Summer Wanes

[AdamSmith]

I refer the right honorable gentlemen to the remarks I made some moments ago:

http://www.maleescortreview.com/forum/inde...?showtopic=1672

[MsGuy]

A delightful thread well worth reviving.

And now (just to demonstrate my own incurably low-brow mentality) did your granny really use a Dole pineapple can for a spittoon? I can remember a neighbor of my old maid great aunt using a big tin can, but can't testify as to the brand of choice. I vaguely recall some kind of paper stuffed in the bottom, but that may be a false memory induced by your post. I think this stuck in my mind because I knocked over her can once. Not a mistake you're likely to make twice.

I can testify that snuff packed into a tooth cavity, using the frayed end of a wooden kitchen match as a tool, works wonders. Tobacco's a natural analgesic. That folk remedy has saved me agony on several occasions when no dentist was avaible. Learned it from that neighbor. Cigarette tobacco & spit make a great plaster for a bee sting. Learned that from my Daddy.

[AdamSmith]

did your granny really use a Dole pineapple can for a spittoon? I can remember a neighbor of my old maid great aunt using a big tin can, but can't testify as to the brand of choice.

Swear to God. Dole pineapple juice.

Odd, come to think of it, in that I never saw her serve pineapple juice. Yet there those cans always were.

Despite there being two perfectly good spittoons in the house. Maybe they were for company.

I vaguely recall some kind of paper stuffed in the bottom, but that may be a false memory induced by your post. I think this stuck in my mind because I knocked over her can once. Not a mistake you're likely to make twice.

Yes, a layer of Kleenex was stuffed into the bottom, then successive layers were applied to cover up the mounting drool. Until the thing was, I suppose, emptied. Mercifully I never witnessed that operation.

The anesthetic properties of tobacco I never experienced, except by inhalation in the dozen years I was a smoker. Gitanes and Rothmans.

P.S. Re: knocking over the spit-can (as they called it), what was that movie where two old biddies are shopping for coffins, and one of them overturns her miniature in-purse spittoon onto the white pillow in one of the show models?

[MsGuy]

Swear to God. Dole pineapple juice.

Odd, come to think of it, in that I never saw her serve pineapple juice. Yet there those cans always were.

Probably friends saved them for her.

Despite there being two perfectly good spittoons in the house. Maybe they were for company.

That's so Southern! My stomach aches from laughing.

Yes, a layer of Kleenex was stuffed into the bottom, then successive layers were applied to cover up the mounting drool. Until the thing was, I suppose, emptied. Mercifully I never witnessed that operation.

Picture a seven year old sissy playing in a too big wooden rocker and knocking over the spit can. Then picture him scraping up all that ropy brown glop! Thank God it was a bare wood floor!

[Guest StuCotts]

I refer the right honorable gentlemen to the remarks I made some moments ago:

http://www.maleescortreview.com/forum/inde...?showtopic=1672

I recall the 2007 thread, though wouldn't have guessed it dates that far back.

The new thread gave me a Rip van Winkle moment: stay away for a little while and when you come back nothing is recognizable. The reference to the right honorable gentlemen left me blank, as did the seeming continuation of a discourse, whose beginnings are unknown to me, on the important place of Dole in the history of improvised spittoons.

[AdamSmith]

I recall the 2007 thread, though wouldn't have guessed it dates that far back.

I say that more and more.

The new thread gave me a Rip van Winkle moment

Those get more and more frequent too.

The reference to the right honorable gentlemen left me blank

Merely a cheap irrelevant way, the locution borrowed from Prime Minister's question time, of introducing the old thread.

as did the seeming continuation of a discourse, whose beginnings are unknown to me, on the important place of Dole in the history of improvised spittoons.

This was the penultimate turn that the referenced 2007 thread itself took, after the Stevens petered out. Before ending up considering poor Fr Urbain Grandier.

I must remember whatever I was on that summer, and get more of it.

[AdamSmith]

Probably friends saved them for her.

Yes! Now I remember. The cans came from the next-door neighbor, who drank pineapple juice. And dipped snuff. But who saw no need of those cans herself -- she just stepped to the door and spit into the yard. I can still see those brown streaks radiating in all directions from her back stoop.

That's so Southern! My stomach aches from laughing.

One never used the good anything, unless the preacher came to dinner. But as the preacher didn't dip or chew, that consigned those spittoons to eternal disuse. I think in the early 1970s, one of them suffered the ignominy of becoming a flowerpot for a bunch of dried eucalyptus. Courtesy of my aunt (granny's daughter), then much under the baleful influence of Better Homes & Gardens.

Then picture him scraping up all that ropy brown glop!

Now I'm the one aching with laughter. Disgusting!

[Guest StuCotts]

This was the penultimate turn that the referenced 2007 thread itself took, after the Stevens petered out. Before ending up considering poor Fr Urbain Grandier.

I must remember whatever I was on that summer, and get more of it.

If I'd had the presence of mind to review it through to the end I could have spared myself the embarrassment of making my lack of thoroughness blatant.

Anyway, now I read through all 3 pages and declare the thread to be genuinely sprightly fun. What did (figuratively) get into us all?

[MsGuy]

The reference to the right honorable gentlemen left me blank, as did the seeming continuation of a discourse, whose beginnings are unknown to me, on the important place of Dole in the history of improvised spittoons.

Same thing happened to me. I must have wasted 10/15 minutes checking & rechecking other threads trying to figure out what the hell AdamSmith was referencing. Worse yet, after I gave up and started reading the link, I was interrupted for about an hour. When I returned I couldn't find the thread! Looked all over the place, even in other threads, even checked Daddy's trying to find it. Finally found those wonderful spittoons by clicking links at random.

Lhude sing Goddamm, Old Tymers Disease is icumen in.

[MsGuy]

This thread has me thinking of all sorts of odd country customs. One of the best: my mother's best friend sipped her beers through a straw. She was of of the opinion that drinking beer directly from the can was too unladylike.

I asked a red neck friend of mine if any of his relatives used a Dole juice can (he was the above referenced interruption). His great aunt used a coffee can but only when company was present. Otherwise she just stepped out on the front porch and let fly.

We had a judge who chewed Red Man during court and kept a spittoon behind the bench. However in Oxford (home of Ole Miss) he just swallowed and munched on Tums to offset the resulting stomach acid. He thought spitting made him look too country for a university town.

[AdamSmith]

Worse yet, after I gave up and started reading the link, I was interrupted for about an hour. When I returned I couldn't find the thread!

The Person from Porlock at least ought to be disnenfranchised.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Person_from_Porlock

[MsGuy]

The Person from Porlock at least ought to be disenfranchised.

Not from Porlock, but Pine Bluff. If not for his unscheduled appearance I wouldn't now know that the Southern cedar tree is not a cedar at all. Turns out it's the Southern red juniper. Asked whether those strange looking berries could be used to make gin, he equivocated.

His knowledge of horticulture, guns and the dark art of seducing married women is extensive. Otherwise he's something of a good-hearted blank. Currently he's in something of a snit because he can't remember where he put the torsion bars for his tractor. His friendship is just one of the consolations of living in the small town South.

[Guest StuCotts]

The Person from Porlock at least ought to be disnenfranchised.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Person_from_Porlock

A tangent: I have a dim recollection of a theory I once heard that the Person from Porlock (which I want you to imagine in a Hell's Kitchen accent) was as much a product of Coleridge's chronic strung-out state as any other creation of his, and he could as well have called it the Pink Elephant from Portsmouth. A little mean-spirited perhaps, but not incredible.

[AdamSmith]

the Person from Porlock (which I want you to imagine in a Hell's Kitchen accent)

Stop! Too perfect.

as much a product of Coleridge's chronic strung-out state as any other creation of his, and he could as well have called it the Pink Elephant from Portsmouth.

In fact this is mentioned briefly in the Wikipedia article referenced. Having sampled opium myself, I can easily believe that its influence gave rise to 'Kubla Khan' in STC's dreaming mind, then as readily hastened its leaking out of memory faster than he could write it down.

That said, I recommend it. Opium, that is.

Laudanum, not so much. http://dic.academic.ru/dic.nsf/enwiki/26751