Some tips on online dating?

[Shoox]

Hello, new member here, though I have been lurking off and on for a few months. I have visited Bangkok a few times in the past and am familiar with the bricks and mortar places. My last, short, visit was in June this year, which was the first time I explored the possibility of online dating. What a nice word though, to be frank, I was looking to hire mb (I believe it means 'moneyboy') given that I am no spring chicken. My 'research' failed miserably. I didn't succeed in making any contact, for a number of reasons which should become clear below.

As I will be stepping down from a full-time position to a part-time contract next year, I expect to have more time (but less money!) to know Thailand better and I am thinking of a repeat visit in 2020 to the city and probably even Changmia and Pataya which I have heard so much about (on this site and elsewhere) but have never been to. But first, I need to learn how to navigate the online scene, otherwise the visit will prove as frustrating as the last.

I'd be grateful if more experienced members can share some tips.

I was mainly looking at Hornet, but I also had Blued. Blued has lately proven to be of reduced user-friendliness after recent upgrades, so I may have to rely on Hornet. My first problem was that I couldn't tell from the many profiles on Hornet which ones were mb and which were just looking for fun with their own peers. Am I missing something? I wouldn't want to cause offence by making assumptions about any profile. The second problem was that even when (in a rare instance) I could sense that a profile was probably a mb (he said "get massage" in Thai on his profile as translated by Google Translate, which I assumed meant "give massage"), I had no way to contact him immediately. I had no idea how frequently or infrequently they check Hornet for messages.

In that June visit, I didn't manage to make an approach to anyone on Hornet or Blued... but even if an opportunity presented itself, how should I open the conversation? I've read here on this site mentions of fees and what should be the going rate, which is helpful, but before I get to fees, what should I even say?

With thanks in advance...

 

[speedoo1]

Try Grindr

From most profiles it will be quite obvious if the guy expects some kind of remuneration for his services. Otherwise they will eventually let you know when you chat with them.

 

[Guest]

8 hours ago, Shoox said:

My first problem was that I couldn't tell from the many profiles on Hornet which ones were mb and which were just looking for fun with their own peers. Am I missing something? I wouldn't want to cause offence by making assumptions about any profile. The second problem was that even when (in a rare instance) I could sense that a profile was probably a mb (he said "get massage" in Thai on his profile as translated by Google Translate, which I assumed meant "give massage"), I had no way to contact him immediately. I had no idea how frequently or infrequently they check Hornet for messages.

1   I put my face pic on my Grindr and Hornet profiles.    Therefore it's obvious that I'm a mature farang.   MOST of the young lads who want to meet with me will therefore be money boys, although not all.

Incidentally, as there are some wierdos with fake profiles in my home town, I now have one set of Grindr and Hornet accounts for home and a different set for holidays.  So the wierdos will have more difficulty tracking me.

 

2   I assume anyone who replies to me in Pattaya is a money boy.

 

3  I take slightly more care in Bangkok and the rest of Thailand.    I ask questions like "What are you looking for ?", which is his opportunity to say 1000 baht (or whatever).      There are other good clues that he's a money boy.    If his profile pic is half naked and his evening location is around Patpong, he's probably a money boy working in a bar.   Massage almost always means more than a massage.

 

4  Having established he's a money boy,  on a phone app, we negotiate what he will do, for how long and what the tip will be.   e.g. 1000 short time Pattaya, 2000 long time, 1500 short time Bangkok.   [Anyone half decent in Pattaya actually gets more like 1200~1300].    

I also explain that if they don't do what they agreed, they don't get the tip.   Of course, it never gets to non-payment, as the ones who had no intention of performing back out before we meet.

Finally, if it's someone "new", we usually meet away from the hotel and if we agree to meet at (say) 22:00, I make it clear I will wait until 22:10 only.    A small percentage will be VERY late & I don't want to wait around for that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Shoox]

Thanks speedoo1 and z909,

For some reason, my Grindr didn't refresh properly when I was in Bangkok in June. I had no idea why, but I have since re-installed it and I hope it works the next time I am there.

Your suggestion to put a mature facepic is a good one. I did a partial face, but I will take your suggestion the next time of something more obviously mature. Indeed, the problem is the different levels of openness between being in Bangkok and being at home. I realise now there'll never be a happy compromise, but I don't know if I am technically savvy enough to have two of each app on my phone and toggle between the two without making a hash of things. My latest thought is that I should have two phones  -- one for Thailand if I plan to be a more regular visitor.

Thanks too your advice about how to start a conversation and what to expect. Reading these forums, I get the sense that Thai boys are mostly on Line, is this correct?

 

[ggobkk]

Change the photo when you arrive in Thailand and change it back on the way home. No need for two phones. 

[Guest]

1 hour ago, ggobkk said:

Change the photo when you arrive in Thailand and change it back on the way home. No need for two phones. 

Changing the photo is OK if you don't have any concerns about a minority of dodgy people in your own town following  your profile around the world.   I've had people with completely fake persona engaging in conversations, with some very dubious objectives.    I also know that one of my straight former work colleagues set up a fake Grindr profile purely for the purposes of winding someone up. 

For a second account, you don't need two of each app on your phone.    Just log out of Grindr/Hornet and then set up new accounts using different e-mail addresses.    For simplicity, use one e-mail account for "home" and one for "away".

The logout can be awkward to find but:

On Grindr:  Touch your profile icon in the top left corner of the screen.   Click on settings, then scroll down for Logout.

On Hornet: Click on your profile icon in the bottom right corner.   Click on the settings "gearwheel" in the top right corner.    Click on Account.  Then Hit the 3 dots in the top right corner and a Logout option appears.