rehab for her addiction to the white powder. Oh, gosh, it wasn't Cinderella and the Seven Dwarfs was it? But she was a golddigger! Quote
Guest lurkerspeaks Posted November 8, 2011 Posted November 8, 2011 Oh, gosh, it wasn't Cinderella and the Seven Dwarfs was it? But she was a golddigger! I was wondering about that,Lucky. I figured maybe you had read something at Huffington Post about Cinderella, or else seen the True Hollywood Story on E about Cinderella or something.. I had heard that Cinderella was really just a poser... some JerseyShore girl who got all dressed up and pretended to be a NYC socialite. Quote
Members lookin Posted November 8, 2011 Members Posted November 8, 2011 I understand that Cinderella's mean ol' stepsisters did a critically and commercially unsuccessful cover of Bippity-Bobbity-Boo and later went on to become active Tea Party organizers for the Anaheim Chapter of Republican Women for Social Injustice. . . . Anastasia . . . . . . . . . .. . . . .. . Drizella Quote
Members RA1 Posted November 8, 2011 Members Posted November 8, 2011 Well, Cinderella was busted for child sex charges and orgies with dwarfs. (dwarves?) Surely you mean vertically challenged people, don't you? Best regards, RA1 Quote
