Love Amongst the Ruins

[TotallyOz]

I have my head on my shoulders when it comes to escorts. I know where I stand. I have been with many over the years and I know the routine. I know how to be a friend and how to be a client. I know the difference between them. I keep my heart separated from a relationship with them. Always!

Well, not really. I met a guy on my trip here last year for Carnival and I fell for him bad. He was only at the saunas for a few days on that trip and then took a job full-time. He used the saunas as a go between. He has not been back to them since.

When I got to Rio I called him. He was happy I called. He came to see me. I adore him. There is no communication at all between us, as we don’t have a common spoken language. Last year I took him to Carnival and we spent a good fortune on the seats. My hotel wants me to do the same thing this year. I told them it was dependant upon this guy that was on his way to my hotel. As they are the ones that call him for me and translate the conversation, they know me and they know him.

Tonight, my interpreter said, “You are in love with him.” “I am not,” I said. “Oh yes you are. Every time he comes, your face lights up. Your demeanor changes and your smile goes from one end of the room to the other.”

I love being with escorts. I also love saying goodbye to them at the end of our time. I don’t love saying goodbye to this guy. I am almost in tears as he leaves, as he has to work and support his family.

I consider myself a wise client. I am not sure what happened that made me fall off my intelligent ladder and not think with my head. I am quite sure I am thinking with my heart and I am not sure that is a good thing.

Don’t get me wrong. There are many escorts that I love. But, I am not in love with them. I am just not sure I am going to be able to distance myself from this one again.

Anyone else with similar experiences? Any advice?

Oz

[Guest tweety]

Enjoy the moment, fellow traveller! Been there, done that. In the end, love must be reciprocated to be real, and love can never be reciprocated if the smile on the other's face was bought and paid for. Ah yes, you can be friends, have great sex, enjoy each other's company, but by definition you can never be "in love" and eventually you will come to see that. At that moment, the highest high is reciprocated only by the lowest low. I could counsel you to abandon ship, but in your current state you would not so enjjoy the moment or go find someone twice as cute to rent. Good sex, recent sex, even paid sex is the best tonic for a high school crush!

[Guest jackhammer91406]

Gosh,

I would never presume to give you advice. I have had this kind of thing happen twice. The second guy isn't a professional and never has been. It looks as though he could be here living with me in a few more weeks and for that I am very excited.

I think in your case, much depends on how the guy feels about you. If he has half of the same loving feeling that you obviously have for him, then I think you need to think about putting some kind of scenario in place that would allow you to be together for longer than just your trip. I realize there is a language barrier, my friend and I have the same issue. But he has found a way to tell me how he feels, and I am able to convey my desires to him as well.

Oz, before I jump any farther off that tree limb, I would determine how strong your friends feelings are and then decide.

Finally, as many have told me, life is very short (and growing shorter all the time) There is no time like now to start living the happiness you deserve for the rest of your life.

I hope that you find a way to make this happen for you.

Blessings

[marcanthony]

Oh my.

Life is good.

Congrats. :-)

[TotallyOz]

Thanks for your advice guys. Abandon ship? NEVER. Just picture me as the captain of Titanic. As Leo and lady were leaving the vessel, the captain took the helm and did what most do, they go down with their ship.

This guy has been with me 2 nights this week. The first day he left and asked for no money. I offered but he refused. Last night, he said again that he wanted to live with me and be my boyfriend. Perhaps he has bigger dreams than a programa. He is not a sauna boy. He worked there for only a short time. Has had a full-time job for the past 10 months and does not want to give it up. He took holiday during Carnival. I don't know what will happen beyond that.

I did offer last year to take care of him and even move here for him. I took a trip down for the move but his family insisted that we live near them. Like, within blocks. That was not something I was capable of doing as they do live where I would want to stay. I let him decide what he wanted and he could not go against the wishes of his family.

He told my best friend last night, she speaks the language, that he has regretted that since that day and has tried to get in touch with me for 9 months. He is now ready to move ahead. Again, I am not sure what this means for me. I have a great life in Thailand and don't plan on living in Brazil full-time. Part time? Some time? I don't know.

I am simply enjoying my time with him today. I woke up with a smile. He is simply adorable. As Marc Anthony and TY have seen photos, I am sure they can testify to the fact that he is hot. But, that is not all. He is sweet. He is caring and he says he wants to stay with me everyday I am in Brazil.

Having been 2 long term (over 4 years each) relationships that started a client/escort, I can say that they do work at times. It is not the norm. Some guys are looking for something other than the hot boynextdoor. Some are looking for a caring loving individual who takes great care of them emotionally and mentally. In both of the longer than 4 year guys, I was poor. I could afford an hour every week or so but could not take care of sometime. They both stayed. They also both left after 4 years. But, in the interim, we had a great time.

I am an advocate for always following your brain. If you brain and your heart are ever in synch it is great. It not, there are some decisions to be made. I have a few. But, for today, I will simply bask in the sunlight by the pool with my Latin lover.

Sorry, Marc, as you know, if he stays with me, I am less likely to find Eyki for you.

[TotallyOz]

>Finally, as many have told me, life is very short (and growing

>shorter all the time) There is no time like now to start

>living the happiness you deserve for the rest of your life.

You are a wise man! Perhaps I say this because I agree with what you say. Thanks.

[TotallyOz]

> but by definition you can

>never be "in love" and eventually you will come to

>see that.

You had me till this statement. I agreed with most of your post. But, I can be in love no matter what. Perhaps, that love may not be returned but that does not stop the falling in love part.

>At that moment, the highest high is reciprocated

>only by the lowest low.

Oh yes. I remember my departure from him last year. It took a few weeks in the Land of Smiles before I could get back to my usual cheery self.

>Good sex, recent

>sex, even paid sex is the best tonic for a high school crush!

LOL. 100% agree!

[marcanthony]

>Sorry, Marc, as you know, if he stays with me, I am less

>likely to find Eyki for you.

>

LOL... yes I figured that out.

I'll find him myself someday (I hope)!

In the meantime.... just enjoy!

:-)

[firecat691614502759]

Oz,

Not the first time this has happend to you and also is something that you have counseled others on.

In your heart you know the answers. Life is short as jackhammer says and anything that brings happiness into your life should embraced and enjoyed. There are always problems but the smile on your face that someone brings is always worth the bumps that inevitably come with the relationship.

Whether you take him with you to Thailand or just spend more time in Brazil , it will be worth it. The language problem can be overcome and only one of you has to be willing to meet the challenge in order to improve the communication.

As you have said you know many relationships that started out as paid encounters that have flourished for various periods of time. Maybe most eventually come to an end but so do most marriages. Life would not be very interesting if everyone stopped pursuing the ultimate love affair.

But you will need a bigger condo in Thailand , so this time please get something with a guest cottage for your friends.

Have fun and enjoy as I know you will!!!!

[TotallyOz]

Firecat,

Thanks for the nice response. As I always tell my friends, “do as I say, not as I do.” It is easy to give good advice to others but to heed your own advice is not so easy. In this case, I would have counseled my friend to remember the basis of the relationship. But, as I am that person, it is not so easy to do. As Barry said, “His smile is both broad and sincere. His eyes deep yet puppy doggish.” When you are dealing with someone with “puppy doggish” eyes, it is hard to look into the eyes and remember anything other than, how cute, how sweet, how sexy.

Last year, I would have given up everything and moved here just for him. In fact, I almost did. But, by some miracle, it did not work and I was positioned into a land of smiles with some amazing guys that I adore and want to spend time with for many years to come.

Timing is everything. Last year, I would have done anything to be with him. This year, I am more cautious.

Yesterday, we woke up, went for a swim, and had a dual massage poolside as we drank our coconuts and soda. We relaxed in the hotel and got reacquainted many times. We went to dinner at Marius in Leme. I know you love that place Firecat! My boy loved it as well. He was very happy to be there. The atmosphere was very carnival and the floor was full of little white beads that made its way as high as your ankle. The food was excellent. The drinks were superb. The atmosphere could not be beat. When the check same, the bill was more than his family pays for rent in one month. He was aghast.

We said goodnight, as he had to work the next morning. I made my way to the artist market in the middle of Copa and then got back to my room for a nice sleep.

He had exhausted me. I was tired. I did no saunas yesterday. I did little other than spend time with him all day. It was my best day in Brazil.

So, my mind is on track. My heart lost its way. My cock is in heaven. My ass hurts. My balls are drained. My back is relaxed from the massage. My face is covered with a bit of sun from the pool. My eyes make me look like a raccoon as I wore my goggles to swim. My wallet is empty from a nice dinner. My stomach is full from all the shrimp and lobster. My smiles is still as wide as the moment I laid eyes on him.

Just another day in paradise!

Oz

[TotallyOz]

Anxiously awaiting him today. He gets off work for 3 days for Carnival. We have tickets to the parade on Monday and to Scala Gay on Tuesday. I'll be taking my "puppy doggish" eyes guy and my favorite guy from 117. If I don't post much in the next few days, you will know the puppy dog eyes won me over. AGAIN!

Oz

Go Yankees!

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[Guest chuck50]

T OZ go for what you should. I just spent a few days in Toronto with my Puppy Dog Eyes!!!! Hugs Chuck!!! U are doing the right thing if only for the moment!!! Hugs CHUCK!!!! hugs

[Guest jessedane]

I just have to say that this is the sweetest and most beautiful thread I have ever read on any escorting board. Congrats on finding something real and genuine! Love can be found in the most unexpected of places.

[TotallyOz]

>I just have to say that this is the sweetest and most

>beautiful thread I have ever read on any escorting board.

>Congrats on finding something real and genuine! Love can be

>found in the most unexpected of places.

Thank you Jesse, your post was very sweet and MUCH appreciated!

I did find him real and genuine. I also found him to be married. Ooops. I am sure I will get more than just a few I TOLD YOU SO Oz. But, for what it is worth, I loved every minute I spent with him. I will spend more in the future. I won't plan my future around him. But, as always, I learned a great lesson. If you have never read my signature, here is it again. I live it each day!

Oz

---Life is here, life is now. Life is soooo short... and sex is just too

delicious! Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of

arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid

in sideways, Champagne and Strawberries in one hand, Diet Coke and Godiva

Chocolate in the other, a personal bottle of Eros, A BOX OF TROJAN MAGNUMS,

and a good Cuban cigar in the your pockets (ALL partially used), a wallet

ALMOST empty of currency but noticeably used from the rainbow colors of THE

SEVERAL bills THAT REMAIN from a multitude of countries and cards charged to

the max from the joys of life, body thoroughly used up, OLD AS TIME ITSELF,

totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO - what a ride!---

[Guest jessedane]

I love your signature Oz!

One thing that I have learned in life is that we should all take from life and love what we are getting at this very moment.

Every relationship we hold can benefit us and help us to become a better person. Some of the most passionate and meaningful relationships I have ever had in my life lasted no more than a week or two. But they affected me so much, filled me with love, and helped me become the person that I am today.

I think we all need to slow down sometimes and really appreciate the moments that we have and share with others and realize how much we can grow from even the shortest period of love with someone else.

[Buddy2]

I had a three weeks relationship with another soldier in Vietnam, just as we were about to leave the country. He went home to his girlfriend in Iowa. I returned to Massachuseetts. We have never commication since the day he left in June, 1969. We have a lot of freedom to stay overnight in hotels in Saigon because our tours were almost over, but not much money to really enjoy that

freedom on more than two or three occasions.

I still think about him every few weeks with great pleasure.

Congratulations for living your life to the fullest! Jesse has it exacxtly right.