The Trouble with Socks

[eeyore]

Life is turning into a frustrating conundrum for me. Today I was folding my laundry only to end up with an orphan sock. This is not a one-off aberrant event. It is becoming increasingly common. How is this possible? I put my socks on two at a time and I take them off two at a time. Two of them go directly from my feet into the washer and dryer. There is no intermediate clothes hamper. Simple mathematics requires that two come out of the dryer. Socks come in pairs. That’s all there is to it. This fact is axiomatic and immutable. Ending up with an orphan sock violates the fundamental nature of things. It defies all principles of logic and reason. This is a totally unacceptable state of affairs. Perhaps some of you can provide constructive counsel on this matter. And this was a nice pair of socks (no holes…). What am I supposed to do with only one sock?

Anyway, here’s a few pairs I hope stay together…

[AdamSmith]

Cause: As a small child, on washdays when rain stopped my mother from using the clothesline, I would go with her to the commercial laundry. She voiced the same observation as you. I formed the hypothesis that all clothes dryers in the world must be connected through a network of underground vents, through which some of one's own clothes -- socks especially -- are exchanged for those of strangers.

Solution: (1) Never use commercial laundries. (2) Throw out all your existing socks. Buy 20 new pairs, all identical. (3) When they start to get visibly ragged, throw them all out and start over. (4) Better yet, engage one of the pairs pictured above to handle all this for you.

[Lucky]

If your losing socks means that we get more pix like these, then I hope your whole sock collection disappears...and soon!

[Guest STUDCODY]

Life is turning into a frustrating conundrum for me. Today I was folding my laundry only to end up with an orphan sock. This is not a one-off aberrant event. It is becoming increasingly common. How is this possible? I put my socks on two at a time and I take them off two at a time. Two of them go directly from my feet into the washer and dryer. There is no intermediate clothes hamper. Simple mathematics requires that two come out of the dryer. Socks come in pairs. That’s all there is to it. This fact is axiomatic and immutable. Ending up with an orphan sock violates the fundamental nature of things. It defies all principles of logic and reason. This is a totally unacceptable state of affairs. Perhaps some of you can provide constructive counsel on this matter. And this was a nice pair of socks (no holes…). What am I supposed to do with only one sock?

Anyway, here’s a few pairs I hope stay together…

Sorry to hear about the disappearing sock, but I love the way you write! I'm always losing socks, underwear, shirts... it's discouraging at times when a favorite item is lost/misplaced!

[eeyore]

Cause: As a small child, on washdays when rain stopped my mother from using the clothesline, I would go with her to the commercial laundry. She voiced the same observation as you. I formed the hypothesis that all clothes dryers in the world must be connected through a network of underground vents, through which some of one's own clothes -- socks especially -- are exchanged for those of strangers.

Solution: (1) Never use commercial laundries. (2) Throw out all your existing socks. Buy 20 new pairs, all identical. (3) When they start to get visibly ragged, throw them all out and start over. (4) Better yet, engage one of the pairs pictured above to handle all this for you.

Thank you for your input. I’ve considered each option carefully and have come to the conclusion that option number 4 is really the only acceptable solution. Indeed, after some reflection I’ve decided that in my old age I will really need all three of these pairs: One to cook for me, one to clean, one to handle the gardening and grounds maintenance, one to drive me, one to bathe me, and of course one to manage my socks problem. That makes six (3 pair). Well, now come to think of it I will need to hire a very strict mamasan to manage all of them, otherwise I see things getting out of control. That makes seven – an orphan problem AGAIN.

Now if socks came in trios instead of a pairs, then I could lose one and still end up with a beautiful pair. To illustrate:

Is any of this making sense?

‘The old grey donkey, Eeyore stood by himself in a thistly corner of the Forest, his front feet well apart, his head on one side, and thought about things. Sometimes he thought sadly to himself, "Why?" and sometimes he thought, "Wherefore?" and sometimes he thought, "Inasmuch as which?" and sometimes he didn't quite know what he was thinking about.’

A.A. Milne Winnie the Pooh

[AdamSmith]

Well, now come to think of it I will need to hire a very strict mamasan to manage all of them, otherwise I see things getting out of control. That makes seven – an orphan problem AGAIN.

No, no! She is simply -- the butler. That without which no household can call itself truly civilized. (Still waitin for mine.)

Is any of this making sense?

So much that I almost wish you would stop it.

But please don't.

[eeyore]

If you combine two pair I think that makes a quad doesn’t it? Or must all the components be identical? Well they aren’t identical but I think they still match up well:

[caeron]

I find that equipping my bedside table with a cum towel reduces the lost sock process

[eeyore]

I thought of another solution. If I lose one from this bunch then I’m left with a quad – or two very nice pairs!. Or is this an example of circular reasoning?

[Guest Barry]

Life is turning into a frustrating conundrum for me. Today I was folding my laundry only to end up with an orphan sock.

In days of old when knights were bold and rubbers weren't invented

They wrapped a sock around their cock and babies were prevented

Perhaps it has something to do with time travelers.

[eeyore]

I guess being left with an orphan isn’t always so bad. I’m very sleepy now. I think I will sip a glass of Merlot and go to bed – and dream...

[Lucky]

What nice pictures! And even a comment from Barry.

How could I go wrong reviving this thread?

I've gotten a crew together to look for that sock:

[Lucky]

Oops, I think I found it...either the sock or a new avatar:

Now who's going to take it from him?

[Lucky]

Gosh, who would have thought that reviving this thread with those beautiful boys and also finding the sock would have been such a disaster? I even put up an avatar for Lookin...sigh.

[lookin]

Sometimes a thread will leave me speechless, and this was one of those times. I must have missed this one the first time around and have just now finished kicking myself. Are there any more like these at home?

So nice to see your new avatar! He seems to have nice large feet. Is it true what they say?

[Lucky]

I think so!

[OneFinger]

OMG!!!

I love the artwork. Wish I had an empty wall to add it to my collection.

[Lucky]

I thought eeyore would at least enjoy this thread being revived. Maybe he is off with hitoallusa!

[eeyore]

Sorry. In Vancouver airport lounge just getting caught up here. Now if I could just figure out what happened to that other sock when I packed my bag this morning....