The Safety Dance – When To Not Do That Thing You Do

[TotallyOz]

Working on the new site and with another article for it. Suggestions are appreciated. Doctors in the house, chip away at my beliefs.

The Safety Dance – When To Not Do That Thing You Do

Hello again my hunky homos, kinkalicious twinks, dragulous divas and burly bears. It's time for another edition of helpful and horny advice from the Male Escort Review.

At the Male Escort Review, we believe it's all about what you cumtastic cockaholics need to know before and after you get on your knees to blow. We also take your comments and suggestions seriously – particularly when they are in the forums.

Believe it or not my jizzalicious gents, we read all of your comments and even take notes. In fact, the other day I noticed that one of you high quality queers thanked us for taking on the “taboo” subjects that are rarely talked about in the escort community.

That got this bouncing bear thinking and made me decide to take on a more serious topic than usual on this site – the reality of STDs, and what you can do to protect your penis from potent poisons.

I know – usually my missives are all about analtastic alliteration, homoerotic hyperbole and dirty debates about what to do when he farts in your face.

But, sometimes it pays to be a little serious. After all, unless you stick to phone sex there is always a risk of contracting something nasty when you do the naughty. So, I figured it is our obligation to let you guys know how to play safer, even if a guy is so hot he brings you to your knees!

Respect Your Body And Respect Yourself

Just because you are an escort doesn't mean you don't have the right to respect your body and trust your instincts. In the rest of this article, I'm going to talk about some stuff to look out for when you meet a client, but the most important rule of thumb is to trust your instincts.

If you show up at his door and for any reason your radar makes you think the dude may be sick, you have every right to walk away. It's much better to lose out on some money and risk a single bad review than it is to contract a disease by rolling the dice (no FourAces not a negative comment about gambling).

You don't have to be a rude dude or even get crude. Just politely tell the guy that you are uncomfortable with the situation and go out the door. Apologize for wasting his time. You can even tell him you started feeling sick to your stomach on the way over.

Don't ask him if he's sick or not. Asking him will accomplish nothing other than insulting him. Remember, always be professional and polite.

On the other hand, if you are the client and your instincts tell you that something isn't quite right, you also have the right to cancel the date. In this case you should offer him a “kill fee” for taking his time to come over.

But, it's better to be out a few bucks than to put your body at risk. You can make more money; you can't give yourself another life.

Now let's get down to the bare basics of what to look out for and what level of risk you are putting yourself at if you notice the signs of the times.

The Warts Warnings!

This is by far the most common situation you are apt to find yourself in. You start making out with the guy, get his clothes off, drop down to your knees and then notice one or more odd bumps on his meat stick.

If they are white and/or have a cauliflower texture, they are more likely than not genital warts – which are caused by the HPV virus. If you see these, you need to stop and break the date. HPV when it is causing warts is very, very contagious.

The good news is that you can always schedule another appointment with this dirty dude in the future. More than 75 percent of sexually active adults have HPV. Most who do don't know it, because in only a small percentage of the time symptoms like warts are visible.

The rest of the time it sits in your body with no ill effects at all. That said, when it is in the wart stage it will give you warts - and getting the warts burned off your cock hurts more than you can imagine.

So, if you see the bumps it's time to make your excuses. In my case, I'd suggest going to the bathroom, staying inside a while and then coming back out and claiming to have suddenly gotten diarrhea. No one will ever question this – it's just too gross.

Then, offer to set up another appointment a few weeks or months down down the line if this is that boy you just must see or if not, move on altogether. The odds are the guy doesn't realize he has them yet, but in a few days when they start growing and itching, he'll notice them and get them burned off. Once they are gone he'll be a much safer boy to blow.

The Cold Sore Conundrum

For our second bit of medical marvels, we are going to touch upon another common STD that doesn't have to be a permanent deal breaker, but should put you off that date – herpes.

What many men don't realize is that the only difference between cold sores on their lips and genital herpes is social stigma because the straight world is scared of sexalicious stuff.

So, what does that mean to you? Cold sores are fairly common and won't kill you. But, if you get them on or around your dick you will be put out of commission for a while. After all, it can take a few weeks for the scratchy sores to get going.

Many guys decide to go for it, but simply use a condom. Big mistake. We cannot stress this enough – condoms will not protect you from herpes. The way the virus sheds means that if your dick gets anywhere near his mouth, you are putting yourself at risk.

This is one case where we suggest pointing out the problem and offering to simply skip the blowjobs and make out session. You can fuck while the guy has a cold sore and not be at risk. You can kiss his nipples, finger his ass and give him a good spanking.

The only thing you need to avoid is contact between his mouth with your dick, mouth or ass. If you are an inventive erotic escort, you have many pornographic possibilities.

Also, you can always suck his dick – assuming there are no sores down there as well. Most decent clients will understand the problem and be willing to compromise with you. If not, you simply need to walk out the door.

The Clap – All Pain, No Gain!

Now my friendly faggots, it's time to move into the danger zone. Chlamydia, also known as “The Clap” has made a major comeback in the gay community over the past few years and while it won't kill you, it can be a serious pain in the cock!

The Clap is one of the few venereal diseases that are just as easily transmitted during oral sex as it is during anal penetration. In fact, some studies suggest that blowjobs are the most common form of Chlamydia transmission.

The good news is that you can literally keep an eye out for it. Before the really bad symptoms start to occur, the precum out of a guy's piss slit will slightly change color.

We all know what precum is supposed to look like. After all, even if we are virgins we've seen our own, so it's not exactly a saucy secret. In the initial stages of Chlamydia infection, the precum will remain white but will take on a slightly greenish tint.

If you see that, it's time to cancel the date and postpone it to another time. The Clap is extremely easy to cure. It just takes a few days of antibiotics, but when the symptoms come up it will be a nightmare.

Some men describe the symptoms of The Clap when it hits full bloom as “pissing razorblades.” This is why you'll only encounter a client who is in the early stages of infection – because if pissing were hurting him that much, you can be damn sure he wouldn't be trying to get laid.

So, keep to this rule of thumb: If it's green, it ain't clean!

Going Crabbing

I'm a fan of most small animals – and even some larger bears – but the crabs are not on my hit parade. Like The Clap, they are easy to get rid of but a huge hassle when they are there.

Also, like herpes, condoms do absolutely nothing to prevent against crabs – also known as pubic lice.

The crabs are small insects that like to live in pubic hair and particularly like jumping from host to host. And, when they start biting you, you will itch like a bad motherfucker.

The problem is that most people don't know what the crabs look like, so they don't even realize if a dude has them. Male Escort Review to the rescue!

The crabs are very tiny. They look like small freckles. But, if you look closely the freckles will start moving. Therefore if you see what looks like freckles in or around a dude's pubes, wait a second. Try to touch one. If you can move it, it's time to end the date and move on.

Like with The Clap, he'll realize in a few days when he starts itching what the problem is and go get the easy treatment to get rid of them. If we ever have dinner together, ask me the story of my first Crab experience with the Israeli soldier, a PR hustler and a midget. jk about the midget.

That Pozitive Look

It's great to have a positive attitude, but it's not good to look pozitive! Now, this is not to say that you can tell by looking at a dude if he is HIV positive or not. Lots of guys who are infected look healthy as all hell. I have an ex who has been HIV for 24 years and he looks totally healthy and is healthy.

That said, lots of the medication given to treat HIV could cause symptoms that when put together should be a gigantic red flag to consider before you decide to get down and dirty.

A slightly “hollow” look under the eyes is common. Looking too skinny for their overall body type is another signal. Bruises along the arms and legs should also be looked out for. Not one of these things on their own means anything, but when put together should make you think twice.

Remember that condoms are not perfect. They can break. While current AIDS medications can help many people live a long life with HIV, they are expensive and there is, at this point, no cure.

We've all had friends with HIV and, in general, we know what they've looked like at different stages in their medication. If, for any reason, you get a vibe that the dude “looks like he is in the advanced stages of AIDS” it's a good idea to cancel the date as politely as possible.

This is also the case even if you are HIV positive yourself. Some guys think that having HIV is a green light to have all sorts of unprotected sex with other HIV positive dudes. A few years back “sero sorting,” as it was called, was a popular idea. I actually know the genius who coined the term.

Unfortunately medical science has since proven them wrong. The problem is that there are many, many different strains of HIV and all of them have different mortality levels. In fact in New York City a few years ago, a particularly strong strain killed a bunch of guys in a short period of time even though some of the men were on HIV medicines.

Therefore, just because you have one strain of HIV is no reason at all to put yourself at risk for contracting an additional strain. Plus, the nature of HIV is that it weakens your immune system – so that if you have sex with another HIV positive guy, you are also more likely to contract other STDs.

So, always play safe – no matter what your status – and if your instincts set off warning bells about a certain guy, trust them.

As they said on my mother's favorite soap opera, we only have “One Life To Live.”

I love sex and I have sex with guys I know are negative and those I know are positive. There are just different things I do with them sexually. If I am ever not sure, I use caution.

That's It For The Serious Shit – Now Let's Get Back To The Fun And Games!

There you go – the Male Escort Review's explanation of the most common STDs that can show visible symptoms and what to look out for.

I hope this didn't kill your boner – but we do really want to keep you guys healthy and around for as long as possible.

The key is to keep doing what you do, but be aware – and fuck away like you just don't care.

And don't worry, I promise to get back to awesome alliterative allusions as soon as I'm sure you are safe, sane and sexy!

cc 2009 MaleEscortReview.com

[manticore]

You don't have to be a rude dude or even get crude. Just politely tell the guy that you are uncomfortable with the situation and go out the door. Apologize for wasting his time. You can even tell him you started feeling sick to your stomach on the way over.

Don't ask him if he's sick or not. Asking him will accomplish nothing other than insulting him. Remember, always be professional and polite.

I think that being professional would be to explain why you are leaving rather than being vague about it.

On the other hand, if you are the client and your instincts tell you that something isn't quite right, you also have the right to cancel the date. In this case you should offer him a “kill fee†for taking his time to come over.

Again, being vague and cancelling is leaving the other person in the dark. A cancellation fee is a nice gesture, but just because you're giving the guy some money doesn't mean he wouldn't also benefit from knowing why you cancelled.

[TotallyOz]

As Lucky noted in his thread, Sex with Poz Guys, I know my position is not for everyone. However, each person has to make up their mind on what they want and how far to go. I can not tell you the number of times that I have hired an escort and they came to my place sniffling or sneezing or it was obvious they were sick. I simply pay them the money and tell them they should not have showed up sick and that I will see them again when they are over the illness. However, I am pretty verbal and tell them I was disappointed they came being sick and just about every single time I get the same response, "sorry, I just really needed the money." I am sure they were being honest or they would not have showed up. I don't care what the reason was, my choice was to stop the encounter. I have friends who have experienced the same and they don't pay a "kill fee" or anything else. To each his own. I gave my opinion and like my mother always said, "opinions are like assholes, everyone has them."

I think that being professional would be to explain why you are leaving rather than being vague about it.

Again, being vague and cancelling is leaving the other person in the dark. A cancellation fee is a nice gesture, but just because you're giving the guy some money doesn't mean he wouldn't also benefit from knowing why you cancelled.

Thank you. I agree with you and will work on an edit for this.

[JKane]

How about preventative treatments?

Can guys get vacinated for HPV?

No mention was made of Hepatitus, there is a vaccination for the A and B varieties that would seem to be a must for any working escort...

There are drugs to lessen the duration of Herpes outbreaks that lower the chance of somebody who doesn't have it of catching it. This would also probably be a good idea for any working escort to persue.

Then there is screening. There are clinics, RVs in West Hollywood, etc. I use AIM Healthcare, easy to walk in and talk to a doctor who's seen it all, the best tests for everything (though can be expensive). Sometimes there's great pornstar eye candy (NO SOLICITING), it's great for clients who want to keep their 'hobby' discreet and away from their work's medical insurance...

[Guest FourAces]

The real safety dance

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcOZ6xFxJqg

[seaboy4hire]

The real safety dance

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcOZ6xFxJqg

This was one of my fav songs to dance around too when I wasn't being an angry angst baby gay! Pardon me now while I press the play button and swing around to the beat of the song

Greg