Posters and Lurkers

[AdamSmith]

How sweet can I be invited to the wedding

Are you starting to channel our fellow poster 'greatness'?

TY one can only be punched around so much. You are human from what I've heard .. you believe in your site and it was attacked ... I think most of us like the way you handled it.

OZ great detective work happy to see the so called blackmail issue as noted by onefinger not to be accurate.

Yes, to both.

[AdamSmith]

Would you really enjoy being on a completely normal website? Well, maybe for awhile...

Zzzzzzzzzzz...

[TampaYankee]

You know... I think people just like to complain. We have complaints that were are boring and a snooze. We have complaints that we are dysfunctional drama. We have complaints that we are not a very friendly site to participate in -- as opposed to what???? How can all that be simultaneously???

We have a little drama to break the snoozes from time to time. Nothing like other sites though IMO. Almost none of it generated by the admins. Not sure that can be said for other sites.

We do have an admin that takes only so much trashtalk before he let's his hair down on rare occasion. I plead guilty. Nothing compared to the admin heavy handedness of others site IMO.

We have some people that complain about the excessive snoozing but I don't see their stats jumping off the page with their number of posts.

We have some great contributors that more than carry their load (No puns here. ) with impressive stats and even better content. Oz and I very much appreciate their contributions. I wish they got more help from others but all we can do is give everyone an opportunity. They nitpick about small issues here , if not make them up, and overlook the same issues in a grander scale elsewhere.

I'm sorry this thread didn't workout the way Lucky had hoped but we cannot let false information go unchallenged and sometimes I get my fill of trashtalk. I guess that is unique among message board admins according to some. I'd give my frank response to that but we are being a friendly site today.

[MsGuy]

So where is that 'thumbs up' emoticon we have been asking for, TY?

[Lucky]

[OneFinger]

Sorry Oz, this is not accurate. I do care too but my concern does have limits. Sometimes I suffer piss-poor attitudes not so well. This time I gave expression to my thoughts. It happens on occasion.

And in doing so, you verified my original assumption. Too bad you jump to such rash conclusions without so much as a personal interaction. Lucky and TotallyOz have carried on very good personal conversations with me about his issue.

You seem to prefer the poison public pen. Very sad for someone in your position.

[OneFinger]

As I have been in correspondence with OneFinger about this statement, I needed to clear things up on this. The above statement is not true and not based on facts.

TotallyOz,

You provided some good insight concerning your previous contacts with this escort. That's information I never knew and it does put things in a different light. And, I really appreciate your personal conversations with me before making this public post. That, IMHO, was the right and honorable thing to do.

However, before and after posting my comments, I re-read the e-mail exchanges between the escort and myself. I believe I very fairly represented the facts as he told them and what I know from my interactions with him.

Where is the truth in this matter? I'm really not sure. But, you've raised enough suspicions on the escort's character and prior action that I won't be hiring him again. That's a shame because he was a very friendly guy that met my sexual needs. But, your interaction with him is so different from mine that I'm not sure I want to risk seeing him in a new light or possibly get involved his personal crises.

[TampaYankee]

And in doing so, you verified my original assumption. Too bad you jump to such rash conclusions without so much as a personal interaction. Lucky and TotallyOz have carried on very good personal conversations with me about his issue.

You seem to prefer the poison public pen. Very sad for someone in your position.

I don't recall getting a PM or email from you voicing your concerns about the review or 'MERs' finest' before pissing on us in the public square.

[BiBottomBoy]

You say pissing in the public square like it's a bad thing.

[lookin]

I think some may underestimate the challenge a lurker faces when deciding whether to post or not. Sure, we have a Community Home Page, but that's only the basic stuff dealing with privacy and stalking and such. It doesn't really describe the unspoken rules that guide our interactions and make us such a lovingly inbred and dysfunctional family.

Before I ever considered starting a post, or even replying to someone else's, I spent months just trying to figure out the lay of the land, so to speak.

So perhaps it would help to share my own baker's dozen of hard-won insights on what makes our little community of posters tick.

I'm sure others will join in and generously offer their own.

● If you don't have anything nice to say, immediately click the 'Register' button in the upper right hand corner. When finished registering, hit the 'Login' button to its left, and start typing at once, before any kinder gentler thoughts have a chance to intrude.

● References to the 'other site' will always attract viewers and responses. Even a single use of the word 'Daddy' will keep your post at the top of the forum for weeks at a time.

● If you are a client replying to an inquiry about an escort you are fond of, add 50% to his published rate and cut his dick size in half. If you really like him, suggest that his ongoing drug problems make him a risky bet for an outcall and that his own quarters have recently become infested with bedbugs.

● If you are an escort here to make some new contacts, try your best to laugh at all client banter. While concurrently rolling on the floor is not absolutely de rigeur, it can be a nice added touch. If a potential client has already begun stalking you, it may be best to keep up this facade until a restraining order has been served and tracking device fitted.

● Should you sense that another poster would appreciate some encouragement or feedback on something he has written, quickly close the thread without replying. It will help him avoid becoming too needy, and he will thank you one day by returning the favor.

● Never start a new thread when you can highjack an existing one.

● Use smiley faces liberally. Nothing gets a snarky comment past the moderators like a well-chosen emoticon.

● If you come across a post containing the letters 'BN', consider it an engraved invitation to dive right in and post the most outrageous stuff you can think of, on either side of the issue, or even both sides at once. It doesn't matter if you even know who this 'BN' fellow is. Post away! Half your readers will consider you a hero, and the other half will assume you know something they don't.

● When making a political post, do not - repeat, do not - include any verifiable facts or relevant information. Always allow the rhetoric to stand on its own. And do try to use the word 'agenda' at least once.

● If you see a post about a city or country you have never visited, be sure and let others know why you would never be caught dead there.

● When sharing pictures, try to find those that have blocked or expired links. If that's not possible, misspell the URL. A picture post festooned with red x's or blue ?'s will immediately endear you to all the other posters whose graphic treasures likewise remain tantalizingly just out of reach.

● All too often, you may find yourself deeply offended by something another poster has written or even by the poster himself. Whatever you do, do not suffer in silence. It will only encourage him. Let him know just how disgraceful his conduct has been, and ask him to seriously consider turning in his avatar and joining the Foreign Legion.

● Always post what's on your mind. If you don't have anything on your mind, don't let that stop you. Remember, there are plenty of us who have even less on our minds than you do, and we are all desperate for something new to read.

And now, if I may grow lyric for a moment, I'd like to conclude with a polite and patient plea to people presently perched on the precipice of prolific posting:

It doesn't matter who you are,

A troll, a , a movie star,

Bronzed and young, or old and gray,

Bi or straight or proudly gay,

If you've got nothing much to say,

Come login once and post all day.

And if it's not all up to par,

You'll fit right in at MER!

Hope this helps, and happy posting!

[BiBottomBoy]

It's nice to know I've been following the unwritten rules all along.

[TampaYankee]

I think some may underestimate the challenge a lurker faces when deciding whether to post or not. ...

ROFL

I nominate you as the MER Poet Laureat and Philosopher-In-Residence.

[TampaYankee]

You say pissing in the public square like it's a bad thing.

I take note of the fact that you live in France. Why is that? Are you hiding form a disgruntled spouse/bf/gf? The Tax Man? Are you Whitey Bulger?

[Lucky]

Well, we don't appear to have succeeded in getting one lurker to register and post. I guess I should not lament that, since it appears from lookin's very funny post that it means one less person to attack me for everything I believe in, and to dredge up every mistake I have ever made. You lurkers- so full of yourselves with all the damage you could truly do! :)

It's reverse psychology!

[BiBottomBoy]

I used to make movies in America, but got in trouble with the law back in the 70s. I heard that France wouldn't extradite so I took off for here.

To be fair a fucking serial killer had ordered his followers to kill my wife and unborn child before I got in trouble, but did the judge take that into consideration?

No, he did not!

So, now I try to just work here and keep under the radar.

I take note of the fact that you live in France. Why is that? Are you hiding form a disgruntled spouse/bf/gf? The Tax Man? Are you Whitey Bulger?

[TampaYankee]

I used to make movies in America, but got in trouble with the law back in the 70s. I heard that France wouldn't extradite so I took off for here.

To be fair a fucking serial killer had ordered his followers to kill my wife and unborn child before I got in trouble, but did the judge take that into consideration?

No, he did not!

So, now I try too just work here and keep under the radar.

Better try harder as it hasn't been working too well. Lay off that Swiss cheese too. They bait traps with that stuff.

[BiBottomBoy]

Eh, I needed to kick back in my chateau for a while to detox.

As soon as I was tired of Switzerland they let me go home.

They are nice people.

[TotallyOz]

One of the fascinating things I see in this forum is that some members take great offense when TY or myself get involved into a debate on the different side of the coin. I can't even think of 5 times in all the years we have used Admin "abilities" to remove something. We want others to treat us the same as any other poster. We are admins for the site. But, we are posters on the forums. We only use the admin forum abilities when we feel there is a legal reason to do so. Please feel free to take me or TY on task for anything that is said on the boards. We not only appreciate it, we expect it.

Please feel free to express your opinions about how we run the forums. What we post about. Our opinions. etc. We are members of this community and would never use a shield to protect ourselves. However, we may debate you and argue with you. When that happens, please don't get upset because we are admins. Simply treat us like anyone else.

I don't need praise for running this site. Frankly, my ego is big enough having some of the most beautiful boys on earth on a regular basis. We need active posters and contributors to the site. I hope our passion does not scare others away. If it does, let me apologize in advance. Now, take aim and fire mother fuckers! jk about the mother fuckers part.

[Lucky]

Okay, Oz, you asked for it! Howzcum you don't share those guys with me? Huh?

You have so many, it seems you could send a couple my way. SO there, I said it!

[MsGuy]

My thoughts exactly, Lucky.

Oz has enough boys in Thailand to fill up whole rows of seats in the local movie houses & still he goes traipsing off to Brazil to collect some more!

And will any of us get so much as a 'wish you were here' card from him, much less an invite to a roll in the hay? Not bloody likely!

Sorry, OZ, but it had to be said.

[BiBottomBoy]

I'm not jealous of OZ.

I'll take a nasty French Arab top over a Thai bottom boy any day of the week.

The Thai boys look they they would break apart before they could properly top fuck you.

[TownsendPLocke]

Don't worry TY you are not the only mod' here to post while in a "mood" and then regret it.

The problem with this is that once posted the snarky/unwelcoming/negative/stupid post can be seen by folks who might have been thinking of joining in the conversation but then thought"why bother if this is the sort of treatment i will receive" and thus not join us.

While I can hear the snarks saying"Well if he cannot take a ribbing/criticism he does not belong here in the first place"as that is one of the many defense tactics snarks/cyberbullies/mean girls use to justify their actions.Right or wrong this attitude will keep folks who might otherwise be welcome contributers to a IBB/blog/Social Network away.

Just one of the many reasons I see for this community not growing and attracting new posters

[TampaYankee]

Don't worry TY you are not the only mod' here to post while in a "mood" and then regret it.

I don't regret my response. I do regret that that onefiger raised the issue in the way he did but that wasn't my choice.

The problem with this is that once posted the snarky/unwelcoming/negative/stupid post can be seen by folks who might have been thinking of joining in the conversation but then thought"why bother if this is the sort of treatment i will receive" and thus not join us.

I do regret that. There is no reason for anyone to expect a bracing retort unless they repeated trashtalk the site/admins and then piss on them in public without any prior voicing of concerns, which it turns out was based on false information. However, newcomers don't have insight in the site history. On the other hand, no one should believe that they can come here and repeatedly trashtalk with impunity the the site or members.

Oz was born with the personality to handle 'problem' members. Me, I turn my cheek, repeatedly if necessary, until it goes one step too far. I then speak my mind, plainly.

But the issue is more than that I believe. I remember the old days at HooBoys where he caught hell for his posts about escorts, travelling etc. It surprised me at the time and I discussed it with him. Eventually, he just withdrew from posting except for near-emergency issues like his latest misplaced laptop or hard-drive-crash impact on reviews.

Some people just don't like the hall monitor in the play yard, much less entering into the play. Not all but some. My omnipresence here no doubt is offputting to some lurkers. Like it or not I represent an authority figure for reviews and posts. Some are not comfortable with authority figures around. Alernatively, Oz is the site travel agent with many great stories and experiences to share -- just a lighter presence, more fun and less threatening to some -- certainly to me.

All attempts to grow the forums have met only with limited success -- much better but still limited. I don't know what else to do other than pare back the presence of the hall monitor figure. I have discussed with Oz tapering back my participation in hopes it would improve the comfort level for some lurkers.

This was the motivation behind Oz's post above about not overreacting to or misinterpreting the admins participation. He would like to have his cake and eat it too -- that is my continued posts and lurkers not feeling intimidated. They are mutually exlusive propositions IMO.

Just one of the many reasons I see for this community not growing and attracting new posters

Townie, thanks for sharing your views and insights. They are much appreciated. We would also appreciate your other many reasons for this community not growing, here or privately. We always value member input.

[TownsendPLocke]

Actually your presence as well as Oz's on these boards is a major plus.One of the (many) faults of the other site is that the two principles post so little (none for the most part) real world timely experience in matters about which their IBB is based. Rather like a recovering alcoholic maintaining a IBB about current wine vintages.They can recall what wine taste like-but cannot contribute relevant information to their own board.

If anything I would like to here more about your (and Totally Oz's) current adventures.

[TotallyOz]

Actually your presence as well as Oz's on these boards is a major plus.

Thank you Townsend for that. I do appreciate it very much. I do think you might be in the minority in this. I think many prefer the admins to take a hands off approach. This has been suggested to us since Day 1 by many people.

TY was one of the most prolific posters on Hoo's site. I racked up my fair share of posts there as well. So, when we moved on to this site, we kept the status quo even though we were admins. Many feel this is not appropriate and I think you can see that from TY's message above.

I have not yet determined what is the best course of action for us. We want the forum to grow and we want the site to grow. If that means we need to take a back seat, we will. I have just not made that determination at this point in time. However, we are both committed to doing whatever is best for the site and are always willing to try new approaches.