Is it easy to meet other young foreigners?

[Guest AndrewK]

Hi all, I am new here. I am Asian, but primarily grew up and studied in the West. I am really keen on visiting Thailand (esp. Phuket) for the first time this summer, and was wondering whether you guys could offer some guidance.

 

Basically, I am just interested in getting many nice massages and perhaps meeting some other interesting gay Westerners around my age for chats, fun, whatever (opportunities are limited back at home because I am not out).

 

My questions:

 

1. If I go for a massage at one of these gay outlets which advertise the fee at 200-400BHT:

- am I meant to be naked;

- how do I indicate if I want a hj; and

- how much extra should I pay (and how do I do this)?

 

2. How easy is it to meet nice, friendly gay Western friends my age (e.g. in Patong Beach, Phuket)? Where is the best place? I am 23. (and yes, if it would help, I guess I am the typical 'yuppie' type - sharp features, pleasant, finishing Ivy League school, impending Wall Street career).

 

Thanks a lot.

[Guest Hedda]

If you are looking for young white gay yuppies in your age bracket, who are looking for their Asian counterparts, I suggest you spend your holiday time partying in San Francisco, New York City, Fire Island, Provincetown or Ft. Lauderdale.

 

If you want to have your fling overseas with some young western guys, head for Amsterdam, London or Prague, not Asia. If Asia is your thing, my guess is that you might find more of what you are looking for in Singapore, not Thailand, but nowhere near what you'll get in the USA or Europe.

 

The average guy in a place like Pattaya, with the educational or career background you are talking about, is probably pushing 60, not 30. That's because the ATM machines here dispense libido, as well as cash.

_____________

 

PS: If you do come to Thailand and try a gay massage place, your massage guy will almost certainly be Thai, not western, and it will be assumed you want sex as part of the service. You'll shower and be given a towel to wear. Your masseur will do the rest. Enjoy.

[Guest AndrewK]

Thanks for the reply. I must say I am a little surprised - when I was back at uni, I used to hear so many stories of my British, European and Australian friends travelling around Southeast Asia for their holidays. I thought there would be many Westerners on holiday in Phuket too! =(

 

I have spent too much time in the big European and American cities - I can't quite do anything because I have friends all over.

 

With regards to the massage, thanks for your advice. I presume the advertised fee excludes the tip? What is the 'reasonable tip' for a gay massage (which ends with a hj)? Thanks again - sorry for being an absolute novice!

[Guest francois]

Regarding the massage, the advertised fee excludes the tip. A reasonable tip would be at least 500 Baht up to 1000 Baht depending on what service you receive.

Perhaps in the summer you may find some younger westerners in Phuket or Bangkok doing the party scene, but not likely in Pattaya.

[Guest mauRICE]

I didn't know that "sharp features" were archetypal of yuppies.

 

Phuket and Koh Samui are popular destinations among younger gay Westerners who are either travelling or working in the region. Your best bet is to come in the summer when uni students do most of their travelling. You might also run into Brit and Aussie students on their gap year. As you're looking for guys in the 20 to 25 age bracket, you can generally forget the $gay$ venues as these largely cater to older, commercial sex punters looking for Thai boys. Hit the beaches, the clubs and keep your gaydar on full alert. If you're fit, goodlooking and personable, you should be able to find what you're looking for. But you need to be a little aggressive; wallflowers don't attract young, horny bees.

 

If you really are as firmly in the closet as you say you are, you might want to place a personal ad before coming. There may be other intending holidaymakers like yourself seeking to hook up with non-locals.

 

I have to warn you, dear, that the sort white boys that you'd be interested in are usually into themselves, just as they are back home. I've had some success with backpacker types but I'm affluent, able to host and playing on my home turf. Depending on the target, I can switch from my Oxon cadence to a pandering Asian lilt almost as fast as a Thai boy can enter a PIN number! American boys are the best, God bless 'em. I'm particularly attracted to Southern and Midwestern boys. I find the combination of ol' fashioned good manners, lazy drawl and redneck ignorance quite a turn on. Last year, I had a uni dropout from Maryland stay with me for two weeks. Rusty blonde, green-eyed and only 'naaynteeeen'.

 

In my opinion, the calibre of the so-called 'young' western expatriates in the region is disappointing. Most are in in their late twenties to early forties, out of shape and early victims of alopaecia. Equipped with a middling education, they have the propensity to say things that acutely betray their lack of sophistication and cultural literacy especially when they're trying to impress. You won't find many western Ivy League types here, dear. Except for a handful in consulting positions, Ivy 'Leaguers' generally don't need to come to Thailand to 'stand out' and feel good about themselves.

 

May I suggest that you do not rule out Thai guys altogether. At your age, with your background and presumably pretty boy looks (I don't know), try hitting some of the high-end clubs in Royal City Avenue. I'm out of touch as to where the smart and beautiful boys go these days but you can try cruising the chat rooms of Gay.com for the latest info. You might have to lurk around for a while before you get any genuine responses as the majority of the occupants in there are moneyboys and their admirers, whether they know it or not. Talk up your background in your profile. If you're of East Asian descent (Chinese, Korean or Japanese), emphasise that. Many of the western-educated Thais from good families are frightened of being hornswoggled by their own kind and would appreciate the ephemeral company of someone like you.

[Guest AndrewK]

Maurice,

 

Thank you for your reply. It has been most helpful indeed.

 

I must first apologise if my introduction sounded a little off-putting. I certainly was not trying to impress anyone (this is after an anonymous board!). Rather, I was just offering a little indication of my background so as to enable more accurate advice and guidance to be given. I am open to meeting any Western young guy, but perhaps some of them would prefer to only meet people of certain backgrounds (due to fear, lack of trust, etc.). I am East Asian, fairly good-looking (I hope!), very personable and can oscillate between a Bostonian accent and an English public school cadence with relative ease. ;-)

 

I am looking forward to Thailand because it is where I feel I can explore my homosexual side, which is very difficult growing up in an all-boys school and studying at a university town where pretty much everybody knows everybody! From my summer internship experience, Wall Street is also quite a small community at the end of the day. All the people who work at the investment banks, hedge funds, corporate law firms and private equity firms are somehow connected, usually through mutual college friends.

 

Essentially, I am looking for those British and Australian backpackers, university students on their summer holidays and those on their gap years. I would certainly be going for many gay massages by Thai men, but the reason I would prefer to meet young Westerners is that I am looking for genuine and meaningful conversations / friendships, which might of course lead to fun thereafter! In principle, I am uncomfortable with the notion of having to pay someone just to talk and be friendly. Conservative as it may seem, I feel that there should be an element of mutual liking and enjoyment in these things. I am not being cheap in refusing to pay the tip

[Guest stef]

Hi AndrewK,

Yes in fact, you will mostly find older gentleman in the cruising area.

When I first got here 2 years ago I was amazed I couldn't find any younger guys but I was ok with it. It is a lot of fun.

 

You should not feel weird about paying for having fun. There is nothing wrong about that. I have been doing it since I was 21 and I am "Ok" looking. If you are looking for an easy hook up, without dealing with the " boy friend" type of problems, then paying is your best solution. It is easy " You walk in , you have fun , you walk out "

 

You might be able to find some younger guys time by time, in fact one of my friend, who is 23 just returned home after backpacking over a year here. So it is possible to find them, but not a regular basic. You just need to be patient

 

Good luck and have lots of fun

[Guest Hedda]

Andrew, dear, at the risk of offending you, and with apologies in advance for butting in, I have to say that you seem buried in a closet that might have been normal for some of us old timers back in 1970, but seems quite out of sync with the reality of gaylife in the USA in 2006.

 

I'm assuming from your self-description that you are probably ABC (American Born Chinese), with all the baggage that still connotes, including a good traditional dose of medicinal homophobia. Obviously, your choice of how to lead you lifestyle is none of my business, but you seem close to paranoid about how far you have to fly to safely fulfil your secret passions.

 

People rob banks because that's where the money is. You don't make reservations at a vegetariean restaurant to get a good steak. Young gay asian men who are turned on by young westerners should do likewise and go where the white boys are. Coming to Thailand to find white yuppies from Yale is a waste of time, money and your most precious commody - your youth.

 

Do you honestly think that you can't satisfy your passions without risking the kind of pubic exposure you obviously fear, by spending a few sex-filled weeks in San Francisco or LA, where you'll find 100 young white guys for every one swimming in Phuket ? And if by some horrible chance, you should run into someone in a gay bar that you also know in the straight world, just say:" Hi, fancy meeting you here" and see what develops.

 

You know, a lot of older gay men have spent a lot of sweat, tears, money and even blood to come out of the closet and enjoy the sun. Young gay professional men like you don't have to act like some flaming queen to feel fully liberated, and you can certainly keep your private life hidden from the family and inner circle if that's what you think is best, but loosen up or you're gonna squander your youth in a dusty closet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest mauRICE]

I hear where you're coming from but Hedda

[TotallyOz]

I have brought several American boys over to Thailand in the last year. All of them said before they came that they were not into Asian boys and would be looking for other farangs. However, within a day or two, all that changed. Most of them fell in love with the guys there and had a great time. They did not spend time looking for other farang guys as they learned more and were able to experience the culture more with the Thais.

 

All are now back in the USA and all write to me every week wanting to come back to Thailand. Each had a great time and said that it was one of the most special places on earth.

 

One guy did take a 6 week backpacking trip through Laso, Cambodia and Vietnam. He took a bus from Bangkok and during the trip met up with several other backpackers. He saw all the major sites of all 3 countries and for the entire 6 week journey spent only 300 US for All expenses. He was not looking for dates on the trip but he made great friends with many guys and girls from Australia and USA and France amoung other places. There are many other farangs out there. You will find them if you look in the right places. They are not in the gogo bars. Look in the hostels. Look in the dance clubs in Bangkok. But, most of all, just have a great time.

[Guest mauRICE]

I have brought several American boys over to Thailand in the last year.

 

Who ARE you, dear, the Hugh Hefner of gay Thailand?

 

 

[Guest AndrewK]

Thank you for all your comments. I do appreciate your suggestions, views and advice. Indeed, this is probably what I meant when I said I wanted

[Guest mauRICE]

I hope we haven't given you the impression that it is impossible to meet young gay westerners in Thailand. The possibility is certainly there but as Miss Hedda pointed out, you won't get the kind of organised numbers as you would in East LA, Long Beach or San Francisco. From my last trip I would say the pickings are getting better, judging from what