Another Management meltdown?

[Guest Matrix]

Does anybody know what happened to once again close the Daddy's reviews message forum?

I'm on vacation and was relying on access to some info there.

Suddenly without warning they're on vacation????

This is causing a hardship now that the forum info postings are unavailable.

[nycman]

Does anybody know what happened to once again close the Daddy's reviews message forum?

Happens from time to time over there.

Usually following some silly drama...often involving

one or more of the "moderators".

I don't think they understand, or care for that matter,

about the damage an unannounced shut-down does to their

site. Too bad, otherwise it's a great site.

[Guest lurkerspeaks]

unfortunately, Daddy still subscribes to the "It's my marbles, and I can pick them up and leave mentality" when it comes to the forum...It would be so much more "user friendly" if when he deemed fit, he would simply lock down the forum to new posts, delete any of the "offending posts", but still allow the rest of the forum to be accessible for viewing only...Many people count on the valuable information that can be found there to help them in various endeavors.

In the past when this happens, there will be a noticable upswing in posts over here.. but once Daddy cools down and re-opens his site, the posts here dwindle back down to few and far between.

[Guest Matrix]

Many people count on the valuable information that can be found there to help them in various endeavors.

I'm one of those people right now.

Reading what The Daddy wrote on the closed site really makes you think he could give a shit about his members. He said:

"Finding new members is easy because we have a steady stream of new users that show up daily and a few stick around for a while."

So, I guess members mean nothing to him, except unless you happen to be one who has given money on his "donations" pages. Maybe those people have special passcodes to get into the site

[Tazmanian5230]

I met a guy named "OZ" once who sounded like he wanted to buy the Daddy empire which by the way Daddy claims is on the brink of being broke.

It sounded like OZ had a great idea !! (HINT)

At no point should he be closing the message center because of a few bad posters.

Are the postes bad or does Daddy just want to control what people can say on his site?

I think this is the 3rd time in a few years hes packed up his marbles and closed the site.

What caused the last meltdown or this one?

[Guest Matrix]

Usually following some silly drama...often involving

one or more of the "moderators".

Except for Cooper, the moderators over there are self centered drama queens who rule their forums based upon who they like or don't like.

the Deej guy is a power tripper. The Lucky guy is a whining, two faced, passive aggressive poster who doesn't even want, apparently, the moderator position and has publicly washed his hands of it while chastising The Daddy and the Deej in the process of trying to get himself removed.

Moderators over there should not be permitted to post there. Period. They are incapable of handling and managing the balance required for a healthy board to survive.

[Guest Doit]

I have not been around enough to have experienced the meltdown(s) prior to this one...I am also happy that I have e-mail addresses for the people I usually PM with on Daddy's site. I guess this is a case of you get waht you pay for...LOL.

[lookin]

In the past when this happens, there will be a noticable upswing in posts over here.. but once Daddy cools down and re-opens his site, the posts here dwindle back down to few and far between.

I tried keeping up with both sites for a while and found some of my favorite posters on both, so it wasn't a big hassle when Daddy took a vacation. These days, I don't have time to follow two sites, and am wondering if it would make sense to just load up a UHaul and shift my few belongings over here.

But I'd hate to leave my favorite posters behind, if and when Daddy re-opens, and I've heard there are some Daddy's posters who wouldn't be caught dead over here, and some MER posters who wouldn't be caught dead over there. Is this still true?

As you say, folks do seem to gravitate back to Daddy's when he re-opens, but I'm never certain how long the welcome mat will stay out.

All that said, I do appreciate the efforts by the moderators on both sites, and am more than willing to do what I can to make their lives easier.

[Lucky]

LOL- If I saved matrix's nearest and dearest from a raging fire, he still wouldn't have anything good to say about me.

Moderators and managers on either site are going to have differences of opinion. It's the normal course of business. The owner of the site ultimately gets to do whatever he wants.

[lookin]

I wonder what the Moderator's job entails? Sounds like it's very difficult and emotionally draining the way it's currently set up at Daddy's site. Does it have to be that way?

What about just letting any Moderator delete any post he wants to for any reason at all? Deleted posts could go into a "Deleted Posts" folder and, if three or more of the other Moderators decide to "undelete" it, they could do so at their leisure. If not, it would stay deleted. There wouldn't need to be any discussion, no emails flying back and forth, no arguments, no justifications - just push a button any time of the day or night. Or not.

That way, the burden would fall on the posters, rather than on the Moderators. If I want my posts to show up, I figure out what the rules are and follow them. If I can't figure out how to stay inside the lines, then nobody gets to see my posts. It's up to me as a poster to figure out what's acceptable and act accordingly. If I make life hard for others, I get ignored or booted. Isn't that what being a member of society is all about?

Occasionally, I might get my nose out of joint. I might decide to stop posting altogether. But no one else would have to suffer for my behavior. And maybe it wouldn't take five years to find another Moderator.

Now, if it turns out that folks really enjoy the sturm und drang, punctuated by the occasional 'lights out', that's another issue.

[alanalt]

...I'm on vacation and was relying on access to some info there...This is causing a hardship now that the forum info postings are unavailable.

There's a beta forum up at http://mc.daddysreviews.com/ - any posts added will be lost, but if you needed to grab info from a pre-existing thread, you might find that info there.

As for the shut/meltdown, I have no idea what caused it, nor do I care much anymore... In years gone by, I might have had an inkling because I used to frequently visit that board (like several times a day). After the last 'Daddy meltdown' in October of '09, I took a break from the board for several months and found myself much less involved when I did return earlier this year. Now I visit maybe a couple of times a week, unless there's a thread I find myself involved with or interested in, and that's rare.

As it is, when I saw the notice, I sort of gave an apathetic shrug of my shoulders and moved on. Daddy is Daddy and it's been made perfectly clear that he's not going to change. I sort of feel sorry for the people who are much more involved in that board, but if they're willing to put up with Daddy's high-handedness, then that's their decision...

Alan

[Guest Matrix]

There's a beta forum up at http://mc.daddysreviews.com/ - any posts added will be lost, but if you needed to grab info from a pre-existing thread, you might find that info there.

Thanks VERY much Alanalt.

[TampaYankee]

LOL- If I saved matrix's nearest and dearest from a raging fire, he still wouldn't have anything good to say about me.

Moderators and managers on either site are going to have differences of opinion. It's the normal course of business. The owner of the site ultimately gets to do whatever he wants.

Lucky,

Congrats on your moderatorship, if I'm not too late. I just found out.

[MsGuy]

I wonder what the Moderator's job entails? Sounds like it's very difficult and emotionally draining the way it's currently set up at Daddy's site. Does it have to be that way?

So what does a moderator really do? Delete; lock; yellow card; red card; bite tongue. It's those "teaching moments" when the moderator has an opportunity to influence the tone of his forum that get tricky.

Now, if it turns out that folks really enjoy the sturm und drang, punctuated by the occasional 'lights out', that's another issue.

I confess I find forums over-medicated by the moderator often become dull over time. Accepting some hoorah seems to be the price of keeping things lively and fresh.

[lookin]

I've always admired the way TampaYankee and others have moderated this forum. I think they laid down some very clear guidelines in the beginning and from time to time added some "teaching moments" as you say. These were always thoughtfully reasoned and presented, which I'm sure took some time. But they were also quickly enforced if someone didn't respect them. I've always liked those who have remained here, although many thrillseekers went elsewhere.

Don't know if you recall EscortSpeak, which was as close to an unmoderated forum as I've seen. There were a lot of posters when it started, but people fell away pretty quickly as the various "Death Wishes" began to pile up. It was entertaining in moderate doses and with proper attire.

There must be a lot that goes on behind the scenes in any forum that users don't get to see, and I'm grateful for all the volunteers who make it possible.

[MsGuy]

I've always admired the way TampaYankee and others have moderated this forum.

As have I, Lookin, as have I. I enjoy both sites but, to my taste, Daddy's could do with an occasional bucket of cold water from the moderators. More specifically, if yellow cards were flashed more frequently and consistently, our manners might improve. But, then, I'm not the one doing the work so it's easy for me to kibitz.

Then again, I do enjoy a good cat fight too. Consistency 's never been my forte.

----

I'm wondering if the shutdown wasn't for some reason other than a thread meltdown. I visited the board about 90 minutes before the flag went up and there was absolutely nothing going on in the way of a fight. Bupkis. If something blew up, it happened awfully fast.

There must be a lot that goes on behind the scenes in any forum that users don't get to see, and I'm grateful for all the volunteers who make it possible.

Amen to that. Which reminds me that I've being feeling guilty about not doing my bit to keep things going over here. It ain't TY's fault if we don't post often enough to keep this board lively. It's on our heads that the longest current thread here is about the other site. [confession: when I found the other site closed, I immediately came here to find out what had happened, but I was too embarrassed to make my first post in a while a question about the other site. Glad though others weren't so shy. ]

[marcanthony]

Welcome, everyone!

[Guest StuCotts]

Posters' reasons for sticking with Daddy' are a mystery to me. I can only think they must enjoy being called successful, articulate, intelligent and opinionated by the very crew that obviously believes not a word of it (except maybe for opinionated), feeds them bullshit, treats them as a necessary nuisance and encourages them to donate to keep all that wonderfulness going. There's a lot more I don't understand about them. e.g., why they feel the need to pat themselves and each other on the back on having achieved their X000th post, as though that were a real achievement. Maybe if I visited more often and tried harder I'd come to understand more. But I won't. It must be the weather.

[lookin]

Can't speak for everyone, but for me it's the variety of subjects, amount of content, and number of posters that keeps me going back to Daddy's. If I visit once a day, chances are I'll find a number of interesting posts. If I post something there, it will likely get views in the double digits, and may get a response or two.

I really like the quality of posts and thoughtfulness of posters here on MER but, in recent months, it's possible to come to this site and not see a new post since my last visit. And, if I post something here, it may get seen by only a handful of others and not get a single response. Usually, that's OK, since the fun for me is in creating the post. Still, it's always nice to get some feedback. For me, anyway.

No doubt, MER has a great message forum but, right now, Daddy has the eyeballs. At least when the shingle's out.

Your observation that I sometimes feel like I'm a pain in the ass in Daddy's eyes is, as usual, on the mark. It's not at all pleasant to find the lights switched off every few months. And maybe the day will come when folks stop going back.

As for posters patting one another on the back for numbers of posts, you're right that it's not exactly the same thing as getting a Pulitzer. I think it's just a harmless way to reach out to someone and say something nice.

[lookin]

Welcome, everyone!

Thanks! Is there room for one more?

[Guest lurkerspeaks]

For me, it is mainly the amount of traffic/posts/responses... I like the interaction (as long as it remains civil) that can be found next door. I have met quite a few posters (all of whom started over there, a couple of which are now JUST over here). And I have even met a couple of the moderators and the all mighty Daddy himself...The moderators I met (Cooper and Lucky) are both very nice people who, while opininated, are very fair and open to discussion.

I do understand that legally, the website is the property of Daddy so he can do as he wants with it. But I am a firm believer that the information on the website was lovingly compiled by those of us who wish to share what we know and have experienced, and to learn from those more knowledgable. And that knowledge should not be locked away because someone is having a bad day, or a small group of people can not abide by some applicable rules, or because a small group of people are in disagreement.

Should we lock down the libraries because we disagree with a couple of the books in it??

For what it is worth, Just my two cents worth.

So, I say we post over here, we increase the flow of traffic, posts and responses, and we share our marbles with any one who wants to play nicely.

[Guest lurkerspeaks]

I actually got to see Ralph Woods in Montreal several years ago when he was dancing at Adonis.. He had his bleached blonde hair back then, and was probably 18-19 years old..a beautiful boy with a beautiful toy.. I never got to do a dance with him because he was so busy with regulars...The last few trips I have made to Montreal, I have seen him out and about in the Village..

[Guest Matrix]

Posters' reasons for sticking with Daddy' are a mystery to me. I can only think they must enjoy being called successful, articulate, intelligent and opinionated by the very crew that obviously believes not a word of it (except maybe for opinionated), feeds them bullshit, treats them as a necessary nuisance and encourages them to donate to keep all that wonderfulness going.

It's really not a mystery as 'Lookin' has described above.

I'll add this.

Yes, the variety of posters is a definite draw.

The variety of topics is as well, a definite draw.

So at the end of the day you have here - and there.

What are the differences?

They are vast. And they are equally as small.

it all comes down to the moderators.

As I shared earlier in this thread, deej and lucky should maybe be monitors but they can not be both. Posters AND monitors.

The deej's ego is as egotistic and self deserving of the HooBoy legacy of anyone around. Not to mention the size if California. He has been at the source and core of EVERY closure of the message forum to date.

He has.

deej feels entitled. The forum is his and the Daddy needs the deej to carry on.

Again, if none of the interested parties in the site were monitors, these issues would not be issues.

Are you really telling me that after five years, you can't find a decent moderator? Barry is only represented as a pawn. He isn't here OR there.

So that's disingenuous to start with.

deej is, well deej. He's again been at every core of disruption the site has ever had.

Lucky is, well Lucky. You do the math.

Not Lucky nor deej should be actively posting on that site as moderators.

They are incapable of being impartial and both have axes to grind with many who still post there.

At the end of the day, your message center is only as good as the people who visit and frequent it.

The people at Daddy's forum are still subjected to the type of closures which happened this past weekend.

It wasn't because of the members this happened. It was because the owners can't get their shit together still, and yet don't care because they view the alternative forums online as non competitive.

Both deej and Daddy have been gifted a legacy. Yet they both act as if they were the architect of it all.

[flguy]

Matrix,

The two most important comments I have found in this entire thread. And I am not sure "gifted" is what I would call it. You didn't hit the nail on the head with this post, you pounded it in.

"The deej's ego is as egotistic and self deserving of the HooBoy legacy of anyone around. Not to mention the size if California. He has been at the source and core of EVERY closure of the message forum to date."

"Both deej and Daddy have been gifted a legacy. Yet they both act as if they were the architect of it all."

[AdamSmith]

why they feel the need to pat themselves and each other on the back on having achieved their X000th post, as though that were a real achievement.

There must be a German word that denotes 'pointless pride in one's own logorrhea.' I have indulged in it myself Over There.

Here, too, in fact. But here I got a paycheck for it.