What is age appropriate?

[TotallyOz]

I have been dating a guy that is 12 years older than I am for over 5 weeks now. I have really enjoyed my time with him. He is one hot MF and has a body that would put to shame most professional bodybuilders. My family adore him even though he was married in the past and has 2 daughters in their mid twenties. I also adore the daughters and they have accepted me into their father’s life as a "special friend". I doubt this is long term but I am enjoying it while it lasts.

What I find most interesting is comments by family and friends that they are so happy I an in an “age appropriate” relationship. Perhaps they mean someone that makes more money than me. Perhaps they really do have an issue with age. My first long-term boyfriend was 2 years younger than me and we were together for almost 5 years. My last long-term boyfriend was with me for over 4 years and he was 13 years younger than me.

I have not quite understood the mentality of age appropriate if that is only referring to guys that are older than me. If one is 12 years older and the other is 13 years younger, is that really such an age difference with adults? I am just trying to figure out what is meant by “age appropriate.”

[marcanthony]

>I have been dating a guy that is 12 years older than I am for

>over 5 weeks now.

WTF???

Ok... I guess your story (which still has me reeling...) tells us all that "age appropriate" means... you love him, and he loves you.

[TotallyOz]

>Ok... I guess your story (which still has me reeling...)

>tells us all that "age appropriate" means... you

>love him, and he loves you.

haha. NOOOOO. I like him and enjoy his company. I think I love Brett Everett and I've never met him.

[lookin]

Congratulations on your new boyfriend!

Without knowing you, or your family and friends, it’s hard to know what they mean by “age appropriate”; but it does sound a little like a code phrase for something else.

You may be on to something when you speculate that it means someone who makes more money than you. Often, the older partner in a relationship is presumed to be contributing to the financial support of the younger partner, especially if the age difference is more than a few years. And your family and friends may feel you’ll be better off when you’re somebody’s boy toy, rather than somebody’s sugar daddy. So they encourage you in what they feel is an “age appropriate” relationship. (They also may not be fully aware that they’re thinking this way; I think it’s kind of an age-old bias.)

Of course, this is all just wild-ass speculation on my part. You might test out the hypothesis by dating a younger guy with lots of money, Ryan Phillipe for example, and see what your family and friends have to say about that.

Just don’t lose hold of your main squeeze!

[Guest StuCotts]

"Age appropriate" is meaningless. It is the kind of expression used in order to denigrate somebody else's relationship. Pragmatism is everything. A relationship that the two invoved in it agree is working for them is a good relationship. Nothing else matters.

As for your particular situation, what is there not to like about it? Ignore any negativity from nigglers. Rejoice in it for as long as you both are happy in it.

[TotallyOz]

> Rejoice in it

>for as long as you both are happy in it.

Agree!

[Guest FourAces]

Age appropriate is a term that conservative people use ... thos who generally are not comfortable with their own sexuality. Often times it refers to a older man with a legal yet much younger guy. I have never heard it associated with a older woman and a legal much younger guy.

Love should not be bound by such silly terms. As long as one is within the law and not harming someone else than any age difference is age appropriate.

I wonder how many times that term was used when Anna married Mr. Marshall.... actually zero times to the best of my knowledge.