Things You Never See in Thailand

[Gaybutton]

Or, at least I haven't seen these . . .

 

1. A New York style deli.

 

2. Fried eggs, once over lightly, done correctly.

 

3. Thai men wearing a toupee.

 

4. Thai people repaying a loan provided by a "farang."

 

5. Everyone at your table, in a restaurant, served the main course at the same time.

 

6. Bangkok taxi drivers who would much prefer to use their meter, if given the choice, rather than negotiate a fare.

 

7. A bar boy who enjoyed being with a "farang" so much that he refused a tip.

 

8. "Farang" at the beach, over fifty years old, who really look great in a thong or bikini.

 

9. An excellent Mexican restaurant.

 

10. A Polo field.

 

11. Thai women suffering from Anorexia or Bulemia.

 

12. Thai boys who go to the beach in hopes of achieving a great tan.

 

13, Spumoni

 

14. A barber shop that isn't in close proximity to more barber shops.

 

15. Pecan pie.

 

16. Trailer parks.

 

17. A street on which motorcycle drivers never go the wrong way.

 

18. A Buick dealership.

 

19. Here's one I do see, but not very often: Stop signs.

 

20. Tornados.

 

21. Exact change lanes at toll booths.

 

22. Fly fishermen.

 

23. Girl Scout cookies.

 

24. Ice hockey teams.

 

25. Late night infomercials.

 

26. A do-it-yourself carwash.

 

27. Garage sales.

 

28. A portrait of Millard Fillmore.

 

29. Fraternaties and Sororoties

 

30. A Thai person who claims to have seen a UFO or claims to have been kidnapped by aliens.

 

Oh well . . . can't have everything.

 

 

[Guest JoeM]

Or, at least I haven't seen these . . .

 

2. Fried eggs, once over lightly, done correctly.

 

5. Everyone at your table, in a restaurant, served the main course at the same time.

 

 

Perhaps you need to look a tad bit harder. I have found both of these in Bangkok and Pattaya.

[Guest TOQ2]

Perhaps you need to look a tad bit harder. I have found both of these in Bangkok and Pattaya.

 

 

 

 

Oh where please.. I cant seem to get eggs done right anywhere.

 

 

thanks

 

john

[Gaybutton]

Oh where please.. I cant seem to get eggs done right anywhere.

thanks

 

john

 

Same here. The only time I have ever been able to get them right is when I cook them myself.

 

Well, as long as I obviously have nothing better to do, here's some more things I never see in Thailand:

 

1. HMO's

 

2. Lima beans

 

3. Roller skating rinks

 

4. Thai people who prefer to go by their given name, rather than their nickname.

 

5. "Farang" eating Thai food who say the food isn't hot enough and then start adding more chili peppers.

 

6. Thai people on the Adkins diet.

 

7. Graham crackers.

 

8. A really good traffic flow on Sukhumvit Road, in Bangkok, during rush hour.

 

9. Well behaved "farang" throwing water on people during Songkran.

 

10. Venues that charge much higher prices for "farang" relenting and changing their policy so that everyone pays the Thai price.

 

11. Baht bus drivers telling a "farang" that he only has to pay five baht.

 

12. A shop in Pantip Plaza that sells only legitimate software.

 

13. An Albanian restaurant.

 

14. A disco or karaoke that adheres to the 90-decibel rule.

 

15. A hospital emergency room that asks for your insurance card before treating whatever it was that brought you there.

 

16. A street without any cars double parked.

 

17. Surf boards.

 

18. A quilting bee.

 

19. A Thai grandmother reading "Gunga Din."

 

20. A store that sells lawn mowers.

 

21. A pickup truck with a rebel plate in the front and a shotgun rack in the rear window.

 

22. A Thai television station that shows reruns of "I Love Lucy."

 

23. A Chuck-E-Cheese

 

24. Jimmy Dean Sausage.

 

25. A Thai house painter who uses drop cloths.

 

26. Thai boys who are consistently on time.

 

27. Television commercials advertising denture adhesives.

 

28. A mini-series featuring Richard Chamberlain or Ben Gazarra.

 

29. A restaurant that serves really excellent, American style prime rib.

 

30. Weight Watchers meetings.

[Guest Hedda]

Things rarely seen in Thailand:

 

Posting board members who know when to stop.

 

(just joking, GB, but I couldn't resist )

 

 

[Gaybutton]

Things rarely seen in Thailand:

 

Posting board members who know when to stop.

 

(just joking, GB, but I couldn't resist )

 

Soooooooo. Just for that, I'll have to think up some more . . .

[Guest mauRICE]

Something you never see in Pattaya:

 

A natural redhead.

[Guest Hedda]

You mean that LMTU is sporting a dye job !

[Guest namjai]

hmmm...look at what you dont see here in Las Vegas...cute Thai guys looking at me! hahaha

[Guest ToyFan]

I'm curious. Do you miss all those things? Lima beans? I Love Lucy! Roller skating? (Don't know of a roller rink but there is, or was, an ice rink in Chiang Mai. If you're really hungry for Albanian I'll send you granny's recipe for Albanian style Pizza.

 

One (1) Boy said he wanted to stay with me, no money. So I let him.

 

Last trip a boy was on time or early every day for seven weeks. Maybe because he liked me. Maybe because he liked a t.v. program that started at 6:30. Funny thing, this was one I'd have waited for.

And he knew it.

[Gaybutton]

I'm curious. Do you miss all those things? Lima beans? I Love Lucy! Roller skating? (Don't know of a roller rink but there is, or was, an ice rink in Chiang Mai. If you're really hungry for Albanian I'll send you granny's recipe for Albanian style Pizza.

 

I didn't say I miss those. I only said you never see them in Thailand, although I wouldn't mind some Lima beans. I also wouldn't mind seeing Lucy and Ethel working in the chocolate factory again. As for Albanian pizza, does it have anchovies? If yes, then send me Granny's recipe . . .

 

hmmm...look at what you dont see here in Las Vegas...cute Thai guys looking at me! hahaha

 

I don't know whether they were Thai or not, but I have seen orientals looking at me in Las Vegas. Of course the look I got from them was more like a "you must be joking" look.