Would you ever take someone back after they lied to you, and why?

[TotallyOz]

OK. I'd like to say that this story is not about me. But as Lucky was here for a visit, he will know I am full of shit. So, I'll fess up now.

My ex became my ex because he lied to me. Not once, or twice but many times over the years. We were together for 7 years. I'll admit that no one else seems to keep my attention the way he did and still does. He was that one guy that always made me happy the moment I saw him and I stayed happy the entire time I was with me.

The lies were all about stupid shit. I am just a smart cookie and I can put 2 and 2 together. I often confronted him when I knew the answer to my question but he would still lie about it eve though I knew for sure it was a lie.

He had no reason to lie. I am very easy going and don't care what a BF does as long as drug and lies are not involved.

We have now been broken up for several months. I still see him about 2 times a month and I love the time I spend with me. He is ready to come and live with me any time I ask. But, for me, I have stopped short of that as I know I can't trust him.

Could you forgive someone if they lied to you? Is there anything they would be able to do to convince you that they will try to make things right?

[marcanthony]

Could you forgive someone if they lied to you? Is there anything they would be able to do to convince you that they will try to make things right?

a few times, maybe. as a way of life, no way. like you, I value honest communication way too much.

[Guest lurkerspeaks]

Definitely a thought provoking question. No easy answer for me. On one hand, I believe everyone deserves a second chance--no one is perfect, we all make stupid mistakes. But if it has happened over and over again for a number a years, it doesn't look like he is going to change. I am also a believer in "Screw me once, shame on you.. Screw me twice, shame on ME"..

I admit I have done some stupid things because I "loved" someone. But when I am clear of the situation, looking back, it becomes pretty transparent that I should have made my decision early on and stuck with it..

No one can tell you what is right for you. Only YOU know that.. but trust your gut...go with your instinct..

[Guest CharliePS]

It would depend on what they lied about, and why. We all lie to some extent, whether we want to admit it or not, but some lies are more serious than others.

[Lucky]

I had a lying friend with benefits for several years, and I always forgave him because I liked him and was attracted to him. In retrospect, I was a fool to put up with his bullshit. When someone continually lies to you, they don't have much respect for you, do they? But, we can so easily be tempted to gloss over these issues.

[MsGuy]

...no one else seems to keep my attention the way he did and still does. He was that one guy that always made me happy the moment I saw him and I stayed happy the entire time he was with me.

and

I still see him about 2 times a month and I love the time I spend with him.

You haven't broken up, you have had a major falling out. And as Lurker says, only you can decide how to proceed from here.

----

One problem is that BF already knows from 7 years experience that lies upset you, knows that enough lies will get him booted and "knows" that eventually you will take him back. How you are going to resolve that problem is beyond me. I went through a similar trial with a BF of 5 years and failed miserably.

[stripfan]

My stance is one of trust. If I can no longer trust the person, (which is usually because of lies) then it is over. I have ended both romantic relationships and friendships over lack of trust. I have found that even in situations where I had allowed a second chance, it was never the same and I moved on.