A Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich...

[TampaYankee]

well, not exactly, but just the same, my day sucked!

With my Dell Laptop quite long in the tooth, living in constant concern that it might go belly-up at any moment, I jumped on an EL Cheapo Best Buy best buy -- fancy (for me) new Compaq laptop with AMD Turion Dual Core fancy schmancy processor, 3GB RAM, 200GB HD, full up DVD/CD Drive (short of BluRay capable), Nvidia GeForce 800M video card, and complete with power supply, battery, and polishing cloth -- $499 + shipping.

Bought it Sunday. Arrived on Wednesday and stepped over it, in its UPS box, until Saturday afternoon when I opened the shipping box, and the computer box and verified all parts were therein: the computer, the battery, the power supply, the READ ME FIRST sheet that unfolds to table cloth size, and a polishing cloth in a little plastic bag. Along with the polishing cloth in the little bag was an abbreviated owners manual, instructions provided in English, French and Spanish, (I was suprised at their perceptiveness about how savoir faire chic this customer is) and my warranty describing all the limitations to my rights , again in the palate of tongues.

So far, so good. I screw up my fortitude and unfold the table-cloth-size READ ME FIRST instructions which say:

1. Insert battery into computer.

2. Connect power supply to computer, then and only then plug into outlet.

3. Strap on your seat belt, power up, and do everthing that your computer tells you.

Wow!! Doubt sets in. I'm not sure I'm ready to make a blind commitment to 'do everthing' the computer tells me! Such blind commitment to a totally strange computer seemed all too daunting to me. I backed away, I turned go... (a tune echos in my head). THis level of commitment will have to wait another day.

Did I mention that the fancy schmancy computer has an Nvidia GeForce 800M video card? A few hours later... I receive notice from one of my online mail lists about the following:

Graphic Card Problem May Affect Millions of Computers

Nvidia admits problem but doesn't alert consumers

(for those interested in details: http://www.consumeraffairs.com/news04/2008/08/nvidia.html )

I read and slowly absorb... a deep funk sets in. The new fancy schmancy AMD Turion computer, the computer I just popped the seal on a few hours earlier, that the fancy schmancy computer has a birth defect -- possible a fatal flaw. Its mother unwilling to recognize the unalterable truth about her offspring. So disconcerting is the reality.

Then another realization sets in. It not just me that has been screwed... it seems everyone (almost) is up for a porking on this one. Nvidia Ge8M cards are everywhere, in most computers. There is strength in numbers... isn't there? It is nice to know that I won't be the only one seeking clarification to my 'Limitation of Rights' as described in my little plastic bag.

Had I only waited a few more hours or days to pop the box....

Whammy #2, later that night...

Having climbed far enough out of my earlier funk, I decide to let the world in... I tune in to the Olympics for a dose of swimming and gynastics feats by some really really hunky and some very cute guys. Love the asian gymnasts. They get my head into all sorts of contortions as their mucsles pop and bulge and flex and... Cute asses too.

I am watching on my vintage CRT TV probably purchased especially for the olympics long ago if not far away... maybe in the Bush 1 years? I could have determined by measuring the dust thickness if I had cared enough or only knew what was to come.... Well, as I sat glued to the muscles and butts... I mean the ancient TV, I began to wonder if there was a off odor somewhere. Nothing definite. Couldn't decide yes or no? I continued to watch... now shimmering swimmers. There that faint odor again, or is it.

I had known the TV was in the autumn of its years (another tune in the back of my head yearns to play out) but with the new flat screens coming down in price, making them almost affordable, I was holding out until they actually would be affordable. I had balanced the dilemma: new laptop or TV. One is business, the other pleasure. Business always wins out over pleasure, and besides, the El Cheapo computer was a steal. (Did I mention that the Nvidia GeForce 800M video card?) The TV's just lingering out of reach... I digress.

As I watch the shimmering swimming bodies fly through the water, sleek and erotic in an athletic way, I am convinced that there is an off odor wafting past my olfactory sensors. Then I become distracted with the TV screen as the swimming pool has gone dark... the colors flash on the screen, yellows, whites, some bluish maybe... interspersed with blackness. My mind has only fractions of a second to survey the scene.

What has happened at the Olympics? Have they cut away to a fire works exhibition?

A power failure at the venue? Accidental electrocutions caused by power leakage to the pool? Terrorists with flash grenades?

It all becomes clear as a suprisingly thick cloud of black smoke with a noxious odor, that same odor only hinted of earlier, emminates for the back of my vintage TV. Wow... smoke to go with the on-screen fire works. Who said smellivision is still far off?

Imagining my home is not far from going up in flames, I leap out of the recliner, across the room, to frantically pull all plugs frm the power strips and outlets. Which one is the TV? The VCR? The cable box? The wireless router? Are there actual flames yet (that action above) I wonder as I grapple in the floor with cords and plugs.

Whew.... finally.... all of the power cords are unplugged. Backing away reveals no flames visible, smoke still apparent but dimishing noticably. A minute passes. The worst seems behind. No fire. Only noxious odors and old smoke floating in the air. One more TV for the ash heap of history. That baby has seen its last night in my house. I struggle to drag it outside, down the walk way and leave it in the driveway figuring not much to catch on fire there if some pesky flame rekindles of its own accord.

It seems vintage is only a good thing when it comes to wines.

Now, I have no TV... well actually a small vintage TV in storage inherited from a relative, and a new fancy schmancy el cheapo lap top with warnings that my screen may be dark or full of colored lines when I power up!

I wonder if Best Buy will take a trade of one almost unopened fancy schmancy el cheapo lap top for a modest flat screen replacement TV, without hitting me up for a restocking fee? No, wait... business comes first. I'll have to live with the inherited TV and maybe some opera glasses. Did I mention it is a really small screen TV?

To paraphrase a citrus drink analogy... categorize this as making manure out of shit.

[Lucky]

My sympathies, TY. My expensive new desktop from HP cannot function with IE, so I have learned to love Mozilla. (It does have a tv-tuner that I don't know how to use. In fact, I have a box full of wires and stuff leftover.)

My new Hybrid car started out with the expected 34 mpg, but got as low as 20. Nissan says everything is fine.

My cute little Flip Mino video camera works just fine, but I have yet to take a video I want to keep!

I too am enjoying the Asian men doing their gymnastics, but they all seem so unhappy. Is that because of the the soldiers standing above them? Succeed or die?

[JKane]

I wouldn't worry too much about the graphics card, the problems have been known for a while now. It may already be done but check the manufacturer's website for a BIOS and graphics driver update. A lot of times the problem is solved by speeding up the fan with those updates.

For $50-$100 you can get a USB TV tuner for your computer--especially great if you new computer came with Media Center (Vista Home Premium and Ultimate) which is a pretty damn good 'tivo' built into the OS. The better ones can now tune unscrambled digital cable: look for QAM compatibility. You may also be able to get over the air HD if you're in a city, even on a laptop screen that'd look 10X better for the Olympics than your old CRT...

[TampaYankee]

My sympathies, TY. My expensive new desktop from HP cannot function with IE, so I have learned to love Mozilla. (It does have a tv-tuner that I don't know how to use. In fact, I have a box full of wires and stuff leftover.)

My new Hybrid car started out with the expected 34 mpg, but got as low as 20. Nissan says everything is fine.

My cute little Flip Mino video camera works just fine, but I have yet to take a video I want to keep!

I too am enjoying the Asian men doing their gymnastics, but they all seem so unhappy. Is that because of the the soldiers standing above them? Succeed or die?

Your reply is most welcome as misey loves company.

[TampaYankee]

I wouldn't worry too much about the graphics card, the problems have been known for a while now. It may already be done but check the manufacturer's website for a BIOS and graphics driver update. A lot of times the problem is solved by speeding up the fan with those updates.

Thanks for the ray of hope. Does this mean that the odd x-rated photo I might mistakenly stumble on surfing could cause a meltdown? Not me, I'm used to heat flashes; but my machine? Sounds like I could use a fire extinguisher more than a polishing cloth.

For $50-$100 you can get a USB TV tuner for your computer--especially great if you new computer came with Media Center (Vista Home Premium and Ultimate) which is a pretty damn good 'tivo' built into the OS. The better ones can now tune unscrambled digital cable: look for QAM compatibility. You may also be able to get over the air HD if you're in a city, even on a laptop screen that'd look 10X better for the Olympics than your old CRT...

Thanks for the info. Maybe it is time I enter the 'TV on Computer' age?

[Lucky]

Hey Misey-

This am had to be out at 5:30, so I turned off the a/c on the car. Maybe Nissan is right- my mileage almost doubled.

(It was only 75 degrees at 5:30!!)

Also, tonight, at 7:30, big gymnastics event featuring the Chinese favorites. That's EDT and CDT.

[marcanthony]

There you go... too much technical knowledge=bad thing.

My understanding of computers is how to turn them on, surf the web, and email cute discoveries while surfing the web.

Hence, opening a new computer out of its box has only brought joy and happiness to me... never thoughts of Siberian incarceration.

Several things hanging with the young (e.g. twink) age group has helped me with....

1) Enthusiasm

2) Energy

3) Appreciation for music with a thumping repetitive beat

4) A little less concern (just a little less... I can't ever get to their level) for what the future will bring

Start planning a return to Montreal, TY. It's clear you need it!

[TampaYankee]

Several things hanging with the young (e.g. twink) age group has helped me with....

1) Enthusiasm

2) Energy

3) Appreciation for music with a thumping repetitive beat

4) A little less concern (just a little less... I can't ever get to their level) for what the future will bring

Please share with me which brand of vitamins you take.

Start planning a return to Montreal, TY. It's clear you need it!

I definitely need distraction... along with a TV too. Do they have big screen TVs for cheap up there? I could find a use for the opera glasses in Montreal too.