"It Gets Better" Project

[MsGuy]

Normally I wouldn't post something here that was first posted over on Daddy's site, but I thought this was so worthwhile an idea that those of us who don't frequent the other site should have a chance to see it.

Quoting DuchessIvanaKissandhug:

"Dan Savage, who writes the syndicated relationship and sex advice column Savage Love has started a YouTube project, called "It Gets Better".

In response to the recent rash of gay teen suicides, he proposed to offer hope to isolated LGBT youth, and let them know that "it gets better".

A number of individuals and groups have taken up the challenge, and I find them totally heartwarming.

"I post here a few for your perusal, but recommend you visit the YouTube Channel to view more at your leisure.

"Wonderful words. And frankly not just for LGBT youth, but for people of all ages.

"A great project. I bet this will save some lives."

YouTube Channel

Here is Dan and his spouse Terry's video:

http://www.youtube.com/user/itgetsbetterproject#p/f/0/7IcVyvg2Qlo

Growing up queer and isolated in my small Mississippi schools, I would have given anything to have run across something like this. The only thing that kept me alive was clinging to a blind hope that somewhere there was someplace I could live a real life and that somehow I might find my way there if I could only hang on long enough.

----

On a lighter note, it occurs to me that Oz must have had a similiar journey in his life and he made it all the way to Bangkok.

Here's to you, Oz. Congratulations. You sure as hell showed those sum-bitches.

[Guest Matrix]

Normally I wouldn't post something here that was first posted over on Daddy's site, but I thought this was so worthwhile an idea that those of us who don't frequent the other site should have a chance to see it.

Wow. That's terrific. Cross posting from Daddy's site. Every-time I've done it for interest, or point of view, I was, well let's just say shot down for it.

Bravo to you for the guts of it all MsGuy! I was beginning to believe that anything which might be mentioned over there could not ever be mentioned over here for sake of the lack of exegesis.

Thanks for clearing this up.

As an aside:

Instead of constantly beating up on an organization [Gladd] that could really care less about the real life and death issues of our people, and, especially our youth; let's try for once supporting, and I define supporting as free press and meaningful dollars to: The Matthew Sheppard Foundation. The only cause they have, is a cause that just might prevent the next headline such as this one from occurring. How about an article every now and then about THEM and some press about what THEY ARE DOING for us?

They are real people striving to make real change in not only OUR lives, but in also in the minds of others who obviously continue to perpetuate this level of injustice against our own.

Judy would love the press and the support. After-all, her life has become this very cause.

http://www.matthewshepard.org/

[MsGuy]

You're welcome, Matrix.

[Guest Matrix]

You're welcome, Matrix.

I believe that I have said this to you before MsGuy, and in the event that you missed it before:

I adore you!

And many thanks back at you.....

[TotallyOz]

On a lighter note, it occurs to me that Oz must have had a similiar journey in his life and he made it all the way to Bangkok.

Here's to you, Oz. Congratulations. You sure as hell showed those sum-bitches.

Thank you! Cheers back!

I did have a very similar journey. I grew up in Alabama and in a very conservative family. I was expected to play sports, ride horses and love fishing. Instead, I played in the band, rode boys and loved porn. I guess I didn't meet my families expectations.

I was lucky to have a fantastic mother who accepted me for whoever I was and whatever I did. I would not have made it otherwise. I did try to blend in with the southern Christian lifestyle for 28 years. I dated girls, studied to become a minister and went on missionary campaigns. It was all part of my growing toward acceptance.

My first missionary trip overseas was to Scotland. I was only 16 and the rest of the group was in 20s - 40's. They let me have a room to my own. We stopped over in London and I slipped out at night. I found a handsome man who eyed me (you know, the gay eyes thing) and I followed him. It was my first gay bar. I was mortified when they all looked at me. But, I did go in anyway and I had sex in the bar with a guy. Of course, I felt guilty and thought I should be punished.

I also did think about suicide often. It was on my mind constantly until I came out. It was so hard to live a life that was a lie. When I came out, I said I would never lie to my family again. I haven't.

[Guest FourAces]

MsGuy Thanks so much for making this post. This is an awesome project! I will be posting Dan and his partner's video tonight on my blog. I receive thousands of hits on the blog each day and I know that hundreds are boys in the age group they are aiming for. I'm hoping that the clip will reach them especially if they are hurting.

[MsGuy]

FourAces, you are earning some good karma points by doing that. The smallest things can make surprising difference to a hurting teener. When I was 16, at my local library I ran across a short essay on religion by Bertram Russell that opened the door for me to rid myself of my religious obsessions.

Not really much to the essay looking back, but at the time it gave me an avenue to escape from much of the Calvinist craziness I had absorbed from church.

[TampaYankee]

Wow. That's terrific. Cross posting from Daddy's site. Every-time I've done it for interest, or point of view, I was, well let's just say shot down for it.

Hmmm... I don't recall any of those instances off the top of my head -- but I am not disputing you at all. My short term memory is not what it was I guess -- I really don't recall.

We have no policy about cross posting. It is up to the poster where he wishes to place his posts -- at either site or both. We have no issue with borrowing an interesting topic from another site, with due credit given, although I wouldn't want to see it become commonplace. Topics can be of interest at both sites.

I do not know how many MER members/visitors visit both sites. I suspect many do. Personally, I hardly ever visit daddy's site with the rare exception of an issue of overriding interest. I did visit for background on the Noah Driver case. I, maybe, have visited half a dozen times in that last three years, if I were to guess, a couple being the first instance of daddys forclosure/ donation issue and the Scott Adler episode.

On rare occasion a poster of both sites has posted a link here to a post there rather than post it here, even if only a cut and paste. I pass on the link because I made a commitment to concentrate my interests on this site. Had the post been made here I probably would have enjoyed reading it.

I do not believe that any site has the sole rights to a topic or a post. The same interesting topic can coexist. I was shocked that the Noah Driver episode was not mentioned over hear before it was or that I was not privately contacted about it at least. It certainly was germane to the site mission and the forums.

I guess the bottom line is that neither site should be a carbon copy of the other but that interesting topics and posts might be of interest at both sites. It's a call for the individual poster who wishes to make the contribution. No one should be keel-hauled for it.

[TampaYankee]

"Dan Savage, who writes the syndicated relationship and sex advice column Savage Love has started a YouTube project, called "It Gets Better".

In response to the recent rash of gay teen suicides, he proposed to offer hope to isolated LGBT youth, and let them know that "it gets better".

A number of individuals and groups have taken up the challenge, and I find them totally heartwarming.

I believe that Diane Sawyer had a spot on this on World News Tonight, tonight.

[MsGuy]

"I guess the bottom line is that neither site should be a carbon copy of the other" TY

My thought exactly, TY. That's actually what I was getting at with my "first posting" disclamer. In fact it strikes me as an ethical issue that each site get the full benefit of the creativity of its members. (In my mind, importing all that drama from Daddy's is an entirely separate issue.)

On the other hand, topics get posted that are of real importance to folks on both sites. To me, Dan Savage's project fell in that category.

I suppose that I could simply have posted the necessary links to Savage's channel over here on MER, but that didn't feel right either. I thought it proper to give the Duchess full credit for his effort to bring these videos to our attention.

I'm probably making too much of the ethical niceties of all this, but that's how I get when my residual Calvinism kicks in. If management (or anybody else) has any qualms with the balance I struck for this particular OP, please don't be shy about suggesting better ways to handle cross-posting topics in the future. Ideally, we should execise considerable restraint in doing this sort of stuff, IMO.

[BiBottomBoy]

My only worry about the "It Gets Better" Project is that schools are telling parents to make their kids use their computer in the living room rather than their bedroom to keep them "safe" from Internet predators and I worry that some parents might freak out if they found their son watching these clips.

Also, almost all parental software blocks out anything with the word "gay" in it, so I wonder how much of an impact this will have.

[Guest FourAces]

I believe that Diane Sawyer had a spot on this on World News Tonight, tonight.

Here is a link from ABC News though not sure if this is the one you are referring to.

http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/video/conversation-project-jeremy-hubbard-dan-savage-it-gets-better-stranger-youtube-gay-suicide-teen-world-news-11761205

[MsGuy]

My only worry about the "It Gets Better" Project is that schools are telling parents to make their kids use their computer in the living room rather than their bedroom to keep them "safe" from Internet predators and I worry that some parents might freak out if they found their son watching these clips.

Also, almost all parental software blocks out anything with the word "gay" in it, so I wonder how much of an impact this will have.

BBB, teens are pretty good at getting preggers &/or stoned out of their gourds w/o their parents suspecting a thing. I don't doubt their ability to evade supervision while on the computer either.

The question about the software block is a good one though. The word gay (or synonym) is nowhere in the title. Is there one of those hidden tag clouds attached to Savage's channel that tells software about the content?

Just as an experiment, I googled up It Gets Better to see if it is on the Google blacklist you just posted about. I only got as far as "It Ge" before Google popped up the channel as a suggested destination both on general web search and video search. By contrast, "Flirt For Free" triggers the censor at the 'o' and "Male Escort Review" blanks Google at the 's'. (Male enhancement products are apparently entirely innocuous. )

[MsGuy]

Today the YouTube home page featured four of the "It Gets Better" videos as "Spotlight Videos", complete with an introductory blurb and a link to the whole channel.

This is wonderful. For one day at least, every kid who does a search on YouTube will be introduced to these videos.

[BiBottomBoy]

Interesting that male enhancement products don't make the list but male escorts do.

They sort of go hand in hand.