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ichigo

Trip Report - Sept/Oct 2019

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Room at IResidence looks quite nice. Never stay there but passed by it many times on my way from Chong Nonsi to soi 3. Location is superb indeed.

Sorry to hear your QBE / quasi boyfriend experience  / did not work. But if we don't try we will not know, right? It's one thing to have fabulous 1-2 hours massage or short time but long time is different matter.

You right that guy don't need to spent every waking hour with you in such arrangement although in the room I'd say he should be available all the time. Its wise though to give him free time outside hotel. When I took Z from Pattya to BKK in Sept rule imposed on him by me  was that during day he is free man but at night time he should be with me in the room ( it did not work quite lie that but we were close catching for lost night time in a broad daylight).

Your smoking was likely not reason for his behavior although it's always nice to be considerate. Yes you could communicate better what you expect, it always works as guys are not mind readers and signals we send may be misinterpreted. If you enter room together and and your first moments are spent on the phone instead of on him, that is unmistakably signal that he can do the same - not sure it was a case. Strong prolonged hug, including wandering had here and there ( although not THERE ) it's always first thing i do after door are closed. I get feel of him and he gets reminder what he is  here for. 

No,  you did not need to spoil  him more , guys are coming with us not to be spoiled , they expect cash compensation and spoilage and gifts are not substitutes for it, just icing on the cake even if very generous. Whole phone thing could be avoided either by communicating clearly he should put it away or if you shy to do it , by placing your hand on the screen so he can see that you don like of what he is doing. Works for me 100 % 

1000 and even 2000 for a whole night is not overwhelming tip for BKK standards but if that's what he asked for that's fine.

refusing that 1000 / plate buffet was right thing , it would sent wrong signal as to your spending habit and potential. After few good days , yes,   but not at the first try

In my opinion you did not do anything wrong other that not stopping phone nonsense immediately .

As often , memories of first encounter for both of you did not translate  into anything exciting after months of absence. One of those cases when we wonder what we saw in that guy at the first place. In future it will most likely happen again with other guys as well.

Don't worry about anything , just carry on with burden of fun. If he contacts you looking for another time together if you feel like seeing him forget about malls and restaurants , bring him right to the room and tell him to leave that phone off moment he pulls it from his pocket.. Do the same with yours.

If you don't want to see him , just tell him that it's not option for now, don't lie about seeing in few days if you don't have such intention. If he asks why, mention that phone " you like your phone more than me' for example.

 

Have fun and don't forget about us here, we are waiting ........... 

  

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I had a similar awkward experience when I took a guy I'd met in Phuket to Chiang Mai for a week a couple of months later.  Somehow things just didn't click and after a few days I just wanted out. But as we were both away from our home towns, that was impossible. So we had to soldier on not really communicating. I vowed never to do it again, at least not without trying a holiday together in their home town first so at least one of us can escape.

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Thank you for your reply wise guru @vinapu! Really sage advice, and will take on board next time. In these sorts of situations I kinda just want to go with the flow, and see what happens sorta thing. I'm a person who likes to avoid confrontation. But as you said:

1 hour ago, vinapu said:

But if we don't try we will not know, right?

which I totally agree with. I just wanted to give it a shot, and it didn't quite turn out the way I expected, but then again partly my fault as I wasn't clear with my expectations (which I didn't have many as I wanted to go with the flow!) But food for thought definitely. I've already been back home for a couple of weeks now so all of the trip has finished, so more to come when I have a chance to sit down and type it out!

@Nasherich Yeah I can imagine how awkward that may have been, I guess I was lucky with my guy who was living in Bangkok so he wasn't too far from home. But we all live and learn right?

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48 minutes ago, ichigo said:

......I guess I was lucky with my guy who was living in Bangkok so he wasn't too far from home. But we all live and learn right?

it could be worse, imagine him clinging to you every second of each day ( Ok, bathroom breaks excluded ) and at end getting very emotional at good bye part. At least you got your freedom

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The boy told you how excited he is to see you and will meet you at the airport but then came 2 warning signs :

1.He didn't come to meet you at the airport and sent you a message that he is sleeping !

2. Once arrive to the room he preferred to communicate with his phone rather with you.

 

It's clear signs that he isn't into you at all but don't mind to go for it for the money if I were you once he massaged that he preferres to sleep rather to meet at the airport I would massage him back that he doesn't have to bother to come at all and  cancel the whole deal with him .

As I advised on other topics 24/7 a day with a boy is usually not a good experience unless you have great chemistry between you two I like to wake up early eat breakfast and then go the beach /pool/ shopping or other activities but most of the boys prefer to sleep long hours till late and are very lazy sometimes I have the filling that they want as much money as they can extract from you and do  as much little as they can once they're with you so on my upcoming trip no more  24/7 without a boy only ST or LT "till breakfast" as Vinapu suggested.

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6 hours ago, Nasherich said:

I had a similar awkward experience when I took a guy I'd met in Phuket to Chiang Mai for a week a couple of months later.  Somehow things just didn't click and after a few days I just wanted out. But as we were both away from our home towns, that was impossible. So we had to soldier on not really communicating. I vowed never to do it again, at least not without trying a holiday together in their home town first so at least one of us can escape.

It's really depends on the chemistry between you two. I once met a boy in Phuket we had great experience together so I took him with me to Pattaya for the last week of my vacation we had a lot of fun on the other side on other vacation I met beutiful boy in Pattaya we agreed that he will stay with me the whole vacation as he suggested and I bought flight ticket to Phuket for him but he turned to be capricious spoiled and lazy we had big fight and decided to cancelled the deal with him and didn't took him with me to Phuket gave him his fee for the week he had been with me in Pattaya and sent him away.

 I vowed never to do it again too !

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Definitely chemistry is important. My first time being with a boy was in my country, so no way out if things goes awry. But ive had him on LT for 5 times before, so not much mystery between us before the trip. Of course the advice (most of them in the timeless forum) helps a lot too. I also know he has travelled with other customers befoee as well, and saw him shares the diiferent type of dishes he enjoys to eat, so i know he is used to travelling and not a picky eater. The only mystery is how is his tolerance being next to me 24/7 lol. Most of the places we go, things we do, shopping we do are my idea and i asked if he would like it as well, which most of the time he says up to you hehe. I also learned a lot about myself during the trip since its my first time travelling with someone of this nature of relationship lol. 

For eating, i only eat at an upscaled place once, a japanese restaurant and he was about to order expensive sashimi but he always show it to me first asking my opinion. I show him an alternative, since i also wanted to order few more dishes to share and he oblige. So yes, being upfront and forward works. I still end up spending the same price of what he wouldve ordered but instead of him getting one expensive dish, we get multiple equally or even better tasted dishes to share between us two. 

Shopping was done on the last day, not the first day like OP, more like a reward for him being a good company. And even then, he waited for me to suggest what shop/items/price he can choose. He is also aware of the prices of the items compared to bangkok price and says its often cheaper here. Nothing beats having a quasi boyfriend all the time where u can have access to his hand, body, thigh, chest (and more in the room) anytime of the day when u feel horny haha. So id repeat it definitely but only if chemistry was there and ive at least done LT few times with him already, during which we already learned whats each other likes and dislikes. 

 

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5 hours ago, Boy69 said:

It's really depends on the chemistry between you two.

Absolutely agree.

4 hours ago, DivineMadman said:

I think that real-time communication is the first most important, second most important and third most important thing to making it work.

I do agree, and I will admit that this is probably an area I could probably improve upon just so that we are on the same page really. I mean, yeah sometimes the stars align and things can happen organically, but communication definitely is important too. 

1 hour ago, spoon said:

Definitely chemistry is important.

Yes!

It was only my 3rd trip to Thailand, so I feel as though I'm slightly inexperienced with all of this, but I am learning a lot from you guys here in the forum! I'm just exploring what is not as easily accessible in my home country, and just want to have a good time, you know? Thailand is beautiful and I do want to come back soon. More to come soon.

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5 hours ago, Boy69 said:

The boy told you how excited he is to see you and will meet you at the airport but then came 2 warning signs :

1.He didn't come to meet you at the airport and sent you a message that he is sleeping !

 

all that messaging back and forth seems to do more harm than good as it gives an opportunity for excuses and huge wastage of time.

I tell them be here at  that time and it seems to be working very well. Few times they missed their time I was gone and found new opportunities ie. my money went somewhere else.

I know lesson was learned.

I'd take that absence as warning sign but still would give him a chance but whole phone thing showed clearly he is not interested and I'd cut it out very fast, but as OP noticed , lesson learned 

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4 hours ago, DivineMadman said:

......traveling and spending time with my guy-of-the-moment.  I encourage people to try it if they think they might enjoy it.  It may not be for everyone - and not everyone is right for it - but it can be a wonderful experience.  

I think that real-time communication is the first most important, second most important and third most important thing to making it work.  .....  Be clear, be double clear, .......  And raise issues quickly.  

 

golden words

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1 hour ago, spoon said:

Nothing beats having a quasi boyfriend all the time where u can have access to his hand, body, thigh, chest (and more in the room) anytime of the day when u feel horny haha

 

another golden words

in short about QBF experience  - try it, communicate issues very early and if it doesn't work , cut it off fast

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54 minutes ago, ichigo said:

I told him I would come back (but turns out that I didn't unfortunately). Couldn't be bothered walking back so I took the BTS to the next stop to Chong Nonsi to my hotel.

....... I felt tired so I didn't bother going out. 

 

1. try to avoid making such commitments as next time you will be walking by guy may expect that you keep your word

2. climbing all those stairs was probably more strenuous than just walking to your hotel , no wonder you have  foot problem with lack of exercise

3. that's cardinal sin, not bothering to go out . Where's bother  ? 

two days in row - you become serial sinner, watch out !

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2 hours ago, vinapu said:

2. climbing all those stairs was probably more strenuous than just walking to your hotel , no wonder you have  foot problem with lack of exercise

 

2 hours ago, vinapu said:

two days in row - you become serial sinner, watch out !

So I seemed to get tired quite a lot during this trip, and you are totally right - my current lack of exercise (and probably poor diet) contributes a lot to this. I really do admire you guys who can fit so much in a single day, where I literally do one activity then have to rest for ages! But I'll definitely be working on this so that I can get more out of my next trip. 

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5 hours ago, ichigo said:

do agree, and I will admit that this is probably an area I could probably improve upon just so that we are on the same page really. I mean, yeah sometimes the stars align and things can happen organically, but communication definitely is important too. 

I don't think you made any wrong with the boy  as Vinapu advised it didn't work with him and it was better to cut it off fast . Chemistry is not something you can improve it's just an outcome with a certain boy sometimes there is a chemistry but usually not because 24/7 with a boy based solely on money without a real chemistry can not work unless the boy is very professional and experienced with such situations as spoon described his experience.

 

From my experience in Thailand most of the boys do ST only, some will agree to LT overnight only and only very few will do 24/7 more than one night the ones who agree to are because :

1. He really likes you and have expcatations for more serious relationship.

2. The boy is desperate for money and will do everything to secure more money than he can do on ST.

3. The boy wants take a break from the bar / his job so long paid vacation with a client is appealing to him.

4. The client is very rich so the boy will jump on the opportunity to make LT with healthy client.

5. The boy is  very experienced and professional and knows how to behave 24/7 with a client and extract the benefits of this situation.

 

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4 hours ago, ichigo said:

. I did get some offers from forum members to meet up, but I didn't end up arranging anything - so apologies and perhaps next time! I also didn't manage to go to any bars, to be honest I'm a little nervous, but I guess once I do it, it'll be easier and I won't be so scared! 

It was better if you did arrange meeting with forum member and go with him to the bars this way you won't be so nervous.

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thank you for a tip about rooftop bar in Silom Plaza, I was in Arena gazillion times and did not know there's roof top bar in the building. I guess this is what happens when one's eyes are foggy from thinking about all those muscled guys there and of what they hide in their undies.

After two failed tries I suggest remove J from your mailing list, two chances are enough and don't count on any improvement

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14 hours ago, DivineMadman said:

Here's hoping you do!

Great report.  Tx

Thank you :)

11 hours ago, Boy69 said:

It was better if you did arrange meeting with forum member and go with him to the bars this way you won't be so nervous.

Next time!

6 hours ago, vinapu said:

thank you for a tip about rooftop bar in Silom Plaza, I was in Arena gazillion times and did not know there's roof top bar in the building. I guess this is what happens when one's eyes are foggy from thinking about all those muscled guys there and of what they hide in their undies.

After two failed tries I suggest remove J from your mailing list, two chances are enough and don't count on any improvement

I don't even know how I came across it actually (most probably my endless perusing on google maps), not the highest of rooftop bars, but it was quite nice nonetheless. Regarding J, that ship has sailed! I've learnt my lesson, and chalking it all up to experience. There are plenty more guys in Thailand that I will explore next time!

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So when I went to Thailand earlier this year in April I thought I wouldn't be back until next year. But then I went in Sept/Oct. When I was there in Sept/Oct I thought that trip would be my final trip of the year. Until I booked flights and accommodation this week. So I will be back in Thailand for the 3rd time this year for a couple of weeks in December (indulgent much?) spending some time in Bangkok and Pattaya (Jomtien).. I'm super excited! 

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