A Man without a home or country

[TotallyOz]

For years, I have taken to the sky and to the trains for adventure and enjoyment. Last year, I decided I would try to settle down in NYC. It was a lovely idea but one that was not well thought out or planned. I had forgotten how much I hated cold weather and walking outside and my eyes tearing up from the cold.

I took an amazing apartment, which I loved. The place was 10 times the size of the last place I had in NYC. I had a balcony that was about 1200 square feet big on the back and another large one on the front. There were 2 huge bedrooms and 2 nice bathrooms. It was everything I wanted in a place. I set out to furnish it and I had fun with that. I picked my furniture, appliances and fabrics just the way I wanted them. I had a nice purple Nicole Miller bedspread with matching drapes, a gay welcome mat, a set of Henkle knives cook food with and more things I never dream I would be purchasing to furnish an apartment.

But, just as quick as I furnished it, I knew that it would not be my home. I don’t think I’ll ever have a home. I have lived in hotels for a few years and from one place to the next like a gypsy or a nomad. I seem to enjoy the ebb and flow of not knowing what the next day will be like or where I will end up. Being bogged down by a place was just not what I thought it was be. I had dreams of settling down and finding the harmony I had longed for. An apartment will never give me that. I think it will only come with growing old and accepting the past as the past and looking toward the future and making each day a true adventure.

I will say that I have lived a very happy life although it has been filled with jumping from one country to the next and one affair to another. At some point, one wonders what it will take for him to settle down. Most of you may know that answer but I do not. I don’t know when or where or even if. I do know that NYC was not the place for me. So, once again, I am off. Off on another adventure.

I had all my paintings and antiques I had collected over the years put into storage. The rest of my apartment I gave to friends and neighbors, as I know that I’ll not need it in the USA for many years.

I booked a last minute flight and rushed to the airport. I sit here on a plane filled with bodies that I don’t know and headed to a place that I do know will bring me adventure and excitement.

Perhaps I am the original Peter Pan and never want to grow up. I certainly want to keep playing and traveling and exploring.

A great astrologer friend of mine told me many years ago that I was born on a date that the stars had destined me to be a wanderer with no home and no place to put my head at night for a long period of time. I think maybe she was right. She also told me what I had a great capacity to change and adapt much like a chameleon. That, I don’t think she was right on. I am an obvious tourist and not a native of anywhere. Even in NYC, which I counted as home for many years before and after law school, it does not seem like home for me. It hasn’t since the day I took to the air and met Hooboy in Brazil for my first adventure.

I now travel without him and without someone that can just jump on a plane and meet me at some hotel on another continent. That saddens me. But, the thought of just waking up and watching the sunrise and saying, humm, I think I need to fly away today, exhilarates me.

Finally, I think my home has been given to me. It is not one place but a multitude of places and people. Adventures are to be had. Lessons to be learned. Dreams to be shared. Guys to review. Hearts to be broken. Love to be shared. Fortunes to be wasted. Drinks that call my name.

If the old adage is true, your home is where your heart is, well I am there. My heart belongs to so many places and so many people. We shall see if the next place is going to allow me to call it home or not but I guarantee you, it will be an adventure! And, for those willing to listen to my boring stories, there will be many to be shared here on the forums. I know many have complained about my boring writings and how pompous I sound. Haha You don’t really know me if you think I am pompous. Flamboyant maybe. Pompous no. I am down to earth, humble and gentle. I just come without a leash attached to me and with shoes that don't know where they want to go.

I ate my last bagel this morning at my favorite bagel shop. The guys there have seen me daily for months. I walk in and they know what I want. Whole Wheat bagel, toasted, low fat cream cheese and a piece of grilled chicken.

I said my goodbyes to my best friends in the city. Unlike last time I left, I just jumped on a place and called them from Sao Paulo, this time, I gave them a few hours notice. I was able to have a last meal with my best friend on earth at my favorite dive. No place anyone would have heard of or visited but it felt like the place to eat my last supper.

Saying goodbye to the apartment was easier than I thought. It didn’t speak back. I thought I heard an echo from a voice of years gone by saying, “Carpe Diem.” But, that is a voice not heard in a few years. Still, I could swear it was there.

For now, while I recover from the plane and the drama of paying for 4 extra pieces of luggage, Oz out. I’m sure I’ll reporting again soon from a tropical location where there are cute guys galore and life is sweet and the weather is warm.

Bon Voyage USA!

[TampaYankee]

Perhaps I am the original Peter Pan and never want to grow up. I certainly want to keep playing and traveling and exploring....

Bon Voyage USA!

Me thinks perhaps that you are Peter Pan all grown up... my idea of him anyway. A bundle of joy and fun and lightheartedness never content to light in any one place for too long. In search of new faces, adventures and entanglements. Always generous and caring and blessed/cursed with unending wanderlust and that other lust too. Bon Voyage Oz. Have fun!

[Guest epigonos]

Oz I commend you and in many ways I envy you. In my heart of hearts I know I couldn't do what you are doing. I am way too attached to my things. Bon voyage, be safe, have fun, and if you ever find yourself in the L.A. area drop me a line and I'll happily buy you a drink and a dinner.

[caeron]

I'm envious. I wish I had the economic opportunity to do it. Sounds like fun.

Growing up a military brat, I'm not much attached to my stuff. I think a laptop and the road and I'd be good.

[Guest LeoWalker]

A great astrologer friend of mine told me many years ago that I was born on a date that...

Sorry if it's a little off topic, but when is your birthday? I love astrology...so I'm interested to see how your natal chart could affect such a lifestyle.

I was born on August 1, 1983 4:33 AM, in Orlando, FL, USA. For the past couple of years, I've not maintained a wardrobe larger than 3-10 articles of clothing. =)

[TotallyOz]

Sorry if it's a little off topic, but when is your birthday? I love astrology...so I'm interested to see how your natal chart could affect such a lifestyle.

I was born on August 1, 1983 4:33 AM, in Orlando, FL, USA. For the past couple of years, I've not maintained a wardrobe larger than 3-10 articles of clothing. =)

I'm older than moses Leo. LOL But, I went to your site and was very impressed. Great site and very sexy photos. I bet those 3-10 piece look as good on you as they do off of you.

Thanks TY and Epigonos. I will try my best to have fun.

Caeron: Growing up a military brat, I'm not much attached to my stuff. I think a laptop and the road and I'd be good.

I tend to agree with you. I am not attached to many things. Perhaps that is why I can pack up and move so quickly. When I had a place in Thailand once, I just gave all I had bought to the boys I had living with me and they divided up the contents and took one truck load after another to somewhere. When in NYC last, my neighbors got some neat stuff as I much prefer to give to someone close by as opposed to dealing with Ebay or Craig's List. For me, the notebook, a few cameras and some gadgets are all I need and then off I go.

[Guest LeoWalker]

...I went to your site and was very impressed. Great site and very sexy photos.

Thanks.

[stripfan]

Oz,

I have enjoyed reading your posts and wish you the best of luck on new adventures. Carpe Diem indeed!

Stripfan