My story-My shame-My recovery

[Guest ChgoBoy]

Had it not been for BG’s candid and honest postings within the “contact us” thread, I don’t think I could have ever found the courage, or strength within, to share the following experience with the readership of this board. And for that BG, I will be eternally grateful. It certainly helps in the telling, I suspect, knowing that this is an anonymous message center by design; however it still is difficult, painful and embarrassing to share in public. I hope that by telling my story here, it might help and encourage others who might have had a similar experience, to step out of the darkness and loneliness they must be living in and begin the process of healing and washing away the shame and stigma that accompanies an event of this type. I have just begun my recovery and so can you. The only thing in return, which I would ask for, for sharing my story here, is your compassion and absence of public judgment and ridicule. With that said, here is my story.

It all happened very quickly, suddenly and without prior warning. It was very late on a Saturday evening, this past Fall 2005. I was walking alone down Elaine Place in Chicago, returning home from one of those all night parties that occur here from time to time. The sky was clear, the air clean and crisp and the sounds of early birds were beginning to replace the silence of the ending night. It all happened very quickly, suddenly and without warning. And when I regained my consciousness, I found myself down, flat on my face, on the concrete sidewalk, with what felt like the weight of ten men upon me. I struggled for air. I struggled for my freedom, all of which eluded me. I was then injected with a blue like fluid into my neck and the more I struggled, the more I lost my ability to fight back. I was then thrown into a van and taken away. It all happened very quickly, suddenly and without warning.

On the morning of October 16, 2005, at approximately 4:30 in the morning, I was attacked and abducted by AOL research scientists wearing latex gloves and white laboratory overcoats with AOL insignias and transported to an undisclosed, underground facility, where I was probed and prodded for; oh I don’t know, it seemed like weeks but probably was just days. I believe it to be days over weeks now, as I can more clearly recall that when I finally returned home; my roommate was just finishing reading a post made by BG over at M4M which he had just started reading prior to my leaving the house for the party that night. So it must have been just days, unless of course he had read two posts. Anyway, for now, I’ll say days.

I recall after a few hours of driving, being pulled from the van and dragged down a long hallway toward a large vault like looking door. It was silver and had a logo of a little man on it. It looked as if he was running somewhere. As we got closer to the door, it began to open; Slowly, silently, and with an ever present presence of doom about it. I was dragged inside and the door shut behind us. I was quickly rushed to what seemed to be an observation area and was met by about 100 AOL scientists all lined up like a battalion of soldiers. They wore the same latex gloves and white laboratory over coats that my abductors were donned in; but in addition, wore black glasses and surgical caps.

I was immediately stripped naked in front of my captors. To my dismay, I was still wearing a black leather cock ring from the party earlier in the evening. This angered my captors, and, as they approached me in cadence like steps; began chanting “Adult behavior is bad”…..”Adult behavior is bad”….”Adult behavior is bad”……

I feared for my life. From the ceiling above, a platform was being lowered to the floor. It contained electronic machines, stainless steel probing devices, canisters of what looked like gas, leather restraints and objects seemingly made of latex and rubber. Amidst my panic and fear, I recall thinking “why didn’t the party I was at earlier have this kind of stuff?” I digress.

Suddenly, from behind, I was injected again with the same blue like fluid that had rendered me helpless during my abduction. I fell to the ground, but was caught before hitting the floor and was carried over to the platform and placed on a large table. For hours I was probed, prodded and even still taunted because of my leather cock ring. I was exhausted, but in a strange way, fully alert. Hours that seemed like days passed and then suddenly the room went black. There was no sound. There were no scientists. There was nothing but a void of existence. For hours I laid there, restrained and unable to move. I soon lost consciousness.

When I awoke, I was clothed in a white robe with an AOL insignia on it. I was wearing a black headband and what looked like a monitoring device around my wrist. It had a red light on it and it beeped every minute or so. Suddenly, a small door to my right opened and a human like presence appeared and was outlined in the brightest and whitest light of which I had ever seen.. Was I dead? Was I alive?

Suddenly, this presence emerged from the light. He too wore a white robe with an AOL insignia on it. But his robe was different. His robe had a name on it. It was Richard D. Parsons. He approached me with calm and then he spoke. “Welcome,” he said. “Welcome to the beginning of the new world.” I was sure I was dead, but he quickly assured me I was quite alive. He released my restraints and told me to stand up and follow him. I thought of running, but where?

We ended up in a small, sterile room, with only two chairs and a plasma TV screen on the wall. He asked me if I wanted to know why I was here. I replied “Yes, surely I do.” He immediately instructed me to never call him surely again. I clarified my statement and we continued. He began to tell me why I was here, and, as he was talking, turned on the TV and instructed me to watch. It was a video from eight years ago when I had finally had it with AOL and was yelling at the customer service rep to cancel my account and never contact me again. I was more than shocked. I asked him where and how he got the video. He replied “We know and see everything our customers do and say.” I became sick. Had they also seen that double ended dildo I had at that time? Were all my IM’s and emails being monitored for later blackmail and extortion? “What is going on here?” I asked. He continued to scare me even more.

“We here at AOL believe it is our responsibility to protect you from the things that are bad in the world. That is why we monitor your behaviors. We make it as difficult as we can for you to poison yourself with outside influences that we have deemed evil and unfit for a healthy society. We are the new world and we need people like you to stop making our mission more difficult than it already is to achieve.” He went on to tell me more about the evils in the world and of AOL’s mission to protect all of man kind from them.

I demanded to be released. He said “In time, my son, in time.” He then told me to get up and follow him. He took me into another room that reminded me of a small recording studio. All walls were insulated and the only lights were blue and green. Suddenly, the door slammed behind me and I was alone. Within minutes, a yellow smoke filled the room that, equally as fast, put me into a state of confusion and disorientation. Then it began. Chant like mantras filled the room and my ears. They became louder and louder and faster and faster…..they were chanting things like; in the name of the A and the O and the L, Amen! Over and over and over again. ..AOL will save you from your sins…..You’ve got redemption ….You’ve got salvation…….over and over and over again. Suddenly, I began to chant, faster and faster. Then I began to dance and chant, faster and faster. I was becoming one with the mantras and the mantras, one with me. For hours I chanted, and then I collapsed.

When I awoke, I was sitting in another room. This time with only a keyboard and monitor. I was delirious. Numb with exhaustion, but I felt different. I felt holy and cleansed. I felt redeemed and saved from the evils of which I had once embraced. I now knew what my sole mission in life was. I knew it more clearly than ever before. So I sat at the keyboard and began mailing AOL CD software to everyone I had ever known. I sent it to old boyfriends and past lovers. I sent it to my family and relatives. I hacked into every address book I could find to get more names and addresses of people to save. I typed faster than ever before and repented for my past while doing so. I was alive and so was the new world. I sent AOL software to people until my fingers were bloody from typing and was so exhausted I once again collapsed.

When I awoke, I was laying on the floor, in a pool of my own sweat. I thought of how that once would have been very hot and nasty. But now, my soul had been saved, and, hence my life.

Suddenly the room filled with a light. A light whiter and brighter than I had ever seen before. I felt the lights energy penetrate every cell throughout my body. It began to lift me up and move me in a sideways motion, and, then suddenly……

“Hey ChgoBoy, what’s up?” “Hey Alex, nothing much man, just walking home from another one of those parties; How about you?” “Oh just taking an early morning walk, seeing what might happen.”………. I smiled and continued walking home……..

This could be happening in your very neighborhood as we speak. If it has already happened to you, there is help available. There is no shame in seeking out and asking for help. Do whatever you can to stop them. It's your world, not theirs. :-)

[Guest Funseeker22]

I don`t think he likes AOL. ;-)

[Guest chuck50]

He has been Brainwashed by HB and others. HUGS Chuck

[TotallyOz]

Reading your story brought back such intense memories. I thought I was the only one who had experienced that. Now I know that there are others that have had the same experience. I will seek them out. I will try to find the common connection. One thing that I did experience that you did not was that they asked me to write down all the names of escort related screen names that I knew so they could suspend those accounts. Did that happen to you as well? If not, I have to wonder why I was singled out.

Anyway, thank you for sharing the experience. It means more to me than you will ever know! I think I will have a peaceful nights sleep for the first time in ages.