The Art Of Communication

[Guest FourAces]

Hey guys .. the past few weeks things seem a little slow around here. We are headed into the holidays the clocks fell backward and I'm sure many of us have been busy.

However, I know people are reading the posts just based on post counts but very few replies or interactions within the threads.

I cannot figure out why that is. There are plenty of people registered here so we cannot point to the lurkers as the answer. I think we need to look at ourselves.

For me anyway its more fun when there is communication. I enjoy reading posts by most everybody here and try to respond or throw in my two cents (though some might feel its only worth a penny at best )

Do you guys find the threads that boring you do not want to communicate? Or do we need our own MER Meltdown to get your juices flowing? I have practice at the latter just let me know

Seriously I am just wondering why we don't see the communication / post interaction here. I personally think the topics mostly are far more interesting than I have seen elsewhere. We have two active owners of the site who bend over backward trying to please everybody .. though its not a pretty sight seeing them bend over

Anyway what do you all think? LOL I guess if no one replies maybe the reason is me

[MsGuy]

Well, I can only speak for myself, but the main reason I have had to cut back on my posting is the lack of an onsite thumbs up emoticon.

I mean think about it. I read some cool thread and want to say at-a-boy and what all but then I gotta minimize the screen and reopen IE (Google is my home page). Then I gotta sit around and think of what search term I used to find that cute smilie last time and then type it in and then, damn!, nope that ain't right so it's back to Google and then, o.k., now I found a bunch of thumbs up but which one, which one? Ooooh, I like that one, it's animated, so I copy the damn thing, and minimize the site (yeah,I know I could just maximize MER but I never remember that in time) and then click on insert image and paste in the URL and click Add Reply.

And what do I find when I check out the post (I always check to see if it really posted; who in his right mind trusts the internet?)--- A fucking red X, that's what! So I hit edit and it's back through that whole routine and what now? A freaking thumb that's 24 inches wide and 48 inches deep and I'm lucky even see the tip of the thumb without scrolling for five minutes.

Anyhow, that's why I'm not posting replies as much (you listening, TY?).

[Lucky]

Can you believe that Borat has been cast to play Freddie Mercury in an upcoming film? I can't imagine it as I don't think Borat is in the least bit sexy.

[Guest zipperzone]

I think the lack of communication is symptomatic of the internet. It has a lot to do with "instant gratification". Look for something that triggers our interest, devour it, and move on. There are two kinds of internet users IMO. The givers and the takers. Unfortunately the takers vastly outnumber the givers. Another word for takers could be lurkers. Those that have no interest in participating - amuse me or I'll go elsewhere. Maybe they should.......

[TampaYankee]

Half of my responses are in the way of saything thanks for sharing your thoughts or photos and prompting me to think about it.

I think that the impersonal aspect of the internet is detrimental the practice of courtesy.

[marcanthony]

Hey guys .. the past few weeks things seem a little slow around here. We are headed into the holidays the clocks fell backward and I'm sure many of us have been busy.

However, I know people are reading the posts just based on post counts but very few replies or interactions within the threads.

Some of it is style, I guess. I tend (even in person) to only speak in a conversation if I feel I have something to add. If I am perfectly happy just listening, then I just listen... and hope that my attentive body language conveys to the group that the conversation is interesting.

On the internet, that visual aspect of interest is missing... so I have always assumed that view count does the same thing. If people are looking, that must mean they are interested. I guess not everyone reads it that way, so lack of reply could definitely be construed as lack of participation.

Different styles I guess... but for me, I tend to post when:

1) I have a question

2) I have an answer to someone else's question

3) I feel I have some opinion/statement/wisecrack/observation that adds to the general conversation

4) I am bored... or lonely. (this is an interesting one, but I find it definitely the case sometimes)

I do appreciate all the posters around here, and I can honestly say that over within 2 days, I will visit this site at least once, and always read every post in certain sections (luckys place, the buffet, the picture place, strip clubs, europe, and brazil). Whether I post or not depends on if I have a question, an answer, a contribution, or time.

Knowing now that at least several people have expressed concern about lack of active posting... I'll try to contribute more to the post count than to the view count...but just wanted to make it clear that it was never lack of interest that kept me from posting in the past.

[Lucky]

We've talked about it before. People post because they want to engage another guy in conversation. They post pix to get a response too. But here, more and more, that is not happening. I do not know the answer. We proved that if we worked at it, we could keep it going for a month. But how to keep it longer? That's the $64,000 question.

I admit that I am ready to give it up as it is turning out to be a rather non-productive use of my time. We need fresh input more than anything, because we know each other too well. I know, for example, that TY and I agree on just about all political questions. On the other hand, RA1 and I are not likely to come to a meeting of the minds. We have a nice group of people. How do we expand?

[xenophile]

Some of it is style, I guess. I tend (even in person) to only speak in a conversation if I feel I have something to add. If I am perfectly happy just listening, then I just listen... and hope that my attentive body language conveys to the group that the conversation is interesting.

On the internet, that visual aspect of interest is missing... so I have always assumed that view count does the same thing. If people are looking, that must mean they are interested. I guess not everyone reads it that way, so lack of reply could definitely be construed as lack of participation.

Different styles I guess... but for me, I tend to post when:

1) I have a question

2) I have an answer to someone else's question

3) I feel I have some opinion/statement/wisecrack/observation that adds to the general conversation

4) I am bored... or lonely. (this is an interesting one, but I find it definitely the case sometimes)

I do appreciate all the posters around here, and I can honestly say that over within 2 days, I will visit this site at least once, and always read every post in certain sections (luckys place, the buffet, the picture place, strip clubs, europe, and brazil). Whether I post or not depends on if I have a question, an answer, a contribution, or time.

Knowing now that at least several people have expressed concern about lack of active posting... I'll try to contribute more to the post count than to the view count...but just wanted to make it clear that it was never lack of interest that kept me from posting in the past.

I definitely agree with marcanthony's reasons for not posting more. MER is on my heavy rotation list and I definitely come by every day or two (along with DR, BTW). I tend to post more on a controversial topic in which I have a strong opinion, or when my rentboy regulars are unavailable and I'm feeling overly horny and a bit panicked. I suffered from severe Internet addiction a few years back, and I have to limit my time at the keyboard or I'll revert to being a hermit again. I value my real-world activities too much to let them slip away as before.

I love the escort topics, though I don't usually tend to hire the pro guys who advertise and are most often reviewed here and there, I always love hearing their perspectives and helpful hiring practices. I also love the travel sections here and am saving all the cool informative posts for when I get to travel to Brazil and Thailand, but I'm a novice in that area so I don't have much to contribute to those wonderful threads.

My sense of humor is often dark, twisted and not fit for general human consumption, I spend most of my allotted forum time on reddit and sometimes 4chan which are satisfyingly twisted indeed and quite gay friendly in their own perverse non-PC ways. I love catching up with the flood of topics at justusboys.com/forum, a lot of "mainstream" gayboy fun to be had and there are always a number of hot controversies brewing with sparks flying in all directions.

I sometimes feel kind of an odd duck but I love the sense of community here and I endeavor to contribute more and be less of a lurker. I used to love the camaraderie when hanging out at my favorite local hustler bars, since those days are gone for the most part, you guys are a great and worthy successor, though typing back and forth over the web is not really a replacement for a nice feisty, gossipy gabfest over a few brewskis. I hope that more lurkers jump on board and add their opinions, I know several guys that I can't get in front of a computer with any amount of enticement, but there are several would-be contributors that may just respond to some friendly invitation.

[xenophile]

Oh shit! No new posts the rest of the day?! I think I chased everybody off with my forum recommendations, sorry!

[xenophile]

Can you believe that Borat has been cast to play Freddie Mercury in an upcoming film? I can't imagine it as I don't think Borat is in the least bit sexy.

In my opinion, Sacha Baron Cohen is fucking hot! I'm betting he nails Freddie, can't wait!

[MsGuy]

I used to love the camaraderie when hanging out at my favorite local hustler bars... for a nice feisty, gossipy gabfest over a few brewskis.

My kind of guy!

And thanks for the justusboys.com link. At first glance, it looks like a fun place.

[MsGuy]

Anyway what do you all think? LOL I guess if no one replies maybe the reason is me

Well, FourAces, your thread has survived a hijack , a hijack of the hijack, drawn a number of thoughtful replies and even lured Marcanthony out of the bushes. All in all, a highly successful post IMHO.

[Guest NeedSome]

One of the things that I do not care for on other similar sites is the pile on posting. A few posters that always have to chime in but never seem to add anything new or of value to a thread. While guys are free to post whatever they want whenever they want, it doesn't mean I have to read 15 guys saying exactly the same thing and devolving every thread into some sort of "let's see how much online flirting I can get into today." Less of that goes on here I think and I for one appreciate it. Plus, I feel like there are other sites where people are less interested in real discussions and more interested in being mean spirited and proving how smart and clever they are (or in most cases, how smart they think they are).

Though...I think I just piled on to Marc Anthony's comments and therefore did exactly what I accused others of doing.

[RA1]

We've talked about it before. People post because they want to engage another guy in conversation. They post pix to get a response too. But here, more and more, that is not happening. I do not know the answer. We proved that if we worked at it, we could keep it going for a month. But how to keep it longer? That's the $64,000 question.

I admit that I am ready to give it up as it is turning out to be a rather non-productive use of my time. We need fresh input more than anything, because we know each other too well. I know, for example, that TY and I agree on just about all political questions. On the other hand, RA1 and I are not likely to come to a meeting of the minds. We have a nice group of people. How do we expand?

I assume you mean politically? I think it would be easy to come to a meeting of the minds. You just admit you are wrong and agree with me. How silly is that comment? I am afraid you make some that are just as silly but I "wonder" if you know it at the time?

Best regards,

RA1

[Guest epigonos]

I think that both here and on Daddy’s site we have sacrificed provocativeness for gentility. Frankly provocativeness stimulates me while gentility bore me to death.

[lookin]

Everything marcanthony and xenofile said goes for me too.

Although the participation issue comes up every week or so, I'm still not sure exactly what's being asked, and of whom. I can see at least three possibilities, each with its own solution(s):

• 1. More members - This will probably require some marketing, and some financial outlay for advertising. It would require a decision by TY and OZ to do so.

• 2. Turning members who lurk into members who post - Again, this will probably require some marketing. The contest that TY and OZ sponsored a couple of years ago increased the number of posts dramatically, as I recall. A week or so ago in a

similar thread, I suggested a contest to help Lucky plan his trip to Thailand. But there were no nibbles, so maybe the will to repeat this approach isn't here at present.

• 3. Changing the posting habits of existing posters - The August Challenge got a lot more people posting. It took some cajoling on Lucky's part, and an increased investment of time by a number of members, but it worked. Some of the benefits are still here in November. But I think that's a process that needs to be repeated occasionally, and with increased time investments by all. Personally, I was glad to support Lucky's efforts by doubling my time on the site for one month, but that's not usually going to be practical, for me anyway. I could see changing the type of posts I make, transitioning from relatively few posts that take a while to write to a greater number of short posts of the 'Attaboy!' variety.

Some additional clarity on what's wanted would be helpful and if there's anything I can do, within reason, I'll give it my best shot.

[TampaYankee]

Remember too that the August Challenge was fresh off a lock-out at daddys. That caused significant spillover here. However, as ususal many of the foul-weather-friends that roosted here a for a while returned to Capistrano after the storm clouds receded. Some remain, and some straddle.

[lookin]

Remember too that the August Challenge was fresh off a lock-out at daddys. That wrinkled more than a few ladies panties causing spillover here. However, as ususal the foul-weather-friends that roosted here a for a while returned to Capistrano after the storm clouds receded. Some remain, and some straddle.

Just back from a look at Daddy's home page where it shows the record high number of online users was 243 in early June before the lock-out. If I recall, it was sitting between 40-50 after Daddy returned from vacation, and it's rarely been out of the 60's ever since.

As you say, some have returned, but it appears that most have not, and many of those who returned have reduced their participation substantially.

While a few came over here to 'roost', many more did not. And I think those who 'straddle', self-included, have not become prolific posters on either site. There still seem to be a significant number of posts that are going unposted.

I continue to believe that, as with so many things, the first step is figuring out exactly what you want. Then comes the second step of figuring out how to get it, followed by the third step of deciding whether or not you're willing to do it.

Can't think of any other solution at the moment but, hey, at least I made it into the 'Today's Top Posters' roster!

[MsGuy]

and some straddle.

Hey, it ain't as easy as it looks!

----

And I have to agree with lookin. Since the last blow up (and especially since

PK got dressed down by Daddy for complaining about quasi-kiddie porn poster boys and took off in a huff), things have gotten downright dull over there. I mean even Glutes' stalking of KMEM has gotten half hearted.

[BiBottomBoy]

I was just not commenting because my cat broke my router.

Back now!

[Lucky]

Say TY, you wouldn't be referring to this comment from Daddy to Purplekow would you?

"Because you was insulting the Young men in question, the Reviewer, the Site, the People that visit the site, and Myself. Now your trying to spin your negativity and bigotry. I for one am not buying it."

All because he protested the choice of boys who look underage as coverboys. It's something that made a lot of people uncomfortable, but I do agree with Daddy on this one- if they are old enough to escort, they are old enough to be coverboys. Whether the selection is good for the website is another matter.

All the members of the site did not appreciate being liked with the "barely legal" set. So why alienate your base? It's not like there is a big demand for coverboys who look underage.

[MsGuy]

Actually I was thinking more of this one:

"You are not the Censor!

This constant demagoguery is getting tiresome. My minimum age is acceptable and legal in all the states of the union. If they are old enough to be reviewed; they are old enough to be cover boy. Feel free to take your politically incorrect ideology somewhere else."

This after a fairly mild post by PK to the effect that guys who could pass for 9th graders aren't the best/wisest choice for cover boy.

Oh, and don't blame TY. I was the one that brought it up.

----

The new smilies are addictive. I've become a regular emoticon queen. Give me a week or two to have my fun and I'll calm down.

[BiBottomBoy]

I think in general avoiding even the appearance of underage is for the best.

We are already talking about shit that is illegal in many countries, why give law enforcement additional reasons to keep their eyes on us?

Plus, men are hotter than boys anyway.

[Lucky]

We all agree that the website owner can do with his site what he wants. If he is trying to build membership, he might market differently, but if he is happy the way things are, then the buck stops with him, and those who don't like it can move on.

It's interesting to me in light of my own situation why I ever wanted to meet the owner of the website. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but I have never met the owner of any other website that I participate in. I couldn't care less who owns Cam4 or Rentboy.

I think because we create a sort of community here with our posting that the owner then plays a different role- as a poster too. Since I like to meet fellow posters, it stands to reason that I might like to meet Daddy or OZ. I enjoyed my personal time with Daddy, and expect that I would also enjoy Oz's company.