A Reviewer Writes About a Declined Review

[TampaYankee]

I received this email from a reviewer and thought it would be useful to share it and the relevant part of my response with the community. I suspect that this reviewer's thoughts are shared by more than a few others.

The email:

Let me begin by emphasizing two things. First, I congratulate you on creating and maintaining a wonderful website. It is a real contribution to the community and a great resource, and I thank you for all of your hard work on it. Second, I fully accept that when you own the site, you get to to make the rules and I have no problem with that.

So, when you declined my review of xxxxxx and gave your reasons, I was okay -- you wanted more of a play-by-play than I was comfortable giving. Then, a few days later, I saw the review of Jasonk that was accepted and published. And, a few days after that, I saw the Zackhudson review. If any reviews constitute simple "press releases," if any reviews are "barren of relevant information about the reviewer's experience," surely it is those reviews. I simply do not believe that all reviews are held to the standard you imposed on mine, but, as I said before, you get to make the calls and you can consider whatever you want and you don't have to be consistent.

I have seen xxxxxx a number of times and hope to see him again. I may try another review, for his sake. These reviews are important to him and he deserves the support. Again, I enjoy the site and wish you continued success with it. --- (reviewer name expunged)

The response:

(reviewer name expunged),

Thank you for responding...

A second thanks for conveying your opinion thoughtfully. I appreciate thoughtful feedback. You question whether all reviews are held to the same standard. They are all held to the same general minimal standard but the results may appear, at first glance, to vary with the type of escort service.

First, I admit that the decision process is not an easy call in all circumstances. I do approve reviews that I find inadequate from my personal standpoint. Actually many accepted reviews fall short of that standard. However, my personal tastes don't dictate the acceptance standard.

To explain the acceptance standard I have to make a few points that influence the standard.

1. Not all reviewers are adept at written expression.

2. Not all reviewers give much thought about what to write.

3. Not all reviewers seek the same 'type' or 'level' of service.

4. Not all reviewers intend to provide more than praise for the escort.

The basic standard is: Are there ANY Facts that permit potential clients to draw inferences about what service they could expect with the escort. This necessarily goes beyond 'praise-only' experiences.

The Jasonk review that you cite was a hard call for me. It was thin at best but in the end I came down on the side to accept. The facts: 1) muscle worship session and 2) the escort was receptive to receiving oral service from the client. Certainly not an escort experience that tempts me to hire. So why did I accept?

I don't know if you are familiar with the old HooBoy site Message Board or the Old Gaiety Male Strip Theatre in NYC. Many patrons of the theatre shared their off-site experiences and recommendations of dancers who in many cases were little more than muscleworship posers that would permit themselves to be orally serviced at between $200 - $300 per 45 minute hour. This points out a demand in part of the community for this type of service thus I decided to accept it.

The ZachHudson2 review met the minimal criteria that some facts were presented that would let prospective clients infer what they can expect: kissing and active anal from Zach. It is not the best written experience, it was minimal but it did provide some facts that prospective clients and, better, future reviewers can measure their experience against.

Your review experience was a very well written description of the personality and personal attributes of the escort. However, after reading it I could make no inference on what specifics to expect in the way of services. The style and thoughtfulness of your writing was much beyond the other reviews but ultimately it was only praise.

Some (not you) accuse me of demanding porn short stories for acceptance. That could not be further from the truth. It is invoked as a defensive reaction by those too inhibited to share what happened. They choose not to accept a middle ground of basic presentation of facts. Facts can be cast in the style of Grey's Anatomy (the book) or Masters and Johnson, or Henry Miller. Facts are facts and style is style. We seek facts. Reviewers choose style.

So the bottom line acceptance standard is: Are there some facts that permit interested members of the hiring community to infer services they could expect to receive. Admittedly, that standard provides for acceptance of reviews with varying styles and information relevancy and content. It is a minimal standard not a quality standard. It requires judgments be made. I do my best. I'm not always happy with the result but I'm less happy with the alternative.

I hope I haven't bored you with the lengthy response but you expressed a earnest doubt about the process and I felt I owed you an earnest response.

TY

[Lucky]

There is always a question as to what should be put in a review. Recently a hot escort to whom I am much attracted had the opportunity to get naked in my presence. I looked forward to seeing his hot brown bubble butt up close and personal. I let him know that I would be excited to see him strip and present himself to me, and got excited as the pants came down and he started to spread his cheeks as his butt came closer to my face.

So far, so good. I would put that in the review. But, as his most private area came into clearer view, the heat making itself known to my excited sensors, I realized that he had debris. Should I include that in my review? What if the debris was not fecal, but just toilet paper? Wouldn't the reader want to know that the escort may or may not pay attention to his hygiene? Or should I assume that this was a one time thing?

And, beyond the review, how would you as a customer handle the situation? I didn't really want the debris on my face, but had it not been there I would like to have made lingual contact with his anal aperture. Should I try to brush it away, hoping not to embarass him? Or should I have spoken up? Please advise.

[Guest StuCotts]

There is always a question as to what should be put in a review. Recently a hot escort to whom I am much attracted had the opportunity to get naked in my presence. I looked forward to seeing his hot brown bubble butt up close and personal. I let him know that I would be excited to see him strip and present himself to me, and got excited as the pants came down and he started to spread his cheeks as his butt came closer to my face.

So far, so good. I would put that in the review. But, as his most private area came into clearer view, the heat making itself known to my excited sensors, I realized that he had debris. Should I include that in my review? What if the debris was not fecal, but just toilet paper? Wouldn't the reader want to know that the escort may or may not pay attention to his hygiene? Or should I assume that this was a one time thing?

And, beyond the review, how would you as a customer handle the situation? I didn't really want the debris on my face, but had it not been there I would like to have made lingual contact with his anal aperture. Should I try to brush it away, hoping not to embarass him? Or should I have spoken up? Please advise.

This is one reader who would certainly want to know about any such neglect of personal hygiene by any escort I was considering hiring. You don't know whether it's a one-time thing. If it's been allowed to happen even once it may be allowed to happen again, not to say habitually.

Look at it from the other side. Would you feel well served by a review that could have mentioned that failing in an escort you expect to hire but didn't mention it?

I assume your last question is serious. At the risk of seeming hypersensitive, I'd be turned off enough to end the session right then by politely but plainly stating the problem. And I'd definitely feel called upon to write that review.

[Lucky]

Yes, the last question is serious...

[AdamSmith]

The basic standard is: Are there ANY Facts that permit potential clients to draw inferences about what service they could expect with the escort. This necessarily goes beyond 'praise-only' experiences.

Coincidentally, we have Daddy to thank for an object lesson.

MER just published this review of MuscleBoyWill/NYC:

http://www.maleescortreview.com/index.php?...rt_id=208070001

From this, I can make a fair judgment whether I would enjoy seeing him. (I think I would!)

Today Daddy published this review of the same gentleman:

http://www.daddysreviews.com/newest.php?wh..._nyc&page=0

"I had a fantastic time throughout, and although I won`t go in details, I had a superb experience - was well horny throughout and enjoyed the whole experience."

No doubt the reviewer had a good time. But no idea why, or whether I might.

[caeron]

No doubt the reviewer had a good time. But no idea why, or whether I might.

This is why I really prefer reviews here to there.

You don't have to write soft core porn, but most of us have acts we like in the bedroom, and if we're paying, we want to get what we want. If you include NO facts about what you did, how am I to know if this escort will satisfy?

[TampaYankee]

So far, so good. I would put that in the review. But, as his most private area came into clearer view, the heat making itself known to my excited sensors, I realized that he had debris. Should I include that in my review? What if the debris was not fecal, but just toilet paper? Wouldn't the reader want to know that the escort may or may not pay attention to his hygiene? Or should I assume that this was a one time thing?

And, beyond the review, how would you as a customer handle the situation? I didn't really want the debris on my face, but had it not been there I would like to have made lingual contact with his anal aperture. Should I try to brush it away, hoping not to embarass him? Or should I have spoken up? Please advise.

I'm curious about your own answers to your questions. You are a seasoned client. You have essential first hand knowledge of the escort that none of us have.

Is he serious about service or on a lark? Is he new and clueless or seasoned who should know better but doesn't care? Are you inclined to teach someone in need of and willing to learn or are all escorts expected to be seasoned pros? That can influence the review perspective.

How did the escort respond to the incident. Was he earnestly apologetic with an explanation or present the attitude 'shit happens'? Did he shower and clean up and give a great time or was he sent away in embarassment or resentment? Escort response is a signigicant factor in the reviewer response.

Only you know the answers to these questions and others that influence what should go in the review and how it should be presented.

[lookin]

TY, thanks for sharing the email from the mystery reviewer, and your response. They're both helpful in bracketing a range of opinions about which reviews should see the light of day, and which should be hidden under a bushel basket. My own take is pretty far to one side, so I've kept it to myself thus far. But, hey, I'm in the middle of cleaning out a very dusty attic, and need a break, so here comes a minority opinion.

First, for me, I'm really interested in reading what others care to share. If I'm interested in a guy, I'll read everything I can find. The worst that can happen is that I get misled with bad info. My insurance against that is to look for more than one review, and/or credible reviewers. If I can find only one review, and it doesn't have much information, or it's unrealistically positive or unrealistically negative, I figure I'm no worse off than I was before. I don't recall ever being so rushed for time that I regretted the two or three minutes it took to scan a review, no matter how useless it might prove to be. Maybe if I were one of those guys who used to spin two dozen pie plates at once on the Ed Sullivan show I'd feel trifled with but, for now, I've got a few minutes to waste reading a useless review. I can just move on.

But more important than that is that I just never know what it is that's going to make the difference between hiring a guy or not. A reviewer may write no more than the fact that the guy had a warm smile and dimples, and it could be just what I wanted to hear. Or he might say only that the escort was dressed to the nines; if I'm not in the mood for a GQ type escort, that could very well send me scurrying to the next guy on my list. Sometimes the littlest detail will help tip the scale. And I don't always know in advance what's going to do the trick, so to speak.

On the other hand, when I read a review that's chock full of the nitty gritty, I sometimes wonder how I'd react if I hired the guy and he said he's not really in the mood for any nitty, and I can forget all about the gritty for today. Those reviews are fun to read (and write!), but I've never looked at them as any kind of ironclad guarantee.

So, I'm going to cast one lone vote for printing all the reviews that aren't obvious fakes. But I'll also acknowledge, as others have, that you're the one who sets the standards for a very helpful site, and I'll gratefully eat the kibble that's in my bowl.

Thanks for the break, and back to my dusty attic!

[Guest StuCotts]

A thought in passing: I find myself hoping that the reviewer whose review was turned down doesn't lose hope and does submit again. His good manners and smooth, clear prose make me believe that any review of his that passes muster on the facts will be fair, well written and welcome.

So different from the individual a while back whose shrill rant on the inviolability of his review made it a relief to read the part where he vows never again to submit a review here.

[TampaYankee]

A thought in passing: I find myself hoping that the reviewer whose review was turned down doesn't lose hope and does submit again.

He did... and it was posted.

[AdamSmith]

He did... and it was posted.

That is good to hear.

If the only effect of the current strict policy were to lose reviews, however thin, that would lend strength to the arguments in favor of posting all and sundry.

But if current policy is succeeding in getting thin reviews fleshed out and resubmitted, that seems a considerable achievement in its favor.

[TampaYankee]

That is good to hear.

If the only effect of the current strict policy were to lose reviews, however thin, that would lend strength to the arguments in favor of posting all and sundry.

But if current policy is succeeding in getting thin reviews fleshed out and resubmitted, that seems a considerable achievement in its favor.

We win some, loose some.

[Lucky]

I'm curious about your own answers to your questions. You are a seasoned client. You have essential first hand knowledge of the escort that none of us have.

Is he serious about service or on a lark? Is he new and clueless or seasoned who should know better but doesn't care? Are you inclined to teach someone in need of and willing to learn or are all escorts expected to be seasoned pros? That can influence the review perspective.

How did the escort respond to the incident. Was he earnestly apologetic with an explanation or present the attitude 'shit happens'? Did he shower and clean up and give a great time or was he sent away in embarassment or resentment? Escort response is a signigicant factor in the reviewer response.

Only you know the answers to these questions and others that influence what should go in the review and how it should be presented.

TY- Early on in my sexual life, I erred and was gratified that my partner was kind in his reaction. So my subsequent reactions to escorts slipping up on hygiene have been kind as well. I either shift my positon to move on to another activity, endure it (such as bad breath) or kindly suggest that those armpits may really turn some guys on, but a shower would be fun for me. I have never embarrassed the person, even when the shit hit the bed big time. The toilet paper incident was a lap dance in Montreal, and I simply suggested how much I wanted to see his cock instead.

But I don't write these incidents in reviews. Only one was egregious enough that it should have been reported. The escort had clearly forgotten I was coming, he was clearly high on crystal and had seemed to have been been up allnight as he was lubed all over. He still wanted to go on with the date, but he had a huge cold sore so I declined. I was quite annoyed that he had wasted my time, but, he was a legendary escort and a bad review would have had his fans all over me instead. So I said nothing. After all, we don't owe anyone a review.

[TampaYankee]

I have never embarrassed the person, even when the shit hit the bed big time.

That would have been my guess.

The toilet paper incident was a lap dance in Montreal, and I simply suggested how much I wanted to see his cock instead.

Ahhh.... Yes, been there experienced that. Not exactly a reviewable experience but unpleasant no less. It is amazing how cramped a dance cubicle can feel even after requesting the dancer do a 180.

I was quite annoyed that he had wasted my time, but, he was a legendary escort and a bad review would have had his fans all over me instead. So I said nothing. After all, we don't owe anyone a review.

One of my hopes for this site was a place where all legit reviews were accepted and reviewers felt comfortable taking on even the 'stars' if warranted. It is clear that over the years that peer pressure or admin decisions have caused more than a few negative encounters with 'stars' to never see the light of day.

After a couple of years in this business, one thing I have come to appreciate is how very compromised review data bases are by what they contain and by what they don't contain. Ignoring the issue of real content for the moment, the number of bogus reviews submitted taken with legit reviews that never see the light of day. Apparently, it doesn't matter much to the broad readership as they get glimmers of this from time to time and still seem ready to settle for it.

One thing I can guarantee is that this admin has never spiked a legitimate unflattering review of a 'star' and never will. Even stars can have an off day or cause disappointment by looking past an encounter on occasion or suffer from muddled communications that lead to misunderstanding. They are big boys and can speak for themselves. Even 'stars' have the right to rebut unfavorable comments and should have the opportunity to, just as their disappointed client should have the opportunity to relay the shortcomings of his experience.

From day one we have been dedicated to a level playing field for escorts and clients.

[Guest StuCotts]

TY -- Thanks for calmly but effectively making the point about star escorts. I was tempted to try, but couldn't put it together without sounding rancorous even to myself.