Zany Scots

[AdamSmith]

What they get up to this time of year...

The 50 best jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe

(AdamSmith's outtakes)

"Victoria Beckham? Does this tampon make me look fat?" – Joan Rivers, on celebrities

"Politicians are like God. No one believes in them, they haven't done anything for ages, and they give jobs to their immediate family" – Andy Zaltzman

"I'm dating now, because I ran out of hooker money" – Rick Shapiro

"The Scots invented hypnosis, chloroform and the hypodermic syringe. Wouldn't it just be easier to talk to a woman?" – Stephen Brown

"'What's a couple?' I asked my mum. She said, 'Two or three'. Which probably explains why her marriage collapsed" – Josie Long

"I like David Beckham. Most of us have skeletons in our closet. But he takes his out in public" – Andrew Lawrence

"My boyfriend likes role play. He likes to pretend we're married. He waits until I go to bed, then he looks at porn and has a wank" – Joanna Neary

"I used to go out with Christopher Reeve, but I just had to keep standing him up" – Steve Hall

"I once buggered a man unconscious. I'm lying, he was already unconscious when I found him" – Tom Deacon

"I never know the right thing to say, especially during sex. After my first time, I said to the girl, 'That's it, I'm afraid'" – Tom Deacon

Still more at http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertai...nge-898042.html

[BiBottomBoy]

Q. What does a Scotsman say after sex?

A. "Are you boys all on the same team?"

What they get up to this time of year...

The 50 best jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe

(AdamSmith's outtakes)

"Victoria Beckham? Does this tampon make me look fat?" – Joan Rivers, on celebrities

"Politicians are like God. No one believes in them, they haven't done anything for ages, and they give jobs to their immediate family" – Andy Zaltzman

"I'm dating now, because I ran out of hooker money" – Rick Shapiro

"The Scots invented hypnosis, chloroform and the hypodermic syringe. Wouldn't it just be easier to talk to a woman?" – Stephen Brown

"'What's a couple?' I asked my mum. She said, 'Two or three'. Which probably explains why her marriage collapsed" – Josie Long

"I like David Beckham. Most of us have skeletons in our closet. But he takes his out in public" – Andrew Lawrence

"My boyfriend likes role play. He likes to pretend we're married. He waits until I go to bed, then he looks at porn and has a wank" – Joanna Neary

"I used to go out with Christopher Reeve, but I just had to keep standing him up" – Steve Hall

"I once buggered a man unconscious. I'm lying, he was already unconscious when I found him" – Tom Deacon

"I never know the right thing to say, especially during sex. After my first time, I said to the girl, 'That's it, I'm afraid'" – Tom Deacon

Still more at http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertai...nge-898042.html

[TampaYankee]

Q. What does a Scotsman say after sex?

A. "Are you boys all on the same team?"

Did someone mention a Scotsman?

[BiBottomBoy]

Did someone mention a Scotsman?

I'm no transvestite, but there have been times when I wish I was wearing a kilt.

It would save so much time to just be able to lift it up and be ready to go.

[TotallyOz]

My first trip overseas ever was when I was 16 years old. It was to Scotland. I had a great time and fell in love with the men there, the accents and the country. I have visited at least 10 times since and that love has yet to waver. And, yes, I do love a man in a kilt.

[BiBottomBoy]

My first trip overseas ever was when I was 16 years old. It was to Scotland. I had a great time and fell in love with the men there, the accents and the country. I have visited at least 10 times since and that love has yet to waver. And, yes, I do love a man in a kilt.

Ever play with their bagpipes?