Blue Friends

[Guest gcursor]

Did you guys miss me? I have been feeling terribly terribly TERRIBLY blue lately. I thought I'd bounce some ideas off of you guys:

(Can) or How do you become friends with escorts (if that is even possible)? Don't tell me it's impossible because I always hear about guys doing it. I mean do you send them a card around Christmas each year and that is it? Is it after you've hired them and met them for a few years? I'm assuming that it's difficult to do unless people click instantly and that rarely happens immediately.

How do you handle it if you want to see the same one again but they can't fit you in for some time? Do you give up or do you just put them on a list of "things to do" along with your grocery list?

also it doesnt help that i'm such a nice guy but i can only change so much.

I'm just kind of curious to see what responses I'll get,

gc

[Guest lurkerspeaks]

my question for you is, are you wanting to become a "regular, repeat client" or are you hoping to become "off the clock" friends? I would think that any reputable, serious escort would welcome a regular client, as long as it isnt a high maintenance type situation. If you are looking to be off the clock friends, I would think that most escorts try to keep that part of their private life separate from their professional life.

On a side note, there are some escorts who do realize that good deeds do usually come back to you.. For example, there is one highly reviewed escort here in Phoenix who I have had a few convo's with over at Daddy's site. He is aware that we are not very compatible sexually, but yet he has offered to go to dinner with me sometime off the clock. I have not been able to take him up on his offer yet. His reputation is one of being EXTREMELY kind and always trying to make others happy..Do I think we will become "friends"? No.. even if we do meet up, it is ultimately, still about him and promoting his "business".. Likewise, a few years ago when I hosted a Hoo-MER Phoenix pride weekend, we had a group dinner in which a few local escorts joined us. One of them has since gone on to be a fairly big name porn star and escort, but yet whenever we run into each out at a club, he always says hi and gives me a hug.. I wouldn't call him a friend, but he is an acquaintance..

[lookin]

Perhaps you can write him a short note telling him why you think you'd be a good friend and slip it under a set of keys for the new Porsche you'll park in his driveway. And don't forget to include your phone number.

[Guest lurkerspeaks]

oh. and btw..when I saw this headline, I thought the subject might have been "the other little blue friend...."

NO, NO.. .JUST KIDDING. I thought it was about THIS little blue friend..

[TotallyOz]

Any relationship starts with money is about money. You can develop friendships with escorts that were once regular guys but you would need to have had a good business relationship with them first. If you are just looking to hire a guy once or twice and become friends, I'll say your odds are about as close as winning the lottery. It does happen but not often.

I have many escorts that I am friends with. But, there was a business relationship first. Once they realize I am a nice guy, with some it continues. With others it does not. I have no expectation of it continuing as their job is to make someone feel comfortable with them.

Might I suggest that you try to find guys that are younger gay men who have similar interests to be friends with? That may be what you are after anyway. Unless, you are wanting a sexual relationship. If that case, you have to approach things different.

[Guest lurkerspeaks]

I agree completely with Oz.. there are some young guys out there who do actually enjoy the company of us "old guys"...you might want to check out the website, www.silverdaddies.com I have had a little success there...

[Guest CharliePS]

I'm wondering WHY you want to become friends with escorts. Do you think it will raise your own self-esteem to be accepted as a friend by an escort? Do you want to brag that you have friends who are hot enough to sell themselves? Do you hope that once you are friends, the escort will realize you are "a nice guy" and will become a "friend with benefits"? (The latter is unlikely to happen, because most escorts are too familiar with that motivation not to guard against it.) Do you think the "glamor" of being an escort will rub off on you in some way?

I can understand wanting to become friends with a particular person, escort or not, but why seek to become friends with a generic type (lawyers, artists, chefs, etc.) unless you are hoping to get something from them that they have not, so far, been interested in offering.

[MsGuy]

Thanks for your post, Charlie. You clarified for me my own rather inchoate reaction to gc's original post. I couldn't get my thoughts to jell until I read your words.

[TotallyOz]

I'm just kind of curious to see what responses I'll get,

gc

Well, you have gotten some good responses IMHO. I think Charlie's question is important for you to answer. Why do you want to be friends with them? Are you looking to hire them? Or, are you looking to find escorts that you don't pay and become their friends? That would help me understand why you are blue about this.

[Guest gcursor]

Man...that hurts Charlie. Why do I have to have an ulterior motive for becoming friends with an escort? I am gcursor...lets not forget that. I do not hide my motives for doing things in a cloak of darkness or hide behind a wall of illusions. People know who I am and what I stand for. My name is the same on both boards and my nickname is the same on all my posted reviews. I try to be as honest and upfront as possible.

For the record, no I don't want freebies and indeed many of my encounters haven't included sex so that's not it. I guess the reason is because I spend so much time researching these people and making sure they are nice, well-reviewed, etc. and than if we hit it off particularly well ...than I would hope that they would be okay with me hiring them again. it might not even be so much of a friendship as somebody saying to me that they look forward to hopefully seeing me again.

I do not get along with many people that are my age. Unfortunately many of them have moved past all the things that are central to my life. Computers, videogames, TWITTER, etc. That is one of the reasons that I get along so well with younger guys however younger guys run from my looks. I should point out that I am not really looking for somebody to have sex with; just somebody to share common interests with and discuss things. However finding those people that are okay with friendship with older guys is quite difficult unless you happen to be a very hot daddy type.

by the way, a few months back I got 2 viagra tablets just to see what it would do and maybe Id try using it. First of all, it gave me a terrible stomach cramp for a few hours. Second of all, it didnt really work the way I was expecting. I was expecting it to grow to at least 4 feet long! AND for it to last for a few hours! I was quickly disheartened.

gc

Well, you have gotten some good responses IMHO. I think Charlie's question is important for you to answer. Why do you want to be friends with them? Are you looking to hire them? Or, are you looking to find escorts that you don't pay and become their friends? That would help me understand why you are blue about this.

[TotallyOz]

Man...that hurts Charlie. Why do I have to have an ulterior motive for becoming I guess the reason is because I spend so much time researching these people and making sure they are nice, well-reviewed, etc. and than if we hit it off particularly well ...than I would hope that they would be okay with me hiring them again. it might not even be so much of a friendship as somebody saying to me that they look forward to hopefully seeing me again.

Well, now this is a different thing. IMHO

Escorts are like me and you. If you are good to them, treat them with respect and kindness, they will look forward to seeing you again. I ran an escort service for many years and all the boys much preferred going to see someone they knew (and was good to them) than someone they did not know.

I honestly can't imagine anyone now wanting a regular client and looking forward to a good client who is good to them.

If you have problems with this in the USA, you need to visit me in Thailand. The boys there will LOVE you and want to know you and if good to them, they never forget it!

[Guest gcursor]

by the way Charlie, i didnt mean to over-react ...i have a tendency to do that at times. i apologize

gc

[Guest CharliePS]

by the way Charlie, i didnt mean to over-react ...i have a tendency to do that at times. i apologize

gc

To be candid, gc, I have difficulty understanding your response, because it hints at things that aren't really explained. Have the escorts you have hired said that they didn't want to be hired again by you? Have they rejected your attempts to be friendly? Have you told them that you would like to just hang out with no sexual strings, and they have said no? Have they indicated it's because of your age or looks, or are you simply assuming that? Have you carefully researched escorts who you thought would give you the proverbial "boyfriend experience," only to find out that it wasn't what you expected, or wanted? What's behind your blues?

OK, suppose you do manage to just "make friends" with some escorts--then what? How is that going to be different from making friends with non-escorts who share your interest in computer games, etc.? I don't need you to answer any of these questions, but I think you need to honestly ask yourself why you want to find friendships specifically among the rarified sub-group of young male escorts.

In truth, I'm not sure that the right time to deal with these issues is when you are wrestling with a serious diet anyway.

[caeron]

GC,

I'm a computer gamer, an RPGer, and a geek, and I'm nearly 50. I actually play dungeons and dragons still, and good for me!

I feel no need to apologize for my interests and have a number of friends my age who share those interests. You don't need to apologize for what you like.

If you look around, you can find gamers your age. Most major places have gaming groups. And there are plenty of resources online too:

http://gaygamer.net/

Other than that, I think I agree with Charlie (and also OZ), despite your reaction. The point about wanting to be friends with a class of people rather than individuals is what struck me.

The real danger for those of us who hire escorts is to forget that what we're buying is an illusion. The transaction is fundamentally a business one, about the money. The escort has his own life and wouldn't be spending time with you if you weren't paying him. It's his job. Some who hire do so not for sex, but for intimacy. They want the emotional connection they're missing in their life. They let the illusion the escort offers become their reality.

That's really dangerous, because you can't fill that particular hole at $150+/hour, because it is an on-going need. Over the years on these forums we've read about people who have dumped huge amounts of money on escorts because that's what they really wanted. They were trying to buy a friend instead of an escort.

I am not suggesting that this is the case for you. I hardly know you well enough to analyze your motives. But that's what it reads like to me. If you're looking for friends, there are better places to look than to an escort.

[Guest gcursor]

Thanks Caeron . your response was quite nice. I will check out that resource you gave me.

im sending you a pm too

gc

GC,

I'm a computer gamer, an RPGer, and a geek, and I'm nearly 50. I actually play dungeons and dragons still, and good for me!

I feel no need to apologize for my interests and have a number of friends my age who share those interests. You don't need to apologize for what you like.

If you look around, you can find gamers your age. Most major places have gaming groups. And there are plenty of resources online too:

http://gaygamer.net/

Other than that, I think I agree with Charlie (and also OZ), despite your reaction. The point about wanting to be friends with a class of people rather than individuals is what struck me.

The real danger for those of us who hire escorts is to forget that what we're buying is an illusion. The transaction is fundamentally a business one, about the money. The escort has his own life and wouldn't be spending time with you if you weren't paying him. It's his job. Some who hire do so not for sex, but for intimacy. They want the emotional connection they're missing in their life. They let the illusion the escort offers become their reality.

That's really dangerous, because you can't fill that particular hole at $150+/hour, because it is an on-going need. Over the years on these forums we've read about people who have dumped huge amounts of money on escorts because that's what they really wanted. They were trying to buy a friend instead of an escort.

I am not suggesting that this is the case for you. I hardly know you well enough to analyze your motives. But that's what it reads like to me. If you're looking for friends, there are better places to look than to an escort.